Alice's New Moon
by Merina 2
Summary: You've read Bella's take on New Moon, now read Alice's. Her point of view following the events of the book with Jasper; her visions, thoughts, emotions, and own expeditions. Nominated for the 2011 Hopeless Romantic Awards! CURRENTLY BEING DRASTICALLY RE-EDITED.
1. Chapter 1 PARTY PART 1

***THIS STORY IS CURRENTLY BEING RE-EDITED AS WELL AS NEW CHAPTERS BEING ADDED AT THE SAME TIME***

**One day, shortly after discovering and whilst wondering what sort of Twilight fanfiction would be fun for me to try writing, I wondered errantly what Alice must have been thinking throughout the events of New Moon. What she must have been seeing in her visions, feeling about the traumas playing out around her, how she went about finding out about her human life, etc. So, I decided to try and find out...**

**I started writing chapters from Alice's point of view in May of 2009, having written next to nothing before that. So please don't just shoot insults at me in your reviews, but leave me some good constructive criticism and I'll see what I can do with it. And of course, you're going to leave a review on every single chapter, aren't you? Aren't you...?**

***crickets chirp***

**Darn it. Ah well. Enjoy!**

* * *

Alice's New Moon

By Merina 2

* * *

_One petal. Two petals. Three petals. _

Carefully, carefully, slowly and steadily, I gently picked the velvety soft pink petals off the beautiful fresh rose held between my thumb and forefinger, one by one by one…

_Four petals. Five petals. Six petals. _

Just as carefully, just as steadily, I slowly let each petal fall from my fingers into the bowl of scented water held by my disgruntled sister; trailing them in a circular pattern around the rim, then beginning on a snail shape leading towards the centre…

"Hurry up, can't you, my arm's going to sleep here –"

"Shh, Rose, let me concentrate, I'm nearly done!"

_Ten petals. Eleven petals. Twelve petals…_

"…there!" I smiled widely, placing the last petal in the exact centre of the little crystal bowl. "Perfect!"

"Divine," Rosalie muttered sarcastically, glaring down at her bowl as though it had personally offended her. "Honestly, Alice, she's going to hate it all anyway, what's the _point?_"

I rolled my eyes – she just didn't get it!

"The point_,_" I answered, chidingly, "is that we haven't had a party for seventy odd years. This should be an _occasion, _even for you!"

"Naturally. I can't breathe for excitement."

"Aw, Rose, come on," Emmett called reproachfully, from far across the room, where I had settled him sorting bowls filled with larger rose petals from those filled with smaller ones – he'd deliberately spilled two already, but I was being patient, today, and after all, what else was there for _Emmett _to be trusted with? "It's her eighteenth, isn't it? An important day in most humans' calendars!"

"And a useless day in mine," Rosalie muttered, delicately picking a strand of her own glistening silky-gold hair from the water in the glass bowl she still held and tossing it back into place.

I resisted the urge to smash the bowl I myself was carrying right over her perfect blonde head.

"Jazz? Help?"

My husband sidled over from where he'd been lighting Chinese lanterns for me in a shadowy corner of the room – hm, that wasn't good, no corner of the room should be _shadowy_ today, of all days! – making me catch my breath once again at how utterly, devastatingly beautiful he looked in his new pressed white shirt and trousers I'd picked up for him whilst shopping for the party yesterday. His hair was less stunning; combed back neatly, too neatly, almost plastered to his head, but at least still its usual gorgeous thick honey-blonde.

He smiled gently, knowingly as he approached me, noticing my scrutiny. "What shall I do, Alice?"

I shook myself quickly, trying to stay focused.

"Right. I need the room absolutely _filled _with these." I gestured to the rose bowls. "Every surface you can find – just the smaller petal ones, though, not the bigger lot! I want those arranged up the steps. Don't you dare drop another, Emmett, and Rose, you help Jazz – don't forget the dining table!"

I pushed the bowl I was holding into my husband's arms and took the lanterns from him in exchange. Then, resisting the urge to take another good long peek at how incredible he still looked, I turned to head outside – I'd planned to hang the lanterns out in the porch eaves…

* * *

As I hung the lanterns outside with pink ribbon – it was so silky and pretty I was tempted to incorporate some into my own party outfit, but there just wasn't time, now – I watched through the window as Esme placed Bella's birthday cake – also pink, complete with iced sugar roses and edible strawberry ribbon! – on the snowy-white clothed table.

I grimaced a little at the sight. It all looked so beautiful, the party table, and a part of me truly wanted to try a slice of cake, too – Bella would feel so awkward eating all by herself – but I dreaded the cardboard-like taste almost as much as having to choke it back up again later. Ugh. Perhaps if I dared Emmett to, he would eat with her instead, so she wouldn't be completely alone…?

"Alice?" Jasper's voice called from inside. "Do you want any of these bowls of roses for outside?"

"Oh – yes!" I called back. "Jazz, that's a great idea, bring some out here!"

Jasper appeared in the wood-framed doorway, looking pleased with himself, and handed me the bowls. I set about arranging them carefully on the steps up to the front door, trying one pattern, then another, and darting repeatedly down the driveway to face the house from far away and survey the result.

"Walk up and down the steps, Jazz!" I called to him. Jasper walked mechanically up and down the stairs, watching my reaction. Hm. The steps certainly looked more welcoming, now, but some more bowls at the very bottom might make it look even more so…

"More," I called. "We need more rose bowls!"

I darted past my husband back into the house, grabbed a couple more bowls from Emmett's table full, and hurried back to line the bottom of the stairs with them. Their scent filled the air, warm and sweet, but not overpowering; just right. I grinned.

"That should do it."

Again, I scrutinized the house from a little distance away, Jasper following this time to stand beside me, watching my face.

"Perfect!" I cried, delightedly. "It's perfect!"

"She's going to love it," my husband's voice murmured against my ear, sounding just as pleased as I was. "It looks beautiful, darlin'. Beautiful."

My smile grew impossibly. "It does. It really does. Let's get back inside, then, sort out those other roses."

I took his hand in mine, and pulled him back down the driveway, up the steps, and indoors once more.

"How much longer?" Rosalie sighed from the corner of the room; she looked as stunning as ever in her smart new black skirt and pale pink blouse, picked again by me for the occasion. I probed the future in hope of an answer to her question, slipping in and out for a few short seconds…

_The room bathed in candlelight, filled with the scent of roses, the doorbell's ring sounding through it…the clock on the table beside the piano…_

"Five minutes!" I half-squealed, my heart leaping. I couldn't wait! "Where are those leftover roses, Emmett? Chuck them to me, won't you!"

He did, grinning widely as they soared miles above my head – I had to jump to catch them.

"_Thanks_, Emmett."

"Anytime, little sis."

I rolled my eyes whilst he laughed his loud, booming laugh, spreading the roses across the party table in a semi-circular pattern around the cake, like a fan.

"Where's Carlisle?" I questioned over my shoulder, realizing I hadn't seen him for ages.

"Right here, Alice, don't you worry," Carlisle's voice came from the stairs. He joined me at the table a quarter of a second later, Esme smiling by his side – she was a wearing a pink chiffon top with a skirt similar to Rosalie's. Both of them added a small silver package to the growing pile that was collecting next to the cake.

"From Esme and me," Carlisle explained.

"Everything looks great, Alice," Esme added, smiling her warm smile. I returned it, then turned to face the rest of my family.

"Emmett – quick, you stand with Rose by the piano! Jazz, come here to me, we'll be left of the table! Carlisle and Esme, you stay where you are – mind your blouse doesn't catch on the cake, Esme! Hurry, Emmett!"

Emmett snapped a mock salute and darted over to Rosalie's side, looking almost as excited as I felt. Jasper walked swiftly, calmly towards me and took his stance by my side, hand round mine – looking amused.

"Now," I explained, still business like – well, this _was _very important. "When she comes in, we all shout happy birthday, ok?"

"Oh _blast, _is that really necessary, Alice?" Rosalie groaned, burying her face – carefully, so as not to dislodge any of her carefully arranged blonde locks – in one pale hand.

"Yes," I said, firmly. "This is _absolutely _necessary. It's what you always do, I've read about it, Rose. We all have to say it. You included."

Rosalie half-sighed, half-snarled quietly under her breath in frustration – and for a moment, I felt a twinge of regret for being so insistent with her…but I pushed it away quickly. This was Bella's special day. Everything had to be done the proper way, the normal way, the _human _way. Rosalie wasn't going to get out of this.

And honestly, all I'd asked her to do was hold a few crystal bowls of water and fetch a few candles –

"- oh _no!_" I burst out in utter horror, clapping both hands over my mouth, "The candles! I completely forgot! How could I?"

I rushed to the sideboard and tore open the top cupboard, grabbing the matches.

"Jazz, help me, please!"

Jasper was at my side instantly, hand outstretched for the matches – quickly, and with Esme, Emmett, and Carlisle's help, we hurried around the room lighting every one of the – pink, of course – candles I'd decorated every surface with earlier.

Only when we were completely finished, and everyone back in their proper places again, did I breathe huge sigh of relief.

"Phew," I sighed, running my hands over my head to check I hadn't dislodged any hair in my tearing rush. "Ok. Everything's ready, then. Panic over."

I leant back against Jasper's chest, his waiting arms rubbing my shoulders soothingly, while Emmett sniggered and Rosalie fought back a snort, turning it into an unconvincing cough. Esme was smiling affectionately over at me, Carlisle hiding his own laughter in his wife's caramel-coloured curls.

Jasper was smiling fondly down at me from behind, like I had just performed a thoroughly amusing act.

"_What?_" I demanded of everyone, annoyed.

"Nothing," Jasper smiled, stroking a stray strand of black hair I'd missed back behind my ear, his fingers lingering at my cheek. "Nothing, Alice."

* * *

**Review and I'll send you an invisible Edward Cullen of your own, complete with crooked smile, velveteen voice, liquid amber eyes and all...yes, even at age fourteen I'm still not over this kind of reviewer-bribery. Mwaha. REVIEW, PEOPLE. **


	2. Chapter 1 PARTY PART 2

I froze, suddenly hearing the familiar hum of Edward's car engine approaching the house; then the grate of gravel as he turned into the driveway, and finally the creak and bang of the car doors opening and closing as two people got out and began to walk up towards the house. One set of footsteps was smooth, regular, quiet and soft as a panther's tread – the other uneven, stumbling, ungainly; human.

I grinned widely, excitement bubbling inside me like a fountain.

"…have a question," Bella's familiar voice came from outside.

Silence.

"If I develop this film, will you show up in the picture?"

I felt Jasper chuckle quietly beside me, a chorus of low, rumbling bells – similar to Edward's higher, more musical laugh from outside. I closed my eyes at both sounds. Jasper's, because it was…well…Jasper. Edward's, because the sound was so free, so open and light-hearted and different and…just more _alive_ than he'd been before he'd met Bella. As Esme always said…she'd brought him to life.

I glanced round to see both my adopted parents smiling knowingly at each other as they listened to the sound – even Rosalie looked somewhat more cheerful. Edward's laughter continued right up until the front door swung open, and both he and Bella entered the room.

"Happy Birthday, Bella!" we all chorused, perfectly in unison – _even _Rosalie.

Bella, her expression mortified, stared hard at the oak-wood floor and blushed to the roots of her hazel-brown hair.

Beside me, Jasper stiffened instantly – and even I had to swallow a bit at the sight of the warm blood flooding her cheeks. _Argh…_

Esme and Carlisle were already greeting our human guest; Esme hugging her softly and kissing her forehead, whilst Carlisle put his arm around her.

"Sorry about this, Bella," he stage-whispered. "We couldn't rein Alice in!"

I scowled while Emmett guffawed, and Bella blushed even deeper, her eyes gazing around the room in horror as she took in the huge pink sponge cake and silver presents.

Emmett approached her then, a wide grin still on his face.

"You haven't changed at all!" he exclaimed, with mock disappointment. "I expected a perceptible difference, but here you are, red-faced just like always."

"Thanks a lot, Emmett," she muttered, blushing all over again. I stared hard at her face, trying to spot any signs of make-up – no, definitely none – and then scrutinized her outfit, which was unmatching, and clashed with her shoes. Right. She _definitely_ needed my help dressing for parties.

"Actually," Emmett was still saying, "I have to step out for a second – don't do anything funny while I'm gone!"

"I'll try," Bella replied, sarcastically, but she was smiling too.

Emmett winked conspiratorially at me, then darted out the door, closing it discreetly behind him – leaving Bella free again. _Finally. _My turn!

I let go of Jasper's hand and skipped towards my human friend, grabbing her elbow.

"Time to open presents!" I announced, towing her to the party table and grabbing one of the silver wrapped packages.

"Alice," Bella protested, a martyr's pleading expression on her face, "I know I told you I didn't want anything –"

"But I didn't listen," I finished, smugly, and took the camera from her hands to replace it with the present. "Open it!"

She sighed deeply, exasperated. but nevertheless proceeded to read the tag and then tear the paper off slowly, looking uncomfortable with all of us watching her and me bobbing up and down beside her so excitedly the table was starting to rattle.

She weighed the stereo's box in her hands for a minute, puzzled. Then she pulled it open, peering warily inside like the thing might explode at any moment. It was empty, of course.

"Um…thanks," she mumbled, looking confused.

Rosalie actually smiled. Esme and Carlisle burst out laughing along with me, and even Jasper chuckled quietly, beautifully, beside me.

"It's a stereo for your truck – Emmett's installing it right now so you can't return it," he explained – and then bit his lip when all eyes in the room turned to him, Bella's included. He wasn't one for enjoying attention any more than she was.

Understanding dawned on Bella's face, and she smiled.

"Thanks, Jasper – Rosalie," she said, and then turned towards the still closed door. "Thanks Emmett!" she called, loudly.

Emmett's booming laugh sounded from outside, whilst I eagerly grabbed a second present.

"Open mine and Edward's next!" I said excitedly – this was so much fun!

Bella shot Edward a daggers look.

"You promised," she accused him, eyebrows furrowed in disapproval, whilst from behind her, Emmett bounded back into the room.

"Just in time!" he exclaimed happily.

Edward smiled down at Bella, face perfectly composed into an innocent mask.

"I didn't spend a dime," he reassured her, brushing a strand of hair from her face, and Jasper chuckled again from behind me, drifting a little closer than usual to get a good look at the present; his hand winding gently, possessively round mine again.

Bella was still frowning, unconvinced – but she held out her hand for the package all the same.

"Give it to me," she sighed, probably also realizing I wasn't going to let her leave this house until she opened it. Emmett guffawed again with delight, while I bounced up and down, wishing she would hurry up.

Bella slid her finger under the edge of the paper, and then jerked it, hard, under the tape.

"Shoot," she muttered, wincing – and held up her hand...

…a single bead of velvety-red blood oozed from the tiny slit cut into her finger.

* * *

And it all happened very quickly then.

"_No!_" Edward shouted, almost roared, and before I could even begin to process what had happened, Jasper shoved past me, snarls erupting from his chest, his face contorting into its hunter's mask – just as Edward flung himself at Bella to protect her. Both went skidding across the table, china smashing, the table cloth slipping – Bella landing with a _crunch _in a mess of shattered plates and presents, just as Jasper collided with Edward, snapping and snarling frantically to reach Bella – whose arm now had a long, deep gash down the side of it, out of which blood was pouring; thick, warm, sweet as it trickled over her skin…

I clamped my hand to my mouth and nose in horror. The scent was stifling, impossibly strong, so _delicious_ it made my throat cry out in longing – I couldn't even move to help as Emmett joined Edward in his struggle to hold my husband back from Bella's blood…blood that was quickly soaking the carpet with its dark, silky scarlet stain...

And it didn't matter that I'd hunted only yesterday, three giant elk in the forest with Jasper. And it didn't matter that this was Bella, my friend, my very best friend, Edward's mate, his love, his whole world, his whole reason for existence…

I was starving. Famished. Burning with thirst.

I was _ravenous…_

* * *

**Review and I will send you an invisible...hm…how about a Jacob Black? Complete with chocolaty smooth brown skin, thousand-watt swoon-inducing smile, and amazing goodness-knows-how-many-pounds chest. **

**Though...I suppose there are some reviewists who hate poor Jake...well, Jake-haters, I'll send you a Jacob if you DON'T review, so he can annoy you no end. Mwaha. So review. OR ELSE. **


	3. Chapter 2 STITCHES PART 1

"Emmett, Rose, get Jasper outside," Carlisle's voice cut through my horrified, hungry stupor, firmly and calmly.

_Jazz_, I thought vaguely. _You need to help Jazz, quit thinking about yourself, fight it down, Alice, help Jasper…_

But when I finally managed to gather my thoughts and secure my breathing, Emmett already had. Together, he and Rosalie managed to drag my enraged, snarling husband away from Bella's crumpled, trembling figure, and towards the door Esme held open; one hand clamped over her mouth, too.

I gazed wildly round the room for something to do, some way to help – still fighting the fog that Bella's scent was clouding my mind with. Maybe a cloth, or something, to mop up the blood…?

I darted to the kitchen, spotting one of Esme's daisy-patterned tea towels hanging on the kitchen door. I grabbed it and hurried back to Carlisle, hand still over my mouth. He was bending over Bella, with Edward – his face blank, like a man who'd seen a ghost – close by his side.

"Here, Carlisle," I mumbled through my hand, holding it out to him, but he shook his head.

"Too much glass in the wound."

He thought for a moment, then reached and ripped a long strip from the party tablecloth – I instantly felt awful about insisting earlier we use Esme's favourite antique one – and tied it swiftly around Bella's bleeding arm to form a tourniquet.

"Bella? Do you want me to drive you to the hospital, or would you like me to take care of it here?"

"Here, please," Bella whispered, white-faced and still trembling. Of course, I thought – she wouldn't want to make Charlie worry, cause any trouble. Always the way with Bella.

"I'll get your bag," I told Carlisle, using up my remaining air for speaking, then headed quickly up stairs, where I released my mouth and nose for the first time. The scent still clawed dry thirst at my throat as I breathed in, but it was manageable. I grabbed Carlisle's bag from his desk, then headed downstairs again as fast as I could.

Edward's jaw was clenched tight, his face carved from stone as he watched Carlisle bend over Bella's still bleeding arm. If it was this hard for me...I couldn't imagine how he was doing it. Poor, poor Edward.

"Let's take her to the kitchen table," Carlisle murmured.

Bella shifted in her crumpled position, causing more blood to ooze from her cut skin; it trickled in little rivulets off her elbow and onto the carpet. The smell of it made my throat burn worse than ever, venom welling in my mouth, but I ignored it determinedly and ran ahead into the kitchen, placing Carlisle's bag on the kitchen table.

"How are you doing Bella?" I heard him ask her from the other room.

"I'm fine," she replied, shakily.

I pulled my old desk light from a kitchen draw and plugged it into the wall, placing it on the table near the bag. Edward entered, carrying the still ashen-faced Bella, and placed her very carefully down in a chair, whilst Carlisle sat opposite. I hovered awkwardly at the door, still trying not to breath. Edward's face was set in lines of furious determination.

"Just go, Edward," Bella sighed.

"I can handle it," he said, stiffly.

_You know, Edward, you really don't sound like you can,_ I thought, tentatively. He glared at me.

"You don't need to be a hero," Bella said, sighing again. "Carlisle can fix me up without your help. Get some fresh air." She winced as Carlisle pulled at her arm.

"I'll stay," Edward insisted, his voice strained.

"Why are you so masochistic?" Bella mumbled grumpily.

Carlisle decided to take charge. "Edward, you may as well go and find Jasper before he gets too far. I'm sure he's upset with himself, and I doubt he'll listen to anyone but you right now."

"Yes," Bella agreed eagerly. "Go find Jasper."

"You might as well do something useful," I chipped in.

Edward glowered at each of us in turn, obviously thoroughly annoyed at our ganging up on him – but finally nodded, and headed out the door.

I paused for a minute, wondering how long _I _could hold out. Another quick glance at Bella's mouth-wateringly dripping arm answered that question. I gave Bella a small, sorry smile, unable to manage anything more – and then ducked out of the door too. I didn't trust myself to speak, to take in another breath of the blood's sickening sweetness.


	4. Chapter 2 STITCHES PART 2

Of course, I headed straight out into the woods to find Jasper – following his and Edward's scent to finally find them together almost three miles from the house. That worried me – I hadn't realised Emmett and Rose would've had to bring him so far away from the house to calm down.

_Oh Jazz, Jazz, Jazz…_

My husband was curled up on a large, fallen tree trunk – knees up, face buried in his arms, shutting himself away from the world. He glanced up for the shortest of seconds as approached him and Edward, his expression wretched, eyes blank with what I recognized instantly as the familiar self-loathing he already tortured himself with so much.

_Oh Jazz…_

Guilt writhing inside me, I sped towards them both as fast as my legs would carry me, scrambling up onto the log beside him, and touching his hand gently with my tiny one. He barely glanced at me. I waited, watching him, willing him to speak, for Edward to speak, for someone to say _something._ The seconds passed silently.

I finally leant forward and slipped both my arms around him, as far as they would go, hugging him against me.

"Jazz?"

Nothing. Not even a shift at my embrace. I might as well have been trying to comfort a statue.

"Oh Jazz," I sighed, softly. "Jazz, she…Bella…she doesn't blame you for anything, Jazz, you've got to know that, _anything._"

Jasper moved his head a fraction of an inch, just to register he'd heard me, mouth hardened in a thin line.

I tried again, tightening my arms around him, holding him as close against me as I could – just like he always did when he was trying to comfort me.

"Jazz, it could have happened to _any_ of us. You know that. _Any_ of us could have lost control. It was just you who happened to….snap first."

More silence. Jasper's stance didn't change – but his hand shook with some emotion, something building up beneath the surface. I curled myself even tighter around him, one hand clutched in both of mine, wishing he would look at me.

"She says to tell you sorry," I told him, remembering Bella's request to pass on her message – but the instant the words were out of my mouth, I wished I could take them back.

"_Sorry,_" Jasper's voice hissed, from somewhere inside his arms, and then again, louder as he pushed away from me, head snapping up, "_sorry – _what does she have to be _sorry _about? _I'm_ the one who should be sorry! _I'm_ the one who utterly destroyed her birthday party, the one who smashed up her presents, ruined her cake – not to mention, _nearly killed her! _

He was shouting by the end, his voice echoing in a thousand ugly, roaring Jasper-voices round the clearing. I shook my head desperately, try to reach for him again, but he batted my hands away, face blazing with fury.

"_I'm _the one, Alice, it's me, always me, who can nevercontrol himself! _I'm the_ _reason_ we keep having to re-locate goodness know how many times, and why? Because I'm _weaker, _that's why, weaker than all of you, weak and monstrous – I _wanted _to kill her, Alice! My own brother's mate! I wanted it so much – what would have _happened_ – and her blood – my _throat_, I just – I can't – I'm just so – _ugh!_"

He snarled in frustration, disgusted with himself…then buried his face in his hands again. I couldn't hold myself back any longer – I threw both tiny arms round him again, crushing him against me as tight as I could, nestling my face in his honey-gold hair. He still stayed stiff as a statue in my arms, but I could feel him shaking with suppressed rage…

"I'm sorry, Jazz – I'm so sorry, but don't blame yourself, please…I'm sorry…I'm sorry for you, I'm sorry I ever wanted to have a party in the first place, I'm sorry –"

He shook his head, dismissing my apologies, cringing away from my touch, but I clung on determinedly…and finally he gave in, simply going back to keeping his face hidden in his hands.

"Jazz? Jazz, talk to me, please. I'm so, so sorry…"

"I'm fine," he mumbled, but his voice trembled. "Stop apologizing, darlin', please. I shouldn't…I'm not the one who…I'm the….I…I'm…"

He couldn't finish. He just turned to me, suddenly, and before I knew it he was hugging me back, clutching me against him, burying his face in my hair. I breathed a silent sigh of relief, closing my eyes, and letting my head rest against his shoulder. The worst was over. He was going to be all right.

To my surprise, when my eyes finally opened, they met Edward's – I'd completely forgotten about him – who stood silent and solitary across the clearing from us, gazing up at the darkening sky.

"Edward? You ok?"

He didn't look at me. Didn't even register he'd heard me. I bit my lip, suddenly worried about him, too.

"Edward, how about you head back to the house? Carlisle will probably be done with Bella. I'm sure she'll want to see you."

Edward didn't say anything. I studied his expression, wondering warily what he was thinking. His face was still blank, masked, but he also looked almost lost…deep, deep in thought.

"_Edward?_" I probed.

Edward blinked, seeming to awake from a daze – and focussed on Jasper and me again. He hesitated, then nodded stiffly once, and turned away. "I'm going for a walk, first."

_Do, _I thought wryly. _You look like you need one._

Edward nodded again, expressionless, then vanished into the trees without another word.

Jasper tightened his grip on me.

"Oh Jazz…" I stroked my fingers through his soft locks of hair – I didn't know what to say. There weren't words to describe how awful I felt for, how much I wished I could comfort him – but this seemed to be all he wanted, at the moment.

"Being _stupid,_" Jasper mumbled against my hair. "Bella's the one who…I should be…I'm so…"

"Shh," I murmured. "Don't talk. It's ok. _Bella's_ ok."

"_Alice_ –" he protested, angry entering his voice again.

"- Alice nothing," I interrupted before he could finish. "Bella. Is. _Fine._ Jasper."

He sighed, but kept quiet, his arms tightening a little around me again.

"I just…I _hate_…feeling weak," he mumbled.

"I know," I sighed, nestling even close against him. "I know."

For several minutes, we simply sat, wrapped around each other. I let my head drop again onto his shoulder, watching a tiny female robin carry a twig far too large and heavy for it up a tall oak, to where the foundations of her mate's nest sat nestled between two branches. The forest darkened steadily around us, black stealing through the trees to coil around us both. I lost sight of the bird, and slipped into its future instead, glad to see she would make it to the top of the tree with some help from her mate, who would arrive in about a minute and seven seconds…

…_both sets of fluttering wings, the twig clutched tight in their sharp little beaks, flapping hard to reach the top of the tree, pressing the twig into the beginnings of a nest; cheeping, chirruping…_

"I'm enjoying your emotions," Jasper murmured, quietly, and his voice was happier now, too, more like his old self. "Very relaxed, dreamy…"

"Good," I murmured, smiling; pleased with myself, for that. I drew back tentatively, then, and he let me; pulling away so I could read his expression.

"Feeling better?" I asked, gently.

He smiled faintly, nodding. "Yes. Thanks to you."

And it was true. He did look a little better. No more anger, much more reserved; but there was still an edge of hopelessness, of wretchedness that made me made my heart ache with misery to see. I would have to keep trying…

"Thank you, Alice," he murmured, one of his scarred, ruined hands stroking the stray strands of hair gently from my face. I leant up to kiss him, brushing his lips once, twice, three times, warm and comforting as I could make them, whilst his hands reached to cup my face…

"Alice!"

Edward's voice cut so suddenly through our mindless bliss that I jumped – springing away from my husband just in time, as Edward came speeding into view through the thick, dark trees.

I sighed, frowning pointedly at him as he approached us – well, he _must _have heard and realised what was happening, mustn't he? Or was he so preoccupied with his own thoughts, he hadn't heard ours…

"What_,_ Edward?" I asked, a little grumpily.

"Carlisle's finished with Bella. I can hear what he's thinking from here. And she needs new clothes, Bella, her old ones are…messy. Also, she will probably try to leave her presents behind. I thought you might want to prevent that."

Edward's tone was as cold as his expression.

I was bit my lip hard; torn. On the one hand, there was Jasper, and he needed me most right now...

…but Bella's presents! I just couldn't let her go home without them!

I shot Jasper a desperate look, willing him to request that I stay, so I wouldn't have to make the decision. He gave me a shadow of a smile, understanding instantly.

"It's all right, darlin'. I'm fine, now, you know that. You go and force the presents on Bella. I'll see you in a minute."

I smiled, unable to stop myself, and leaned in to peck his cheek quickly, promising I'd be back soon, then reached for Edward's hand. Together, the pair of us headed back through the dark trees to the house.

I glanced briefly back over my shoulder one last time, as we sped into a run. Jasper was still sitting there, still as a statue, staring at nothing. I turned my head away sadly, sighing to myself. _Jasper, Jasper, Jasper. My poor Jasper. _

Edward trudged along beside me, not keeping up. I had to slow to almost a walk to keep his pace. What was up with him? I was starting to worry about Edward almost as much as Jasper. I glanced sideways at his hard, cold face. What was he thinking? What was going through his mind that would make him look like this…?


	5. Chapter 2 STITCHES PART 3

We reached the house in seconds, and I dropped Edward's hand to open the door. Bella stood in the doorway of the kitchen, Carlisle by her side. Her arm was patched up, and her face had a little colour in it again – though her clothes were still spattered with blood and debris from the table. I felt a pang of horror at the sight – not that her top or jeans had been anything spectacularly valuable, hardly designer labels, but it was still painful to see clothes, _any _clothes, ruined like that…

"Come on," I called to her, holding out my hand. "I'll get you something less macabre to wear."

I found her one of Esme's shirts – pale blue, as the colour had always suited her, with a deep v-neck – and chucked her ruined top in the washing machine whilst she changed. As we headed back to the stairs again, however, she paused, turning to face me.

"Alice?" she whispered, looking nervous.

"Yes?" I replied, smiling as encouragingly as I could.

"How…bad…is it?" she asked, quietly.

I wondered for a second exactly what she meant – then remembered Edward's hard, expressionless eyes, and stiffened, biting my lip.

"I'm…not sure yet," I said carefully, still unsure of exactly what she was asking me. How Edward was? Whether he was angry with Jasper – or _me, _for forcing the party celebrations on Bella in the first place? Or even, angry with Bella herself…though that made no sense, it was exactly the sort of thing she'd be dreading…

"How's Jasper?" Bella was asking, her eyes full of concern, now. I grimaced, biting my lip…and chose my words of answer carefully.

"He's very unhappy with himself," I said, truthfully. "It's all so much more of challenge for him. And he hates feeling weak."

_Really hates it,_ I added mentally, with a pang of fresh worry and affection for my husband.

"It's not his fault," Bella said quickly, and firmly, frowning now. I thought of Jasper's reaction to that, and nearly smiled. They were both so much the same, sometimes – determined to take the blame for each other's misfortunes!

"You'll tell him I'm not mad at him, not at all, won't you?" Bella was saying, her big brown eyes still anxious.

"Of course." I smiled again, trying to reassure her – but she still didn't look quite convinced.

Edward was waiting for us both by the front door, face still a dark mask. He held it open without a word as we both arrived downstairs, gesturing wordlessly for Bella to go first. She approached him timidly – and _yes_, of course, she passed the pile of tidied up presents that stood under the piano without glancing twice at them!

I sighed in exasperation – and jumped in.

"Take your things!" I cried, scooping them up and pressing them into her good arm. "You can thank me later, when you've opened them."

She rolled her eyes, but tucked the packages under her arm all the same, giving me a small smile of thanks.

"Good night, Bella," Esme called quietly, her heart-shaped face unnaturally subdued as we watched the pair of them duck through the door, one after the other.

"Goodnight," Carlisle murmured. Both of them glanced at each other, something silent passing between them – then shot identical, fearful glances at their grim-faced son as he led Bella away into the black night.

The door creaked, rattled, and swung _snap _shut behind them. With the dead silence in the room, it sounded like a gunshot.

No one spoke for a few seconds.

"Well."

Carlisle tired voice broke the silence. His face was worn as he turned to face his wife; lines of fresh worry creasing his expression

"Oh Carlisle…"

Carlisle pulled her close in an embrace, nestling his face against her curls – and spoke to me over her shoulder.

"Alice. Where are Jasper and the others?"

I frowned. Now I came to think of it, where _were _Emmett and Rosalie…?

…_a blurred picture, a darkened river, water slapping gently against the bank, Rosalie and Emmett murmuring quietly together…Jasper entering the house, face as worn as Carlisle's, the clock on the mantelpiece…_

"Couple of hours," I said out loud, to the waiting Carlisle. "Except…wait…"

…_Edward, curled with Bella on her bed…the little electric clock hands ticking past two in the morning…Edward scrambling out of the window, disappearing into the woods…_

"…Edward will be back around two-ish. Maybe three."

… _Edward's quiet, desolate voice, "need to talk to all of you"…_

"He wants to talk to us. To all of us."

Carlisle nodded, and then sighed again. "Yes…Rosalie will have some views to air on this too, I'm sure."

I grimaced – yes, of course, Rose would have a lot to say on the matter, I knew that. Sigh…

Esme was talking now, her voice a low, fretful murmur; both she and Carlisle headed for one of our big white sofas and sank down on it, arms around the other. I joined them, mind still flicking between present and future, trying to work out the exact time Edward would be back…

"Jasper," Esme's voice drifted to me, and I blinked to see her leaning forward intently towards me, face creased with a new kind of anxiety now. "How's Jasper, Alice?"

I sighed quietly, not really wanting to bring up the subject again.

"He feels terrible. I tried to stop him tearing himself up about it too much, but…he's Jazz." I half-smiled, half-grimaced, whilst Esme nodded in understanding.

"He's all right now, though?"

"Yes. He's better. It was bad though…really bad…that time seven years ago…"

Esme winced. No one wanted to remember seven years ago. Jasper had had an awful, awful slip up whilst hunting – it hadn't been his fault, it was _never_ his fault, he couldn't help himself – but he'd stumbled across two tiny children playing near a herd of deer he'd been after…

He hadn't been the same for months afterwards.

"We have to talk to Edward, the moment he gets back – before _he_ can talk to Jasper," Esme was saying, quickly and firmly. "Tell him to leave his brother be. It wasn't his fault – wasn't _anyone's_ fault – and Jasper's been through enough. We have to tell Rose that too, that there's no need to go on at him – he _knows_ what he did. Forgive and forget."

She sank back in her seat, face decisive; making an end to the matter. I smiled, and so did Carlisle, squeezing his wife's shoulders soothingly. "Somehow I don't think it'll be that easy, dear. But we _will _talk to them all, just as soon as they're back. This will work out."


	6. Chapter 2 STITCHES PART 4

We were all silent, then – all listening for the sounds of the rest of our family returning. I stared silently around the party room, at all my hard work, all the decorations Esme and I had bought for the occasion; the dining table was back in place, white tablecloth gone – as were the presents, of course. The cake was missing too, probably somewhere in the depths of our kitchen bin by now, surrounded with the pieces of smashed china from the plates, which the table also no longer held. I wished I could have given Bella at least a slice or two to take home, and maybe one for Charlie, too…but the glass shards had showered the sticky icing, and it wasn't fit for anyone, vampire or human, to eat now.

The floor of the room was spotless though – Esme must have cleaned it. The candles still carpeting every surface fluttered forlornly, pointlessly.

I sighed. It seemed like such a waste of what was supposed to have been the perfect birthday party. None of the preparations had been put to their proper use. Jasper had made sure of that –

– _no_, I told myself, firmly, _no, don't you even go there, Alice, don't you even start to think…to blame…it wasn't his fault, he_ _couldn't help himself; he couldn't have stopped what happened from happening any more than you could. _

And he was sorry, so sorry, and so ashamed; he felt so terrible. The party didn't matter, didn't matter in the slightest. It didn't. It didn't…

I still couldn't stop myself from biting my lip dejectedly as I continued to take in all my carefully arranged decorations that had never been used.

We hadn't even gotten to sing happy birthday…

"Alice?"

I jumped. I'd been caught up in a chorus of cake cutting and candle blowing. I turned to see Jasper standing by the door, watching me.

"Jazz!"

I jumped up and sprang across the room and into his arms. He held me close for a second, lips skimming my hair, before I drew back to peer up at his face. He looked…much the same as he had before – thought the anger and bitterness had subsided, somewhat. I hugged him tight against me again, before he pulled away and turned to face Carlisle and Esme, seated together on the sofa across the room from us. His face wasn't even miserable or hopeless now – it was fearful, and full of renewed shame.

He took a slow, deep breath, bracing himself – then began to move away from me, across the room towards Carlisle.

"Carlisle, I –"

"It's all right, son," Carlisle interrupted, his face serious, but full of the same old gentle understanding and acceptance he had always harboured for us all, even when we least deserved it. "You don't need to say anything, apologize for anything, make up for anything. It's all right. Truly, it is."

Jasper shook his head dismissively, turning to Esme, who had left the sofa and was striding towards him, her face full of anxiety. "Esme, I –"

"Shh, Jasper," she interrupted, pulling him into her arms and embracing him warmly. "There is no need," she murmured in his ear. "We all understand, there's no reason for this to drag on any longer; it's done, it's over, it's in the past."

"But if you can forgive –"

"We _all _forgive you, Jasper. All of us. It's all right. Everything's ok now."

Jasper was silent for a moment, biting his lip as hugged her back with one arm, but kept tight hold of my hand. A few minutes passed before he drew back, his mouth opening to launch into another stream of apologies and self-condemnation again – but I reached up and pressed my hand over his lips, stopping him.

"Not another word, Jazz."

He glared at me over the top of my hand, but stayed quiet. I drew my hand back, slipped both my arms round him, and hugged him tightly again. His arms came round me too, and both of us were quiet for a moment. Vaguely, I heard Esme murmur to Carlisle – and both quietly left the room. Then Jasper spoke.

"Emmett and Rosalie?"

"Back in a few hours," I murmured, still refusing to let go of him.

"And…Edward?" Fear radiated from every syllable as he spoke Edward's name.

"A few hours after Rose and Em. He wants to talk…talk to all of us."

Jasper stiffened, arms suddenly ridged around me, and then drew back slowly, his teeth biting his lower lip hard, again.

"Alice….Alice what's he going to do, what's he going to say to me, what will he - ?"

"- it's ok," I interrupted. "Shh, Jazz. As far as I can see, Edward's going to go about it all very calmly."

"But what will he _say_…?"

"Nothing's clear. Yet. Everything's foggy at the moment."

Jasper grimaced; I hugged myself against him again.

"Jazz, it's all right…"

"It's not," he mumbled against my hair. "I ruined your party, Bella must be petrified of me, and no wonder; Rosalie's disgusted, Carlisle's disappointed, and Edward most likely loathes me. I don't know how you can even stand to look at me, any of you. _Nothing_ is all right, Alice."

"But it _will _be," I murmured back. "I know it will…"

…but how soon, I wasn't so sure. The future was so clouded and undecided…I had a silly, horribly bad feeling about it. I was starting to feel that when Edward made his decision, it would affect _all _of us…badly. Something was going to happen that would change everything. What, I had no idea. But it wasn't good. Wasn't good at all.

"It will be…" I repeated quietly, "…eventually."


	7. Chapter 2 STITCHES PART 5

"I'm not going to say 'I told you so'," were the first words out of Rosalie's perfect mouth, so ridiculously predictable, insensitive, and just plain cruel, that I couldn't help but aim a kick in her direction under the table. I caught Emmett instead – who kicked me right back, of course, without his calm expression so much as twitching. I hid my wince as Edward, seated across Esme's antique oak table from me, stood up.

He'd arrived back, just as I'd foreseen, at half-past two in the morning, but not having just left Bella's house. He'd been wondering again in the forest, alone for hours. I'd asked him what on earth he'd been doing in all that time, but he'd just answered 'thinking'.

Then he'd asked politely if we could all please sit down, so he could tell us something of the utmost importance.

This was bad. Very, very bad. I didn't need Jasper's talent to know that. We could all feel it. Edward's face had been chiselled from ice when he'd finally walked through the door at half-two.

But what was somehow worse was the fact that he looked…decided. Like he'd made up his mind and nothing anyone said would change it for him. What exactly he'd made his mind up about, none of us knew – the future was _still _hazy, undecided, flickering in and out like a candle flame – but I had the most awful feeling about it.

So here we all sat, side by side, round the very table we'd sat at to discuss Bella all those months ago, when Edward was agonising over whether to pursue her or not. I remembered how that conversation had ended…and crossed my fingers under the table. It was the best I could hope for.

"You don't have to say it, Rosalie," Edward murmured, then, in reply to her statement. "I know it already. I know it better than I've ever known anything in my life before."

His voice was dead. Hopeless, and empty.

But absolutely decided.

Carlisle leant across the table to Edward. "Tell us, son. Whatever you need to say, say it now. We're listening."

Edward looked slowly at each of our faces in turn – lingering on mine with a hint of question in his eyes. I shook my head ever so slightly, letting him know I still had no idea what he was about to tell us, and no idea how anyone would react.

He took a deep breath – and then spoke, directing every word at his adopted father.

"I'm leaving her, Carlisle."

Silence.

Carlisle didn't say a word. His face was calm as ever, unreadable as he gazed back at Edward – but none of us missed the look that his gold eyes flickered to Jasper and back. Esme's breath caught in her throat; audible in the dead silence.

Then Carlisle finally spoke.

"Tell us why, Edward."

Edward took a slow breath again, and then went on.

"I cannot…do this…any longer. I cannot do this to _her. _Today has woken me up, finally, to reality. To the truth of what I am doing to her. Every minute…every second I spend in her company is a risk to her life. Every touch, every kiss, brings her nearer to death. The closer I get to her, the more she becomes entwined in our world, the more time we spend with her – the closer we _all_ get to her, is a risk. I didn't realise it…didn't letmyself fully comprehend it, till today. But events like these…they aren't going to get better. At least, not soon."

His eyes flickered to Jasper; not angry, not upset…just horribly knowing.

Jasper shook his head hopelessly, slumping forward onto the table to bury his face in his hands.

"Edward, please, brother, I –"

"No, Jasper. It's all right."

"But –"

"I blame you for nothing. Truly. If anything…I am obliged to _thank _you. You've made me realise just exactly what I am doing. You've been the one to wake me up, snap me out of this fantasy, make me fully understand for the first time just how much danger we're putting her through – _I'm _putting her through…"

"Edward, I promise you, I will never, _never_ again –"

"It's not only you, Jasper. It's me, too. It's all of us. Yes, we are practised, yes, we are careful, but one slip…and it could cost her life. One cut, one drop of blood, and she would be dead before any of us could even realise it. And…" Edward swallowed, looking sick – exactly how I felt. "…and it would be my fault. Through my love for her, she would be dead. And I _cannot_ do that to her. I _cannot._"

Jasper opened his mouth to speak, but no sound came out. I touched his hand gently, but he shook it off, eyes still fixed on Edward. "You must be not thinking straight –"

"No, Jasper. No. I am," Edward interrupted again. "I'm thinking straighter than I've been thinking in a long, long time. I will _not_ put her in that danger ever again. I'm going to leave her. Let her have her normal, happy human life back again. And nothing any of you say will make me change my mind."

Silence. I watched Jasper's face, staring unbelievingly at Edward's dead one. What must he be going through now...? My poor, poor husband. I touched his hand again. He didn't respond.

I glanced round at the other members of my family; Esme, her heart-shaped face full of sadness as she gazed at Edward. Emmett, shaking his head in disbelief. Rosalie, trying to look smug – after all, she'd been proved right – but failing. Carlisle, staring expressionlessly at Edward. Edward, looking empty and dead.

"Edward...you haven't told Bella this already, have you?" Carlisle asked.

Edward flinched at the name, but hid it quickly. "No. I haven't. I thought I'd tell her tomorrow, maybe...or perhaps the day after. I need to leave as soon as possible."

Esme looked up at that. "Where are you going, Edward? Denali? Because wherever you go, we're coming with you."

"What?" Rosalie cut in, sharply. "We're going _with_ him?"

"I don't need any of you with me," Edward said, quietly. "I don't know where I'll go or what I'll do – but I can't ruin the life we've built here so soon for all of you, too."

"Nonsense," Esme said, at once. "If you're leaving, Edward, we're coming with you. But…sweetheart, don't you realize how devastated Bella will –"

"No, Esme. It's not use begging. I've made my mind up. I'm not going to change it. It's decided."

And it was only then that I really believed him. What Edward had actually said. What he was going to do. I'd been so caught up in worrying about Jasper that I hadn't fully registered it. It just hadn't hit me.

But it did now.

And I knew he really meant it this time. Why? Because the second the words were out of his mouth, the present vanished, dissipated before my very eyes, to be instantly replaced by a clear, bright vision…

"_Oh!_"

It was so sudden and sharp that I couldn't hold in my surprise. Vaguely, I registered Jasper's far away voice questioningly urgently in my ear – but it was muffled and faint. My ears were hearing Edward's voice so much louder…

"_Bella…we're leaving…"_

"…_Carlisle…barely pass for thirty…"_

"…_not coming with us…not the right place for you…"_

"…_don't want you to come with me…"_

"…_don't want you…want you…want you…"_

"_Oh…_"

"Alice? Alice, what do you see?"

My eyes flickered open to see my whole family staring at me; five pairs of identical anxious, amber-gold eyes, the colour of warm butter…all except one. Edward met my gaze blankly, his eyes dark teak…but they might as well have been colourless. I stared back in horror.

"You're really going to do it."

It wasn't a question. It was a statement.

"You're going to leave her."

Edward nodded, though he needn't have. The vision was so clear – completely, utterly, unswervingly decided. I couldn't speak. I couldn't think.

He was going to leave her. He was going to _leave Bella_…

_My best friend's face, ravaged with pain, pressed against the filthy forest floor…_

…_Charlie driving her to Doctor Gerandy's, her skin pale as death, hair thick and slimy with grease…_

…_screaming in her sleep, body twisting and writhing under sweaty covers…_

…_tears pouring, streaming endlessly down her hollow cheeks, face contorted with anguish…_

…it was going to kill her. _Kill her. _Mentally, at least…

_You can't do this,_ I thought, directing the thought at Edward's dead face. You can't. _You can't._

My brother shook his head minutely, eyes blank; and I realised where I'd seen him where that expression before. Whenever he was trying to block out someone's thoughts, someone's visions…_my _visions…

"I don't have a choice, Alice –"

_Of course you do_, _Edward!_

"I don't –"

"- Edward, you _can't!_" I hadn't realised I'd let the words burst out loud, at first.

"Yes, Alice, I can." His voice was bitter, cold as ice.

"Don't you realise what you're going to do to her?"

"She's human, Alice. She'll move on –"

"_Move on?_"

I was suddenly on my feet. "Do you have any idea – any _tiny concept_, of how much she loves you, Edward? She'd _die _for you!"

"And so she will, if I stay with her –"

"If you tell her what I've just seen you're going to tell her, she's never in a million years going to just _push it away_ and _forget_ about you! Don't you _see_ that? Don't you understand?"

He obviously didn't – or didn't want to let himself. His face was as expressionless as ever as he gazed over at me; even standing, I was still only just level with him.

"She has her whole life ahead of her. Her whole wonderful, normal, free, happy human life to find someone else, someone who'll be so much better for her –"

"Edward, you can't _possibly _believe it'll be that easy! Don't you see, she's not _going_ to 'move on' – I don't need my visions to tell me that!"

"There are other men –"

"Bella doesn't _want _other men –!"

"- she'll be able to have children –"

"- she _doesn't_ _want _to have children -!"

"- someone else –"

"She doesn't _want someone else_, Edward, she wants_ you! _She _loves you_, Edward -!"

" – Alice –"

"- _and you love her -!_"

"Alice."

The name he spoke was just as quiet as his previous reputes – but something in it made me stop. Made me bite back my next outburst. Edward's expression was indescribable as he stared silently at my livid expression; I couldn't remember the last time I'd been so angry, so worked up…

…a flood of calm, warm and soothing, washed over me from Jasper's direction. I felt my muscles relaxing, my breathing evening out, in spite of myself…

I sat down slowly, never taking my eyes from Edward's face. Jasper was right. I couldn't keep shouting…

I forced more flickering visions away to meet Edward's tortured expression. He took a slow, deep breath, closing his eyes.

I'm _not_…going to change my mind."

I opened my mouth to protest –

"- _no_, Alice. No more. Please. There is nothing, nothing you can say that will make me change my mind. _Nothing._"

And all of us knew it would be no use trying to persuade him any further.


	8. Chapter 2 STITCHES PART 6

Edward looked carefully at each of our faces in turn for a long, long moment. Then he spoke again – and his voice seemed strained, trembling, as though holding back some huge emotion.

"All of you…when I'm gone…I'm sorry to have to ask this of you, but you must promise me won't go _anywhere_ near her."

Her. Not Bella, but 'her'.

"We've done enough damage. _I've_ done enough damage."

Rosalie snorted – but the sound wasn't quite convincing. No matter how much Rosalie might dislike Bella, this was affecting all of us – Rosalie included.

"And how are we supposed to do that? In case you hadn't noticed, Edward, we all go to the _same school_ as her. Are you saying you want us to switch schools? _Again?_ We may as well just move!"

"Exactly, Rose," said Esme soothingly, touching her shoulder with one hand. She was still looking at her stone-faced son. "Edward, wherever you're going, we're coming with you. No exceptions."

"_What?_" Rosalie burst out, looking appalled. "But –!"

"Esme's right, Rosalie," Carlisle murmured quietly.

"But – but just another year and we were going to graduate –!"

"Rose," Esme said, putting an arm round her. "It's ok, sweetheart, really, it's not so bad. This is more important than school, or graduation, or anything else, you know that. This is about Bella, and –"

Rosalie yanked away from her, lips curling into a hiss.

"It's _always _about Bella!"

"Rose -!"

"_Why_ should we all have to uproot and move all over again just because of _this_?"

"Would you rather stay here and have to pull out of school?" Edward's voice was quiet and collected as Carlisle's – but as drained of emotion as ever. "Because I don't ask, Rosalie, that you uproot and begin all over again in some new region. I ask that you leave Bella to live her normal, happy human life. I ask that you never let her see or speak to you again. And the only way to do that is to either pull out of school, or move. I'm sorry."

Rosalie gave him her most venomous glare. Then, meaningfully, she directed the same expression at Jasper. I hissed quietly, slipping my arm tightly through his – she would _not_ take this out on him!

"Alice," Jasper murmured gently. "It's ok, don't –"

"- it's decided then," Carlisle cut in, deflecting the situation before it could really get started. "We leave. All of us, together. And as soon as possible."

He looked to Edward for confirmation.

"Thank you, Carlisle." Edward said. "Thank you all of you."

His voice shook slightly, his grateful half-smile pained. "I…I want to tell her as soon as possible. When would be the soonest we can leave?"

Carlisle looked to me at once.

"Alice?"

I looked away from Edward for the first time since my outburst, meeting Carlisle's questioning gaze. "Alice, can you see anything?"

I shook my head.

"No. I'm sorry. Everything's still blurry, it's not decided, _we're _not decided…but Edward…"

I withdrew into the vision of him and Bella together in the forest for a second, before opening my eyes again. "Edward's going to tell her. Soon. It's only a matter of time…"

Carlisle nodded, understanding, and then glanced down at his watch. He sighed once, then turned to Esme, his face weary.

"Esme, love, when it's a decent time could you ring up Forks High School, please, and explain to them that I've been offered a very well-paid job in Ithaca? Sudden, unexpected, and simply too good to refuse."

"And that we'll be leaving in two days. _All_ of us – except me. I have some things to attend to before going," Edward added, firmly. "So I will be the only one at school today."

Esme nodded again. "You'll tell the hospital?"

"As soon as it's a reasonable time to drive down there, yes. I'll collect the stuff from my office, too."

He turned me. "Alice, can you look up housing and schools? Colleges, too, maybe. We'll do ages and relationships later on."

I nodded. "Jazz will help me."

Jasper squeezed my hand gratefully.

"I'll do moving vans," Rosalie spoke up. "Travel arrangements."

"Job for you," Emmett said, nodding at Carlisle. "Hospitals. And I'll see about the wildlife around there too."

"Good," nodded Carlisle…but his tone said everything but. "That's…that's all decided, then."

There was a long moment of silence as all of us contemplated what had to be done in such a short space of time. Visions were playing at the edge of my sight, but I forced them down. I would let them through later on, and see what was coming for us.

Edward stood up, his chair scraping against the floor with chainsaw-like sound in the dead silence of the room. All of us jumped.

"I'd help you all," he muttered, "but there's something I have to do first."

He pushed his chair back into place and stepped back, gazing around at all of us.

"Thank you. All of you." His voice was shaking again. "Thank you for everything."

He left before any of us could reply.


	9. Chapter 3 THE END PART 1

The next day or so was turmoil.

Everyone had something to do, and no where near enough time to do it in. Even with our years – decades – _centuries_, in Carlisle's case – of experience at this, we'd never had to move so quickly before. There'd been a time way back in nineteen-seventy-three, when Emmett had slipped up. And that time when a particularly – almost frighteningly – perceptive student at St. Margaret's College in nineteen-ninety-eight had asked one question too much about our none-existent eating habits and strange eyes…but our leaving town back in those times had been a precaution. A just-in-case move. Nothing like this.

This was an absolute necessity. Almost an emergency.

Jasper, never leaving my side for a second as we packed boxes and shifted furniture together, was beyond miserable. My heart sank right down to my feet just about every time I looked at him; took in his bleak, desolate eyes, his instantly rigid, frozen posture whenever a human came so much as a _mile _close to the house…

None of us felt anything like cheerful – but Jasper was by far feeling the worst about Edward's decision. I knew, of course, that this was almost entirely because he blamed himself for it.

"Jazz, you _can't _take this all out on yourself," I'd murmured to him as we'd flicked through schools and colleges on Carlisle's shiny, sleek, silver laptop. We were alone together in the house – Rosalie off charming some moving company to supply their service at such short notice, Edward at school, Carlisle at the hospital, and Esme and Emmett off hunting.

Jasper shook his head listlessly at my determined expression, dark molten-gold eyes not meeting mine.

"Stop this, Alice, darlin', please. It's all right, I can accept what I've done, you don't have to worry about me."

"But Jazz _–_!"  
"Stop, Alice. Please, love. Stop. I'm fine. I'm absolutely fine."

He wasn't, though. And I didn't stop. I spent the all of the time we were alone together trying to cheer him up, make him look at me, smile at me, _say _something to me. But he wouldn't. He knew it was his slip up that had triggered Edward's decision – and he felt beyond terrible for it.

The next day dawned rainy – no surprises there – and grey, and I caught up with Edward just as he was leaving for school. He'd left early the previous morning, and he was doing so again now – only not too early for me to miss catching him, this time. It was the first time we'd spoken since the conversation that was changing everything.

"Hey…Edward? Can you bring Bella here, just for a moment today, so I can say goodbye to her?"

"No."

The answer was immediate and sharp.

"Oh. Ok…can I go over to her place, then? Or we could go shopping, even – we never did get round to it, and I'm sure Bella would –!"

"No."

_Why, Edward? _I questioned silently, but he didn't answer, didn't even look at me; his now midnight-black eyes fixed on the strap of his schoolbag he was loosening with long, pale fingers.

"I'll go through her bedroom window, I promise, so Charlie won't –"

"I don't want you seeing her, Alice. I don't want any of us seeing her. It'll be easier, that way, for everyone. A clean break."

His voice was a monotone; a robot's low, dead murmur.

I stared at him wordlessly, unable to speak. Then…

"…but…Edward, why? _Why?_"

"It's better for Bella," he said simply.

I couldn't speak. _Bella_, I couldn't only think blankly, _Bella. My friend. My best friend. My _only_ friend. _

And I was never going to see her again.

"No…Edward, I can't just leave her, I have to say goodbye -!"

"I'm sorry, Alice. You can't."

"Edward, please! Please!"

"What's going on?" Jasper was suddenly behind me, his gentle hands secure on my shoulders. "Alice, what's wrong?"

"She wants to see Bella to say goodbye before you all leave later today."

Jasper's hands moved to pull me close beside him, frowning at Edward.

"And why can't she?" he demanded.

"I won't allow it. You know what Bella's like, it will only distress her further. I can't make this any more difficult for her."

"She's my _best friend_, Edward!"

"She isn't, Alice. Not anymore."

I didn't know what to say to that. Edward nodded once, dead face showing no emotion whatsoever, and hooked his schoolbag over his shoulder. He was out of the door before I could say anything more.

I felt the smallest, silliest of sobs starting to build in my throat. I forced it back – I couldn't cry now, we still had so much to do before leaving! We'd planned to set off at the very soonest possible moment – that was why I wanted to see Bella before school, this was my last chance…_had been_ my last chance. Now I had lost it. I would never see her again.

I choked back a sob, pressing a hand to my mouth to try and disguise it – but I could never hide anything from Jasper. His arms were around me in seconds, crushing me against his chest and I felt his lips move against my hair as he spoke strings of sentences that I only vaguely heard.

"….Alice, Alice, Alice…so, so sorry, Alice, I'm sorry…my fault….don't cry, love, please, I'm sorry…I'm sorry….."

I hugged myself against him as tight as I could, forcing back more avalanching dry-tears. Every time I let so much as a sound go, Jasper's arms tightened. He pulled me down onto the dusty bare floor and into his lap – our sofas were all long gone. I buried my face in his shoulder.

"Jazz…" I mumbled against his shirt. "_Stop_ apologizing….I'm being silly…Edward's right, it's best for her…best for Bella …"

"Shh…" Jasper murmured, his fingers combing silky-smooth through my hair. Gentle waves of contentment flooded over me, into me, helping to keep the lump down in my throat.

"Thanks," I whispered quietly to him, closing my eyes.

We both were silent for several minutes. Jasper held me till I was completely calm again. More minutes past – and then I heard the faint, far-away sounds of running footsteps, the whoosh of air as someone made the jump over the river…returning from their hunt.

"Esme and Emmett," I murmured, quietly.

Jasper nodded, and drew back, cupping my face in both his big hands. He stared at me intently, eyes scanning every feature, a frown creasing his forehead.

"I'm _fine_, Jazz," I said firmly, determinedly, not needing words to tell what he was thinking.

He caressed my cheek softly with the back of one finger. "Are you sure?"

I nodded slowly. "Sure."

He bent towards me, and brushed the lightest, gentlest of kisses to my lips. When he drew back, his eyes were minutely less troubled; almost peaceful.

"All right, then," he conceded, very quietly,

"I love you," I mouthed, so Esme wouldn't hear.

Jasper shook his head slowly, incredulously. "Sixty years of hearing those words. I still don't deserve them…now less than ever. But I love you, too. More than anything."

* * *

**In New Moon, Edward mentions that Alice wanted to say goodbye to Bella, but he refused to let her. So this got me thinking, and I wrote this. Just thought I'd tell you do so it doesn't seem completely random...**


	10. Chapter 3 THE END PART 2

I turned in my seat and watched the house disappear as Rosalie's convertible rounded the corner, and purred smoothly out of the driveway of our home.

Except it wasn't our home. Not anymore.

It was just another house, another abandoned shell where we'd lived another lie. Another expertly constructed charade of normalcy. Now…it was no longer our home.

The windows were dark, the steps leading up to the front door bare of my carefully arranged flowerpots. The cars that usually sat in the driveway were now the ones we were gliding along in – all except Edward's Volvo.

We'd left our home in Forks behind. We were beginning a new one in Ithaca.

Jasper sat beside me, one hand on mine, the other on the steering wheel of Rosalie's convertible. Carlisle and Esme were in front of us, driving the Mercedes. Emmett and Rosalie followed along behind, both in Emmett's giant of a jeep.

I looked away from Jasper, out of my window, pretending to be watching the emerald green forest fly by. But I wasn't seeing the trees and bushes and grass, or anything else. I was seeing…seeing…

…_seeing Edward bending to kiss Bella's forehead, his quiet "Take care of yourself"…_

…_his unnaturally fast movements as he vanished into the trees…_

…_Bella standing, motionless, staring unseeingly at the spot he'd been talking to her just seconds ago…_

_Edward arriving back at our house, climbing into his car, setting off…_

…the trees whizzed past me, morphing into roads and cars and endless expanses of concrete as we headed out of town…

…_Bella walking, walking, walking, through the night, through the forest, her face blank, her every movement listless…_

…_the days going by…Bella's zombie-like face…moving through her classrooms at school…eating dinner with Charlie, face gaunt from exhaustion…lying in bed, clutching her chest, sobbing uncontrollably…_

I swallowed back the lump in my own throat, forcing myself to keep staring straight out of that grey, rain-splattered car window. I could feel Jasper's eyes on me. _Stop it, Alice. Stop it. Get a grip, now, come on. For Jasper's sake. For Edward's…_

I told him so.

_I told him so. _

* * *

Our new house was tall and coloured light grey, with large windows and an even larger garden. It was simple, neat. Older than our other house, but just as bright – though somehow, the brightness didn't seem quite real. It was like a mock imitation, a half light, a shadow of how glowing and happy our old house had been – almost artificial. I knew even before we got out the car, that this house was going to play host to a very different family from the one that had lived so contentedly in Forks, Washington.

I scrambled out of the car, slipped a hand through Jasper's, and pulled him gently up the driveway, towards the house. Carlisle and Esme were already climbing the steps to the stained-glass framed front door, bags in hand, and I heard Emmett and Rosalie climb out of the jeep behind us, murmuring quietly to one another.

We reached the porch just as Carlisle unlocked the door, and pushed it open. He and Esme glanced at each other for a second; both exchanging identical familiar, sad smiles, and then stepped inside the house, Jasper and I following.

Inside, everything seemed…slightly surreal. The furniture was just the same as always, our unusual mixture of old and new, past and present, American modern with ancient Italian, Esme's antiques mixed with Emmett's state of the art electronics…

Rosalie had managed to sweet talk another company of movers into set the furniture straight for when we arrived – but everything looked…wrong. Like we'd got the wrong house. Like our furniture didn't belong here at all. Like _we _didn't belong here at all.

I moved over towards one corner to get a look from another angle. It was just the same. Unreal, almost dreamlike…

I heard Emmett and Rosalie come in behind me, their murmuring voices going quiet. The silence in the room was almost stifling.

Then Carlisle turned round to face us.

"Well…here we are. I assume the movers got the furniture done for us, Rosalie?"

Rose nodded. But I was certain it wasn't because of the movers that this house looked and felt so…unreal. In fact, I was certain even if _I'd_ gone round the place setting everything straight it wouldn't feel any different.

"…well…"

Carlisle looked unsure what to say next. He gestured wordlessly round the room.

"I suppose we could look round it a bit more. See our bedrooms."

Emmett's face perked up the minutest bit.

Carlisle smiled small, strained smile, and then headed towards the stairs, Esme tucked under his arm. Rosalie murmured something to Emmett. He looked slightly disappointed as Rosalie pulled him towards the kitchen.

I closed my eyes…

_Esme and Carlisle, sitting on their bed; talking, talking, talking…Emmett and Rosalie, going through all the downstairs rooms till Emmett insisted on going upstairs...Jasper and I, vague and fuzzy, undecided…_

"Alice?"

I snapped my eyes open to meet my husband's.

"Sorry," I mumbled. "Got caught up."

I glanced once again around the room, thinking.

"Can you see it?" I asked, quietly. "It's so odd…this place feels like a dream…like one of my less clear visions…"

Jasper looked down at his feet and nodded numbly. "Yes. I see it. Feel it too – you're all…out of place. Almost…confused. Lost. It's an odd feeling." He sighed softly. "Shall we have a look round the rest of the house, then?"

I doubted any of it would look or feel any better than this room – but I supposed it was worth a try.

"Yes," I nodded, squeezing his hand once, and then heading towards the stairs. "Come on. Maybe the upstairs will be better."

But I wasn't going to get my hopes up.

* * *

The house was clean and simple; cream carpet and off-white walls, our furniture arranged neatly, and cardboard boxes of items stacked tidily in each room. Everywhere was still and quiet as a tomb.

I entered Jasper's and my room to find it stacked to the ceiling with boxes – mostly, I suspected, full of mybeloved clothes. For once, this thought didn't cheer me. Usually I'd be bouncing around the house arranging everyone's wardrobes and fiddling with almost every single item the movers had arranged, making it was all the way I wanted it, all colour-coordinated and matching flawlessly. But today…I just wasn't in the mood.

Nevertheless, it had to be done, and as Esme had said, we might as well make a start before Edward arrives.

So I opened box after box, and Jasper helped me fold my many clothes and put them carefully away in wardrobes. Out of pure routine I did the same with the rest of my family's clothes – but there was none of my usual enthusiasm in the action. It was just what I'd always done; habitual.

Jasper barely left my side for the whole night, finding excuses to fetch and carry things for only me. Esme and Carlisle worked on downstairs, whilst Rose ordered Emmett around, trying to act as much like her normal self as possible – but we could all hear the catch in her voice as she snapped and argued with her husband, and the tremulous, worried edge to her tone as she discussed where to hang our many paintings with Carlisle.

Even Rosalie, in spite of all her anger, was dreading what Edward would be like when he returned.


	11. Chapter 3 THE END PART 3

When all of us had finished our various unpacking and sorting tasks, Carlisle called us all to sit at our newly arranged dining table, looking entirely out of place in the dark, cramped cellar-of-a-room Rosalie insisted was supposed to be the kitchen.

"Ages and relationships," was our adopted father's first words. "I'm sure news will be spreading about us joining the community – we need to sort this now, before the questions start."

"And what about….about…Edward?" Rosalie asked, without looking at any of us. Emmett had his long, muscular arm round her, both of them sitting close together – though not nearly as close as I was next to Jasper, half on my chair, half on his lap, our arms entwined around the other.

"We can sort him out when he returns…"

…_Edward pacing, a silent pale shadow across the forest floor, handfuls of leaves kicked up under his feet…reaching for the handle of our front door…_

"…he should be home soon – about half an hour," I murmured, half to myself, half in response to Carlisle, who nodded.

"Thank you, Alice."

He took a slow, deep breath; bracing himself to go through the same age-old routine.

"All right, well…do any of you have preferences on ages?"

"I want to be older," said Rosalie at once. "Twenty-two, twenty-three – some age Emmett and I can be married, and still walk into a room without everyone staring their stupid eyes out. Some age normal. Human."

I sighed quietly to myself. Of course…that would be Rosalie's only request. To as normal – as human – as possible. Or at least, appear to be. _Poor Rose._

Emmett squeezed her shoulders. "Totally agree."

"All right," said Carlisle. "How about…nineteen, then, for the both of you?"

"Too young," Rosalie shook her head, frowning. "Humans don't get married at anything like that age, these days. You know that_._"

"Twenty? We really can't go too old Rose, this needs to last a good few years..."

My heart sank. A good few_ years…_we were really going to be here that long?

Rosalie's perfect thin eyebrows knitted together again – she was obviously still doubtful as to whether this was too old for an average human couple. But after a few seconds, she sighed deeply, and nodded. "All right, then. If we must. Twenty."

"Awesome, first real age since '87!" Emmett muttered to himself, shooting me a half-grin over Rosalie's mop of dazzling golden hair. I tried to return it as best I could.

"That's sorted then," Carlisle said, sounding relieved, and turned in his seat to face me and Jazz. "Alice? Jasper?"

"Married," Jasper requested, before I could speak. "I don't mind what age. Alice?" His thumb stroked my cheek once, from behind; the side closest to him, so the others couldn't see. "What would you like?"

"Oh, I don't mind," I shrugged. "Maybe the same as Emmett and Rose? It'll be easier to remember."

Both Jasper and Carlisle nodded in unison.

"Let's go with the usual, dear," murmured Esme, to Carlisle.

"All right," he continued on. "But only if we can find a believable enough reason behind two young couples living in the same house as an older one, then…"

Silence fell as we all considered this, each trying to come up with an explanation. I scanned the future lightly, searching for options…

"We're close friends and horrendously poor so we banned together to pay for our education at the adult college and accommodation, despite our ages?" suggested Emmett.

"_Yes_, Emmett," Rosalie sighed, exasperatedly. "And that's why we all have flashy giant Jeeps and red Convertibles – and thanks to Alice, enough slinky designer clothes to dress an army…"  
"Aw, yeah, sorry, I forgot…"

"Students," Jasper spoke up, suddenly. Everyone turned to look at him – making him shift in his seat, instantly uncomfortable with the attention. He spoke slowly, half-mumbling, as though only talking because he had to.

"Emmett, Rose, me, and Alice are friendly couples who knew each other from high school and moved here to study at that Cornell place. Those of us that want to can get a place at Cornell, and those who don't can pretend they are following a course from home. Carlisle and Esme are older and friends' of our families – they agreed to let us all stay at their house so we would be near Cornell. They can take older ages, and Carlisle…you could get a job."

Everyone contemplated this for a second, while Jasper continued to fidget; still uncomfortable. I twined his hand with mine under the table, squeezing it reassuringly.

"That's a brilliant idea," I said, smiling – and it was.

"Friendly high school couples living for convenience in a place friends of their families own," Carlisle repeated – and he too smiled. "Well done, Jasper. But wait, what about Edward…?"

"He's your son," Jasper interrupted quietly. "A high school friend of ours."

"Perfect, Jasper, well done," said Esme fervently, leaning forward in her seat to smile across the table as at him – though worry was still tight and restrained in her amber eyes. Jasper looked away, down at our now entwined hands, not meeting her gaze.

"That's sorted then," said Carlisle. He hesitated, and then glanced down at his watch. "Half an hour, you said, Alice? In that case…Edward should be here any minute," he murmured. "But in the meantime, who is interested in studying at Cornell? In their adult education section, that would have to be..."

"I am," said Jasper, at once, without looking up.

"In too," said Emmett.

"And me," said Rosalie. "I'll look up the website so we can take a look at courses."

"And I'll see about a job there for me," Carlisle said. "I'm sure I could find something. Alice? What about you…?"

..._about you…_

…_about…_

…_you…_

…_Edward, eyes warped with pain, feet tapping loud and uneven on the wood of the floor as he stumbled through the front door…_

"…Alice…?"

…_across the room, pushing away our outstretched arms…_

"...Alice, what do you see…?"

"He's coming," I heard my voice whisper, and then again, struck this time with fear. "He's coming, Edward's coming, he's coming…!"

I battled the future away, stomach contorting into panicked knots as I focussed again on the stricken faces of my family – Esme's most of all.

Jasper's arms were suddenly tighter than ever around me, hands clutching both of mine. I wished I could twist round to see his face, comfort him, reassure him – but he held me tight.

"Jazz, it's ok, it's going to be all right," I said quickly, nestling closer to him, craning to look over my shoulder and try to meet his gaze. "Edward's going to be fine, I promise, I've seen it…"

"It's not that," Jasper whispered, voice quiet with dread. "It's his _emotions _I'm scared of – didn't you see his face when he came to tell us what he was going to do? He hadn't even spoken to her yet, but _now_…"

_Bang. _

The sound of a car door slamming made us all jump. Everyone fell instantly silent.

We all held our breath as Edward's footsteps tapped oddly unevenly up the driveway, before the door finally swung open, and my brother half-stumbled into the room.

"Oh _Edward_…"

Esme was out of her seat and across the room in less than a second, her arms open towards him – but he pushed her away, shaking his head…

"Don't, Esme, please, leave me alone, _don't_…"

His voice was cracked and shaking, the voice of a person struggling to contain himself, to keep from losing it completely…

…and he looked just _awful. _I felt my mouth fall open in horror as I toppled off Jasper's lap and across the room towards him; his face was like the inside of a grave torn open, a corpse's eyes, expression dead, dead, _dead_…but although it was dead, it was oddly twisted, too, twisted in a kind of mad pain and loss I'd never seen any person suffer before. The only person I could imagine looking worse, _impossibly _worse was myself…if Jasper ever even thought to leave me.

Except if he had, I would most likely have killed myself already.

Edward looked like a man who had died long ago, died in agony – or rather, his whole reason for living, existing, wanting, feeling, had died, leaving a walking corpse, am empty mind. Like his life was gone. Like his _soul_ was gone.

All of us were out of our seats now, Jasper close behind me as I reached towards my brother – but he had already battled himself away from Esme's attempts to hug him, from Emmett, from Rosalie, turning towards the stairs, and ploughing his way towards them, shoving away our flurries of frantic words…

"Nothing – Esme, all of you, stop it, _stop_…!"

"Edward –" I heard Carlisle murmur softly, hopelessly.

"Stop it, I don't need it, stop it!" Edward half-shouted, his voice breaking, cracking, trying to push past Esme who blocked his pathway to the stairs.

"_Edward_…" I heard myself saying, Rosalie echoing my words close behind me.

"_No, _Esme I _mean it!_"

The words were a half-shout, a half-cry of terrible pain.

Edward turned from the stairs, and made a bolt for the front door, dodging Jasper's attempt to begin at apologizing…

"Edward –!"

"I'm going hunting. Don't follow me, any of you, please. I'll be back before morning."

His voice broke on the last word. He flung open the door again and was out and away into the black night before any of us could move.

"Edward, wait, _wait!_" Esme called in desperation, making as if to run after him – but Carlisle caught her shoulders from behind, restraining her gently but firmly.

All six of us stood in screaming silence, staring blank-faced at the open door where Edward had vanished.

Then Esme's face crumpled. She turned round, burying her face in Carlisle's chest, and he held her tightly to him.

"Esme, love, don't cry, it's all right, it's ok…"

He pulled her gently to the stairs, disappearing up them with her, his voice and Esme's beginning sobs becoming fainter. I heard Rosalie mumble to Emmett in a shaky whisper.

"Let's go."

They both headed off upstairs too – but I knew from both their expressions and words that they would not be up to their usual activities tonight. Yet, at least. Both of them vanished from sight.

Slowly, I turned round to face the dining table – and Jasper.

He stood dead still, bleak horror on his face, staring at the gently swinging open door where Edward had disappeared into the night.

He turned his hopeless eyes to meet mine, and spoke in barely more than a whisper.

"What have I done, Alice? _What have I done?_"


	12. Chapter 4 OCTOBER

Edward didn't come back till late next morning.

When he returned, the madness was gone from his eyes. He simply looked like a zombie again. A dead man walking.

He'd allowed Esme to hug him and murmur her love and concern briefly, and let Carlisle say a few words. But then he disappeared up into his new bedroom I had organized for him – and locked the door. The gesture was useless, of course, but the intent was clear.

None of us disturbed him after that.

That day was spent mostly in silence. Carlisle read, job-hunted, and helped Esme get the kitchen into working order. Emmett and Rosalie sat flicking through channels on the television – though all of us knew they weren't really seeing any of the figures on the screen.

Jasper and I drifted around the house, joining Esme and Carlisle occasionally to read or watch TV on the sofa with our other siblings, or curl together on our bed and read. Jasper was lost in his own misery, talking very little. I missed that, missed our usually effortless conversation. Missed it so much. But Jasper wanted to be quiet, to think, to not talk…and if that was what he wanted, it was what I wanted too. I would wait for him to be ready.

He never let go of my hand once, all day long.

So I sat by his side, kissed his unresponsive lips, or sometimes just sat, watching him. And…well…I sort of watched Bella, too.

Edward didn't come out of his bedroom till late evening – and even then it was only to pass through. He was going hunting. Again.

He wouldn't answer anyone except Carlisle's question on where he was going, and when Jasper tried to approach him, he dashed out the door before he'd taken two steps.

That night was much the same as last night. So I let myself slip into my once-best-friend's future, and again, whilst curled in Jasper's arms, watched Bella.

She was acting much the same as Edward. The doctors of Forks Hospital were buzzing with diagnoses and medicines, and Charlie was desperate – but none of them could do a thing to help her. She was as dead as my poor brother.

The week continued in much the same way. Edward came out from his room on alternate occasions; allowed Esme to hug him, and then set off into the forest, saying he needed to 'think'. Jasper talked a little to me every day – but his tone was often so miserable I could sometimes hardly bare to listen to it. He was lost in his world of regret, and I couldn't draw him out of it.

So I watched Bella.

Towards the end of the week, Charlie made the decision to send her back to Phoenix with her mother – and Bella woke with a vengeance. She screamed and shouted and threw her un-packed clothes everywhere, and then finally started crying. My heart pounded endlessly for her as she sobbed for hours on end. But there was nothing I could do.

She cried for what felt like an eternity of misery to me. When she finally stopped, I had a tiny, miniscule shred of hope that that might be it – maybe she would now have a little light in her eyes again, a little life in her again – but her eyes just glazed over again, and she sank back into her zombie-like state, becoming as empty as ever before.

Edward was missing from her life, and she was missing from Edward's. Both had lost their souls, their life, along with the loss of each other. And there was nothing I could do to help either of them.

I knew that it was a very bad idea, really, to watch her future like I was doing so often. Before we'd left for Ithaca, Edward had talked to us all and made us promise that no matter what happened, even if Bella came looking for us in Ithaca, we would never, ever go anywhere near her again. All of us had promised fervently – me included. But…defining 'going near Bella' was different when it came to me and my visions, wasn't it? And would watching Bella's _future_ count as 'going near her'?

Deep down, I knew the answer to that one. This was _not_ something good to keep up – but I was careful with my thoughts, and Edward was home so rarely anyway. Emmett told us all he'd tracked Edward's scent out of his bedroom window and out into the forest – it seemed the time Edward spent in his room was really even _more_ time wandering the trees, alone.

That evening, just hours after Bella had lost her control, I had another vision.

_Edward, sitting down on a log, deep in the trees. His face blank and dead – but there was some emotion, trapped inside him, trapped behind the façade; building, growing, and his arms were shaking and his breathing fast and suddenly the feeling seemed to overpower him completely and he screamed out loud, long and piecing and full of agony. It was a scream of the most terrible loss. And a scream that was exactly, undeniably identical to Bella's._

* * *

Then one day, about three weeks later, when nothing whatsoever had changed, Emmett spoke up whilst Rosalie was hunting.

"Carlisle, I've got something to ask you."

Carlisle looked up from his book. Esme, who'd been reading a magazine about renovating Victorian buildings, looked up; as did Jasper from his philosophy volume I knew he was only half-concentrating on. I glanced over from where I was sitting beside Jasper, fashion magazine in hand.

"What is it, Emmett?" Carlisle asked.

Emmett looked more serious than I'd seen him in years. "Rosalie and I….Rose…she needs a break. Well – ok, guess we all do – but I hate seeing her like this and all she wants now is to get away. I want to ask if we could take…kind of a second honeymoon, to Europe. I know it's what she wants, and I think it would be good for us. If it's cool with you."

They wanted to leave? _Now? _Of all the things I'd been expecting, this definitely wasn't one of them. Poor Emmett; he'd obviously spent hours thinking up this pronouncement. It was the slowest speech I'd ever heard him make.

Carlisle sighed softly, passing a hand over his face, his eyes closing.

"How long for, Emmett?"

"Well….Rose wanted sort of enough time for things to settle down a bit…maybe, two months?"

I felt Jasper slump beside me in miserable resignation. _Two months…_that was a very, very long time. But something told me it wouldn't be long enough at all for things to 'settle down'. Now I came to think of it, I couldn't imagine a time period long enough for that…

"An extended honeymoon. A holiday."

"Yeah. But only if it's cool with you, Carlisle."

Carlisle sighed again, but in acceptance. "Then you and Rosalie take your honeymoon to Europe. We'll call you if...when…things settle down."

Emmett smiled; a small, sad smile of relief. "Thanks, Carlisle. Rose'll be so pleased."

"When do you want to set off?"

"Is…tonight too soon?"

"Tonight is fine."

Esme was looking close to tears again. She got up and almost fell across the room towards her adopted son.

"Oh Emmett…"

"It's ok, Mom," Emmett said, standing up to hug her gently. "It's a holiday, just till things get going again, you know? Rose wants a break."

"I know," Esme murmured against Emmett's shoulder. "Just a break. But _now..._oh Em…I'll miss you two so much…"

"Alice, can we go?" Jasper said suddenly in as strained voice, as though unable to stop himself. "_Please_."

Of course – I couldn't believe I'd forgotten. The emotions would be torturing him. I nodded at once. Jasper pulled me from the stairs, down them, and across the living room to the front door.

"We'll be back later," he called over his shoulder to our family, shutting the door firmly and then beginning to run towards the forest.

When we'd reached deep into the trees, slowed, and eventually stopped, moving to sit on our familiar fallen log. Jazz sank down onto it and leant heavily against the trunk, closing his eyes. I slipped my arms round his shoulders and leant against him, trying to convey all my compassion and love through to him as forcefully as I could. There was no need for me to sit – I was so ridiculously short we really weren't that far apart in height as he sat on the large log. One of his hands moving up to stroke my hair, the other rubbing the small of my back.

"It must be awful," I murmured. "For you to feel all of this, all of our emotions…I can't imagine…"

"I deserve it," he muttered. Then his tone turned suddenly harsh. "No, I deserve much more than this – but it'll do for now."

I tightened my arms round him, nestling my face on top of his beautiful hair.

"Stop it," I mumbled.

"Stop what?" he said bitterly. "Telling the truth? Stating the obvious?"

"You know what, Jazz."

He shook his head, insistent…but I didn't contradict him further. Something told me this argument was one that wouldn't be resolved for a long time – and arguing with Jasper wasn't going to help anything. How long it would last, I had no idea.

_A long time_. _A long time._

* * *

Emmett and Rosalie left that evening. Edward was out, as usual, which I thought was probably for the best. Rosalie was ashamed – we could all see it. She couldn't keep up her prickly exterior any longer – so it was a subdued couple that left in Emmett's jeep at half-past seven.

Jasper and I stayed downstairs on the sofa, that night. I curled up on his lap and as Jasper wasn't in a talking mood, we read. I was perfectly content to read whatever he wanted to – which turned out to be more philosophy – and even if I wasn't, I simply watched Bella yet again.

Worry for my friend was gathering in a tight, coiling, colossal knot inside me – almost as tight as the knot that was for Edward. She was no longer the happy, laughing, stubborn old Bella who I'd seen and loved so many times in visions before. She wasn't the shy human girl who had been preparing to protest constantly about my graduation party plans for next year, or who'd sat and chatted with me at lunch every day at school, or who'd been going to have so many proper, real sleepovers with me. _All the things we'd been going to do together…_

I hadn't even had a chance to take hershopping.

A few days later though, when we were perched out on our bedroom balcony railings together, Jasper spoke up.

"Who are you watching all this time, Alice?" he murmured softly against my ear, so the rest of the family wouldn't hear. I bit my lip. I didn't want to lie to him.

"It's nothing, really…"

"Tell me, please. You're so far away all the time, and so worried…I can feel it."

I shifted uncomfortably.

"Bella," I said, in a small voice. "I'm watching Bella."

"Alice –" he said disapprovingly.

"I can't help it, Jazz. I can't abandon _her_ future…"

"Edward will be furious if he finds out," Jasper murmured, worry rising in his voice. "Alice, love, please, just let her go -"

"I can't."

"Please, darlin'-"

"No," I said stubbornly.

"He'll find out," he murmured. "He'll find out and he'll be angry, Alice…"

I fidgeted. "He can't tell me what I can and can't see…"

Jasper pushed his book away and cupped my face in his hands, turning me round to look at him.

"Please, Alice. You know how I get – I don't want him angry at you. Just…let her go. Please?"

I sighed. He made it sound so simple.

"I _can't _stop the important ones, Jazz. Any big changes and I'm going to see it, I know I will. It's like…like I've got a list of channels inside my head, and when an interesting programme comes on it just _starts _and I can't press the stop button. And Bella's one of my favourite channels. Anyway…do you really think he's going to shout at me with the state he's in now? I won't let him find out. I'm _good_ at keeping my thoughts in check."

Jasper frowned, biting his lip; not satisfied.

I leant forward and kissed him gently, tenderly, lips moulding against his as always; twining my arms around his neck.

"Stop…distracting…not going to work…" he mumbled against my lips, but there was a hint of a smile in his tone.

"Stop worrying, then. Please, Jazz. It's ok."

His arms came around me, drawing me against him.

"I should be the one worrying about you," I mumbled against the fabric of his shirt.

"Don't," he murmured in my ear. He sighed deeply, and his sweet breath tickled my ear. "What we _all _should be worrying about is Edward."

* * *

Another week passed.

Carlisle went out one morning and drove down to Cornell University to apply for a job in the medical department. So far, none of our nosy neighbours knew exactly how many Cullens lived in the new house – only Esme and Carlisle had answered the knocks at the door, and always somehow found an excuse not to let them in the house. Even I didn't feel in an entertaining mood.

I never told Jasper…but if truth be told, there _was _something I was in the mood for.

Something I'd really wanted to do since April, all those months back – I just hadn't had time to think about it much. But I didn't want to go to Cornell and gain another degree in fashion design or art or history with Jasper.

I wanted to track down my _own_ history – find out about the life I had no memory of, find my family, find my asylum – find it all! All I knew about myself was…well, next to nothing. Only what James had said on that video. Which hadn't been much. I'd had so many millions of questions it would have taken hours to name them all.

But Jasper needed me at the moment. He never left my side, never went anywhere without me, never unclasped his hand from mine…

Jasper needed me, now. I would have time for my research later.

* * *

Towards the middle of October, Carlisle got a job at Cornell.

"It's nothing that big - Department of Microbiology and Immunology – but it's something, and it seems a great place to work; very open, friendly, professional. You'd like it," he added, nodding in my and Jasper's direction.

"I don't really feel like going to Cornell just yet, Carlisle," Jasper replied quietly. "But…did Rosalie ever find that website?"

"She saved the link on my laptop," he replied, nodding. "Take a look at it. They do all sorts there."

"And you tell us if you'd like to apply for anything, anytime you want," Esme said fervently, touching Jasper's shoulder from her spot on the sofa next to him, me on his other side. "Ok, Jasper?"

Jasper gave her a small, grateful half-smile in reply.

"Thanks, Mum," he murmured. Esme smiled widely. We all knew she loved it when we called her 'mum'.

"Alice?" Carlisle said, turning in his armchair away from his desk to face me. "What about you? Would you like to study something at Cornell too, with Jasper?"

I bit my lip. Jasper was looking hopeful – though he was trying not to show it, he would badly want me with him at the university. But I didn't want to study at Cornell – I wanted to study here…on _me._

"Actually…" I began slowly. "I…I'd prefer to do some…um…personal research."

Jasper's face fell for a moment – then concern flooded it. He shifted closer to me, slipping an arm around my shoulders. Carlisle was nodding seriously.

"You want to find out more about your own history?"

"Yes," I said quietly. "As much as I can."

I glanced at Jasper's trying-to-hide-it disappointed face, and guilt flooded me. Maybe I _would_ go to college after all, just so he'd still have me by his side. I could just study the same thing as him…I'd talk to him later, I decided.

"You tell us then, Jasper, if you change your mind," Carlisle said. "And I'll be starting at Cornell next week."

* * *

"_Alice?"_

I jumped violently.

"What…what?" I mumbled in confusion, jerking out of my vision. "Huh?"

I glanced round the room for whoever had called my name – and then my eyes met Edward's.

_Oh._

I'd been watching Bella do her homework. And Edward had seen.

He paced slowly towards me, his expression indescribable. It wasn't anger – because his empty face was too dead to show such a strong emotion – but the emotion was all_ inside_ of him again; trapped, silent, unable to come out. He stopped in front of me, bearing down on the armchair Jasper and I sat curled up together on. Jasper drew me impossibly closer to him.

"Edward –"

"I'm not going to say anything to you but this, Alice," Edward said quietly, his voice cracked and awful to listen to, interrupting Jasper. I waited, shame pooling in my stomach. Up close like his, I started to wonder whether I'd ever truly grasped just how much pain he was in. His grave-like eyes stared down into mine as he spoke.

"Stay_ away _from her, Alice. Don't go looking for her future either. We've done enough damage. Any more you hang on to her won't help anything. _Leave her alone_. And leave her future, too. _Promise me_."

I stared shamefully at my hands clasped in my lap, unable to look at him. I didn't need to think twice about my answer.

"I promise, Edward."

* * *

Edward left again that evening – and this time, he didn't come back. I found a note on the dining room table.

_My family,_

_I'm sorry. I don't know how long I will be gone for. Please, all of you don't worry about me. Alice, you swore to me. You made a promise. Please, keep it. _

_E._


	13. Chapter 5 NOVEMBER PART 1

The weeks dragged by, and we heard nothing from Edward.

Esme worried constantly. He hadn't been answering any of her calls – or anyone else's for that matter.

Carlisle had called Tanya. Both she and her family expressed their concern and sympathy, though all of us could hear the quiet note of smug hope in Tanya's smooth, familiar voice as she talked to us through loudspeaker down the phone. She would, of course, be pricking up her perfect ears at the news.

All of them had tried to help; calling Edward on his cell phone just like us. Eleazar had even invited us over to stay, but Carlisle politely declined this offer – for now, at least.

We all knew, deep down, that our calls really weren't helping a thing. Edward just wanted to be left alone. But we couldn't stop. All of us, me included, had a secret fear. It was unlikely, I knew, silly really to consider, but we still worried – Esme especially – if this went on much longer…was suicide something we should be fearing?

Then, towards the end of November, Edward answered one of my millions of texts.

_Alice. Please tell everyone not to worry. Heading South. Remember your promise. E._

I _had _remembered my promise. Remembered and kept it well. Visions of Bella were constantly playing at the edge of my sight – but I forced them away with renewed determination, trying instead to distract myself with one thing or another.

Carlisle had started at Cornell, and also got a night job in central Ithaca. Esme meanwhile had silently begun to research up on a few historical houses on the outskirts of town. We were all trying to distract ourselves, in our own ways, Jasper included. He hunted almost every single day, driven by a new, bleak sort of determination. Both of us had driven down with Carlisle when he went to Cornell, and Jasper had insisted on staying a while, testing himself again and again among humans. His expression was so viciously determined as we walked down streets or through parks that people stared more than ever, with fear as well as awe.

Of course, I knew why he was doing it. Why he was trying so desperately hard to perfect his restraint and control.

But what he was trying to make up for wasn't going to bring Edward back.

And me? I had my own way of distracting.

* * *

I opened my huge, new, blue-painted wardrobe door. On the very top shelf, right at the back, behind countless boxes of shoes, stuck out a little scrap of material. It belonged to the item I was looking for. I bit my lip, calculating the height, then reached up as high as I could, right up on tip toes, hands stretching – _nearly, nearly, nearly! – _but they barely brushed the second shelf. I sighed.

_Stupid, miniscule height again…_

I glanced round the room, looking for something to use to increase my height. My eyes fell on Jasper's desk chair.

I dragged it over to the wardrobe and hopped up onto it, reaching for the cloth again.

_Still _too small!

Growling in frustration, I jumped down and darted to the bed, where I'd been sorting through clean clothes this morning. I picked up two big piles of Jasper's shirts, and made them into a height-boosting heap on the chair. _There. _Pleased with myself, I scrambled up again, and stretched up on tip-toes for the fabric.

_STILL TOO SMALL…_

"Dang it!" I muttered, fighting the urge to kick the wardrobe – then reached for the pillows sitting at one end of our bed. I pressed them into place, then jumped up on my contraption yet again. I stretched as high as I could, giving little hops to gain height. The chair wobbled unsteadily and groaned in complaint. My fingers _just_ managed to grasp the edge of my ancient, ragged old asylum robe…

_Yes!_

I yanked it down, and ran my fingers over the faded fabric, feeling that strange, detached feeling I always got when I examined it. _All I had. All I had left of my past._ It felt so odd, holding something that was a total stranger to me, that I must have worn for so much of my human life, yet didn't remember.

It was filthy; cleaner now, since I'd washed it several times before putting it carefully away in my wardrobe, but still permanently stained and dirty. I hadn't even realised what it _was _till James's video. It didn't really look like anything but a scrap of old cloth – let alone an asylum uniform.

I lifted one of the sleeves close to my face, staring at the letters imprinted on the material.

_Alice_

Memories rushed through me as I read the name. The only thing I'd had when I'd woken up. The only thing I'd ever, ever known about myself. _Alice_. My name was Alice.

I rubbed at the stains around the name with a fingernail. I'd have to re-do all my nail polish later. Sigh. Oh well. A few more letters, the ones I knew were there, but difficult to make out so I rarely looked at them, came into blurred view.

_Alice B_

"Alice B," I whispered out loud. Alice Brendon? Bone? It looked like the space was big enough for about…six letters? Seven?

I sighed.

_Help. _Where was I going to start? How was I going to begin to research something I had next to no information about? 1900s, Biloxi, asylum, Alice B…fabulous. Even all those 'find your ancestors' programs humans used these days wouldn't be able to do much with my sparse information.

Well, maybe researching the internet wasn't a too bad first step. I could maybe start with asylum records, find all of them in and around Biloxi…but I didn't know if the asylum was even _there,_ just that I'd woken up in Biloxi…maybe I could search my name followed by B, as an initial…

"What are you doing, darlin'?"  
I jumped violently out of my dreamy thoughts; I'd been miles away. I swung around to face Jasper…but forgot I was on my spectacular height-boosting contraption.

_Uh-oh._

I stepped backwards into nothing, and promptly toppled off the chair. I could have saved myself – but Jasper blurred across the room and caught me before I could, his arms gathering me against his chest. I smiled and slipped my arms round his neck, pecking his lips.

"Thanks."

Jasper shook his head in amusement.

"Alice, what are you doing?" he asked, gesturing to the pillows, clothes and toppled chair lying in a heap on the floor.

"Trying to reach this – look!"

I pushed the material at him as he laid me gently down on the bed, sinking down beside me. He frowned.

"Your asylum robe?"

"Yes. Look here, around the sleeve, remember…?"

He examined the faded material. I waited for him to frown or sigh or react in any of his usual ways – but instead, a tiny, faint smile twitched the edges of his lips.

"What?" I asked, confused.

"Nothing," he murmured, looking the closest to smiling he had in months. He shifted closer to me, scooping his arms around my frame again. I felt his lips against my hair. "Just…this thing brings back memories. All those years ago. 1948…"

I felt a smile grow on my face too. I liked thinking about _that _year. A lot.

"You were so worried," Jasper murmured, stroking the 'Alice' inscription on the robe. "We spent hours examining this rag…"

"Hours," I agreed, leaning my head on his shoulder. "And all to no use."

I was silent for a moment, lost in though.

"I was thinking maybe about starting with an internet search…you know, see what 'Alice B' brings up?"

"That's a good idea."

"Can I borrow your laptop?"

"Of course."

I smiled, and pulled away from him, hopping off our bed and reaching for his laptop. I carried it back to the bed and clambered on again, tucking my legs up and pressing 'on'.


	14. Chapter 5 NOVEMBER PART 2

_Alice B asylum 1920._

I typed the four embarrassingly silly – and probably completely useless – words into Google, and tapped my fingers impatiently on the desktop whilst the computer buzzed away and the results loaded.

Of course, I'd always had absolutely no idea how old I was, so I decided to go for the year of my earliest memories – awaking as a vampire – as a starting point.

The web pages loaded slowly, laboriously, seeming to take an age.

_The Stockton State Mental __Asylum__…TFG society mental institutes…__1920 award for services to St. Alice Relief Fund…Alice Hooper hospice…asylum treatments of the western world…_

Hm. The search engine didn't seem to be finding much related with my name, in conjunction with the other words. Maybe I'd put in too much. I pressed home and started again, searching just _asylums 1920._

The laptop droned and slowly started to load the new results – all nine hundred thousand of them. _Great._

_A History of Insane Asylum and Mental Institutes…USA Today; Cures or Curses, 1920s, treatments from hell…notifications, histories, yahoo answers…Asylums Of America…_

I paused, eyes on the last website listed on page four of the results._ Asylums Of America _Hm.

I clicked it, and gritted my teeth while the page loaded at a snail's pace. When the website finally came into view, I was faced with a cluster of archived information on asylums, mental institutes and hospitals ranging right from early 1800 to 2004, along with details for several historical dig sights for archaeologists. Hm. This wasn't really what I wanted. Maybe what I really did need after all was one of those 'find your ancestors' programs, where you could just type a name in. _My _name in.

I browsed a bit around the website anyway. Jasper, sitting still and silent as a statue on the bed beside me, suggested to me quietly that I use the website archives to make a list of the asylums in and around Biloxi – so I fetched pen and paper and narrowed the list down to three.

_Bay View Insane Asylum_

_Underbrow Asylum and Hospital, Dl'berville_

_Blackwater Insane Asylum_

I saved the website to favourites, just in case, and then began my search again. I typed up everything I could think of, every combination of every possible word – but after almost two hours, I'd still come up with nothing. _Argh. _What was I going to do?

Jasper stayed silent on the bed next to me throughout my searches, letting me do what I wanted to. One gentle, scarred hand rested lightly, protectively on the small of my back as I searched again, and again, and again…

Almost another hour had passed before the website caught my eye. I clicked round it, scanning the brightly coloured different pages, coming to a stop on 'archives'.

_You can view all of our fascinating documents for real, plus admission sheets, records, and even search for YOUR ancestors by visiting our archives! Located in New York, you'll find everything you want, sorted and arranged in flawlessly reliable alphabetical order for your benefit and easy navigation._

_Opening times_

_9-5pm Monday to Friday_

_10-4pm Saturday and Sunday_

"Archives," I murmured, more to myself than even Jasper. "Do you think…?"

"Arranged in alphabetical order," Jasper read, nodding. "If that's true we could search through letter B of those three asylums in and around Biloxi…"

"Let's find the address!" I bent back over the keyboard and brought up a map of New York onto the screen. The directions were easy to follow – I calculated in my head how long it would take us to get there.

"About…five hours?" I estimated, and Jasper nodded again. "Would Carlisle mind, do you think?"

He squeezed my shoulders gently. "I'm sure he wouldn't, if it was just for a day…but…"

"But what?"

He bit his lip. "Alice, remember, we can't rely for certain on internet information – or even archives, for that matter. Records are never complete, buildings come and go and are taken down or refurbished. Our list probably isn't even nearly accurate…"

"But it's worth a try, isn't it? There might be someone there who could help us…!"

"There might."

I frowned, hearing the overly calm, patient note in his voice. He was sceptical about this, I could tell.

I turned to face him on the bed, arms folded. "You don't think I'll be able to do it, do you?"

His face fell into surprise – then sudden understanding as he took in my expression.

"_No_, love," he said at once, arms reaching instantly for me and drawing me close to him. "No, of course I don't, of course it's…it's possible, I know, I just…well…"

He trailed off, and I felt him shift uncomfortably as he held me. I found one of his hands, squeezing it reassuringly.

"What? Jazz, what is it?"  
He sighed and drew back, reaching up and cupping my face so tenderly in his scarred, ruined hands, his touch as careful and light as feathers.

"I just worry," he murmured, eyebrows furrowing in worry as he gazed down at me; oddly, his expression reminded me of Esme, when she worried over us. "Worry about why you were in place like that. Why they…why any parent would ever put you, _you, _Alice…in there. After that video…darlin', you were so upset, you've know idea how wretched, how miserable I felt, not being able to help you. And I couldn't bear it if you had to go through that again. I don't want this to cause you any more pain. And…" He paused, stroking my cheek with a cool finger, biting his lip again. "I'm afraid it might. I'm terribly…terribly afraid it might."

I glanced away, biting my lip. I didn't want to think about that part – I _wouldn't _think about that part, I wouldn't let myself, not yet, anyway.

"I don't think it will," I mumbled, still not looking at Jasper. "I don't, Jazz, I really don't think it will. Maybe my family _wasn't_ like that – they probably thought it would help me, thought the asylum was the best place, they had all kinds of rumoured 'cures' back then, maybe my parents believed in them, maybe they were sick with worry and they truly wanted to help me, maybe…maybe…"

I trailed off, realising I'd started to gabble – not really knowing what I was trying to say, or whether I was just trying to convince myself. Jasper didn't look any more reassured.

"Let's just be cautious, all right?"

I rolled my eyes, smiling in spite of myself. "You need to stop worrying so much over nothing."  
"It's not 'nothing' to me. _Anything_ that could hurt you isn't nothing."

I pushed the laptop away so I could climb properly onto his lap and kiss him. I didn't know how to answer his words any other way. _What had I ever done to deserve a man, a mate, a husband, as selflessly loving as this? _I'd never know the answer, not if I lived to be older than the oldest of the Volturi…older, even…

He held me so gently, one arm warm and heavy around me, holding me against him, the other tracing my cheek, my hair, stroking back my tangled black-spiked hair. His lips were soft and fluid against mine for several long moments, before I had to draw back, remembering I still had to ask Carlisle about visiting the archives in New York.

Jasper's expression was less troubled as he smiled down at me, his eyes warm liquid gold again.

"I love you."

"I love you," I murmured – and felt a smile slip across my lips, too. I really didn't want to go and ask Carlisle anything. I wanted to stay here, wanted to kiss him again, curl up with him on the bed, wait see where that might lead us…

_No, _I told myself firmly. _No. Later. After you ask Carlisle._

I sighed quietly, ignoring Jasper's questioning look, turned to retrieve the laptop, then hopped off the bed and over towards the door.

"I'm going to ask Carlisle about a day to go to the archives. Be back in a second."

"Hurry," my husband called from behind me, on the bed.

I smiled – forcing myself not to look back, or I'd never get out of the room. "I will."

* * *

"What are you looking for, Alice?"

Jasper's breath blew lightly against my ear as he whispered the question. I opened my eyes and tried to focus on the present instead of the uncertain future.

"Trying to see what we're going to find. Nothing's clear at the moment. Ugh, it's so annoying..."

He squeezed my hand.

"We'll be there soon. Just another ten minutes or so."

I sighed, focusing on the present again.

We were bumping along in an cheerful, yellow-painted, air-conditioned…and aggravatingly slow tour bus. Carlisle had suggested it – it took a direct route from the Medical Department of Cornell straight to New York – and the archives were a mere half-hour walk from where it stopped.

Esme had been torn between coming with us, and staying behind in case Edward came back. She had chosen the latter, after I'd assured her I'd be absolutely fine with just Jasper. Secretly, I was glad it was just the two of us.

The bus had seemed a great idea at the time – but I was getting increasingly impatient at the snail pace speed of the vehicle. I fidgeted constantly.

"Why can't they go faster?" I muttered a few minutes later, unable to stop myself. "We're not even at the maximum speed limit…"

"We'll get there soon enough. Or if you're really anxious to get there, we could get off at the next stop and just run, I don't mind…"

I dithered, weighing both options. I knew Jasper didn't want to get off. His jaw was clenched tight, staring forcefully at the seat in front – the grim determination full on his face. He'd missed a week of hunting – determined to practice on the journey here. I'd told him there was no need, but of course, he wouldn't listen. I didn't want to ruin all that for him now when he was doing so well.

"No," I sighed, sinking back on the seat. "It's ok, we're nearly there anyway. I'm making a fuss over nothing."

Jasper studied my expression for a second – and I knew he could see exactly why I wanted to stay on the bus. For him. He bent to whisper in my ear again.

"Thank you."

"It's ok," I whispered back. "You're doing so well."

He grimaced. "That's what it looks like?"

"Yes," I murmured back, my lips against his ear so no one would here us. "You look so much better than usual."  
He smiled ruefully. "It could be worse, I suppose. Wish that silly girl in front would stop tossing her hair, though."

He nodded at the red haired teenager in the seat just in front of him. I checked the future quickly.

"Don't worry," I whispered. "She'll be getting off in just a minute. One minute three seconds, to be precise."

"Thank you, Alice."

I pecked his cheek quickly. "You're welcome."

The bus slowed to a stop, and the red haired girl got up and flounced towards the doors. Her long, curly, fiery hair danced behind her, the wind from the doors blowing her sweet scent towards us. Jasper stiffened, and even my throat gave a faint twinge of fire at the smell. My husband's hand clenched mine tightly, gazing determinedly out the window so I couldn't see his face. The doors shut with a slide and a bang, and the bus began to move again. Jasper breathed a sigh of relief.

"It's ok," I whispered, stroking over the scars on his hand. "You're fine, Jazz. Just a few more minutes. A few minutes, Jazz."


	15. Chapter 5 NOVEMBER PART 3

The archives was a big, square slab of grey, with small windows to prevent sunlight filtering through and fading any important documents set at perfectly measured intervals across the walls – making the whole place appear more like a prison than anything else. Not that it would be very sunny today – I'd made sure of that before we left. _Psychic vampire's weather report, check. _

Jasper and I stood at the entrance, gazing up at the tall, grim walls of the enormous building.

"This is it, then," I murmured. Jasper nodded, his face unreadable. I chewed my lip, going over my lines. We'd spent the walk here rehearsing what I was going to say to the receptionist. I reached for the handle of the huge door and pulled it open, letting a brief glimpse of the future push to the front of my vision.

I needed the future. I'd held back for the past weeks, reluctant to let too much slip through in case of Bella. It was becoming infuriating how attuned I really was to her. The visions played constantly at the edge of my eyes, Bella's unstoppable future pushing to get through. I'd used my talent less, and if I did, it was cautious and careful – and I pulled out instantly when anything from Bella began.

But now, carefully, I let myself look, and pictures flooded my mind…

J_asper and I, standing before a large, grey-painted wooden desk…going through paper after paper, piles upon piles, box after box…_

I came back to the present as both of us stepped into an airy, high-ceilinged room that looked almost exactly like the outside of the building – grey – only warmer, and spotlessly clean. We approached the front desk.

The very pretty golden-haired young woman behind the counter glanced up and focused on Jasper with wide, baby-blue eyes. Her mouth, smeared with scarlet lipstick, dropped.

_No surprises there, _I thought, smiling a little to _was _utterly, ridiculously handsome.

"Hi," I greeted the woman loudly, when she continued to stare, open-mouthed, at my husband. "I was wondering if you could help us. Both of us. _Together._"

Maybe she'd cotton on to the hint. _She'd better, _a growling voice in the back of my head muttered, but I pushed it away. _I shouldn't judge before she's even said a word to us_.

The woman blinked hard several times, her thick feather-duster eyelashes brushing her cheek – and turned her gaze to me.

"Oh…" she said faintly, her voice high and sweetly smooth. _Oh help, she sounded like a movie star. _"Yes…yes, of course – sorry, honey…" She giggled nervously, bluebell eyes darting back to Jasper. "How might I help you, sir?"

She flashed a smile, tossing her curls out of her face and straightening her skinny-as-tights designer jeans. I glowered, unable to stop myself – _she really was laying it on thick as anything…_

"I'd like to access your asylum records, please."

The lady frowned slightly, her gaze resting on me again. "What was that, honey? The asylum records?"  
"Yes," I said curtly, nodding. The lady shook her head.

"Well, we can't let just anybody look up what they like, you know, hon. You'll have to book an appointment to –"

"We have an appointment," Jasper interrupted smoothly, his half-smile polite and unreadable.

"Oh…" the woman said vaguely, staring at him. "Oh well…if that's the case, then of course, sir, that's just fine – may I ask who you arranged this meeting with…?"

She smiled, leaning closer across the desk, whilst Jasper shifted uneasily, and I clenched my fists. _Stupid, perfect receptionist_. Couldn't she see how uncomfortable this was for him?

"A lady called Carrie Philips," Jasper said. "She arranged to let us through around 3 o' clock."

The woman nodded brightly, and picked up a phone lying on her desk.

"Just a moment, please," she sang, batting eyes still on Jasper. I gritted my teeth, tightening my hand possessively around my husband's. _Couldn't she see were together? Wasn't it obvious? Maybe if I could accidentally-on-purpose drop my wedding ring onto the desk, or something…_

We waited while she dialled a numbers and murmured a few words down the telephone. She replaced the receiver, and turned to Jasper again.

"If you head down to the ground floor, please, sir, she'll be with you in a few minutes. The stairs are just over there." She pointed. Jasper nodded, and gave her another polite, if slightly tight smile.

"Thank you for your help."

She blushed.

"Oh it was my _pleasure_, sir."

Grinding my teeth so hard the sound practically echoed round the room, I dragged my husband determinedly away towards the stairs that led to the asylum records.

* * *

Jasper was silent as I half-dragged him down the stairs and into the lift that stood waiting open for us, but when the metal doors finally swung shut behind us and I'd bashed the right little silver button to take us down to the lower ground floor…he chuckled.

"_What?_" I demanded, through gritted teeth, as the little button I'd just hit began to splinter before my eyes. Jasper only continued to chuckle, and when he finally spoke, his tone was teasing.

"Someone got a little possessive back there, didn't they?"

"_Hm_."

He chuckled again – his hands gently slipping round my waist from behind, lips at my ear.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't tease you. Goodness knows I'm possessive enough at the best of times."

I sighed, letting myself sink back against him.

"You're too gorgeous for your own good, that's the problem. Any girl would want you – even Edward admitted half the girls in Forks had you on their radars, right from when we moved there!"

He chuckled again, shaking his head and nuzzling my throat, my neck, my shoulder, with his lips. "Oh yes, I'm sure. The war-torn mass murderer, as awkward as he is antisocial, more scars than skin – warning; harbours less self-control than a newborn gone wild – the heartthrob of Forks High School…"

"_No,_" I interrupted. "I meant the gentle, loving young man I'm ridiculously lucky enough to be wife to, as brave as he is fiercely protective, more caring than any man on earth could ever be – warning; will turns heads wherever he goes due to indescribable beauty both inside and out – the undisputable husband of Alice Cullen…so _quit flirting with him, _people – he's taken!"

He laughed at that; long and loud, a chorus of bass bells.

"I love you," he murmured, soft as a whisper, as the lift doors creaked open. "So much. You know that, don't you?"

"I like to be reminded," I murmured, grinning up at him. "And I love you too. So much."

He reached for my hand, squeezing it tight.

"Come on. Let's get to work."

* * *

We spent the whole day at the archives.

Starting with the three asylums from in and around Biloxi we'd found on the internet, one of which I must have been admitted to, we searched all the admission sheets we could for each of them. They were sorted alphabetically, so of course we hunted 'B' – I couldn't _believe_ how many surnames there were beginning with the letter! – from dawn till dusk, that day.

By eight o'clock, we'd finished. Just.

I'd taken pen and paper and made copies of the three admission sheets we found that were possible. Two from Underbrow Asylum and Hospital, and one from Blackwater Insane Asylum.

We'd been kicked out at closing time – but it didn't matter. We'd got all we needed to.

Now, I was sitting on a hotel bed, going over what we'd found, and just about exploding with excitement. I'd tried to restrain it, keep it in check, when Jasper had been around – it would only make him worry even more for me, if he felt it - but now, he was downstairs at the hotel desk, sorting out payments for our last minute room book. I was alone – and I just couldn't contain myself any longer. The thought that one of these girls…one of these three asylum admissions, could be me. _Me! _Once I knew that, the possibilities were so much more open. I could find my asylum – search the internet with my full, real name, find out about my family, maybe even find my grave…!

Unable to stop a huge, goofy smile spreading across my face, I gently laid the three pieces of paper with the copied admission sheets of the three girls out on the bed in front of me. When Jasper arrived back from downstairs, all payments sorted for the night, we began to read through them together.

* * *

_Underbrow Asylum and Hospital_

_Admission no. 44_

_29/10/1905_

_Alice Elizabeth Bone_

_Parents: Tom Bone. Gladys Rose Bone__._

_Symptoms: unc__ontrollable, sudden panic attacks, claims to see things others can't. Hallucinations? Visions?_

_Age: 7_

_Description: plump, dark hair, brown eyes,_

_Admission period: uncertain_

_Notes: family distraught. _

* * *

_Underbrow Asylum and H__ospital_

_Admission no.__ 46_

_2/5/1906_

_Alice __Rose Butterworth _

_Parents: Aled__ Butterworth. Melissa Butterworth. _

_Symptoms: hallucinations, visions_

_Age: 6_

_Description: average height, black curls, brown eyes_

_Admission period: to be confirmed_

_Notes: frantic parents, __asap case._

* * *

_Blackwater Insane A__sylum, Biloxi_

_Admission no. 1__56_

_19/4/__1906_

_Mary Alice Brandon_

_Parents: David__ John Brandon. Lynette Elizabeth Jane Brandon. _

_Symptom(s):_ _premonitions, visions (psychic?)_

_Age: 5_

_Description: tiny, black hair, green eyes, _

_Admission period: permanent_

_Notes: Philip Marsden fully in charge. Confined to room AT ALL TIMES._

* * *

"Let's rule out that first one," Jasper said, after a few minutes of silent reading. "The higher age, plump, dark hair, not black…it really just seems terribly vague and unlikely…"

"The thing that really gets me is '_plump'_," I said, scowling. "I'm not _plump_, am I?"

He grinned, twining an arm round my waist, his hand easily spanning half of it.

"No amount of venom could make you this tiny, if you were _plump_ Alice Elizabeth Jones as a human," he said, chuckling. I closed my eyes at the sound. _Three laughs in one day. _He was, slowly, losing some of the misery from his golden eyes. A little of the remorse, the hopelessness, had gone – his face had some of its old light in it again. And his smile was less sad, every time.

"I think…Alice Brandon seems the most likely," he was saying, slowly. "Simply because of…well, _everything_. The age and description most prominently. They actually make a pointof saying you are tiny, which suggests you reallywere, noticeably. And the age is just so much more believable. That would make you about nineteen, when you were turned."

I nodded…though inside, my stomach dipped slightly with disappointment. Secretly, I agreed wholeheartedly with Jasper – but on Alice Butterworth's notes, it said her parents were 'frantic', an ASAP case…

More than anything, I'd always hoped I'd once had a caring, loving, human family. This had seemed so unlikely when James had explained about their admitting me to an asylum – but if I _was_ Alice Butterworth, my parents had been frantic, desperate for their daughter…

Something deep down inside was telling me I had this very wrong – but I shoved it away. I _wanted_ to hope – wanted to so much! – I didn't want to consider any other possibility…

"…Alice? What do you think?"

I sighed.

"Yes…I suppose…" I mumbled. "But…what about Alice Butterworth?"

Jasper frowned thoughtfully, examining the second sheet.

"She's a possibility," he said, nodding. "But…"

He sighed, biting his lip. "Alice, love, I'm sorry, I just think Alice Brandon fits…_everything_. The description, the symptoms, the notes at the end…"

I looked away, at my hands clasped in my lap.

_Admission period: permanent_

_Notes: Philip Marsden fully in charge. Confined to building AT ALL TIMES._

"It does, doesn't it?" I said, quietly. I let the future playing at the edges of my eyes, seep through.

_Searching the internet__, drumming my fingers as the pages loaded…_

…_foggy, unclear because I was still so reluctant to pursue this decision…_

…_Bella screaming in her sleep…_

I pulled out quickly, shoving the future away. _Don't think it. Don't let it through. Block, Alice, block, block, block…!_

"Permanent, it says," I wondered out loud, trying to distract myself. "And that person, Philip Marsden, fully in charge – would that be for my whole time spent there? Could he be the one who…?"

"…changed you," Jasper finished, nodding. I chewed my lip again, peering at the final notes.

"Jazz, don't…don't you think…maybe they had their reasons? My parents, I mean? Maybe…maybe they _did _think the asylum was the best place for me, maybe they were poor and couldn't bare the thought of having a child they thought had problems going hungry, maybe they really wanted me to have a better chance…"

I nodded confidently, warming to the idea. "Yes, that's possible – maybe they _did_ think that. Maybe they really thought it would help me..."

I pushed away the negative thoughts away determinedly. I wouldn't think about them now. I wouldn't. I _wouldn't._

I would push it to the back of my mind…along with so many other things.

"Let's search for the other two anyway," I said, getting up and crossing the room to fetch Jasper's shiny laptop from my bag.

We spent the next half-hour researching the two most unlikely girls – but nothing of use came up. Alice Bone had no information whatsoever – it was as if she'd never existed. And we found Alice Butterworth had been released from the asylum in 1913.

"I think we rule these two out," Jasper said, eventually.

"Average height," I murmured thoughtfully to myself, reading the appearance description on the admission sheet.

Jasper chuckled. "I think we rule this out _completely_."

I took a deep breath…and then purposefully made the decision.

"Mary Alice Brandon, then."

The future shifted, shuddered, shunted into place instantaneously…

_A cramped, overgrown graveyard…__"Mary Alice Brandon"…a plane trip, shifting in and out of focus, undecided…internet…internet search…_

I smiled, opening my eyes to meet Jasper's intent gaze.

"I think this is it. Come on – internet search."


	16. Chapter 5 NOVEMBER PART 4

We spent the rest of the night researching Mary Alice Brandon.

Jasper found a website on Blackwater Insane Asylum – now being converted to a Blackwater Bar and Grill – and read up on its history. It was a definite, real place. Built in 1898, and fallen into disrepair since its closure in 1927, after its last owner died.

I found out that Mary Alice Brandon's mother, Lynette Brandon, had won the Danella Park Fair beauty contest in 1903. A mention of her husband, David Brandon, was there too.

"They were real," I murmured, scrolling down the fair's history page. "They were. Real people, 1903…"

I was struggling worse than ever to keep my voice calm.

"Oh Jazz…"

"Alice, remember, we can't _count_ on it…"

"Not _yet_," I interrupted. "But we can find out more – this isn't over yet! For one thing, we haven't searched for Alice herself…"

"Mary," Jasper reminded me, quietly.

"Mary-Alice, we haven't even searched for _her_. Let's see what that brings up!"

I typed the name in before Jasper could stop me.

Most of the results, as I was used to now, were useless – but one in particular caught my eye.

_St. Mary's Church_

_Our graveyard…Mary Alice Brandon…records…_

_www.__**'schurch.**__com__ - _Cached - Similar

My eyes widened.

"A graveyard!" I gasped, clicking the link. I was taken to a page with information on St. Mary's Catholic Church – a venue in Biloxi! And by clicking on the little green button with 'surrounding grounds and cemetery' written in small letters…

"All residents currently residing in our historical graveyard, ranging back from the late 1800s. _Mary Alice Brandon_…"

I felt a huge, unstoppable grin spreading across my face.

"Jasper…this is me, it's me, it's _got _to be!"

Jasper gently took the mouse from me, scrolling down the page.

"It certainly seems likely…" he murmured. I jittered up and down with excitement, unable to hold it in any longer, all negative thoughts and worry from the admission sheet gone from my mind.

"It's got to be, _got_ to be! It fits so _perfectly_…oh Jazz -!"

"- wait a second," Jasper interrupted, placing a calming hand on mine. "Let me check one more thing."

He saved the website to 'favorites', and then clicked home again. His fingers darted over the keyboard as gracefully as Edward's had once floated over piano keys…and typed in _Philip Marsden._

"Oh," I said, understanding. "Of course. My asylum worker, the one on the sheet…"

"He wasn't just…yours, love," Jasper reminded me, quietly – his hand creeping a little possessively around my shoulders as we scanned the results. "Let's see if he's buried anywhere around Blackwater Asylum too…"

"There!" I interrupted, pointing excitedly at the fifth option. "Try that one!"

Jasper clicked the link. To my surprise, it took us back to St. Mary's Catholic Church – and then I realized why.

"The graveyard list," I said, blankly. "Oh. Bother."

"Yes, if he's _buried,_ it can't be right," Jasper murmured half to himself, shaking his head. "They would never have found his body…"

"No – no, wait, look!" I said, pointing at the screen.

_Memorial Graves –_ _laid by relatives or close friends of those who were never found, nevertheless remain in our hearts forever. _

_Philip Marsden_

"He's on a memorial slab," I whispered. "They never found his body…"

And _that _meant…

I couldn't help it. I threw my arms round Jasper – awkwardly sideways, as he was on the bed next to me – almost laughing in delight, my smile so huge it felt as though it would split my face in half.

"We've done it, Jazz, we've found _me_!" I burst out, unable to stop myself. "We've found _me_...!"

Jasper smiled, arms curling around me, his eyes still on the screen. "It certainly seems very likely…"

"_Jazz_," I sighed exasperatedly, drawing back to frown at him. "Look at all the evidence! Let's go over it again – where's that paper?"

That turned out to be a very good question. I hadn't been all too careful about arranging our notes in any way – we were practically buried in white sheets with numbers and names scribbled on every one. After a great deal of shuffling around and hard searching, Jasper finally held up the blue sheet of patterned fashion notepaper torn from a pad Rosalie had given me several Christmases ago, with the names of the asylum girls we'd listed written on it.

I held up the paper, and read out loud.

"Mary Alice Brandon is definitely the most possible girl out of the three we found from the archives. Born in 1901, admitted to asylum age of five. Psychic. Physical description; perfect. Real family, real grave, real Philip Marsden – Jasper, it's me, this is me, I know it! Mary Alice Brandon…"

I closed my eyes, saying the name again, over and over, trying to decide how it felt, how it sounded…Mary Alice Brandon…

…it was weird. Beyond weird, staring at the words on this scrap of paper and knowing, almost for certain, who it was talking about, that someone I'd once met had written it…

That it held more information about my own life than I myself had or would ever know…

"Mary Alice Brandon…Brandon…Mary…"

"All right," Jasper murmured, and I could hear the smile in his voice. "I'll admit it. It's _extremely _likely. Extremely."

"_Exactly!_"

"But we –"

"- can't be certain, yes." I smiled. "I know, Jazz."

"Just checking."

I rolled my eyes, slipping my arms round his neck and shifting to sit on his lap.

"Isn't it pretty?" I murmured, nestling my face against the material of his shirt. "Mary Alice…I always did like double names!"

"It's certainly a surprise – turns out we should have been calling you Mary all these years."

There was a short silence. I frowned, thinking.

"Mary…" I murmured to myself, slowly. "Mary…no, I don't like it. I much prefer Alice."

"Me too," Jasper murmured, sounding relived, his lips at my hair. "But you know what this means?"

"There must have been more on that robe sleeve than I thought there was," I said, thoughtfully. "More that had been rubbed off…"

"Exactly."

I nodded, murmuring my name over and over, thinking, wondering…

"I wish I knew for certain," I said, quietly. "Because I'll always have this feeling, this uncertainness, that it might not be me, that we might have got it wrong somehow."

"We can never be certain, darlin'," Jasper said, gently, his lips still brushing my hair. "It's just not possible to _ever_ be certain. But we can find out more."

"My asylum," I said, nodding. "It's featured in that little museum near where the refurbishment's happening. That might have more information. And I'd like to find my grave too, see it for real…it's odd to think the date will say I died over eighty years ago, isn't it? And yet I'll be alive and walking to go and see it myself, decades later!"

Jasper nodded too, thinking. "We'll have to ask Carlisle first, though – Biloxi's a long way to go."

"Yes. Come on. Let's call him…"


	17. Chapter 5 NOVEMBER PART 5

"What do you think Mum was like, Jasper?"

Silence. I could almost see Jasper biting his lip uncomfortably – _again_.

"I'm sure she was….respectable."

I rolled my eyes.

"Jazz, come on, tell me! What do you think she was like?"

"If she was anything like her daughter, most likely she was spotlessly clean and organized to perfection – with exceptionally large bedrooms to make space for gigantic wardrobes."

I growled, though I was grinning in spite of myself, and he laughed quietly.

"Truly, darlin', I have no idea. You're the one who is good at talking about this."

I sighed deeply. I _wasn't_ good at talking about it. Just good at _trying. _Unlike my uncomfortable, unresponsive husband.

I was sitting beside Jasper on a mostly empty aeroplane, both his arms curled round me, and my head leant against his shoulder. The phone call to Carlisle and Esme had been longer than we'd expected – Esme insisted on every detail of our trip so far – but we'd still had an hour or two to kill before we could check out of our hotel and set off for the airport. Jasper had sorted out our plane journey and both of us had memorised the route we needed to take once we were in Biloxi, to reach St. Mary's Church.

I'd spent every second I could quizzing Jasper – question after question on what we'd found, about my parents, where I lived, where I might have gone to school – everything. Everything…except what we might find when we got to Biloxi. My visions were fuzzy and unclear, vague sounds and sights that wouldn't come into focus…and this worried me. Jasper had gotten more and more agitated, his answers less informative and more and more brief with every question.

I'd tried so hard to hold back while we waited in line for security and bag check – only asking a handful or so, mostly ones I could answer myself, so Jasper didn't have much to say.

But now, seated on the plane beside him with nothing to do except try to ignore the faint burn in my throat from the humans seated around us, I still had _so much_ to ask! So many things to discuss and debate and wonder…I wanted to speculate every detail, every tiny aspect of my human life – and Jasper just didn't.

He was as calm and careful with his answers as ever, turning his head occasionally to kiss my hair and changing the subject at every chance he got, so it was perfectly obvious he didn't want to discuss this.

I started, yet again, to wonder why…and then shoved the answer away furiously. I wasn't going to think about it. I'd promised myself. The future was still…blurry, but I knew it would be all right. I knew it. I knew it. I didn't need my visions to tell me that…didn't need that blurred mess of sounds and pictures, voices, footsteps, the crunch of snow…a choking sound of pain, of loss, of quiet sobbing…

"Jazz, what do you think Mum looked like?" I asked quickly, trying to distract myself. "Do you think she was…well…pretty?"

Jasper stroked his fingers through my mop of tangled, spiked raven hair, lips at my ear.

"She would have to be at the very least exquisite, to produce you," he murmured. His cool, sweet breath fanned my face. I couldn't help frowning slightly in annoyance – _he was trying to distract me. Again._

"Thanks," I grinned, drawing away. "So…come on, what do you think they were like? Mum and Dad…you're right, Mum must have been pretty, she won that contest we read up on at the fair…"

"Mm."

I thought for a moment, and then tried a different tack.

"Jazz…do you…do you think I might have had…_siblings_?"

"Maybe."

I grinned, nestling closer against his shoulder. "I hope I did – I always liked to think I came from a large family, just like now! But if I did have siblings…older or younger? Hm…I always wished I had more sisters, like Rosalie, but more laid back, and all older than me, so they could take to take me shopping...and just think, if I had more than one, I could have alternated, one sister per shop, and gone goodness knows how many times_…_!"

"Mm."

I sighed in exasperation. "Jazz, come on, I'm doing all the talking."

"Well, I'm doing all the listening."

"You can't listen to me chatter away all day –"

"I could. I wouldn't mind in the slightest. Any voice would be a thousand times better than this awful wailing…"

He jerked his head towards where the middle-aged air hostess was fiddling with a CD player set into the wall a few rows down from us, at the front of the plane. The singer's voice coming from the speakers wailed and screeched like a cat having its tail trod on. _Ouch. _The assistant drew back, grinning, obviously pleased with her choice of music for some unfathomable reason. She caught Jasper's narrowed eyes – and gasped out loud, her eyes widening in wonder. I was forcefully reminded of the receptionist in the archives, and sighed inwardly, shifting impossibly closer to Jasper. _All these human woman eyeing up my husband…ugh…_

Jasper's lips were at my ear again.

"What's the matter, love? Why are you growling?"

I hadn't realized I was. _Dang it. _

"All these woman eyeing you up…" I mumbled, clenching my fists.

Jasper chuckled, tightening his arm around me.

"Ignore them. I do."

This made me feel a bit better. I huddled against him, smiling smugly to myself, trying to reach an arm up to wrap around his shoulders – but I couldn't reach all the way round. _Sigh. _I settled for holding his other hand instead.

The future shimmered in front of me…and I heard, faintly, the choking sound again. I winced, and forced the sound away. Everything was going to be all right, I told myself. Everything. I knew it. _I knew it._

"What time is it?" I asked abruptly, turning Jasper's hand over to see the numbers on his glinting silver wristwatch.

"Quarter to two. Just a bit longer," Jasper murmured slightly wistfully, as though wishing the time would go faster. "Twenty minutes, at most."

_So soon. _My stomach lurched, an odd feeling of almost…nervousness, twisting inside me. I frowned, wondering whether Jasper had sent it, but that was silly. I always knew when it was Jasper. Always.

I closed my eyes, letting myself drift into the future cautiously, concentrating hard on Biloxi, on St. Mary's Church, on Jasper, on me…

I shivered.

The future was…well, blank. Nothing_. _Grey, dark, shifting in and out of focus…but there was something about it…an odd feeling, almost _foreboding_, as the pictures blurred over a graveyard, Jasper's hand round mine, a church, that wretched choking sound…

I shook myself. Stupid, I was being stupid. _Foreboding…_what could be foreboding about simply finding my grave? I pushed the ridiculous visions away, shifting ever-closer to Jasper and filling my head with thoughts of Mother, of Father, of my possible siblings, what they were like, how they must have looked…

The future played at the edges of my eyes. I heard the _choked sound_, faint and far away, and saw _snow falling softly from the clouded sky, down onto a gravestone_…

"_Stop it_."

"What?"

I realised I'd spoken out loud.

"Nothing," I said quickly. "Just silly visions. It's nothing"

Jasper tightened his arm and hand around me. "Do you want to…?"

"_No_. Of course not. It's fine, Jazz, all fine. I know it. _I know it_."

_Stop, _Alice, I told myself furiously. _Everything would be all right. Everything. I know it. I know it…_

"I know it," I whispered, soft as a breath, with quiet, furious determination.

But for the first time, I wondered whether I was just trying to convince myself.

* * *

Snow fell softly across the pathway in front of us, settling in a thick blanket of white for our feet to crunch through as we made out way down the street. The ground looked like it had been coated in the icing I'd made for a Christmas cake a few years back, in an adventurous attempt to see how humans did it. I'd spent simply _hours _perfecting the decorating methods the recipe picture featured, till it looked so beautiful I was glad we didn't have to actually eatit. The cake itself had been a disaster – but at least it had _looked_ pretty…

It was early evening. The streetlamps were lit, casting pale gold patches of flickering light onto the snow where it fell, and creating odd, luminescent shadows over the scars on Jasper's hands, face, and neck. Both of us walked, hand in hand, down the snowy road I knew led to St. Mary's Catholic Church.

"I wonder whether that was why I was admitted in the autumn…" I mused, quietly. "Maybe Mother didn't want me to have to face the cold winter, she couldn't bear to see me freeze, and maybe we couldn't afford coats…heating…something…"

The future was trying to force its way through to me again. For the first time in my life, I was starting resent my stupid talent. It seemed determined to show me the worst, determined to make me hear the choking sounds, see the falling snow, listen to the sobs…

"Maybe my father had just lost his job…" I gabbled desperately, shoving away the visions for the hundredth time. "Maybe…maybe…!"

_Those choked sobs, echoing around my head…_

"…maybe…!"

_The gravestone, half buried in fluffy white…_

No. No, it was all going to be all right, it was all going to be fine. It would be. It _would _be. Think of your family. Think of beautiful Mother.

"I wonder if we ever had any pets…"

_Choking sobs, falling snow…_

"..I mean, I think…"

…d_ry and hopeless…_

"…I think…"

…_hopeless…_

"…I think…"

"Alice."

I stopped; both my walking, and my talking. Jasper had held out a hand to stop me, and was pointing to the tall church building, just visible through the blizzard of falling snow, to the right of the street. We both trekked in silence towards it.

_St. Mary's Catholic Church_

The signpost was stained and worn with age, and the gate to the churchyard was falling off its hinges, swinging in the wind and creaking eerily. I stared at it, the sobs from my vision ringing in my ears, and felt an odd cold rush of dread shoot through me. The future was so…so…

"…Jazz…"

Jasper tightened his hand around mine.

"If you want to go back…"

"No!" I said at once. "No, Jazz, no, it's…its fine, I'm fine, let's…let's go…"

I pulled away from him and pushed open the gate; it groaned, the wood splintering under my fingers as it toppled forwards. A flurry of snow blew off the top, enveloping my clothes and hair in even more carpets of wet snowflakes, but I didn't care. I led Jasper determinedly down the pathway that led to the church's door, spotted another creaking signpost pointing in the direction of 'Historical Graveyard' and headed off to the right. The path was a smooth silken spread before us – not a single footprint to be seen anywhere. The bushes and trees were bare and laden with snow, the broken walls and fallen bricks all camouflaged utterly by white. Clearly, no one had been here in a long, long time. The whole place had a deserted, unloved feel to it I didn't like one bit…

Visions blurred, sounds of the dreaded future ringing in my ears, and I picked up speed, walking quicker than I should have done with possible humans watching round the edge of the church, Jasper stumbling along behind me.

"Alice –"

"It's here!" I called, my voice shooting up higher as I heard the faint sobbing again, now not so far in the future. "Just here, it's all right, everything's all right, I know it, I know it –!"

"Alice –!"

_Sobbing, that terrible, terrible sobbing…_

I was going too fast, too fast, collapsing through another broken gate into another overcrowded, dilapidated yard, all the horribly familiar sounds ringing in my unwilling ears…

"_Alice –!_"

And then I was running. Desperately, frantically forcing away the visions determined to push their way in front of my eyes, I leapt through the falling snow, tripping and stumbling, Jasper falling along behind me, my frantic eyes scanning every grave, every stone, pushing through clumps of snow-covered weeds and unkempt flowerbeds, searching, _searching_…

"Alice, please, wait -!"

_Almost there…_

"Alice -!"

_…it'll be all right…_

"Alice -!"

…_be all right_…

"Alice…!"

…_be all right…_

And there it was.

* * *

_Mary Alice Brandon_

_In loving memory of our beloved daughter. Forever in our hearts, our dearest child. _

_1901-1906_

_Rest in peace._

* * *

I couldn't speak. Couldn't move.

Couldn't _think._

I stared in blank, unbelieving horror at the numbers, minutes passing, snow falling silently around me…

…then realisation hit. Punched me full on in the stomach. Slapped me across the face.

And it all made sense.

"_No!_"

"Alice? Alice, what is it, what's wrong -?"

_No…no…_

…_no, no, no…_

Jasper's voice seemed to come from a place too far away for my brain to comprehend. A million miles away. My ears heard the words…but my mind couldn't process them to make sense. Nothing made sense. Nothing.

Not anymore.

The snow swirled around the gravestone in front of me. _My_ gravestone. It fluttered, danced, in a horribly purposeful way, over the two numbers divided by that small, black carved line. 1901 to 1906.

My parents had admitted me to an asylum in 1906. And then…then they had lied, pretended, fooled the whole town and church and every resident who must have walked past and seen this gravestone…

They'd told everyone I'd died. When really…really…

"…_no…_"

My hands flailed; I clutched at the gravestone with both hands, my ghostly pale fingertips swiping the snow desperately away from the numbers, just to make sure, just to make absolutely positive…

"_No, no, no…_"

__Jasper was suddenly at my side, crouched down next to me, his eyes on the gravestone, but his arms reaching for me.

"What, Alice, love, what's wrong…? Are you hurt? What's happened…what's…oh…_oh…_"

He trailed off, his voice fading into nothingness, eyes focussing on the gravestone for a few silent moments…

One of the most horrific snarls I'd ever heard roared from his chest. He grabbed at my hands, almost violently dragging them away from the gravestone, drawing me back against him.

"_Alice –_"

"_No!_" I cried, yanking my arms away. "There's got to be some mistake, _it can't be right_ –!"

"Alice –!"

"It's _wrong_, Jasper, _wrong_, I know it, it _must_ be, _must be_ -!"

I leapt up and swung around wildly, choking back the sobs that wanted to come, wanted to come so badly…

"It's wrong, I know it's _wrong -_!"

"Alice, please, love –!"

I fought his arms away from me as he reached out again, stumbling away towards the other gravestones.

"One of _these_ –!" I choked, grabbing armfuls of snow off the marble slabs, rubbing at the faded writing from the unkempt graves. "One of these_, these_, I know it -!"

"Alice, please -!"

"_No!_" I choked, shoving Jasper, snow, cold, wet, tears, everything, all of it away. "_No…!_"

But I knew it was no use.

The sobs broke through uncontrollably. Desperately, I choked them back as yet another armful of snow dashed icy cold and wet around me – it was everywhere, tangled in my clothes, soaked through my hair, and still it fell, crashed down in never ending waves, waves that seemed to engulf everything else, the graveyard a blur, Jasper's voice a far away mumble, everything going, going, going except for me and my stupid, vile, blank memories of nothingness, of the gravestone numbers, of my family, the family I felt like I'd lost, _my_ family who had hated me, despised me, had shut me away because I was a freak, a _freak_, nothing but a _shameful,_ _worthless freak_…

Then somehow, I was in front of my grave again. I felt the ground beneath me, the snow burying my knees and arms enfolding around me again. Hands…hands I realised were my own, shoved the desperate arms away and then…

…then I heard the sobs. Hopeless, wrenching, terrible sobs, _my_ visions, come to life, future now present…and I realised it was me making them.

"_Alice…_"

Jasper's voice. My beautiful, gentle husband, his voice trembling with anguish, and the arms round me again – only this time, I didn't push them away. Everything was dark…dark, I realised, because my face was buried in my hands. But it didn't help anything. The sobs flowed thick and fast and entirely unstoppable – and for one immeasurable moment, I didn't care that every cry would be torture for Jasper, or that sobbing about what had happened decades ago without me realising would change nothing, help nothing, not give me the family I wanted, the family thought I'd had, _convinced _myself I had, loving and kind and altogether so wonderful…

"_Alice, _please, my darlin', don't, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry…"

The arms were like steel girders. Somehow, my arms were around Jasper too, and he was rocking me backwards and forwards, his lips trailing kisses over every part of my snow-blanketed skin, his arms crushing me against him, and I buried my face in his chest …

"_Why, _Jasper, _why…?_"

My voice broke so many times over the three words it was a wonder he could even understand any of them – but somehow, he did.

"I don't know, love, I don't know, I'm sorry…"

"It's because I was a _freak_, wasn't I?" I sobbed, my hands clutching at the material of his shirt. "A stupid, worthless _freak_ with visions and premonitions and Mother couldn't _bear_ to have someone like me as a daughter…"

"_No,_" Jasper snarled, crushing me impossibly tighter against him. "Never, Alice, you werenever a freak, _never…_**"**

__"_Then why…?_"

"Alice, please, darlin', let's get out of here –"

"_Why…?_"

"_Alice_…"

Jasper drew me so tight against him I could hardly breathe.

"I don't know, love, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I don't know…"

"They _hated _me…" I sobbed against his shirt. "They _hated_ me, enough to put me in a place like that…they must have hated _so much_…"

"I'm getting you out of here, out of this snow, you're half buried…"

"Doesn't matter_…_" I choked. "Snow doesn't affect…doesn't matter…nothing…matter…"

I never finished my useless sentence. Jasper stood up, cradling me against his chest like a doll.

"You matter. More than anything, you matter, Alice. To me."

He pulled off his coat in one swift movement, and wrapped the warm, woolly material round me, creating a kind of swaddle that humans would use to keep someone warm if they'd been left out in the snow for too long; _of course_, I thought vaguely, _he would need to put on a good show if some human stopped him…_

"No more, Alice," my husband whispered against my forehead, his voice shaking. "No more. We're going home. _Really_ home."

Very softly, he brushed my forehead ever so tenderly with his lips. And somehow, his kiss warmed my vampire body more than any coat or blanket ever could.

Then he curled his arms impossibly tighter around me, and turned towards the gate that heralded the way out of the graveyard.

He carried me all the way back to the airport.


	18. December, Janurary, Februrary

"_No more, Alice," my husband whispered against my forehead, his voice shaking. "No more. We're going home. Really home." _

_Very softly, he brushed my forehead ever so tenderly with his lips. And somehow, his kiss warmed my vampire body more than any coat or blanket ever could. _

_Then he curled his arms impossibly tighter around me, and turned towards the gate that heralded the way out of the graveyard._

_He carried me all the way back to the airport._

* * *

Time passed so quickly sometimes.

It was Christmas day – and yet, it still felt like only yesterday Jasper had carried me out of that icy-white graveyard and back to the airport, where he booked a flight on the very next aircraft to New York. We had an almost six-hour wait till our flight left – he'd somehow managed to get a room in an already fully-booked hotel.

He'd carried me into the hotel room and laid me down on the bed, and ever so tenderly undressed every piece of my freezing, snow-encrusted clothing, helped me in and out of a wonderfully warm bath, and then laid me back down on the bed and kissed me so softly and lovingly I forgot all the terrible, terrible things I'dfound out about myself, about my family, that evening. He'd whispered words of love and comfort over and over, and sent wave after wave of emotion into me till both of us were more relaxed and blissfully happy than we'd been in months.

Then we'd got…carried away – and missed the plane.

But that hadn't mattered. Jasper had growled so furiously at the young man who'd disturbed us to try and sell us breakfast that he'd scurried away in terror and hadn't dared disturb us again– and we spent another quiet morning alone together, discussing everything that I'd been shutting away the previous night. Our plane arrived, andonce we reached New York we decided not to bother with the bus and simply run the rest of the way back to Ithaca, back to our family.

It felt like only yesterday…but in reality, all of it happened nearly a month ago. And before I knew it, it was the twenty-fifth of December.

Edward did not return for Christmas. We received a brief phone call that morning, during which he explained to me about the one thing in particular that I'd been seeing him do for the past few weeks. Edward had never been much of a tracker, so I was confused to see that _that_ was what he seemed to be spending most of his time doing lately.

"Victoria," he'd said, simply, in reply to my questioning, sounding no different from the last time I'd seen him.

"That's what – that's who – I've been tracking."

"And have you…?"

"No. I haven't found her yet. But I will."

I didn't tell him this – but from what my visions told me, I doubted he would. Edward had never been any good at tracking...

* * *

Christmas was never really a big occasion for us – Carlisle had, after all, celebrated over three hundred of them – Iwas usually the one who made them a worthwhile celebratory affair. I _loved _Christmas. Best of all, it always gave me an excuse for endless shopping trips for presents and gifts.

This year though…I just wasn't into it like I usually was.

Nevertheless, I cut paper chains and strung them round the house, hung little sprigs of holly over each doorway, and carefully decorated a small fake Christmas tree – but the gestures were mechanical, routine. My mind was on other things. Other worries.

My human life. Jasper. Bella. And Edward, constantly, _constantly_ Edward – all the futures fuzzy and distorted, all the questions my family asked me again and again staying infuriatingly blank and unanswered.

On Christmas Eve though, something interesting had happened. As Esme and I hung the final wreaths above the front door, me up a ladder to reach the eaves of the porch, I saw something that surprised me so much I almost dropped my armful of greenery on top of Esme.

_Irina…my friend, our friend, __one of our good friends from Denali, as tall and willowy as ever with her corn silk streaks of hair…perched on a thick branch in a tall evergreen tree, rain sprinkling light and misted around her…with…with…_

…_skin the colour of dark chocolate…_

…_eyes rich, deep burgundy, flecked oddly with gold…_

…_Laurent…_

…Laurent…?

_Laurent _was sitting beside her, and as I watched, mind blank with surprise, he bent towards her and brushed her thin lips carefully with his own. I was so dumbfounded with shock and confusion that Esme had to ask me three times about what I'd seen before I finally replied.

_Laurent__. Wow. _I just couldn't believe it!

_Irina__ twining her arms around his neck, pulling him flush against her, both kissing peacefully for several long minutes…_

…blissfully unaware that a psychic vampire was eaves-dropping on their every action, several hundred miles away.

When it became obvious they weren't going to think about stopping anytime soon, I pulled out and returned to the present, to give them some well-deserved privacy.

After explaining everything to Esme, I probed tentatively once again into the further future, and watched Laurent and Irina hunt a bear together. A _bear_! Laurent as well! Had he really just…_converted,_ that easily? I felt a twinge of uneasiness in the pit of my stomach. Somehow, I didn't think Laurent was the sort to change his three-hundred-year-in-the-run lifestyle so quickly…

But it _was_ kind of sweet, the two of them together. Irina had never had a mate – and if it looked like Laurent was adapting to vegetarianism, it would be nice for her to finally have someone for herself. Yes. I should be happy for her. I _was _happy for her…

But I made up my mind to keep an eye on Laurent, just in case…

* * *

…time moved on…and _we _should have been moving on.

We should all have been passing through, passing _over_ what had happened. Slipping back into our normal routine; school, college, hunting, nights alone with our husbands or wives…

But we weren't. We just weren't. Life hadn't gone back to normal. Though we all _did_ the things we used to do – all the activities, the games, the work, the hunts, everything – all of it seemed…almost _fake_. Like we were all trying to pretend to each other that everything was ok, everything was back to normal, everything was fine. Fine. Just fine.

But it wasn't. And we weren't moving on. And things weren't getting better.

Even though Esme was well into her plans for the refurbishing a little broken down cottage in the forest, Carlisle receiving brilliant feedback from both of his jobs, night and day – and Emmett, Rosalie, Jasper, and me _all _studying at Cornell – something was still missing. Something…someone…

Deep down, I think we all knew what.

Edward – _Edward _was missing from our life, our family life, our school life, even our hunts. We were still incomplete. And though things were better, so, so much better than a few months back, especially with Jasper…they just weren't back to normal. There was a quietness around all of us – awkward pauses in our conversations, odd moments of dead silence – and even Emmett's roaring laughter only rumbled round the house once a week or so.

I still had trouble avoiding Bella in my visions. I never told anyone but Jasper this…but I thought of her constantly. She was always on the edge, just one blink out of sight, a split vision away – and I always had to stop her. I'd promised. I'd promised Edward.

But it got harder with every passing day. For other futures, everything was as fuzzy and indistinct as ever; Edward tracking Victoria, Carlisle getting a promotion at work, a call from Tanya in Denali…but the sights were all vague and uncertain, and could change randomly at any moment.

Jasper was studying philosophy at Cornell – and I was too, to stay as close to him as possible. Sigh. Philosophy, to me, seemed to be by far the most boring subject ever to sweep the human race – but I tried to hide this from Jasper. Having him in the same class with me made a big difference. When the lecturer waffled on for hours at a time, I could just watch Jasper. Stroke his hand, touch his arm, lean against him, nestle my face into his shoulder and breathe in his perfect, sweet scent…or just lose myself in visions of the time we might spend together tonight…

Tanya called almost every few weeks – and we were all glad for her calls. _Her_ carefully concerned, sympathetic tone made it clear she was trying very hard not to be impatient – she knew how much pain Edward was in at the moment – but all of us knew she was daring to hope once more, and would await her chance, no matter how long it took.

Having Tanya and everyone a mere phone call away from us was good, though. To have a family of friendly voices to talk to – to have some happiness, some jokes and laughs from our friends. Carlisle often had a word with Eleazar, and all of us talked via speakerphone to Carmen, Kate, and Irina – the last of whom who seemed ina much cheerier mood than usual. All of us, by now, knew why. Emmett, of course, lost no time in teasing her rotten about it, which gave us all a chance to laugh together.

_Laurent _was why. He was still with the Denalis. Having passed by several months back for a curious visit and an overview of their unusual lifestyle, he had decided instead to stay with them for a few weeks and experience vegetarianism for himself. The visit had extended to almost a whole year – mostly due to Irina, just as I'd seen. Though, not all of the family seemed too happy about this…

"I don't trust him, Alice," Tanya had told me quietly, when we had had moment to speak alone together. "He keeps…well, _slipping_ – but I don't think it's entirely accidental. So many people have died, all over town and beyond. I don't think I can stand one more 'unfortunate little slip' as he so politely puts them when he tiptoes meekly through the door afterwards. Of course _Irina _goes running to him with open arms and ready forgiveness every time, but… I don't like it, Alice. I really don't."

I'd sighed in agreement – and told her slightly reluctantly of the visions that had probed my mind since I'd decided to keep a tab on Laurent. Of him 'slipping'. They, unfortunately, _certainly_ weren't all accidents. It seemed Laurent had been doing a fair bit of cheating.

Tanya thanked me – but I felt bad all the same. Bad because I had most likely triggered the decision to kick Laurent out and separate him and Irina as soon as Tanya could manage…and that could cause problems.

More than I could possibly have realized at the time.

* * *

So much time had passed. So much.

Then why did it still feel like only yesterday I held a beautiful birthday party for my best friend that ended in utter disaster…?


	19. Chapter 15 PRESSURE PART 1

_Knight to E-five__ – he's going to take your Queen!_

Jasper's mouth split into a huge grin as he met my gaze over the shoulder of Eleazar, and reached down towards the chess board to move his queen.

"Bother, didn't see that…" Eleazar muttered, and Emmett sniggered beside me, stuffing both his fists into his mouth to stop the sound. I punched him lightly in the side to make him shut up. He grinned – a full, joking, happy Emmett-grin that had crossed his face so much less often than normal over the past months. Over the past…almost _half a year_, now.

Half a whole year…

But I wasn't going to think about that now. No mater how present in my mind it was compared to other things…right now, I had a chess game to concentrate on. A chess game to help Jasper _win_.

We were staying with Tanya, Irina, Eleazar, Carmen and Kate in their grand mansion of a house for Cornell's spring break; an invitation Tanya had been offering since the end of February…since Laurent had been sent packing.

All of us, Jasper included, were feeling better, and after just a few days here. Better than we'd felt in half a year.

Almost half a year…

No. I wasn't going to think of this now. _Chess. Think of chess, Alice_.

I grinned as I watched Jasper lean back in his seat, obviously very pleased with himself, tossing his honey-blond hair out of his eyes and catching my eye to smile, the sight lighting his face in the most beautiful of ways.

Emmett had challenged Eleazar to a chess tournament earlier this morning – and in the end all of us had turned out to watch Eleazar well and truly beat an infuriated Emmett. For fun – and probably also for revenge – Emmett had suggested Jasper play Eleazar, since they were both probably pretty evenly matched when it came to chess. This was a _big_ mistake on Eleazar's part. But for me and Emmett, and our family…it meant a whole afternoon of fun!

So I sat, my family grouped around me, who had all – of course _– _seen this trick played countless times before, and watched Jasper beat him over and over – with me mouthing Eleazar's next moves over his shoulder. Emmett had let our thoroughly amused friends in on the joke; and all watched with fervent admiration at my sneaky skill, which Tanya was finding particularly amusing.

"You are _so_ good, Jasper!" she called out from the sofa opposite the one I sat on whilst Eleazar glowered over at Jasper's pile of captured pieces. She winked at me, tossing back her strawberry blonde curls, and Rosalie joined Emmett in the sniggering. Irina and Kate both coughed loudly into their hands as I smiled sweetly back at her, leaning back in my seat. _Totally_ cool. _Totally_ innocent. No one ever suspected a thing.

I peeped quickly into the future as Eleazar moved his knight, to see what move would happen next. Jasper was eying me hopefully out of the corner of his eye as he fiddled with his castle. I checked the future quickly and then nodded, mouthing the best option.

_D-one – check him!_

Jasper swiftly turned his gaze back to the board, his cool, nonchalant expression not shifting in the slightest – but I could see the humour building up just behind his liquid gold eyes. All four Denali women were coughing unnaturally loudly. Esme buried her face in Carlisle's shoulder, shaking with silent laughter. Emmett was shooting me triumphantlooks of revenge in between loud sniggers. Eleazar was growling out streams of curses in Spanish as he pored over the board.

"I don't believe it, any second and this'll be the _fourth game _you've beaten me on…"

Jasper leant back in his chair, near-devastatingly handsome with both scarred hands rested behind his head, smiling proudly at me over Eleazar's shoulder whilst Eleazar growled and Carlisle choked back laughter.

"I do enjoy chess, don't you, darlin'?"

I didn't dare answer in case I exploded into laughter, so I settled for coughing along with the rest of our audience, and nodding enthusiastically in agreement as Eleazar made his move. The outcome of the game that appeared before me was clear and sharp.

_Castle to B-7, _I mouthed carefully. _Then queen to C-six, and you'll have him cornered!_

Eleazar moved his king one space to the right. Jasper's grin widened victoriously and he leant forward and flicked his queen into its final position.

"Check mate."

Eleazar's mouth dropped.

"B - but -!" he spluttered "But _you_…I…_how_…!"

He trailed off, voice drowned by the deafening chorus of coughing that sounded from every mouth in the room. Jasper had both arms wrapped round his chest, shaking with silent laughter. Eleazar turned round slowly to face the rest of the room.

"What the -?"

I couldn't help it. The sight of polite, sophisticated Eleazar's utterly bewildered, helpless face gazing wildly round the room was one of the funniest things I'd seen in…way too long. I just couldn't hold back any longer.

I burst into peels of laughter, followed almost instantly by Emmett's roar – and soon everyone in the room aside from Eleazar himself was clutching his side and rolling around in his seat with laughter.

Jasper joined in as happily as everyone else – and I struggled to control my flow of uncontrollable giggles to watch him. His face was _beautiful _– radiant, when he laughed. I could have gazed at him all day. All the hardness, the shame, the dark lines set into his features – all of it vanished in the blink of an eye, and he looked over at me with full-blown happiness spreading over his face like the sun coming out. Eleazar gazed in complete bewilderment round at us all.

"What in the _world - ?_"

"_Alice!_" choked Emmett, pointing a shaking finger at me, and my heart sank. _Uh-oh_. "_Alice_…next moves…_four games_…Jasper…made _win_…_ha, ha, ha_ -!"

He went off into a fresh roar of laughter as Eleazar's eyes turned to rest on me – and widened in horrified disbelief. I desperately struggled to control my laughter, moulding my face into the most heartbreakingly innocent pout I could muster. His eyes narrowed.

"Why you _little -!_"

"Jazz, help me!" I sang, still giggling as I sprung up from my seat and made a dash for the door – but Eleazar was too fast. His strong, practised hands fastened round my waist and shoulders and he dragged me back into the room while I squealed and flailed around trying to free myself. I heard Esme stand up.

"All right, all right you two! Mind Tanya's furniture, and Jasper mind the chess bo-!"

_Crash._

"- oh _Jasper!_"

Another pair of hands – warm and familiar, this time – grabbed me from the side, and suddenly I was in Jasper's arms, shoved behind his tall, lean form to protect me from Eleazar. He snarled – but the sound was playful, daring. Jasper crouched and grinned, still fighting back laughter.

"You can't honestly be hoping to get past _me,_ Eleazar…"

Eleazar grinned back, still growling, pushing his hair out of his pure gold eyes. "Oh yes? Half a century with the Volturi didn't teach me _nothing, _you know, Jasper -!"

"_Boys!_" commanded Esme, striding over to place herself firmly between my husband and attacker. "Not here_,_ there are far too many _breakable_ things around you can sort this out later, outside…"

_Ha__, _I thought, grinning triumphantly, _there you go, Eleazar, you…you…_

…_you…_

"Aw, Esme, please…"

_You…_

"…could all do with some action after all that _chess…_"

_Oh…_

"…you could do with action all day, Emmett…Alice…?"

_Oh…_

"…Alice…?"

…_oh…_

"…_Alice…?_"

* * *

I shouldn't look.

I shouldn't let it through.

I should block my mind and block the future and push away the sight of my once-best friend that had shoved uncontrollably in front of my eyes…

But I didn't.

I didn't.

"…Alice, what is it…?"

I broke my promise. I broke it without thinking twice, and stared in utter amazement at the vision that thrust with impossible force and certainty to the front of my mind…

_Bella, standing atop __a huge, black cliff, bare feet shuffling towards the edge, the wind ruffling her hair, spray splattering across her face, tossed up from the restless, churning, deep water below…_

_What?_

"…Alice, love…?"

"Is she having a vision? What's going on?"

I heard Tanya's confused voice questioning vaguely in the background, but I wasn't listening. I was hearing the _crash_ and _roar_ of the _gigantic waves_, _smashing them_ _against the cliff_ _where Bella stood_…

_She looked__ so peaceful. She smiled, closing her eyes, her feet creeping to the edge of the black rock, the water below tossing and churning with its powerful currents, and I knew the vision was seconds away, so close in the future, and I must have been more distracted than I'd thought by the chess game…_

_What the hell are you doing? _I screamed mentally at my idiot of a friend.

"…Alice? Darlin', what is it, what's wrong_…?_"

"She won't…" I whispered, as Bella's smile grew, widened like a madman's and her toes caressed the very edge of the cliff. "She won't…she _can't_…"

_Bella bending__ her knees, spreading her arms out like a diving champion…_

"She won't…"

…_that deranged smile still wide on her soaking wet face…_

"She _won't…_"

…can't…

…_can't…_

_And then Bella flung herself off the cliff. _

* * *

"_NO!_"

My scream mingled with my best friend's, present and future, bliss and horror, as down she fell…

"_Alice?_"

"_No…!_"

_Down, __down, to the black water…_

"…Alice, please, _please_, what do you see…?"

_Down, down, down…_

"…Alice...?"

_Her eyes closed in pleasure like she was happy to throw herself to death… _

"…Alice…?"

_The water smashing against the walls of stone, never ending, unstoppable, impossible to survive… _

"_…Alice…?_"

_Then Bella's body cut through the water like a knife, and she vanished from my sight. _

_I began to wait._

_And wait._

_And wait…_

"No…" I whispered uselessly. My family were all talking at once, but I wasn't listening. "No…_no_…"

_And wait…_

"_Alice?_" Jasper's voice was desperate now. "Alice, please, _please_ tell me what's wrong…"

_And wait…_

…_a__nd wait._

_Nothing._


	20. Chapter 15 PRESSURE PART 2

I couldn't believe it.

Couldn't._ Couldn't. _She wasn't…she couldn't be…_couldn't _be…

I clung to the pair of hands that had somehow clasped themselves around mine, frantically beginning to push further into the future, Bella's future, not caring I was breaking my promise, just searching, _searching_…

Nothing.

Blank.

Blocked.

Blank.

Nothing.

"_No…_"

I rammed forward as hard as I could, fighting the black, but her future was gone, blocked, blank…I tried to see her climbing up out of the water, tried to see her going home to Charlie, maybe drying her hair with a towel, reading a book, going to school, sleeping in her own bed…but the visions wouldn't come, _couldn't _come…!

Like she was just…gone…

Gone…

…_dead_…

"No, no, _NO!_"

I slammed back to the present with a jolt, falling back in my seat to meet the scared gazes of my family and friends, all crouched around me. I seemed to be half-lying, half-sitting, propped up by several pairs of arms, on the wooden floor of the Denali's living room. Jasper was clutching both my hands, while Esme had an arm on my shoulder. They all leant closer as my eyes slowly, slowly re-focussed.

"Alice," Carlisle spoke first, quietly, voice shaking with dread. "Alice, what did you see?"

I couldn't speak. I couldn't seem to get my brain to focus.

"Alice," Jasper questioned in a trembling voice. "Please, darlin', please, tell me what's wrong, what's the matter …?"

My mind wouldn't work. My thoughts had jammed, halfway to my brain. The sight of Bella disappearing into the water was plastered in front of my eyes….

She couldn't be…

She wasn't…

…_dead…_

_I would have felt it_, I thought frantically. Felt…_something_. She was my best friend…or used to be…I would have known. _Known_, somehow. Felt it.

_She was going to be my sister…_

But now…

…now she was gone…

"I have to go," I whispered, without thinking. "Go…_go…_"

Then my brain seemed to restart again so fast it was like someone had flicked a switch –what had happened, what I'd seen, what was going on, what I had to _do…!_

"I have to _go!_" I burst out, and suddenly I was on my feet and leaping towards the stairs – but Jasper was faster. He caught me in his arms as I half-fell up the steps.

"Alice –"

"Let me go, Jazz, _let me past_ -!"

"Alice –!"

"- Alice -!"

The voices of my family were all around me, anxious and bewildered as they gathered round Jasper struggling with me.

"Jazz, _let me_ _go, _we have to go back, back to her, back now_, now_…!"

I managed to shove him aside and leapt up the stairs three at a time. I crashed into my bedroom, hardly registering Jasper's calming voice from downstairs murmuring to the others, because I had to get to Bella, find Bella, be with Bella…

"I'll talk to her, wait here, let me…"

I grabbed a bag, the first one I laid my eyes on, and ripped open my wardrobe. I dragged out a handful of clothes, stuffing them into the bag, then sprinted to the desk drawers…

"Alice!" I heard Jasper call from the doorway, but I ignored him and yanked out a sheave of notes and coins from the little drawer…

"Alice, _wait _-!"

"I can't talk now, Jasper, we have to hurry, _hurry_, get the passports…!" I said frantically as I grabbed a purse from my dressing table, ignoring his pleas and pushing him away when he tried to stop me, muttering absentmindedly….

"Money…clothes…license…"

I found my passport and Jasper's and stuffed it into the bag…

"_Alice_, wait, please, _wait_ -!"

"…coats…"

I grabbed a coat for both of us, and then headed towards the bedroom door, slipping my feet into shoes…

"Alice_ stop!_"

Jasper caught me in his arms, dragging me back determinedly when I tried to push him away.

"_Jazz,_ you don't understand, she's _gone_, she's blank_,_ she's gone, _I can't find her_ -!"

"Alice, please, just wait a second…"

"I _can't!_" I wailed, struggling against his restraining arms. A wave of calmness washed through me; warm, lilting, lulling me into submission…

"No!" I shouted, trying to pull away. "Jasper, stop it, _stop it! _You don't understand – we've got to go now or it'll be too late, _come on,_ let's find your shoes _we've got to go_ -!"

"Alice."

Jasper pushed me up against a wall – gently, but very firmly. Calm flooded into me so forcefully I gasped. I was about to shout at him to stop – but I felt so suddenly…peaceful…so contented, easy, relaxed…I couldn't bring myself to. I groaned, feebly shoving at his chest.

"_Jazz…_"

"I'm not stopping," he said, his breathing fast, but his face torn with worry and suppressed fear. "Not until you tell me what you saw, Alice. _Please_. Tell me. Your face…"

He trailed off, shaking his head, lost for words.

"Tell me. _Please_."

I struggled, glaring as another wave of tranquillity washed through me. I collapsed back against the wall, and Bella's face floated to my mind, smiling that awful, twisted smile of deranged joy as she leapt from the cliff…

A tiny, choked half-sob burst from my lips at the memory.

"Jazz," I choked. "I saw _her_. I saw Bella and…and she jumped off a cliff. _Jumped,_ not fell. _Deliberately_. She was…_happy_…"

"You saw Bella?"

Jasper's face was blank with shock. He stared down at me in horror. "Alice, you _promised_ _–!_"

"Jazz, I couldn't _stop_ it, it came and I couldn't make it go, I tried not to, but I couldn't help it…!"

"You shouldn't have seen it!"

"_Jazz!_" I half-shouted in exasperation. "What matters now isn't what I saw, it's what we _do _about it, and if we don't go now, we're going to miss the plane, there's one in just an hour, I've seen it, but if we miss it –!"

"But Alice, where are we _going_..?"

"To_ Forks_, of course!" I practically yelled, the calmness almost completely drained from my body. I thrust him away with all my might – and succeeded. I was pulling on my shoes when Jasper's voice came from behind me again.

"Back to _Forks_."

"Yes," I said, fastening up my last shoe and grabbing my bag. "I've got us all packed, now let's go, Jazz, come on -!"

I reached for the door.

"Alice."

I yanked it open and turned round to grab his hand in mine.

"_Alice._"

I stopped dead, in the act of pulling him through the door, my hand entwined in his. Something about his voice was different. Hollow. Empty. Suddenly…completely decided.

I turned round very slowly, warily, to peep at his face.

"…Jazz?"

He stared at me wordlessly, shaking his head.

"Alice I…we _promised_…"

"Well, I'm breaking that promise," I said, sharper than I'd meant too, surprising even myself. Jasper shook his head again slowly, uselessly…

"Alice, love, I…I can't."

I opened my mouth to protest – then realised what he'd said.

"…you…what?"

He took a deep breath…then went on in a hollow, robotic voice.

"I promised him. I promised Edward. I swore I'd never, _ever_…and you did to. And…I _can't _go back."

"But -!"

"I ruined his life for him, Alice. Ruined all our lives. And you going back there…Alice, love, it's not going to help anything. Not going to help…_her_."

His voice broke on the last word. He took step back, but I clung to his hand, refusing to accept it.

"But, Jazz -!"

"Alice."

I stopped pulling, and gazed up at his expressionless face, so far above mine.

"Nothing you say will change my mind," he said, flatly. "Nothing. I'm not coming with you. I can't. Not now."

"But _Jazz_ –!"

"You promised, Alice. You should stay to – it's for the best. Truly, it is."

"Jasper, please," I pleaded, trying to pull him towards the door – I couldn't go without him, couldn't do this _alone_. "You've got to understand, I don't have a choice, she's –"

"Dead, yes."

"Don't say that -!"

"But it's the truth."

"_Jazz-!_"

"No."

I heaved on his arm.

"But -!"

"No_._"

"_Jasper -!_"

I didn't have time to finish my sentence. Jasper reached up with his other hand, took hold of mine, and tore it off his own, throwing it back towards me – making me stumble.

"_No_," he said, in a voice like ice, stepping away from me back into the bedroom.

I couldn't speak. My hand seemed to burn from where he'd ripped it away from his. I stared at him wordlessly – and he stared emotionlessly back. It felt like a cold hand had clenched over my heart.

I knew it wasn't what I thought it was. I knew, from Jasper's half-hopeful, half-expectant expression he now wore that he thought if _he _refused, so would I. That if _he_ stayed…I would never dare go without him. Never, ever dare betray our brother, betray Edward…alone. And I knew, of course, why he wouldn't – _couldn't_ go back.

But I had nothing to say. No decision to change. No matter what Jasper thought I'd do…I was going.

Without him.

I turned away, walked out of the room, glided down the stairs as fast as I could without running, and headed for the front door before anything could change my mind.

My family's voices drifted to me as if from a long, long way away, and I felt hands brush against me as I opened the door. But I ignored the sounds, hardly hearing them. When someone grabbed my arm, I yanked it away hard and swiftly pushed my way out the door. Then I slammed it in my family's bewildered faces, and set off running for the airport.


	21. Chapter 16 PARIS

I couldn't sit still for a second throughout the whole, agonizingly long plane journey. Several times, one or other of the flight attendants would ask me whether I was all right as I jittered up and down in my seat, unable to keep still for a second, eyes flitting from focussed to unfocussed as I scanned the future for any sign of what I might find in Forks – but there was none. Everything, aside from the blank nothingness that was Bella's future, was as blurred and uncertain as ever.

A few flashes of Jasper _had_ appeared, face sick with pain and voice cracked and shaking, explaining to our friends and family what had happened, what I'd seen – and what I'd gone to do.

Hours later, as the flight finally, _finally _came in to land, and the flight attendant's voice sang out through the plane for everyone to please fasten their seatbelts – I thought, for the first time since the terrible vision, of Edward.

_Oh Edward._

He had to know. Edward had to be told. _We_ had to tell him. Sometime, somehow, someday…we had to tell him – or he would find it out for himself. Edward had to know...

…_h__ow were any of us ever going to be able to break it to him…?_

I don't know what I expected to find when I reached Forks.

Maybe that something had…well…_changed_. That it would feel different, somehow – a stranger's town, our home no longer – but it didn't. The paint-cracked broken sign 'Welcomed me to Forks' just the same as always as I passed it on my way to Bella's house, bag by my feet, hands on the glossy steering wheel of Carlisle's Mercedes. Nothing…_nothing_ had changed. And in an odd way…it felt _good. _This place still held so many happy memories. The happiest of my life with my family. It felt good. _Right_.

It felt like home.

The dry, aching twinge in my throat was starting to bother me a lot, though. It'd been much too long since I'd hunted. I'd considered running the rest of the journey to Bella's house from the airport. It would be safer; for me and any unsuspecting humans that might cross my path – but in the end, the ever-increasing desperation to reach my destination quickly overpowered the growing, burning ache in my throat.

But as I continued my journey through Forks, driving well over the speed limit with the darkening woods on either side of the road flying past me in a mad blur…I started to consider for the first time what exactly I would find when I reached the Swan home. Charlie, crying on the couch? Suspicious old Billy Black comforting him? Angela, Mike, Jessica and the others, all crowded round to find out the news, found out what was going on, where Bella was, what had happened, when she was coming back, why she wasn't anywhere to be found…

I clamped my teeth over my trembling lower lip, struggling against sobs. Bella. _Bella. _Oh why, why,_ why_ had she done it, _why_ had she jumped, _why_ had she done it all with such a willing, deliberate, _happy_ manner…?

Why had she killed herself?

The sob that escaped my lips before I could stop it was choked and broken – because I knew the answer. I'd known right from the beginning; known she wouldn't be able to cope, known that Bella Swan had loved my brother like Carlisle loved Esme, like Emmett loved Rosalie…like I loved Jasper.

The thought of anything, _anything _separating me from my husband, reserved and icy-voiced as he was in my most recent memory now, was unbearable. I couldn't begin to imagine the insanity that would certainly follow if he ever even thought to do what Edward had done to her, made her think she wasn't good enough for him, made her realise it had all been a pretence, that he was leaving and never, never coming back…

I couldn't think it. I couldn't even begin to imagine.

But my best friend had suffered just that. Suffered through it all.

Now I thought about it…now I swapped the two of us round, put myself in Bella's place, and Jasper in Edward's…was it really such a surprise to me that she had done what she'd done?

How she'd managed to survive even this long without him was beyond me…but then, perhaps she done it for Charlie. Renee, too. Maybe her friends at school? Had she thought Edward _was_ coming back, truly that one day that he would return?

I had no way of knowing. Now, no way of _ever _knowing. Because Bella…

…Bella was dead.

I covered my mouth to stem the flow of suddenly ravaging sobs that were now shaking from my body. _Bella Swan_…what had my best friend, so kind and caring and selfless in every way, ever done to deserve what my stupid, hopeless, desperate brother had done to her? Poor helpless, _human_ Bella…

Maybe Edward, in a way, had been right. Maybe she _had _been better off without us. Maybe if a psychic vampire hadn't had the visions of perfect weather conditions in a small town named Forks, and she hadn't encouraged her family of vampires to move there without a second thought…maybe Bella Swan would still be happily living her blissful, safe, _human _life today. Maybe she wouldn't be dead. And maybe it wouldn't be all our fault…

Or even…_mine…_?

Already, I could hear Jasper's voice in my head as I stopped the car and slipped quietly out of it's cool, clean interior to cross the road towards Charlie Swan's small white house. I could see my husband taking me in his arms, that furious, protective glow in his amber eyes, see him curling his body round mine in comfort, hear his voice hissing out furious, defiant words…

"_Never, Alice, never must you think that. Never must you blame yourself. __It's only natural that people feel the need to take the blame for another's death – especially if they were close to that person, but Alice…Alice, you must never, never take any of this on yourself. If…if it's anyone's…if it's anyone's fault then it's the weak, uncontrollable monster who's ruled by his thirsty instincts day and night no matter how hard he tries to restrain them, sitting here comforting you…"_

And I smiled, in spite of myself, through my quiet crying, as I stepped over the road and through the gate into the Swan residence, at how unjust, how _hideously_ unfair it was that I should still have such a selfless, perfect husband, while my once-sister-to-be rotted away in Forks cemetery…

I tried hard to stop my blubbering as I darted down the garden path and up to the front door of the house, even though the future was clear; Charlie wasn't home. Where he had gone exactly, though, was still oddly distorted, fuzzy, blanked…but I reached out for the door handle, and pressed it downwards without a moment's thought.

To my surprise, the unlocked door swung open to reveal the inside of a house that hadn't changed one bit in the last half of a year.

Still trying to stem my flow of dry-tears, I stepped inside and let the door swing shut behind me. The room was plunged into darkness.

I reached out an automatic hand to switch on the light, knowing exactly where to find it, just as if I'd been here yesterday, maybe on a visit with Edward to see my friend, or just returned from a shopping trip with her…

_We were going to have so much fun together…_

The light flooded the room, and I drifted forward like a zombie, walking through to the kitchen where dirty plates piled the sink and two mugs sat cold and empty on the wooden table. I moved through the little living room, briefly glancing over the rather ragged looking sofa and the TV sitting silently on standby, before turning to step up the stairs to the first floor.

I left Charlie's room, but glanced in on the bathroom, unable to resist a squint at Bella's make-up and other human beauty supplies – but there were none. A hairbrush and small tube of face cream had Bella's scent hanging faintly around them, but the rest were Charlie's. Bella obviously either hadn't had time – or hadn't cared – about what she'd looked during the past months…

New visions were playing at the edges of my sight, but I ignored them, moving out of the bathroom to the final room of the upstairs – Bella's bedroom.

The room was an eerie mixture of old and new. It was still her bedroom – still it had her desk, her bed with the purple coverings, her neat little laptop and chair…but it felt and looked all wrong. Her CD's were all gone; a large bare patch lying on a shelf where they had once been. Several other objects were missing; random spots of nothing dotted around the dark room over surfaces and shelves. On opening the wardrobe, I saw her sparse items of clothing folded in unnaturally neat, dull-coloured piles on top of each other – like Bella had spent hours creasing each edge, her hands searching for something, anything to do, just to keep them moving…just to keep them alive. The bed was neat, mechanically made, but as I moved to brush a finger over the edge of her desk, I saw it was encrusted with a thick layer of dust.

Whether this had been in its a normal state, or Bella had just been about to clean didn't matter…it didn't change how the room felt. Empty. Bare. Cold. Like the feeling, the emotion, the happy memories, had all been wiped away. Like they'd vanished forever, along with the person who'd made them and kept them going…

Like someone had died.

My sobs were gone now. I stood still in the centre of Bella's grave-like bedroom, blank with the horrible feeling of the room, colder than I'd felt in months, trying to get my brain and thoughts to start working again so I could decide what to do next – even to wonder where Charlie was, and everyone else…

After several minute of still standing and thinking, I blinked slowly – and woke from my stupor. I turned round and walked as quickly as I could out of the room, shutting it firmly behind me, and made my way downstairs once more, turning off the lights as I went.

I went to the kitchen, leaving the light of this room on, and flopped down on a chair. I sank my head into my arms.

_What was I doing here…?_

The question reverberated round and round my head, over and over…and I thought of Jasper.

_Jazz…Jazz, what am I doing here__? Why did I even consider coming…?_

He'd been right, I realised with an aching pang of regret. He'd been right. There was nothing here. Nothing for me to do, nothing to help with, no one, nothing. What was me being here going to do for anyone? Bring back unwanted memories? Upset, or even _anger_ Charlie?

Charlie…

Where _was _Charlie?

My eyes fell on the pile of dirty dishes, and the two unwashed mugs. Automatic instincts welled. I got up from my seat, grabbed the two mugs, reached for the stack of plates lying beside the draining board, and began to run the water to fill the sink.

_Wh__ere were Charlie and the others? Where was…everyone…?_

I flipped through different friends Bella had had at her school in my mind, and decided on Angela. I closed my eyes as I emptied washing up liquid into the water and began to scrub the inside of a mug with a brush…

_Angela, sitting at her desk__ in a small, pale blue-walled bedroom, reading Huckleberry Finn and jotting down notes on a stack of paper held by a ring binder…her Mum calling her…"dinner's ready, sweetie!"…Angela munching down supper…more sheets of homework…_

I frowned as the visions blurred and faded. So Angela didn't know what had happened…not yet at least. But maybe Jessica, always so ready with gossip and news…?

_Jessica and __Mike, eating burgers and chips at a diner, arguing playfully over what dessert to order, paying the bill…Mike driving her home…both finishing various Calculus papers…_

_So they don't know either_, I thought, as I piled the sparklingly clean dishes onto the draining board. Odd…

Charlie. Charlie would know, for sure – Bella must have been missing for a good several hours, and he'd always been so protective of her. _And Charlie liked me_, I thought with a strained half-smile. He'd be willing to talk, at least just a little.

I placed the final mug upside down on the side, dumped the rubber gloves over the sink and turned to sink down again at the kitchen table, closing my eyes and drifting this time into Charlie's future.

The chair I'd been drawing out to sit down on fell to the floor with a crash.

_Blan__k._

_Blocked._

_Blank._

_Nothing…_

…_oh no, not Charlie too, please, not Charlie too…!_

…no…_no_, Charlie was there, not quite as blank as Bella had been, flickering in and out of focus, _blank_ and then visible, _blank_, blocked, then there again, his far off future clear and bright, but his _immediate_…

…_blank…_

…_blocked…_

…_blank…_

I grasped around blindly for the chair, finding it and setting it straight again, then stumbling out of the kitchen door, the future blurring my vision and making my head spin…_argh…_

…_blank…then there again__…blank…and sharp…Charlie…Bella…_

_Bella…_

_BELLA…_

…_but how…?_

...impossible…

…_and yet…_

_There she was. _

In a flickering, changing, shifting, unsure vision in the not too distant future…

…_Bella stepping__ through the front door, catapulting into my arms…  
_I gasped in shock, stumbling over to the stairs and sinking down, one hand against my head as the visions tumbled over one another, none of them fixed because the decisions weren't yet made, I couldn't see, _couldn't see_…

…and then I heard, and this was _present_, not future…a car drawing up outside…

But then…

…_another possible future…Bella _didn't _tumble through the door of her house…staying blank and blocked…the future shifting again as decisions wavered…_

...voices, from the car, and I stumbled upwards again, grasping for the light switch to turn it off and avoid suspicion just in case…

…_wouldn't get out of the__…the…_car, I supposed_…wouldn't come through the door…Bella…_

…and _ugh_, my head ached, and I couldn't see, couldn't see…

…a low, husky voice talking from outside, from what must be the car…'sorry…know you don't feel exactly the way I do, Bells'…

_Bells…_

…and then through the visions, and sweeping black the hallway was now plunged in…

…not one heartbeat…but _two _heartbeats…and I recognized…

It couldn't be. _Couldn't be_…but Bella's future slowly, oh so slowly, began to fade again, began to be covered with the blank blanket of nothing, of blocking…

And then the future changed so suddenly I almost toppled over backwards from the full force of it.

"OH! Holy _crap!_"

I staggered back against the wall of the hallway, one hand still pressed to my temple, but the voice that came next, the one that matched that familiar heartbeat, and oh help, _what was going on…?_

"What's wrong?"  
_Bella…_

An engine sputtered into life, and the husky voice spat out one word.

"_Vampire._"

I froze.

Then very, very slowly, as both the husky and the impossible Bella-voice threw fast, urgent words at each other, I pushed myself as calmly as I could away from the wall, and stood facing the door in the pitch black. My thoughts wouldn't make sense, my brain jammed to a halt, but the visions, on the other hand…

"Stop! Stop!"

Bella…

"What?"

Husky growler…I didn't like the sound of him, whoever he was…

"…Carlisle's car! It's the Cullens, I know it!"

My unbeating heart plummeted. And the future…

_Bella half falling through the door…_

"…no danger…"

…_crashing into me…gasping, __sobbing…_

"Yeah…calm…"

…"_Alice, oh Alice!"…_

…but how…how…_how…?_

"…not a trick, it's Carlisle, take me back!"

But she _wasn't…_

"…we can't be caught…"

"Jake, it's not a war -!"

Hurried voices, then the sound of a car door opening, someone climbing out…

"Bye Bells."

The words were spat, acidic and bitter, and my fists clenched automatically at the sound…

"I really hope you don't die."

Then the car engine was restarted yet again, and as one heartbeat ran off into the woods, the other drove the car back towards Charlie's house.

I had no time to think. I simply stood, blank with so many half-formed plans and thoughts and emotions I couldn't get my brain to stand still, head aching from the visions, a frozen white form in front of the inside of Bella's front door…

The car stopped. And someone…Bella…_Bella…_got out. Steps moved from the road up towards the house, up the porch steps, the heartbeat thumping louder, the scent stronger, and my mouth watered with venom for a second as my thirst got the better of me...

Then the door opened. And someone…something…or just maybe, possibly, _impossibly _Bella…stepped inside.


	22. Chapter 17 VISITOR PART 1

My hand reached out – and I flicked on the light.

Thin, trembling, and smelling strongly of a slightly odd mixture of wet-dog and salt, with her large brown eyes blinking in the sudden light, Bella Swan stood staring in amazement at my motionless form, her hair matted into the worst mess I had ever seen it in, and her clothes baggy, overlong, and agonizingly un-matching.

Her knees began to shake as I watched, knocking together so she could barely stand, and I was just thinking maybe I should step closer and catch her in case she fell – when she hurled herself at me.

"Alice, oh _Alice!_" she cried, collapsing on top of me.

"_Bella?_"

The one word I could think of to say was mingled with both relief, confusion and a million other emotions as Bella locked her arms around me, burying her face in my shoulder and gasping out words I couldn't understand, almost like she was trying to inhale as much of my scent as possible. I held her against me, dumbfounded, unable to speak, unable to believe it…

Until my vampire instincts got the better of me.

No scent like Bella's could be faked. No sweet, succulent smell could enemate from a hallucination or vision, or anything remotely unreal. Bella was real, and solid…

And unbearably mouth-watering.

I struggled to swallow the excess flow of venom collecting in my mouth as I gently tried to push Bella away – but she clung on in a surprisingly strong grip, gasping and sobbing against my shoulder, while her hair wafted just under my nose. I leant as far away from her as was possible, stopped breathing, and then dragged her as carefully as I could into the living room and onto the sofa.

Bella curled up against me, still clutching my arms in a vice-like grip, her tears soaking my shirt. Her scent, oddly marred with that unpleasant doggy-ish smell, but still appetizing, wafted around me. I clamped my jaw together and tried to ignore the flames searing my throat while I rocked her from side to side in as soothing a way as I could manage. My thirst would have to wait. Have to. _Have_ to…

"I'm…sorry!" Bella blubbered against my shoulder. "I'm just…so happy…to see you!"

"Its okay, Bella," I said soothingly, trying to keep the strained note out of my voice as I rubbed her back in a calming rhythm. "Everything's ok."

"_Yes!_" she bawled, and from the way she said it, something told me things hadn't been ok for a very, very long time. _Oh Bella, Bella, Bella…_

"I'd forgotten how exuberant you are," I sighed sadly, unable to stop myself sounding slightly disapproving.

Bella drew back to wipe her eyes and try to stem her seemingly endless flow of tears, her face red from crying. Venom swelled in my mouth at the sight of her deliciously flushed face and I stained farther away, clenching my fists against her back. She noticed.

"_Oh_," she gasped, in realisation. "…sorry!"

"It's my fault," I sighed truthfully, through my clenched teeth. "It's been too long since I hunted. I shouldn't let myself get so thirsty, but I was in a hurry today."

I glared then, unable to help myself. "_Speaking of which_, would you like to explain to me how you're alive?"

That stopped her. Bella's mouth dropped; realisation hitting her yet again.

"You saw me fall," she said, blankly.

"No," I disagreed, my eyes narrowing. "I saw you _jump._"

_And you've got some serious explaining to do, girl, _I added mentally.

Silence, for a moment.

Bella bit her lip, eyes full of guilt as I shook my head in disbelief and wonder.

"I _told_ him," I said quietly. "I _told_ him this would happen, but he didn't believe me. 'Bella promised'," I recalled, regretting the imitation the instant it was over as Bella froze and one hand clutched her chest.

"'Don't be looking for her future either. We've done enough damage.'…but just because I'm not looking doesn't mean I don't _see_," I went on, my glare slipping a little as I thought of all the promises I had broken – _oh help, help, help, Edward was going to kill me…!_

"I wasn't keeping tabs on you, I swear, Bella!" I tried hurriedly to explain. "It's just that I'm already attuned to you – when I saw you jumping, I didn't think, I just got on a plane! I knew it would be too late, but I couldn't do _nothing_. And then I get here, thinking maybe I could help Charlie somehow, and _you_ drive up!"

I shook my head, my voice straining higher with every word. "I saw you go into the water and I waited and waited for you to come up, but you didn't – what _happened?_ And how could you do that to Charlie? Did you stop and think what this would do to him, and my brother, do you have any idea what _Edward_ - ?"

"_Alice,_" Bella interrupted, her expression relaxing suddenly into immense relief. "I wasn't committing suicide."

My glare returned – suspicious this time. "Are you saying you _didn't _jump off a cliff…?"

"No…" She grimaced. "But it was for…recreational purposes only."

I narrowed my eyes again. _Recreational _cliff diving?What kind of idiots did _that_ for fun…?

…t hen I realised the answer was sitting right in front of me, pink faced and still making my mouth water with every passing second. Lost idiots. _Dead_ idiots. Idiots who'd had their hearts broken and their love torn away from them in a single moment. One idiot in particular…who'd been through goodness-knows what since we'd left. An idiot I couldn't help feeling a fresh pang of love and joy for, as I saw, without a doubt, that Bella was just as alive and kicking as ever before, and sitting right in front of me.

My emotions were a total mess; happiness and relief, anger and resentment, fear and worry, and self-disappointment – because it seemed that, for the first time ever, my beloved talent could have been very, very wrong…

"I'd seen some of Jacob's friends cliff diving," Bella tried to explain. "It looked like fun, and I was bored…"

I waited. She fumbled to try and make me understand, flicking her hair out of her face and sending another wave of that awful doggy smell towards me.

"I didn't think about how the storm would affect the currents. Actually, I didn't think about the water much at all..."

She trailed off, peeping at me apprehensively as I folded my arms, seeing that I didn't buy it. She sighed – and seemed to decide to go for a different tact. "Ok, so…if you saw me go in, why didn't you see Jacob?"

I frowned, confused. Who was _Jacob?_ I thought back to the husky voiced 'Jake' I'd heard her speaking to outside, the one whose car was impossible to see…

"It's true I probably would have drowned if Jacob hadn't jumped in after me. Well, ok, there's no probably about it. But he did, and he pulled me out, and I guess he towed me back to shore, though I was kind of out for that part. It couldn't have been more than a minute that I was under before he grabbed me. How come you didn't see that?"

My frown deepened at the reminder of my so-seeming imperfect vision. There was something…not quite right about this.

"Someone…pulled you out?" I confirmed slowly.

"Yes." She smiled slightly. "Jacob saved me."

_Jacob_…where had I heard that name before? Was it…Edward, yes, that was right, Edward had mentioned it…hadn't Jacob been that Quiluete boy at the prom last year? Wasn't he the son of…the son of…

…of suspicious old_ Billy Black_…?

Taking care to inhale only the unpleasant side of Bella's flowery scent, I leant towards her and sniffed tentatively at her shoulder. She froze, her heartbeat accelerating to about three times its normal speed.

"Don't be ridiculous," I muttered, feeling slightly hurt at her mistrust of my self-control. _Honestly. _I wasn't all that bad! I inhaled again, deeper this time, ignoring the burn that spasmed down my throat and trying to remember what Edward and Carlisle had said about the Quiluetes, about the tribe, about the descendants, about the sons, the young boys, when they reached a certain age…

"What are you doing?" Bella asked, still sounding wary. I shook my head slowly, thoughtfully, frowning as I drew back from her shoulder and trying not to wrinkle my nose from the disgusting stench.

"Who was with you out there just now?" I asked as casually as I could. "It sounded like you were arguing."

The smile returned to Bella's tear-stained face. "Jacob Black. He's…sort of my best friend, I guess."

_Oh._

Best friend. Of course. She would have made a new one sometime in the past half-year I'd been absent from her life…

I still couldn't help the small sting of jealousy that ran through me. _Best friend, best friend…_that was _my _part. My line. _I was supposed to play that role…_

"At least…" Bella was saying, "he was…"

She trailed off, her smile fading – but I hardly noticed. I was far too deep in thought. Thoughts of what I'd been told, what Edward and Carlisle especially had told Jasper and I when we'd joined them, all those years back; the warnings, cautions about the tribe, the Uley's, the Ateara's, the _Black's…_

No. _No_. It was impossible, silly, stupid – they hadn't even been sure it was _happening _anymore, and besides, where was my proof, or evidence besides the…_stink _enemating off Bella's usually clean and fragrant skin? Ok, so it wasn't like I knew much about…_their kind…_but there was simply no way…no way…

…_was there…?_

I glanced up at my waiting friend with new eyes, sitting facing me with a confused expression.

"What?" she asked warily.

"I don't know," I said, slowly. "I'm not sure what it means."

She shrugged slightly. "Well, I'm not _dead_, at least."

I rolled my eyes, suppressing a smile.

"He was a fool to think you could survive alone," I sighed. "I've never seen anyone so prone to life-threatening idiocy."

"I survived," she pointed out. I frowned again, trying to wonder how to put my suspicions to her – till a new question struck me. I leant back in my seat, folding my arms.

"So if the currents were too much for you, how did this 'Jacob' manage?"

Bella's joking expression slid off her face like running water. Panic flashed in her eyes – before she covered it with a tight, guarded expression, biting her lip.

"Jacob is…strong."

My heart plummeted.

A long silence passed. I waited; fixing Bella with my sharpest, most dubious gaze, whilst her guilty eyes grew more and more agitated by the second. She gnawed on her lip, eyebrows furrowed as though trying to solve some impossible problem, shifting nervously. Minutes passed.

And then, finally, Bella took a deep breath – and dropped the bomb.

"See he's…sort of a werewolf."


	23. Chapter 17 VISITOR PART 2

"The Quileutes turn into wolves when there are vampires around – they know Carlisle from a long time ago. Were you with Carlisle back then?"

I gawked in blank, disbelieving shock at my friend. She waited, gazing at me anxiously for a reaction, while I scrambled desperately to control my wild emotions and form a single coherent thought. Several long seconds past.

"…well…!" I choked, eventually. "I…guess that explains the smell…"

"The smell?"

"You smell awful_,_" I stated matter-of-factly, my thoughts roaming instantly to consider all the millions of different perfumes and other beauty products I would have to force her to use to get rid of the stink.

"A werewolf…" I murmured, half to myself. "Are you sure about that?"

"Very sure," Bella said firmly, wincing slightly as though remembering some unpleasant memory. "I guess you weren't with Carlisle the last time there were werewolves here in Forks?"

"No," I murmured, lost in a million half-formed thoughts. "I hadn't found him yet…"

And then something so obvious I couldn't believe I hadn't realised it the instant she had told me hit me slap in the face.

"Your _best friend_ is a werewolf?"

Bella, shamefaced and cowering back in her seat, nodded sheepishly.

"How long has this been going on?"

"Not long," she mumbled, defensive in spite of herself. "He's only been a werewolf for just a few weeks…"

"A _young _werewolf?" I hissed, unable to stop myself. "Even worse! Edward was right – you're a magnetfor danger! Weren't you supposed to be staying _out _of trouble –?"

"There's nothing _wrong_ with the werewolves," she muttered, staring determinedly down at her lap, not meeting my furious gaze.

"Untilthey lose their tempers!" I shook my head in aghast disbelief. "Leave it to you, Bella – anyone else would be better off when the vampires left town. But _you_ have to start hanging out with the first monsters you can find!"

Bella gazed disgruntledly down at her lap while I glowered in fury up at her. Didn't she _know _what fresh danger she had put herself in? Hadn't that…_mutt _even explained to her all the terrible possibilities? What sort of _best friend _did that?

But then Bella looked up – and this time her expression was defiant.

"No, Alice," she said firmly. "The vampires _didn't _really leave – not all of them, anyway. That's the whole trouble. If it weren't for the werewolves, Victoria would had gotten me by now – well, if it weren't for Jake and his friends, Laurent would have gotten me before she could, I guess, so –"

"_Laurent?_" I hissed in horror. "_Victoria?_"

She jabbed a finger at her chest.

"Danger magnet, remember?"

_Too…much…information…_I shook my head hopelessly, unable to decide where to begin with my questions – and decided we needed to backtrack a little.

"Tell me…_everything_," I said, sinking back onto the threadbare cushions of Charlie's old sofa. "Start at the beginning."

So that was what she did.

I didn't quite buy the start of her story; the vague explanations about not really being herself, drifting away from most of her friends till she had ended up visiting Jacob Black, and how close they had grown over the past months. Then there were the tales of how Jacob had changed so much recently; how she had worked out, eventually, what he really was, but how the truth had only helped to bring them even closer…

Something in her face when she talked about Jacob began to bother me about half-way through her story. The way the dead, murky brown of her eyes seemed to light with just a little more life when she said his name; how a smile twitched the edges of her mouth when she talked of all the things they'd done together, how he'd helped her so much, how she couldn't have asked for a better friend…

By the time she reached her thin explanation of boredom and cliffs, it wasn't just silly, petty jealousy seeping through me at how my place had been so obviously taken by a _mutt_. It was worry; worry because it was apparent, even to me, how very close Jacob Black had got to my brother's once-mate. Closer than just mere best-friends. Much, much closer.

But this uncomfortable realisation went as quickly as it had come when Bella, hurrying on from the cliff dive of earlier that day, had told me of the flaming fire she'd seen on the water before losing consciousness, and what she thought it meant. My eyes had narrowed to near slits as she told me more of Victoria and Laurent, what he had told her in the meadow before the wolves had – thank goodness – intervened.

Occasionally, I would react to something she had said with a low hiss or growl, and Bella would instantly pause in her tale and glance at me anxiously; almost _fearfully, _before moving quickly on with the story. I tried hard to hold back my more forceful reactions after that, sitting in silence whilst she told me of everything that had happened since we'd left, now so many months back.

Finally, her story over, Bella fell quiet. I continued to sit in silence for a few minutes longer, watching her closely as she fiddled with a stray thread on the arm of the sofa, one hand moving absent mindedly to curve round her chest again.

Odd…she seemed to be doing that a lot…like she'd suffered an awful, long-ago battle wound; been cut open raw and red and burning for a few terrible months, before the gash had begun, oh-so-slowly, to heal. The blood had stopped pouring, the skin had grown back, the bruising begun to fade…but the pain still remained; burning, searing her every waking second, some moments worse than others, some instants paining her more, perhaps memories of how the wound had been caused in the first place, a reminder of that terrible first-gash, reminiscences, memories, _reminders_…

"Our leaving didn't do you any good at all, did it?" I murmured softly, gazing with hopeless eyes up at Bella's dead brown ones. She laughed; the sound had a cutting, almost hysterical edge to it; like her body had forgotten how to make the noise.

"That was never the point, though, was it?" she said, her voice cracking. "It's not like you left for my benefit."

I frowned at that; my eyes moving to the floor. Such a good job…such a _horribly _good job Edward had done. She truly thought, truly believed he no longer loved her.

It only took another glance at my once-friend's grave-like face to realise how much that had hurt her.

But, I reasoned, another thought striking me, she had…or at the very least, tried...to move on.

And it was true. Though Bella's brown eyes were still dead; dull with suppressed pain, and though her face was so pale it was unnatural; though her hair straggled and her bones stuck out skeleton-style through her clothes, thin and gaunt…the wound was, slowly, beginning to heal. The blood had stopped pouring. The skin had begun to grow back.

Bella was healing…

Because of Jacob Black.

I didn't like accepting it – I had squirmed at the idea right from the beginning that another boy – a_ werewolf, _for crying out loud! – had taken my brother's and myplace in Bella's life. Or what was left of it. What had been left of it when we had deserted her…

A new emotion flowed over me – this time, guilt. Twisting, writhing guilt and a fresh, new worry – because I was only just beginning to realise what an awful mistake I had made coming here. Selfishly happy as I was to be with my friend again, with the girl I'd thought was dead…I'd been wrong. Somehow or other I'd been wrong. My beloved visions had let me down. They had been false – I'd jumped on a plane and flown back to Forks and back into Bella's life without thinking twice about what I was doing.

And I'd opened up her wound again.

I took a long, deep, steadying breath.

"Well…" I began, slowly. "I…I guess I acted impulsively today. I probably shouldn't have intruded."

The blood drained from Bella's face in less than a second.

"Don't _go, _Alice!" she gasped in horror, lunging forward to clutch hold of the collar of my white shirt. "_Please _– don't leave me -!"

"All right, all right!" I reassured her as quickly, reaching up to gently extract her hands from my shirt. "I'm not going anywhere tonight, at least. Take a deep breath, Bella."

Bella nodded, sinking back onto her seat in obvious colossal relief, trying to take a calming breath in – but the air seemed to get stuck half way to her lungs. One hand clutched automatically at her chest. The colour still hadn't found its way back into her cheeks; the blank white of her skin was frightening skeletal. She looked like a living corpse. Like the dead body I'd expected to find – only breathing, and thinking, and talking more than I could ever have imagined…

Our eyes met; coal black into bloodshot brown. I shook my head slowly.

"You look like hell, Bella," I murmured.

She shrugged; the decidedly human gesture somehow still failing to make her look any more alive. "I drowned today," she reminded me.

"It goes deeper than that," I said carefully, voice still quiet. "You're a mess."

She frowned. "Look, I'm doing my best."

"What do you mean?"

"It hasn't been…easy." Her voice was cracked again, but she drew herself up a little, expression attempting defiance. "I'm working on it."

_And me being here isn't going to help your situation work any better, _I thought silently, with a fresh stab of guilt. Not for the first time, Edward's face drifted into my mind. All the things he'd done, so much he'd sacrificed, but still, to no avail…

"I told him…" I murmured, half to myself. Bella sighed deeply.

"Alice," she chided. "What did you _think_ you were going to find? I mean, besides me dead? Did you expect to find me skipping around and whistling show tunes? You know me better than that."

I gave a strained smile. "I do. But I hoped."

"Then I guess I don't have the corner on the idiocy market."

I was about to reply – when, out of the blue, the phone rang.

My eyes narrowed as Bella jumped up from her seat, grabbing my hand to pull me up too. _Another _event I hadn't seen. _Another _vision I should have had, but hadn't.

_What was wrong with me…?_


	24. Chapter 17 VISITOR PART 3

"That has to be Charlie," Bella said, dragging me with her through the hallway and into the kitchen. I closed my eyes briefly, trying to see who Bella was going to find on the other end of the phone line…

_Blank…block…blank…_

Nothing.

_Oh help_. Something was going very, very wrong with my visions.

Bella reached for the phone vibrating urgently in its socket.

"Charlie?" she said expectantly, lifting it to her ear.

I watched her face closely, eyebrows furrowed, as she listened for a reply. A gruff, husky voice that sounded oddly familiar to me drifted down the phone line…

"No. It's me."

"_Jake!_" Bella gasped, both of her hands clutching the phone abruptly tighter against her. My eyes narrowed in recognition of the name.

"Just making sure you were still alive," the voice muttered sourly. Bella tried to roll her eyes – but I could see the guilt etching itself through her expression.

"I'm fine, I told you that it wasn't –"

"Yeah," the voice snapped. My fists clenched automatically at the bitter sound. "I got it. Bye."

Bella opened her mouth to protest – but the line went dead before she could speak a word. She slowly drew the receiver away from her ear, heaved a deep sigh, and replaced the phone, her eyes full of fresh worry. I bit back a growl.

"That's…going to be a problem," Bella murmured, her head falling back to stare up at the ceiling. I squeezed her hand comfortingly with my own, eager to show her the contrast of what kind of true friendship she could expect from _me._

"They aren't excited I'm here," I murmured. It wasn't a question.

Bella bit her lip. "Not especially. But it's none of their business anyway."

I reached up and slipped an arm round her shoulders, unable to stop a little private smile of my own creeping onto my face at that.

"So," I began, speaking half to myself. "What do we do now? Things to do…loose ends to tie…

"What things to do?"

"I don't know for sure," I said, carefully making sure my face gave nothing away of my thoughts. "I need to see Carlisle."

Bella's heart gave a loud, panicky thump.

"Couldn't you stay?" she pleaded, turning to clutch both my hands in hers. "_Please?_ For just a little while. I missed you so much..."

Her voice broke, her eyes beseeching as she gazed down at me. I hesitated, thinking of Jasper, of Edward, of Carlisle and Esme and everyone else I'd left behind…and of my cell phone, lying inside my case which still sat in the car outside, probably so full of texts and missed calls the thing was near exploding with them…

…but if Bella _truly_ wanted me with her…

"If you think that's a good idea…" I began cautiously, still unsure of my own decisions. Bella's face almost sagged with relief.

"I _do_," she insisted. "You can stay here – Charlie would love that."

"I have a house, Bella," I murmured, as gently as I could. Her face fell.

I heaved a sigh of frustration – not with my friend, but with myself. With my ridiculously complicated position. With my brother. With my family. With everything.

Another breath in of Bella's dogified – but nevertheless mouth-watering – scent, confirmed what my next move would have to be without me even needing to decide myself; a hunt. But after that…if Bella truly did want me with her for just one night…

But then what? Then _where_?

I glanced up at my friend, half-formed thoughts and plans already filling my head as my gaze raked over the heavy grey bags under her eyes, one hand reaching yet again to absent-mindedly wrap round her chest…

I needed to speak to Edward. Not just Carlisle and Jasper – _Edward._ No matter how angry – and I cringed inwardly at the thought of it – how _furious _my brother would be with me when he found out what I'd done, we had to get a few things straight – the most important being explaining to him that his once-mate was now best friends with a Quiluete werewolf. _That_, at least, had to count for something.

_But, _the scared little side of my mind that dreaded the thought of confronting my brother's fury anytime soon, reasoned, _I didn't need to talk to Edward quite yet. Not right now, not today, even. I would have to, soon, of course, but…_

But for now…for tonight…?

"Well…" I began, hesitating, "well…I need to go get a suitcase of clothes, at the very least…"

Bella didn't give me time to finish.

"Alice, you're the best!" she cried, throwing herself at me and burying her face in my shoulder. I choked back a hiss as her hair – and throat – hung mere inches out of reach from my aching jaw, the white-hot knives plunging down my throat again as the unbearably sweet smell danced so close to my senses I could already almost _taste_ it –

"- and I think I'll need to hunt," I choked, my voice straining almost a whole octave higher with the effort of holding back from the agonizingly inviting meal. "_Immediately_."

"Oops."

She stepped back quickly, her expression sheepish. I restrained from rolling my eyes with extreme difficulty – honestly, she _had _to have some sort of a death wish…

"Can you stay out of trouble for one hour?" I asked sceptically, already dreading the millions of accidents and scrapes she might get herself into if I left her alone. Bella opened her mouth – but I held up a finger before she could answer. I closed my eyes and forcefully, determinedly pushed myself into the future.

There were still many, many blank spots – and the sight of the empty nothingness that had consumed Bella for those few awful hours still unnerved me – but at least I knew now that the people blocked from my sight weren't dead. There were also the ever-blurred, undecided areas – my family, Edward, and Bella and myself especially – but the next hour was clear.

_Bella making up a couch bed for me, laying the table…a casserole rotating in the microwave…drinking glass after glass of water, probably cause of her salty afternoon near-drowning in the sea…shovelling down dinner…_

"Yes," I murmured quietly. "You'll be fine. For tonight, anyway."

"You'll come back…?"

"I promise. One hour."

Bella's eyes instantly went to the clock hanging over the kitchen table. I laughed – the expression a surprising relief to my face that was now so often creased with stress. I reached up to kiss her cheek quickly, and then made for the door. I heard Bella heave a long, deep, slightly rasping sigh, before the front door closed quietly behind me.

* * *

There wasn't much by way of choice when it came to hunting, that afternoon. I chased down one scrawny elk and drained it quickly; trying hard to concentrate on simply sating the thirst so I could get back to Bella as soon as possible – and not think of all the bigger and tastier animals I could be feeding off with Jasper at my side if I were back in Ithaca.

My hunt over, I headed back through the forest, past our old house which now stood dead and empty on my right side as I flew past, and back towards the Swan's residence.

I glanced down at my wristwatch as the dark shadow of Bella's house came into view, just visible through the few remaining trees of the woods. I smiled, pleased with myself. Half an hour early. Bella would be so pleased. Now all I had left to do was fetch my suitcase from the car, and I would be back with her in less than five minutes.

I slipped quietly out of the trees, unlocked the car, and climbed inside. I reached over the driver's seat, drew my case towards me – and then stopped dead.

_What about calling Edward?_ a little voice in the back of my head reminded me, _and what about calling the others and letting them know what's going on?_

I had completely forgotten…

I hesitated – my hand hovering over the zip of the back compartment where my little silver phone awaited me. A thought had struck me.

If I called my family now…if I called them and told them what had happened, tried to explain what a terrible mistake I had made, tell them what I needed to tell Edward, admit what was going so horribly wrong with my visions for the first time in my life, then…

What if the first thing all of them told me to do – _insisted _that I do…was to come home? Not tomorrow, after a sleepover and a whole night of keeping my friend company. Today. Tonight. _Let it go, Alice,_ they would say – the damage was done, the memories brought back, the promise broken – I had done enough. Now, above all, Edward's promiss had to be upheld, however much I had already ruined them.

If they insisted I come home, leave Forks, leave Bella…tonight…

I bit my lip, hard.

I couldn't…_couldn't _just ignore them. Easy as it would be to simply forget the bulge on the outside compartment of my case that signified where the phone lay, I couldn't do that. I had to, at the very least, check my messages – see what calls I'd missed from my family…

I sighed deeply – then reached down and drew my little silver phone out of the case.

A total of fifteen messages and texts awaited me in the inbox. Guilt twisted inside me once more as I sank back onto the smooth leather of the front seat, and began to listen again and again to the anxious voices of my family recorded on each and every one of the messages they had left for me over the past handful of hours…

By the time I'd finished…I knew I couldn't just not-reply. I couldn't tell them nothing. Not after the way I'd left them all so suddenly earlier that morning, with no explanation whatsoever. I couldn't ignore all their millions of questions, pleas for information, worry and concern…not now. Not after reading all those texts. I had to at least let them know I was all right…

But…did I reallyhave to _call_ them to explain all this…?

I couldn't leave Bella now, I told myself firmly. Not tonight. If I called and they told me to come home…

I couldn't. I _couldn't. _

But if I wasn't going to _call_…

I picked up the phone again – and hit reply to the fifteenth and final text my family had sent me. I typed out a reply in the form of a brief, but reassuring text – explaining to Carlisle and the others that I had arrived, that I was fine and safe, and that they weren't to worry.

_I would call tomorrow,_ I told myself firmly, as I hit the send button – I could answer all their questions then. At least now, Esme wouldn't worry.

I could _not_ leave Bella now. Not now I'd promised her – not now, as I saw in a flash of the near-future, she was rushing round her house preparing dinner and setting up couch cushions for her visitor to pretend to sleep on. 

_It wasn't fair on her_, I told myself firmly, as I replaced the silver mobile, and opened the car door once again. It wasn't fair to have got her hopes up, promised her I'd be staying…and then shatter them all over again by leaving so soon. I would push the thoughts of all those worried texts to the back of my mind, lock the phone back in my case, spend the rest of the night with my friend…

And I would worry about my family tomorrow.

* * *

"You're early!" Bella cried in delight, almost falling through the doorway of her living room and collapsing down beside me on the threadbare sofa. I grinned, pleased with myself and reassured that I'd done the right thing.

I'd climbed through Bella's bedroom window to reach her, just in case Charlie was already back from wherever he was. I still – _still _– couldn't see him, and it was infuriating me more every second – but I hid my discomfort as Bella sank down beside me on the threadbare cushions, and leant over to rest her head on my shoulder. Her heartbeat slowed from racing excitement to slow, steady calm. She closed her eyes.

"Bella," I sighed deeply, putting both arms round her. "What are we going to do with you?"

"I don't know," Bella admitted in a mumble. "Really, I have been trying my hardest."

"I believe you."

Silence fell for a few moments, during which I continued to fight relentlessly against the barrier separating me from Charlie, Bella, and _my_ future. A brief flash of him driving down the road flickered before me, before blocking out once again. _Bother. _I fought back a growl of frustration.

"Does…does he…" Bella was murmuring, in a slightly trembling voice. "Does…_Edward_ know you're here?"

She choked on the name, and I could hear in her voice the pain it caused her to say it out loud. I tightened my arms around her as I answered in a low, guilty murmur.

"No."

Bella nodded slowly, thoughtfully. "He's not with Carlisle and Esme?"

"He checks in every few months."

"Oh….you said you flew here – where did you come from?"

"I was in Denali," I explained. "Visiting Tanya's family."

"Is Jasper here? Did he come with you?"

Fresh guilt writhed itself into a yet another knot inside me. Jasper. My poor, beautiful, determined Jasper, standing cold and determined with such firm loyalty to Edward…and such icy defiance towards me. Refusing to break his promise, mess up everything anymore than he already had, hurt our brother any more…

I shook my head slowly in reply to Bella's question, forcing my expression to stay blank. "He didn't…approve of me interfering…" I said quietly. "We promised…"

I trailed off, unable to finish. Bella shifted in her seat, sensing something was wrong. I changed the subject quickly before she could answer.

"And you're sure Charlie won't mind my being here?" I asked, worrying as the future of Charlie walking through the door in just a few minutes solidified to become more certain with every passing second.

"Charlie thinks you're _wonderful,_ Alice," Bella assured me, smiling.

"Well, we're about to find out."


	25. Chapter 17 VISITOR PART 4

Sure enough, less than a minute later, the sounds of yet another car drawing up outside the Swan residence heralded Charlie's return. Bella jumped up from her seat to open the door – and I heard her tap down steps and run over the pathway outside to greet her father.

I gathered from the conversation that followed that something dreadful had happened to someone called Harry. The names Charlie mentioned as his children – a girl called Leah, and a boy called Seth – rang a bell somewhere far away in my mind…but I couldn't remember where I'd heard them before.

I stood up slowly from my seat as their conversation continued, walking quietly to stand just outside the doorway and wait for Bella to call me out and explain to Charlie – as gently as she could – that one of the Cullens had returned to Forks.

"…um…Dad?" I heard Bella say, tentatively as their conversation reached an end. "You'll never guess who's here."

_Very tactful, Bella, _I thought with an exasperated smile. _Very discreet._ But nevertheless, it seemed to be my cue to step out and show myself.

Taking a deep breath, I moved slowly forward to peer round the door and into Charlie's confused face. He looked tired; heavy bags hung under his eyes, his shoulders slumped, a rucksack over one arm. His brown eyes stared at me in blank, bewildered shock.

"Hi Charlie," I said, stepping cautiously towards the two of them. "I'm sorry I came at such a back time."

Charlie blinked rapidly several times at the vampire standing on the doorstep of his house, as though trying to make sure his eyes weren't playing tricks on him.

"…Alice Cullen?" he said, finally. "Alice…is that you?"

"It's me," I said, sadly, the words coming out like an apology. "I was…in the neighbourhood."

Something in Charlie's eyes turned suddenly, frighteningly angry. "Is…Carlisle -?" he began.

"No," I interrupted, knowing, of course, who he was really talking about. "I'm alone."

The frown didn't leave Charlie's face; he tightened his arm around his daughter, pulling her protectively closer to him. A small pang of longing ran through me at the gesture; reminding me of Jasper's constant, unfailing protectiveness…over _me. _That little text I'd sent less than an hour ago via my phone danced into my mind, making me bite my lip guiltily. Already, I was starting to miss him…

"She can stay here, can't she?" Bella was asking Charlie eagerly. "I already asked her."

Charlie glanced at me – and his expression was uncomfortable. He bit his lip, glancing from his daughter to the vampire standing in his hallway, both awaiting his answer. After a few seconds of thought, he nodded once, stiffly.

"Of course," he mumbled gruffly. "We'd love to have you, Alice." He gave me a sad, strained sort of half-smile, almost as though he _wanted _to be pleased someone who had made Bella so obviously happy had come to stay…but couldn't quite bring himself to. Charlie didn't just have his daughter's wants and wishes in mind – he had her safety, her protection, her life, her future, her happiness in the long run…

"Thank you, Charlie," I said, and I meant it. "I know it's horrible timing."

"No, it's fine, really," he said quickly, but not meeting my eyes. "I'm going to be really busy doing what I can for Harry's family. It will be nice for Bella to have some company."

That made me feel better. Bella smiled, and tugged on her father's arm.

"There's dinner for you on the table, Dad."

"Thanks, Bell." He squeezed her shoulders, nodded once in my direction, and then shuffled off in the direction of the kitchen, and the dinner that awaited him.

Bella was exhausted. I could see it in her face, right from the moment we sat down once again on my sofa bed she had made up for me to pretend to sleep on; me wearing an old pair of Bella's pyjamas - several sizes too big, but still wearable - right up till the minute her eyelids dropped shut, and her head drooped lower and lower down my shoulder, one hand clutching my wrist in surprisingly strong, warm grip, as though she was scared I might run off while she was asleep.

For the first half hour or so, I switched off the lamplight, and then simply watched my friend sleeping; drifting in and out a few stray visions that blurred themselves in front of my eyes, and listening to Charlie banging about in the kitchen. I heard the sounds of a dishwasher being loaded, a tap being turned off, and various other household chores being finished while the clock ticked its way past ten o' clock.

Bella had told me Charlie often made an annoying habit of checking in on her before going to sleep himself – so around ten thirty, I gently lifted Bella off me and pushed her down onto the sofa-bed originally meant for me, covered her with a blanket, and then prepared to crawl into the sleeping bag I assumed she had fetched for herself to use, next to the couch.

But even as I quietly pulled down the zip of the bag, Bella refused to let go of my wrist. It was an unconscious movement; an automatic grip that didn't slacken once as I slipped carefully into my make-shift bed next to my friend, lay back on the padded material – and let my eyes drift shut once again. Her grip didn't lessen once…all night long.

The night passed far quicker than I'd thought it would. With Jasper and the rest of my family and friend's futures to watch...the seconds became minutes, and minutes became hours unbelievably fast – and I could hardly believe it when dim sunlight began to stream in through the half-drawn curtains covering the living room window, and illuminating the living room with its honey-coloured rays. I winced as the beams slid over Bella's sleeping form, still lying tucked in on the sofa bed, and glided down the edges of the couch to rest on my bare arm, hanging out from the sleeping bag. Diamonds began to glitter and sparkle over my skin.

I watched the crystal-like facets for a few minutes; feeling the pleasant warmth of the sun heating my arms, and wondered vaguely what the time was.

Less than ten minutes later, I heard movements coming from upstairs. I pulled the sleeves of my pyjamas down quickly over my glittering arms as a crack, a creak, and then the sound of footsteps moving about on the upper floors came from the direction of Charlie's room. A door opened and then shut with quiet snap, followed by the sound of the shower starting up.

I let Charlie's immediate future drift in front of my eyes – and found I had almost fifteen minutes before he would arrive downstairs and check on me and Bella.

Climbing out of the sleeping bag, I crouched by the side of the couch and gently but firmly unwound Bella's fingers from the grip on my arm. She sighed softly in her sleep, shuffling around and turning over onto her side – but thankfully, didn't wake up. I tiptoed over to the window to surreptitiously pull the curtains closed, and block the sunlight from my vampire skin.

Charlie ended up taking nearly half an hour to completely ready himself for the day – before finally leaving his room, and shuffling down the stairs in direction of the kitchen.

"Hey, Charlie."

He jumped so violently he almost fell over.

"Alice?" he said, whipping round to see the figure standing in the doorway of his living room, case in hand. "Oh…hey, Alice…morning."

I smiled. "Do you mind if I use the shower?"

"Sure," he nodded, looking relieved. He jabbed a finger in the direction of the steps he had just descended "Up the stairs, there's towels in the cupboard to the right of the sink, first turning on the left –"

"I know." I smiled again. "Thanks."

Charlie nodded slightly, a half-smile still playing around his lips, and then shuffled off towards the kitchen – and breakfast.

I didn't, of course, actually need to shower – but decided I may as well, if only to put on a good show for Charlie. I spent almost five minutes choosing the prettiest, softest looking towel from all the beautiful piles stored in the bathroom cupboard Charlie had mentioned – torn between all the various colours and patterns – had my wash as quickly as I could, and dressed in the same clothes as yesterday – the only ones I had with me, aside from a single fleece I had stuffed into my bag in a rush, which I put over the top.

It felt _horrible_ – wearing the same clothes as I had the day before was something I had never, _ever_ even dreamed of doing in my life before – but I had no choice. I fidgeted around in front of the bathroom mirror, adjusting the belt on my jeans, borrowing Bella's hair brush to tame my hair into slightly more manageable spikes – trying and failing to make the outfit look as different as possible from how I'd worn it yesterday.

I felt a small pang of wistfulness to be back in Denali – back with Jasper, my family, my _wardrobe…_but pushed the thought away as soon as it had come. I wasn't in Denali. I wasn't with Jasper. I was with Bella – that had to be at least half as good. My friend was the one who needed me now.

I entered the kitchen to find Charlie already well into – attempting – to make breakfast. Two slices of toast lay on a plate beside the stove, on top of which Charlie had placed a saucepan and was gazing anxiously down into. A box of eggs lay open beside the fridge, one missing.

He turned round as I entered.

"Hey, Alice," he greeted me with another half-smile. "I don't suppose…um…you any good at cooking eggs?"

"I'm not – Esme is, though," I explained, smiling, and quickly moving across the kitchen towards him. Water was boiling and frothing over the edges of the saucepan, a small egg just visible beneath the foam. I winced.

"I _did _learn quite bit from her, though, so maybe I could…?"

"Help – yeah, I'd appreciate that," Charlie said, sounding relieved. He stepped back to give me access to the stove. I reached for the knob on the silver edging, turning it down a considerable amount. The water slowly calmed to a cheerful simmer, and I smiled, pleased with myself. I heard Charlie sigh deeply from behind me.

"Bells is usually the one who does the cooking around here – for obvious reasons – but…well…I didn't want to wake her. She hasn't been sleeping well…"

"It's fine, Charlie," I reassured him, looking back to smile up at him again. He harrumphed quietly, his eyes still wistfully fixed on his saved egg, and then moved over to the fridge to open it up and take out the butter.

"I didn't know what you wanted to eat," he called over his shoulder, reaching for the plate of toast. "So I thought I'd leave you two to make something by yourselves later on when Bella's up – I'll need to get going then, you see, help the Clearwater's with some…some arrangements…"

His voice trailed off, and I heaved a silent sigh of relief that breakfast wasn't going to be a problem. Toast was just about the worst human food could get; scratchy and rough and near impossible to swallow. Ugh.

Charlie was talking again.

"That egg's probably done, Alice, been in there for a good few minutes already."

I nodded, pretending to examine the contents of the saucepan. Charlie edged closer to the stove, plate of toast in hand.

"I thinkI can take it from here…"

"No, no, Charlie, really, it's ok," I said quickly, not wanting my perfect egg to be ruined at the last minute. I drained out the hot water, and tipped the egg as carefully as I could into the china eggcup Charlie had placed beside his toast. I straightened it with one finger, arranged the pieces of toast so they faced each other symmetrically on either side of the eggcup, then stepped back to admire my work. Charlie chuckled quietly, moving to sit down at the kitchen table.

"Perfectionist."

"Yup."

I got him a teaspoon from the draining board, dried it, and then handed it to him.

"There you go," I grinned. It had been weeks…months…since I'd arranged, designed, organized anything like this – I'd forgotten how much fun it was!

Charlie returned the expression, looking almost impressed, but the tightness still hadn't gone from his eyes. I understood better why this was though, now – Bella had explained to me last night what had happened to Charlie's friend.

I walked over to sit opposite him at the table. Charlie gestured to the fridge as I sat down, his piece of toast half-way to his mouth. "Don't feel you've got to wait for Bella if you're hungry, Alice –"

"Oh no," I said quickly. "No, I'll eat with Bella, later. Thanks, Charlie."

He shrugged. "All the same to me."

Silence fell for a few minutes. Charlie chewed, whilst I pretended to examine the tablecloth – secretly, trying to think of some way to poise the question I wanted to ask. Questions. Many, many questions.

I glanced up at Charlie. His eyes met mine briefly as he scooped egg out onto his toast – before ducking quickly down to his plate again. I took a deep breath.

"Charlie –" I began.

"I know what you're going to ask, Alice."

He didn't look at me as he spoke. I bit my lip, scrambling for something to say.

"Charlie…if you don't want to talk about it…"

"No," he said automatically. "No, it'd be nice to talk to someone, after all this time, I mean. I just…"

He trailed off. A hopeless, aching sadness that was awful to listen to had entered both his voice and expression. He shook his head slowly from side to side, eyes still on his plate. From next door, Bella's steady, sleepy heartbeat stuttered – and began to quicken…waken. I sighed inwardly; I had to be careful what I said now, if Bella was listening.

I leant over the table, reaching to touch Charlie's arm lightly with my hand, careful not to brush his bare skin with the icy, unnerving coldness of mine. I took another deep breath.

"How…bad….was it, Charlie?" I asked, as softly and gently as I could. Charlie's hopeless eyes looked up slowly to meet mine. He sighed, long and very, very sad.

"Real bad."

"Tell me about it," I murmured. "I want to know exactly what happened when we left."


	26. Chapter 17 VISITOR PART 5

Charlie stared at me for a moment; his eyes unreadable. Then he lowered his fork, and leant forward on the table to rest his face in his hands.

"I've never felt so hopeless," he murmured, in such a soft, cracked voice it was only due to my vampire-enhanced hearing that I could make out the words. "I didn't know what to do. That first week…I thought I was going to have to hospitalize her. She wouldn't eat or drink, she wouldn't _move_ – Doctor Gerandy was throwing around words like catatonic, but I didn't let him up to see her…"

He drew his face out of his hands to gaze at me with helpless, almost pleading eyes. "I didn't want to scare her," he explained, as gently as though it was his own daughter he was explaining this to.

"She snapped out of it though?"

She must have done, I thought silently. I was watching her, at the beginning, at least.

Charlie shrugged slightly, his eyes gazing down at his half-eaten breakfast again. "I had Renee come to take her to Florida. I just didn't want to be the one…if she had to go to a hospital or something. I hoped being with her mother would help. But when we started packing her clothes…"

He bit his lip, eyes closing again, as though remembering something he really didn't want to remember.

"She woke up with a vengeance. I've never seen Bella throw a fit like that – she never was one for the tantrums, but boy, did she fly into a fury. She threw her clothes everywhere and screamed that we couldn't make her leave – and then she finally started crying. I thought that would be the turning point. I didn't argue when she insisted on staying here…and she did seem to get better…at first…"

I leant further forward across the table.

"But…?" I prompted him.

This was what I needed to hear about; the parts _after_ Ihad stopped watching. After I'd stopped…promised Edward…sworn to him I wouldn't go interfering…

_And just look at me now…_

"She went back to school and work," Charlie was saying, his eyes opened but unfocussed and far away as he remembered, like me having one of my visions. "She ate and slept and did her homework. She answered when someone asked her a direct question. But she was…empty. Her eyes were blank. There were lots of little things – she wouldn't listen to music anymore. I found a bunch of CDs broken in the trash. She didn't read. She wouldn't be in the same room when the TV was on, not that she watched it so much before…"

Next door, Bella shifted slightly on the sofa. Opposite me, Charlie turned his hopeless eyes up to meet mine. "I finally figured it out," he admitted quietly. "She was avoiding everything that might remind her of…him."

I stayed still and silent, watching Charlie's dark hazel eyes drift closed; so similar to his daughter's.

"We could hardly talk," he murmured. "I was so worried about saying something that would upset her – the littlest things would make her flinch – and she never volunteered anything. She would just answer if I asked her something. She was alone all the time. She didn't call her friends back, and after a while, they stopped calling…"

He trailed off – and his voice dropped to almost a whisper as he spoke his next words.

"It was night of the living dead around here. I still hear her…screaming…in her sleep."

He shuddered. So did I.

Charlie fiddled with the edge of the tablecloth, shaking his head listlessly from side to side at the memories. I reached towards him before I could stop myself, touching his arm again gently with mine.

"I'm so sorry, Charlie." I didn't know what else to say.

Charlie shook himself slightly, sitting up a little straighter and trying to smile ruefully. "It's not _your _fault," he pointed out – making it perfectly clear in his accusing tone who he held responsible, and how prepared he was to challenge that person should he come anywhere hear his daughter again. "_You _were always a good friend to her."

I brightened a bit at that.

"She seems better now, though?"

"Yeah," Charlie said, also brightening a little. "Every since she started hanging out with Jacob Black, I've noticed a real improvement. She has some colour in her cheeks when she comes home, some light in her eyes. She's happier. He's a year or so younger than her, and I know she used to think of him as a friend, but…I think maybe it's something more now, or headed in that direction anyway." His eyes narrowed slightly as he gazed at me, his tone meaningful. I looked quickly away, shamefaced; but reluctantly acknowledging the warning.

"Jake's old for his years," Charlie went on pointedly. "He's taken care of his father physically the way Bella took care of her mother emotionally. It matured him. He's a good looking kid too – takes after his mom's side. He's _good_ for Bella, you know."

_As opposed to your brother, who most certainly was _not_…_

The words weren't said out loud, but they hung heavy in the air between us; supporting and reassuring Charlie – glowering at me. Challenging the vampire sister's reply to their statement.

I clenched my fists, unable to stop myself defending my brother just a bit. That matured, good looking, _something-more-than-friends _Jacob Black was nothing, nothing, _nothing _on Edward, and never could be – and exploding into a stinking werewolf every five minutes couldn't be what _any _decent father would dare to call safe, if only Charlie knew the truth…!

…but he didn't. And there was no way I could tell him.

I clamped my teeth together, lifted my chin, and somehow forced out the very last words I wanted to say.

"Then it is good that she has him."

It was almost painful for my ears to have to listen to my lie – but it reassured Charlie. His face relaxed, and he heaved a huge sigh that could have been of relief. A satisfied smile twitched his lips as he gazed down at me with kinder eyes.

"Ok," he admitted. "So I guess that's overstating things a bit. I don't know…even with Jacob, now and then I see something in her eyes, and I wonder if I've ever really grasped how much pain she's really in. It's not normal, Alice, and it frightens me. Not normal at all. Not like someone left her…but like someone…died."

His voice cracked. The word hung in the air; _died, died, died…_and I suppressed a shudder again, thinking of Edward's dead, _died_ face, our dead conversations, dead household, dead family, dead everything…dead life. Living…but not living. Existing for his family's sake only, for a pretence none of us could keep up for very long. A pretence Edward had abandoned very quickly; left us to lead his own dead, unliving life alone, all alone…

"I don't know if she's going to get over it," Charlie was murmuring, half to himself. "I'm not sure if it's in her nature to heal from something like this. She's always been such a constant little thing. She doesn't get past things, change her mind."

"She's one of a kind," I agreed dryly, hoping very much that Bella was listening from the next room. Charlie gave me sideways glance, seeming to hesitate over something.

"And Alice…now, you know how fond I am of you, and I can tell that she's happy to see you, but…" He bit his lip again. "I'm a little worried about what your visit will do to her."

"So am I, Charlie," I said, nodding in understanding at his awkward expression. "So am I. I wouldn't have come if I'd had any idea. I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize, honey," he mumbled, gruff all of a sudden. "Who knows? Maybe it will be good for her."

"I hope your right," I murmured – but inside, I wasn't so sure. Bella was fine _now…_but what about tomorrow? What about later today when I would have to call my family? What about when they insisted I had to come home?

And what about the days after that, when Charlie was out arranging all that needed to be done for his poor lost friend and their family? Bella would be alone. All alone all over again. Charlie had said so himself yesterday how good it would be for Bella to have someone with her whilst he would be out and busy so often, but if Carlisle insisted on me returning now, today, before Edward found out…

My thoughts continued to battle each other as Charlie turned back to his food and began to chomp on cold egg and toast, the teaspoon making scraping little squeaks against the china of the plate. Then he suddenly looked up again.

"Alice – I have to ask you something."

"Go ahead," I nodded reassuringly – already suspecting the question he was going to pose. Charlie frowned at his plate for a few seconds, his spoon scooping out the remains of his egg so violently it flew off the plate and plunged to its messy end on the tiled floor. He sighed, put down his spoon – and then leant forward across the table towards me.

"_He's_ not coming back to visit too, is he -?"

"He doesn't even know I'm here," I said quietly, but firmly. "The last time I spoke with him, he was in South America."

From next door, Bella's heartbeat stuttered and thumped with shock. I sighed inwardly as Charlie, suppressing a snort, turned back to his food.

"That's something, at last," he muttered. "Well…I hope he's enjoying himself."

My hands clenched into fists again at the utter absurdity of the assumption.

"I wouldn't count on it, Charlie," I said, sharper than I'd meant to, my abruptly steel-edged tone causing him to glance up in surprise.

"Hm," he mumbled. His spoon scooped up the final remains of egg – before pulling back his chair, and standing up to take his plate to the sink.

I heard Bella turn over in her bed, making such a racket of yawning, creaking and bouncing up and down that I had to hide my smile. _How had she managed to lie to her father for all these months with acting skills like that?_

"Alice…?" she rasped out in a decent attempt at a tired voice, fake-yawning for the fourth time in less than a minute.

"I'm in the kitchen, Bella," I called out, forcing back giggles. I heard more springs creak, the then the soft patter of footsteps as Bella crossed the room and opened the kitchen door.

"Morning, Bells," Charlie said over his shoulder from the sink. "You all right? Sleep ok?"

"Great, Dad," she mumbled, rubbing her eyes with both hands and dragging her feet as she staggered over to the table and flopped down opposite me, taking Charlie's place. I covered my mouth with one hand to hide my grin. Bella frowned at me in confusion.

"_What?_" she mouthed, annoyed. I shook my head.

"_Nothing_," I mouthed back, still battling against giggles. She scowled, folding her arms and leaning back in her seat as Charlie finished cleaning up his plate, and turned to his slumped daughter.

"You ok, Bells?"

"Fine," she said through clenched teeth, still glowering over at me. I grinned widely back, eyes wide and innocent as Charlie turned suspiciously to look at me.

"You two going to be ok here whilst I head over to the reservation? I said I'd help Sue, I don't really know what time I can get back by…"

"We'll be fine, Dad," Bella reassured him quickly. "You go help the Clearwaters. Alice will look after me."

* * *

The day that followed was one of the best I'd had in a long, long time.

Bella was still exhausted from her near-death experience of the day before, and as I was happy to do whatever she wanted, we ended up spending the morning and most of the afternoon on the sofa-bed – talking.

Bella's questions were never ending. She asked, whilst I answered – and by the end of the day, I had filled her in on almost every detail of what every member of my family and I had been up to for the last half of a year – all except one.

The subject of Edward was like a taboo. Unmentionable. Neither of us wanted to go anywhere near it – Bella, for the past it brought back, and me for the future of Edward's reaction to my broken promise – so both of us kept the conversation on lighter topics, for nearly the whole of the surprisingly short day we spent together.

I knew – I _knew –_ that I should call them. My family. Jasper. Edward. I knew, even as Bella questioned me about Carlisle's new job, asked about what it was like at Cornell, what we were studying, what Esme had been up to – I knew I was pushing the time I should be spending here in Forks to the limit.

I should have called. I should have let them speak with me, question me, and let them talk me into coming home that very day…

But I didn't.

I told myself exactly why I shouldn't, why I hadn't. I told myself it was all down to Charlie. Down to the fact Bella needed company – Charlie was expecting it, and with him out for so much of the day helping this Sue lady…I _couldn't _just abandon Bella, not now, not when she needed me most. I couldn't. I wouldn't.

I told myself it was down to the werewolves. After all – where was the point in ringing up my brother just to tell him I knew Bella had got more than was safely attached to some Quileute named Jacob? I needed to find out more – more about these Quileutes, these wolves – just how exactly Bella had found out all that she had about them, whether they saw her as a friend, or even an ally…

I told myself it was down to Bella. All of it down to my friend so obviously needing me by her side that day. I couldn't leave her _now_, not when she was looking so much brighter and happier – so _alive,_ even from yesterday. My being here was doing her good_,_ I told myself. It was so obvious. She never spoke of me leaving, not once, throughout the whole day…so neither did I.

Bella needed me. My friend needed me. I could _not_ leave her now – not again. Not after all these months.

I wouldn't. I _wouldn't._

So I didn't.


	27. Chapter 18 THE FUNERAL PART 1

The hours went by, the sun sank lower in the sky, and before I knew it, Charlie was home and up in his bedroom, settling down for an early night – and Bella's head was drooping, once again, onto my shoulder. Around eleven o' clock, I moved down to the creaky old recliner Bella had made up for me with a purple patchwork quilt thrown over me, and Bella on my sofa bed – our hands still entwined.

I spent the whole night battling with myself.

There lay the phone – shiny silver, result of a shopping trip with Rosalie almost a year ago now – bulging out the back pocket of my case; near impossible to ignore.

_Not yet, _I begged against the sensible voice in my head, the words pounding against my skull over and over like a broken record. _Not now. Tomorrow, when Charlie was back from this funeral, and able to look after his daughter again, take my place, keep her company like I had…_

I _would_ call them tomorrow. I would. I _would. _

My new reasoning behind staying, aside from the ones I'd already come up with the previous evening, was simple: Victoria. Bella had assured me the wolves had and would protect her, promised me she was safe, that the only reason she was even alive now was because of Jacob…but I wasn't convinced.

This was _werewolves _we were talking about; huge, hulking great adolescent teenage boys who had the useful gene of exploding into giant dogs at appropriate moments – nothing more. Comparing the knowledge they most likely had of battle skills and protection, compared to what my husband had – and had in turn taught _me_ – there was no competition. Right now, Bella needed me more than ever, for more than just companionship.

Or so I told myself.

But deep down inside….I knew I was truly beginning to grasp at straws for any reason to stay longer in the town of Forks.

* * *

"So…what are we doing today?"

It was the following morning – and the third day of my stay. Charlie had left just moments ago to attend his friend Harry's funeral, which was happening somewhere on the Quiluetes' Indian Reservation – dressed almost unrecognizably in an ancient looking suit and long, wide tie. It had been almost physically painful watching him through the crack of the living room door as he tiptoed down the front hallway, fiddling with the tie that was an easy ten years out of date.

But now, Charlie was gone – and we were alone again, with a whole new day ahead of us.

Bella grinned in response to my question. "I don't know – do you see anything interesting happening?"

I gave a half-smile, half-grimace back at the mentioning of my ever-faulty sight, and shook my head. "But it's still early."

We ended up spending most of the morning cleaning – apparently, Bella had been neglecting her household duties from spending so much time with her 'Jake'. I hid my frown as we fetched Comet and rubber gloves, and began work on the upstairs bathroom.

Bella was half-way through scrubbing the floor of the bathtub with Comet filling the air with its sour smell, and me halfway through asking her what _she _had been up to, aside from visiting Jacob, over these past few months – when the doorbell rang.

And at the exact same moment, Bella's future descended into blank, blocked nothingness.

I gasped; horror filling me, a panicking shout already building in my throat to call to Jasper – before my eyes refocused, and saw Bella, climbing up from her crouch beside the tub, pulling off rubber gloves, and very firmly, definitely…alive.

I stared blankly at her slightly irritated face as she set down the bottle of comet by the sink, and scrambled to her feet.

"Hold on!" she shouted in the general direction of the front door, reaching to rinse her hands in the sink. The doorbell buzzed loudly, impatiently, reminding me of someone, of something, as I opened my mouth to offer to answer the door for her – and then froze.

It couldn't be. _Couldn't be. _Not here, not now, not _now…_

_Not now…_

But there was no mistaking that smell.

The doggish stink enemating faintly one floor and a few rooms down from where I stood matched the scent that had lingered so revoltingly around Bella two days previously to perfection. There was simply no mistaking it.

I pushed my way automatically into Bella's immediate future to double check who she would find on the other side of the front door once she opened it…and hit the blank wall again.

My eyes narrowed into a glare. _This was ridiculous!_ Why now, why when I needed my visions so badly did they have to be suddenly so temperamental? Why, yet again, when we had a _werewolf _outside our house, just like the werewolf who had saved Bella from the cliff jump, just like the werewolves whose funeral Charlie's unseeable future now rested with, just like the werewolves…the werewolves…

…the werewolves…

The _werewolves…_

No way. No…_way…_

"Hold on!" Bella yelled again, dropping the towel she'd been drying her wet hands on and pushing past me towards the door.

"Bella…" I heard my voice saying, eyes still unfocussed, the empty bottle I'd been holding in my hands creaking in protest as my fingers clenched around it. "Bella…I have a fairly good guess who that might be…"

Jacob Black…it _had _to be Jacob Black – no other scent could match the one that had clung to Bella two days ago, and if that was the case…

"…and I think…I had better step out," I finished in a painfully strained voice, the plastic groaning and cracking under my fingers. Bella frowned in confusion – of _course, _for Bella, her friend Alice never had to _guess _at anything, presume anything, suppose anything…_anything_…until now…

Until those _mutts…_

Plastic crushed and splintered under my grip – and my fingernails were suddenly through the thin plastic and digging into my own palms, razor-sharp and painful as the doorbell buzzed yet again…

"Guess…?" Bella was echoing slowly, warily glancing down at the ruined remains of the bottle in my hands, up to my livid expression.

"If this is a repeat of my egregious lapse in foresight yesterday, then it's most likely Jacob Black…or one of his 'friends'."

The words were acid through my clenched teeth. Bella's eyes widened in sudden realisation.

"You can't _see_ werewolves?" she gasped in utter amazement. I bit my lip so hard it was a wonder my teeth didn't go right through it.

"So it would seem."

My every word dripped with suppressed fury; icicles waiting to fall. Plunge. Stab.

I couldn't remember the last time I'd been so angry – maybe when Rosalie had donated my favourite black-geometric-cut-out prom dress to charity by mistake, or Emmett had accidentally caught Jasper painfully with his teeth during a play fight…?

…no. Not even then.

Those…_mutts…_

Bella gazed, open-mouthed for a second – then the doorbell buzzed yet again. I closed my eyes, took a slow, deep, shuddering breath…and turned for the bathroom door. Bella leapt forward to stop me, catching hold of my arm.

"You don't have to go anywhere, Alice!" she said firmly. "You were here first!"

I laughed – the sound had a strained, cutting edge that I hoped she wouldn't hear. The last thing I wanted was for her to realise just how much this new realisation bothered me.

_Bothered. _Understatement of the century.

"Trust me," I murmured, gently unwinding her fingers from my arm and opening the door. "It wouldn't be a good idea to have me and Jacob Black in the same room together."

To that, Bella had no answer.

I leant forward, kissed her cheek quickly – then made a dash for Charlie's bedroom, round the bed, onto the sill, and out of the window.

I waited a few seconds once I was down on the grass of Bella's back garden – leaning back against the wall, closing my eyes and pushing one last, desperate, raging time against the black wall of nothingness consuming Bella's future…

It was useless. Pointless, useless effort.

I had to bite my lip painfully hard again to stop myself snarling with anger. _How had they done it?_ How did those…those…_puppies_, have such control over my visions? To blind me so completely, take away my sight, my wonderful, precious talent I loved so much…render me so helpless…

That was how I felt. Helpless. Useless. Trapped in the _present_ – in what was happening now, this second, with no more knowledge of what was to come than Bella had…!

Trapped. Useless. Helpless.

And unable to do anything whatsoever about it.

The doorbell buzzed a final loud, impatient time.

I opened my eyes. Then slowly, quietly, I tiptoed quiet as a mouse round the walls of Bella's house to the front garden. Peering carefully round the edge of a large rhododendron bush, I squinted through the leaves towards Bella's front door...

And there they were.

Two sat in the front seats of an ancient looking Rabbit, their car slumped arrogantly half-way up on the pavement outside the Swan residence like they owned the place. I couldn't see their faces well – just smell their revolting scent, and know, from what Carlisle and Edward had told me, that they both must be males. There wasn't such a thing as female wolves, as far as they knew.

Standing on the porch of my friend's house, chin jutted up in ready defiance, stood the boy who must be Jacob Black.

I looked him up and down, my nose wrinkled against the doggy stench; taking in the long, muscular arms, quivering slightly, and the bare chest. I blinked. _Bare _chest?

It was true, though. His whole torso was exposed; red-brown skin smoothly stretched over more rippling muscles, matching that of his two friends still sitting in the battered old car. Though the day wasn't exactly warm, the only shivers he gave off were from his trembling hands – he wore nothing else but a pair of cut-off jeans, as battered looking as his car…

And they were all _huge. _

I couldn't help suppressing a small gulp of fear as I took in their size. _Giants. _The fury burning inside me died to a flickering flame – I reached automatically behind me to wrap one hand round Jasper's, feel his protective touch…and my fingers closed round thin air. My heart plummeted in realisation. _Idiot, Alice_, I thought, angry at myself, now. _I had to stop doing this…_

The front door of Swan house creaked slowly open – and the small figure of Bella came into view. I felt a pang of fresh horror. She was _tiny _compared to Jacob Black – if he phased anywhere close to her, my visions were useless, so if it came to a fight…

I suppressed another small gulp of fear as I realised if _Bella _was this minuscule next to the mutt…what about _me_…?

"Hey," I heard my best friend's voice mutter, cold and businesslike. I smiled ever so slightly. _You go, Bella!_

Jacob Black's eyes narrowed infinitesimally at her tone, before flickering towards the hallway behind her. He pursed his lips – then began, slowly, to scan across the front windows of Bella's house, inhaling deeply. _Oh help. _If he could smell me, and there was no reason why he wouldn't…

"She's not here," Bella said through clenched teeth, realising what – who – he was searching for. "Do you need something?"

He hesitated, deep set black eyes moving back to the human standing before him. I shuddered at their close proximity, forcing myself to stay still and quiet and not leap out from my hiding place to put myself between them.

"You're alone?" he asked quietly, speaking for the first time. His tone was almost a growl. My muscles tensed automatically. _If he tried anything…did _anything_ to her…_

"Yes," Bella sighed in reply to the werewolf's question.

"Can I talk to you a minute?"

I froze, my eyes unfocussing instantly to check Bella's future in case of danger – but of course, coming up as blank as ever. I started to panic as Bella sighed quietly again, but agreed to let the dog speak to her. _I wasn't ready for this! _I wasn't prepared!Without my visions I was nothing, _nothing _against three giant werewolves! If they were this tall in person, what about one they'd _phased…_?

"Come on in," Bella murmured, holding open the door for the brown-skinned boy, her face impossibly relaxed. She was still annoyed – that much was clear – but the hostility had faded slightly, to be replaced by something like regret, almost concern, pity, worry…

Jacob Black glanced once over his shoulder at his two friends still seated in the car, questioning with dark, cold eyes; black beetles in his shadowed face. One shook his head ever so slightly, a _you must be mad _look crossing his features. A smile crept nervously onto my face. Could they really be that scared of _me_?

"_Chicken,_" I heard Bella murmur, before standing back to let her werewolf friend pass first into her house.

Jacob Black strode towards the door held graciously open for him – then paused. Quickly, he scanned his eyes over the windows of the house one last time, beginning on the garden, skimming the shrubbery, the trees, the bush, the wall I crouched beside…

I was gone before he could even blink.


	28. Chapter 18 THE FUNERAL PART 2

I didn't know what to do with myself.

My visions told me nothing. I was blind as ever – and getting more infuriated by it every minute. If those wolves didn't leave Bella alone anytime soon, I didn't care what anyone had said – I would _make _them leave! I couldn't stand around like this much longer.

I'd left my spot behind the bush, dashed round to the back of the house once again, then pressed my ear to the outside wall and tried to listen in on what the werewolf wanted to say to my friend. At first, I'd simply stood there, still and quiet as I could so Jacob Black wouldn't hear me – I had no idea how strong or weak werewolf senses were compared with vampire's, but it was better to be on the safe side – but after almost ten minutes, it became clear, even to me…that he probably wasn't going to harm her.

He explained in a few brief, bitter words to Bella that he and his 'pack' could no longer protect her from Victoria whilst a Cullen was here also. I suppressed a small twinge of discomfort as I realised that if he really meant it, I really had no choice now but to stay and protect Bella till the threat of the red-headed, revenge-seeking vampire was dealt with…and who knew when that would be?

After a few minutes of snapping at each other, and several more of icy silence, I could hardly believe it when the boy began to talk softly, almost _sympathetically _to Bella. They both apologized – werewolf included! – then stood quietly together for another moment. And after a few seconds…they began to talk of things I knew, deep down, Bella wouldn't ever want me to listen in to…

Guilt had made me draw back from the wall then, resigned to the fact that no matter how dangerous Jacob Black was surely capable of being, he wasn't going to harm Bella – not now, at any rate.

I drifted aimlessly around the back garden, the voices of the two people inside the house too far away and muffled for me to understand them anymore – but loud enough that I would know, instantly, if something went wrong. I was, after all, still blind.

_Blind_. Ugh. I hated it. _Hated it. _It felt like one of my eyes had been covered with a black mitten – I was seeing half the world, half the garden, half the large white house in front of me…

The present, still clear as ever. The future…entirely blocked out.

_Blank…blocked…blank…_

I reached the garden fence, then sat down on the cool grass and leant my back up against the wood, closing my eyes. Just a few more minutes, and I would interrupt them. Just a few more minutes and the dog would be gone. Just a few more minutes and I would have my sight back…my visions back…my future back…

Softly, vaguely, from inside the Swans' house, I heard the sound of a phone beginning to ring…

* * *

The shrill buzz of the receiver cut off abruptly – and I heard Jacob Black's muffled, husky voice muttering something. I rolled my eyes, faint annoyance with the mongrel spiking once again – _acting as if he owned the place again, and it wasn't even his house!_ – and then closed them once more, only half listening as the faintest sound of another voice spoke down the receiver back to him.

I frowned. _That was odd_. The tone was hardly distinguishable, but I could have sworn it was almost…familiar…

More gruff words from the mutt.

Another brief question from the receiver.

A final, growling phrase from the werewolf, four muffled words I couldn't make out; an answer to the caller's question, then…

Then…

…_then…_

…a vision…

…but the mutt…

…my sight…

…not _possible_…

…but somehow…

…_somehow…_

It was Edward.

_My brother sitting, so still he might have been carved from ice, seconds into the future, in the front seat of a car…_

…_the palm of his right hand; a small, compact silver phone – his mobile, a Christmas present from me two years ago…_

…_the hand of ice unfreezing itself, the phone toppling to the floor of the car with a soft crack, snap, crunch…_

…_crunch …_

…_and an airport…a plane gliding up and off the runway…pounding, running feet…cobbled streets…sandy-wet stone…a maze of twisting passageways…_

_A large, cavernous room clustered with strange, misty-cloaked vampires…_

"_Why?"_

_The word was spoken by a man; a midnight-haired figure cloaked in black, gleaming scarlet eyes visible through moving, flickering decisions, set bright in a face I could have _sworn_ I'd seen somewhere before…_

"_I have lost…"_

"…_I have no reason…"_

"…_knew Carlisle…"_

"…_I wish to ask…"_

"…_my mate…"_

"…_want to die…"_

…_want to die…_

…want to _die…_

"_NO!_" my voice screamed loose before I could stop it, ringing shrill with panic. "No – Edward, you idiot, _NO…!_"

…_ripping, tearing, shrieking; a terrible crunching sound…my brother's arms, legs, _head_ disconnected from his body, his screams echoing around that tall, cavernous room…round the small alleyway…round wherever they killed him…_

…_fire consuming his severed limbs…_

_But the future was only a possibility, only one decision of the two they would make for him, if they told him no…if they told him no…_

_Edward throwing a car against a wall…Edward tearing out the throat of a human man in the town square…Edward provoking his fate in any way he could…_

_Only a possibility, just a possibility, but still …_

…_red-eyed guards…sweeping cloaks…cavernous rooms…planes to Italy…_

…_a name, inscribed under a portrait hung high in Carlisle's office…spoken in a greeting murmur by my brother…_

…"_Aro"…_

…Volturi…

…_Volturi…_

* * *

I was running before I even realised my legs were moving.

The visions wouldn't leave me – I struggled desperately to shove them away as I stumbled up from my seat against Bella's garden fence, the future blurring the present, my feet tangling together as I shot across the garden towards the house, Edward's voice resounding those terrible words in my ears…want to die…_want to die…_

I half fell through the open window of the living room, my hands flying out to grab my bag. I snatched out my phone, dialling Edward's number so quickly my fingers blurred together, clutching it to my ear, pushing away the vision of…of…

_Of Edward…Rio…of course, he was in Rio…climbing with the most terrible, sedate composure out of his car, his face dead with shock, the fallen phone half-crushed in one hand…_

"Edward," I heard myself gasping under my breath as the next stage of his plan slid oh-so-horribly into view. "Edward…Edward don't, please _don't_, pick up your phone, _pick up your phone -!_"

…_pacing slowly over towards a trash can…_

"Edward_…_"

_The phone dropping into the bin with a soft smack…my brother turning back to his car, a man passing him as he went, glancing in surprise over at the trash can… reaching for the ringing phone…_

"Ola?" a stranger's heavy, alien voice suddenly came down the phone. "Quem esta la?"

"_No_…"

"Quem esta la?"

Edward…

"Ola…?"

…Edward...

I pressed end call.

* * *

I had one thought, and one thought only in my head now.

Bella.

_I had to tell Bella…_

Stuffing the phone back into the bag, I stumbled out of the living room, and up the small tree that grew outside Charlie's bedroom window, twigs ripping through my hair and messing the orderly spikes into a wild hedgehog-do once again, but I didn't care, _didn't care_, because all that mattered now was getting to Bella, getting to my friend, tell my friend, _warn _my friend what I had to do, where I had to go; somehow, _somehow _explain…

I leapt from the topmost branch of the tree straight through Charlie's open window, my hands trembling as I half-fell past Bella's father's bed, pushing away the future, hating the future, _hating_ my visions, hating myself, because I didn't call, _I didn't call_…

Edward hadn't known. I hadn't told him, but somehow he had still found out, somehow knew, and wanted to die, wanted to die, _was going to die_…

I choked back my sob as my hands fumbled with Charlie's door handle, tugging it open and stumbling through, shoving back the future, the future I was now becoming a part of at my decision…

I half-fell down the stairs, leaping the last two –

– and then freezing to a standstill as what awaited me at the bottom came into focus.

Jacob Black stood motionless and wide-eyed a mere handful of feet from me. I stared blankly at him, the smell enemating from his half-naked body hitting me slap in the face – _ugh! – _revoltingly strong. My breathing was ragged and unsteady, my sobs caught in my throat…

I'd completely forgotten the mutt.

"Ouch," a voice mumbled from somewhere down on the floor – and I turned, still frozen with horror, to see Bella scrambling up from the doormat, rubbing one elbow…turning to face me.

We stared unblinking at each other, for the shortest of seconds.

I opened my mouth to speak – one thought and one terrible, _terrible_ thought only in my mind as my friend's deep brown eyes stared up at me in confusion – trying, through the rushing tumble of never-ending left-over scraps of future, to speak…

"…_Bella_…" I managed to choke, my voice breaking with anguish as _Edward's head twisted from his body _blurred in front of my eyes once again,_ falling from his neck, burning to ashes, _repeating itself over and over and over…

…_want to die…_

"Alice!" Bella gasped, reaching forward towards me. "Alice, what's wrong?"

_Edward…_my mind vaguely managed to maoan to itself. _Edward…my brother…my poor, poor, poor brother…my fault…_

…_Edward…_

"_Edward…_" I whispered, voice so quiet I doubted Bella could even hear me, shaking so violently I had to clutch the edge of the banister to stop myself falling, falling like that cliff dive, that stupid, _stupid_ cliff dive, and the vision which had started it all…!

Bella gazed blankly at me for a moment – and then crumpled to the floor at my feet.

A snarl of rage sounded in my eyes from somewhere to my right. I turned, eyes blearily searching for the source of the noise – to meet Jacob's Black's livid gaze.

"What did you _do?_" he half-shouted, pouncing towards my unsteady frame with enormous hands raised towards me. I found myself slammed suddenly against the wall of the staircase, the mutt's stinking face inches from mine – _ugh, ugh, ugh! – _and two burningly hot hands suddenly clasped like hot irons around my neck.

I snarled, more from fear than anything else, my built up sobs mingling oddly with the sound, shoving back against his chest with all the strength I possessed – and sending him stumbling backwards into the other banister, cracking it. His every trembling limb screamed danger as he scrambled up again, making as if to spring at me once more – but my eyes were on Bella. She lay at the foot of the stairs, face alabaster pale as ever, eyes closed…and body limp in a dead faint. _Dang it. Way to go, Alice. _

Cussing worse than Emmett under my breath, I dodged the werewolf's outstretched arms, sending him flying into the wall again with a resounding crack, and bent quickly towards my friend.

"Bella!" I cried urgently, shaking her shoulder. "Bella!"

"Don't you touch her -!" I heard a panicking voice call from behind me.

"Don't you touch _me!_" I hissed over my shoulder, all thoughts of further visions gone from my mind as the dog's large, flaming-skinned hand reached for me once more. He snarled in reply, crouching two steps above me.

"Bella," I murmured again, turning back to my friend. "Bella, come on, cut it out -!"

"She's fainted," I heard a low voice growl from behind me.

"_Yes_, worked that out for myself, funnily enough -!"

"- don't you talk to me like -!"

"Shut up, Jacob Black!" I snapped over my shoulder, before turning back to Bella and scooping her up into my arms before the he could protest. I made a dash for the living room, heading for the couch and laying my friend down on it as swiftly and gently as I could.

"Hey -!" the werewolf's indignant voice called from behind me – and to my surprise and distaste, I saw he'd somehow managed to move almost as fast as I had into the living room behind me. "What do you think you're doing -?"

"Bella?" I murmured, taking hold of Bella's shoulders and shaking her again. "Bella, come on -!"

"_What _did you do to her?" Jacob demanded again, striding over to crouch beside Bella on the sofa. I ignored him – though fear coiled secretly into a knot in my stomach at our proximity. _Too close, too close! _screamed every part of me.

"Bella!" I leant close to her, lifting one of her limp wrists to my ear to listen for a pulse. "Bella, snap out of it, we have to hurry -!"

"Stay back," Jacob warned as I reached for Bella's other wrist, consequently bringing my hand even more horribly closer to Jacob's shivering body.

"Calm down_,_ Jacob Black, you don't want to do that so close to her," I sang, a bit sarcastically, earning myself another daggers glare.

"I don't think _I'll_ have any problem keeping my focus –"

"Alice…" Bella muttered suddenly, her voice slurred, making both of us turn instantly to her. "Alice…what happened…?"

"I don't _know!_" I burst out, clutching her hand tightly in both of mine as she blinked up at me – though deep down, I knew I wasn't really giving her the answer she'd asked for. "I don't _know_ – what is his thinking…?"

_Edward, racing fast as a bullet in the direction of Rio's central airport…decisions flickering; wondering whether or not to call Carlisle from a phone box, say goodbye a final time…_

_Carlisle…_

If I called Carlisle…

I swung round, reaching for my bag and cell phone for the second time since leaving my family, not even bothering to search the future for what I would find at the other end of the line as my fingers whizzed over the keys in less than a second. I pressed call – then held it up to my ear.

_Come on_, I pleaded silently as the phone began to beep placidly down my ear. _Pick up, Carlisle, please pick up…oh not again, not again, please, not again…!_

"Hello?"

"Rose!" I gasped in staggering relief. "Rose – I need to talk to Carlisle, now –!"

"Oh _Alice_," she sighed, sounding irritated; I could almost see her rolling her perfect, crisp yellow eyes – "Carlisle's hunting, what do you -?"

"Fine, as soon as he's back!" I cried, panic threatening to take over with every passing second…

…_Edward nearing the airport entrance, sliding doors parting before him…_

"What is it?" Rosalie was asking. "I'll track him down right away and have him call you if –"

"No," I said quickly. "No, I'll…"

I'll…

...I'll…

I had to think about this.

My first instinct – of course – was to leave Forks the instant this call was over…and catch the first plane to Italy. I thought back to the blurred, undecided visions of the Volturi's decision for my brother's fate – if that Aro told him no, and he had to resort to one of his…back up plans, mightn't there possibly, possibly be time to maybe…maybe…

_The possibility flickered in and out of focus; undecided as I was…_

If they told him no, if he chose to simply throw a car through a wall or something…_would there possibly be time to save him_…_?_

No. The outcome refused to show itself with my decision wavering so much on the edge of so many possibilities. I had to make a choice. If I was fast enough, and they told him no and he took _time _over deciding how to go about provoking them…

There was a chance. There was a tiny, slip of a chance…

And that was enough for me.

"…I'll be on a plane," I finished quietly in reply to Rosalie – all my thinking had passed through my head in less than a second – firmly, unwaveringly fixing my decision rock solid in my impending future. And even now, the visions were shifting, changing once again before me…

"Look," I said into the phone, urgent again as a new thought struck me. "Have you heard anything from Edward?"

Pause. I waited, grinding my teeth with impatience. If I was going to catch a decently fast plane tonight, and at such short notice, I needed to end this as soon as possible!

"Well…" my sister said slowly, sounding oddly…uncomfortable. "Well…yes, Alice. Actually, I _did _talk to Edward. Just a few minutes ago."

I couldn't help myself. My jaw dropped; realisation slowly, slowly beginning to dawn on me as I realised just who Edward had just been talking to in that first vision…

Oh no, no_, no…_

My sister took a deep breath, as though bracing herself for my reaction – then dived in.

"You and Carlisle were wrong," she said in a rush, her voice steady and determined. "Edward _would not_ appreciate being lied to. He'd want the truth. He _did_ want it. So I…I gave it to him. I called him. I called him a lot, actually. Until he picked up. A message would have been…wrong…"

"Why?" I gasped softly, interrupting her. "_Why_ would you do that, Rose?"

"Because the sooner he gets over this, the sooner things go back to normal!" she burst out, angry for the first time…but her voice was strained. "It wouldn't have gotten easier with time_,_ so why put it off? _Time_ isn't going to change anything – Bella is _dead!_ Edward will grieve, and then he'll get over it! Better he begins now than later…!"

_Oh Rose, Rose, Rose…how could you…?_

I was so angry even Bella shifted uncomfortably as our eyes met. The phone gave an audible crack as my hand crushed it against my ear.

"Well, you're wrong on _both_ accounts, Rosalie, so that would be a problem, don't you think?" I said icily.

"Wrong on…both counts?" my sister said slowly. "Bella's…_still alive…_?"

"_Yes,_" I hissed. "That's right. She's absolutely fine –"

"_Fine_? You saw her jump off a cliff -!"

"I was wrong -!"

" – _how?_"  
My fist clenched round the phone; hating the question almost as much as the answer. My eyes flickered to Jacob, flashing hard.

"It's a long story."

Pause. Then…

"Well…you've made quite a mess!" Rosalie burst out, her voice full of suppressed relief in spite of herself – my stomach twisted with guilt at the truth in _that _statement. "Edward's going to be_ furious _when he gets home!"

"But you're wrong about that part too, Rosalie. That's why I'm calling."  
Another pause.

"Wrong about…about what?" my sister said slowly, notes of fear sounding at the very edges of her quiet voice. "Edward…coming home?" She snorted. "Of coursehe will! What, you think Edward's going to pull a Romeo? Ha! Like some stupid romantic -!"

"Yes," I whispered, my voice trembling with rage. "Yes, that is _exactly_…what I saw."

Silence.

Dead, ringing silence.

When my sister spoke again, it was in a very, very different tone.

"No," she whispered, almost to herself. "No, he's…he's not that stupid, he must realise that…that…"

I waited; both fists clenched round my little mobile.

"I…I didn't mean it like that!" she burst out, her voice straining almost as high as mine. "Alice, please, I just wanted him to come _home_ -!"

"It's a bit late for that, Rose," I hissed, my lips pulling back over my teeth. "Save your remorse for someone who believes it!"

"_No -!_"

I shut the phone.


	29. Chapter 18 THE FUNERAL PART 3

**Had a scare last week. Computer caught a virus and went MENTAL with a capital M. Thank goodness for memory sticks. **

* * *

"Alice," I vaguely heard Bella call urgently from somewhere a million miles away. "Alice, Carlisle is back, though. He called just before…"

I stared at her blankly for a second.

"How long ago?"

_Maybe Carlisle had called here from his mobile…but why on earth…?_

"Half a minute before you showed up."

I frowned, confused. "What did he say?"

Bella hesitated. "I didn't talk to him…" she began, nervously. Her eyes flicked once to Jacob, then back again.

I turned my furious gaze to rest on the still trembling werewolf. He flinched at my expression.

"He asked for Charlie, and I told him Charlie wasn't here," he muttered quickly, his face full of suppressed disgust as he spoke of the vampire whose call he'd answered.

"Is that everything?" I demanded. He glowered.

"Then _he_ hung up on me."

"You told him Charlie was at the funeral," Bella spoke up suddenly.

My head whipped round to face her so suddenly she jumped in shock.

"What were your exact words?" My voice was quiet with dread. If the werewolf had answered the phone…if he'd told someone he thought to be Carlisle…when in fact…just possibly…

"He said 'He's not here,' and when Carlisle asked where Charlie was, Jacob said "At the funeral.'"

I moaned, sinking to my knees and burying my face in my hands. _That was it, then. _This was impossible. _Impossible…_

I heard Bella quietly slip down to kneel beside me, one warm hand resting on my shoulder.

"Tell me, Alice," she whispered softly, her voice full of concern. I almost laughed out loud with the sheer ridiculousness of the situation. She was worrying about _me._

Bella had _no idea_…

"That wasn't Carlisle on the phone," I whispered, voice dead of all emotion, muffled by my hands.

"Are you calling me a liar?" the mutt began indignantly. I ignored him, drawing my face slowly out of my hands to face Bella with bleak eyes.

"It was Edward," I whispered. "Edward, he thinks you're…dead."

I watched as an enigmatic range of emotions flittered across my friend's face; surprise, shock, realisation, confusion…then…

…could that really be _relief…?_

"Rosalie told him I killed myself, didn't she?"

My eyes narrowed, tight with suppressed anger once again.

"Yes," I admitted. "In her defence, she did believe it. They rely on my sight far too much for something that works so…_imperfectly_." My mouth twisted bitterly round the word. "But for her to track him down to tell him this…didn't she realise...or _care_…?"

"And when Edward called here, he thought Jacob meant _my _funeral," Bella finished for me. I studied her expression with confused eyes. She looked pensively back at me. I frowned – how could she look so casual, so…_relieved, _almost, when something so terrible, so _impossible_ had happened…?

"You're not upset," I murmured, bewildered. She shrugged.

"Well, it's rotten timing, but it will all get straightened out. The next time he calls, someone will tell him what…really…"

She trailed off, her eyes on me again. Then she too frowned; worried as I shook my head slowly, torturously, from side to side, pity filling me to the brim as I realised she had no idea, not one clue, not a single _clue…_

I reached forward, and gently took her free hand in both of mine.

"Bella," I whispered, leaning close to my friend, wishing for the hundredth time the dog wasn't here with us. "Bella…Edward won't call again. He…he believed her."

I shook my head again, willing her to comprehend, to realise what had happened, put two and two together…

"I don't understand," my friend murmured, her voice emotionless, and her face unreadable. I took a deep breath.

Edward had told her about them, I knew. Told her about who they were, what they did, what they were responsible for in our world. Where they lived. Where their incomparably powerful coven resided…lived…ruled...

"He's going to Italy," I said, softly.

Bella's face was unreadable. Utterly blank, utterly still. Neither she, nor I moved for over thirty seconds. Even Jacob Black sat silent and watchful, his shifty eyes on Bella, sensing something was wrong – very, _very_ wrong…

Then Bella's eyes slowly, slowly refocused– and I foresaw her realisation even before it happened.

"_No!_" she half-shrieked, the sound making all of us jump violently. "_No!_ No, no, no, he can't! He _can't_ do that -!"

"He made up his mind as soon as your _friend_ confirmed that it was too late to save you," I managed to whisper, my tone too weak and hollow for the sarcasm over one particular word to really be worth it. Bella shook her head furiously, her eyes tortured.

"But he _left!_ He didn't _want _me anymore, what difference does it make now?He knew I would die sometime -!

"I don't think he ever planned to outlive you by long," I murmured.

"How _dare _he!"

She was on her feet now, her face flushed, hands trembling, struggling to keep her anger in place. Jacob rose uncertainly to shift himself between the two of us as I too stood up.

"Oh, get out of the way,Jacob! Alice –" she said urgently, battling past the dog towards me, "– what can we do? Can we call him? Can Carlisle?"

"That was the first thing I tried," I whispered, "He left his phone in a trash can in Rio – someone answered it."

"You said we had to hurry?" Bella demanded. "Hurry how? Let's do it, whatever it is!"

I bit my lip. Now what?

"…Bella," I began uncertainly. "I – I don't think I can ask you to…"

"Ask me!" she commanded. I took a deep breath…but what choice did I have? She had the right to know, at least, what I was planning.

"We may already be too late. I saw him going to the Volturi and asking to…die." We both cringed at the word. Bella's eyes were suddenly wet with tears – she swiped them away furiously, her intent gaze full of suppressed pain. I reached up towards her, resting my hands on her shoulders as comfortingly as I could, ignoring Jacob's glare.

"It all depends on what they choose," I said, carefully. "I can't see that till they make a decision, but if they say no, and they might – I suppose Aro is fond of Carlisle, and wouldn't want to offend him – Edward has a…back up plan." _Several, _I added mentally, forcing back a shudder. "They're very protective of their city. If Edward does something to upset the peace, he thinks they'll act to stop him, and he's right. They will. So if they agree to grant his favour…"

…"_Give the Cullen what he wants" …_

…_ripping chunks of vampire flesh, flames consuming my brother's body…_

"…we're too they say no, and he comes up with a plan to offend them quickly enough…"

…_pouncing on a human by the town square fountain…smoky-cloaked figures dragging him into the shadows of the alleyways…mingling fire and ashes…_

"…we're too late. If he gives into his more theatrical tendencies…"

…_sunlight glaring down on the city, the highest, brightest point…Edward stepping out into the streaming sun…ashes…flames…flickering possibilities…_

"…we…might…have time."

Bella's face shimmered slowly back into view.

"Let's go!" she cried, turning to reach for the door.

"_Listen, _Bella!" I said urgently, my hands tightening round her shoulders to hold her back. "Whether we are in time or not, we will be in the heart of the Volturi city! I will be considered his accomplice if he is successful – _you _will be a human who not only knows too much, but smells too good. There's a very good chance they will eliminate us all – though in your case it won't be punishment so much as…dinnertime…." My voice cracked over the word – the thought of a Volturi guard tearing my friend's throat out was unthinkable.

Bella gazed at me blankly for a few seconds – then her eyes widened

"_That's _what's keeping up here?" she demanded, incredulous. "I'll go aloneif you're afraid -!"

"I'm only afraid of getting you killed," I said quietly; truthfully. She snorted.

"I almost get myself killed on a daily basis! Tell me what I need to do…!"

"_I'm begging you…"_

"…_unusual, I must say…"_

"…_want to d -"_

_- no, _I moaned inwardly. _Stop it. Stop it right now, Alice, calm down…calm…oh Jasper, I need you…!_

"…_want to die…"_

_Stop it, stop it, stop it…!_

…but…_could _I stop it…?

I thought about it for a moment. Thought, wondered, if Edward would honestly believe me if I came bursting into the Volturi's home, shouting that Bella was alive? But then, even if I was, by some miracle, in time, he would have to have given in to a decent enough time-consuming back-up plan. If I went running up to him, screaming what for all he knew could be a lie, wouldn't he just leap straight into his suicide before I could stop him? And then it would be too late.

I blinked; eyes focussing on Bella's panting, pink-cheeked face; streaked with a few helpless, runaway tears. But if I…_did _have Bella herself, alive and _with_ me to try and stop Edward, to convince him of the then undeniable truth, on the other hand? Guilt and shame writhed inside me as I considered the selfish, selfish, selfish thought, putting my friend in such terrible danger…

But then I thought of Jasper.

I thought, suddenly, of how it would feel if he and Edward's places were reversed; if my husband was even now on his way to almost certain death…

I took deep, shuddering breath, trying to calm myself – the mere thought twisted my insides into knots, shook my hands into trembling, built a cry of horror in my throat I had to swallow hard to dislodge. _That _was how Bella was feeling now. That was all she wanted; to save the man she loved like I loved Jasper; only hers she still believed to be unrequited…

Could I deny her that?

_You can't stop her coming if she wants to,_ a voice murmured in the back of my mind. The same voice which had spoken up when I'd been putting off calling my family back. The same voice of reason I almost always ignored in times like these – and sorely regretted doing so afterwards.

A voice I couldn't deny this time.

"Write a note to Charlie," I murmured, letting my hands slip from Bella's shoulders. "I'll call the airlines."

"Charlie!" she gasped, horror filling her face.

"I'm not going to let anything happen to Charlie," a gruff voice sounded from the sofa. My eyes met Jacob's Black's over Bella's shoulder – he glowered at me as he spoke his next words. "_Screw _the treaty."

I nodded once in agreement – now wasn't the time to argue about treaties – reached down for my bag, and yanked out my mobile.

"Hurry, Bella!" I called over my shoulder. She scurried out of the room in the direction of the kitchen, the sullen-faced werewolf following her. The door closed behind them, and I turned my attention down to the silver mobile lying in my palm.

I had two flights to Italy to book.

Less than a minute later, I was standing by the door, case in hand, my mobile stuffed in the pocket of my jeans, waiting for Bella to finish her note. She stumbled into the hallway from the kitchen with Jacob close behind her, tripping over her own feet and only just catching herself in time before falling.

"Get your wallet – you'll need ID," I told her urgently, pointing up the stairs. "_Please _tell me you have a passport – I don't have time to forge one!"

Bella was gone before I'd even finished speaking. She pounded off up the stairs – and I heard her banging about in her bedroom, opening and shutting draws, jingling coins as she searched for her passport. I glanced anxiously at the clock above the kitchen sink – _if Bella didn't hurry up…_

"Oi, Cullen."

I whipped round at the sound of the voice suddenly so close behind me, my eyes meeting Jacob's with frosty hostility.

"Yes, dog?"

He growled quietly, a violent tremor shuddering through his body, visible even from the significant distance I stood from him. I couldn't stop a small twinge of apprehension as he folded his shaking arms.

"Let me get this straight," he began. "One of your fellow bloodsucker brothers, _Edward_, the leech who destroyed my best friend, ruined her life for her, damaged her in ways she'll never be healed from –"

" – don't you dare –!"

"_Edward_," he began again, loudly talking over me. "Thinks Bells committed suicide by jumping off a cliff, for some reason wants to follow suite, but to do so he must seek the help of some group of royal leeches in Italy, and you're off to stop him?"

I glared, drawing myself up as tall as I could, which – gulp – wasn't very. Even like this, he towered over me. Fear churned deep in the pit of my stomach once again – _oh Jazz, I wish you were here! _– _he _would put Jacob Black in his place, all right…

"That's right," I answered coldly in reply to his question. His eyes narrowed.

"And you're dragging Bella into all that withyou -?"

"I can't stop her if she wants–"

"_Bella _doesn't have a clue what she's wants!" he growled softly, his hands clenching into fists round his folded arms. "You're really going to plunge her into the midst of a fresh band of bloodsuckers just for the sake of _him_-?"

"What do you expect her to do – sit round here at home whilst I run off and try to solve this myself –?"

"Better you than her!" he snarled. I hissed vehemently, sinking to a half-crouch in spite of myself – and he flinched back a step

"You think I don't _know_ what danger I'm bringing her into?" I hissed. "You think I won't keep her safety my number one priority at all times? You think I don't care about her _half as much_ as you do - ?"

"Not enough that if she tripped and cut herself you'd kill her faster than blinking -!" he shouted.

"You don't know a thing about what I'd do if that happened," I snarled softly, poison dripping from every word – _how dare he…_

"_You_ might control yourself on occasion," Jacob was growling. "But these leechesyou're taking her to –"

"Yes, you're right, _dog,_" I retorted. "The Volturi are the very essence of our kind – they're the reason your hair stands on end when you smell me, they are the substance of your nightmares, the dread behind your instincts. I'm not _unaware _of that –"

"And you take her to them like a bottle of wine for a party!" he shouted.

"You think she'd be better of if I left her here alone, with Victoria stalking her?"

"We can handle the redhead –!"

"- then _why is she still hunting?_"

Jacob's whole body rippled with a sudden, violent shudder; a swelling, shaking movement from head to foot which made every muscle in my immortal body freeze with horror…

"Stop that!" I heard Bella's voice from behind us yell – I turned to see her stumbling down the last few stairs, a rucksack over on shoulder, her expression wild with impatience. "Argue when we get back, let's _go!_"

Jacob's face was like thunder as he glowered with eyes black as jet over towards me – then very slowly, deliberately, moved them over towards Bella; determination clear in his gaze. I glanced from werewolf to human, taking in both of their expressions. I knew, without needing my visions, what he wanted to do. What he wanted _me _to do.

Jacob wouldn't harm Bella now – I knew that for absolutely certain. Despite my hatred…despite all my prejudice…no matter how much I loathed the idea…

Perhaps now really wouldn't be such a terrible time to leave them alone for what might be their last few minutes together.

With one last contemptuous glance at Jacob Black, I turned for the door, pulled it open, and darted down the pathway towards the street. I ripped open the door of Carlisle's Mercedes, threw my bag over the back seat, and shoved the keys into the ignition.

The engine's roar filled my ears – but still didn't quite block out the voices of the werewolf and the human standing outside Charlie Swan's house, saying their final goodbyes.

"…don't die…Bella, don't go, don't_…_"

_Come on, _I growled inside my head, my hands clenching the steering wheel so hard the plastic almost cracked…

_Edward, already at the airport…pulling out his wallet and counting the notes inside, flicking thin scraps of shiny paper between pale fingertips…_

I revved the engine, glancing over my shoulder and out the back of the car, wondering whether I should roll down a window and shout out to Bella to hurry up, despite my promise to let them have a moment alone…

…just in time to see Bella's blurred face crumple with pain and choke out an unstoppable sob as she threw her arms round the mutt, and buried her face against his bare chest. My insides writhed with instinctual revulsion at the sight…but also, just a little, with guilt. _No._ No matter how desperately we had to get going, no matter how much of a terrible hurry we were in, I couldn't interrupt this. Not for Bella.

I turned quickly away from the sight of Jacob Black reaching up to stroke his hand through Bella's tangled brown hair, and focussed determinedly on the road in front of me. Just a few more minutes, and we'd be on our way. Just a few more seconds, and I would have my sight back properly, really, truly properly, my beloved talent working again, my visions clear as ever…

"_Everything all right, sir?"_

_A tall, blonde human woman, glancing with concerned eyes down at the lifeless form of Edward sitting like a marble statue in the lobby of the airport…_

"_No."_

_His voice like ice; cutting ice, dead of any life whatsoever…_

"…_but it will be," he murmured, half to himself, once the woman had gone away again. "…soon."_

_Soon…_

…soon…

_Slam._

The sound of Bella flinging open the car door and slamming it shut behind her woke me up from my daze, bringing me sharply back into the present. I blinked and shook my head, determinedly ridding it of the blurred visions. I had a car to drive now. A route to plan out to the nearest airport…a plane to catch…a brother to save…

I revved the engine into life once more, spun the car round to face the road – then stomped on the pedal.

"_Take care of Charlie!_" Bella shouted out her window, voice choked by tears, both hands pressed up against the window as she gazed desperately outwards back towards the dog…the mutt…the friend…she had left behind.

And maybe even something more than a friend.

The ripping, tearing sounds of clothes and skin exploding off from something, followed by a soft snarling growl, choked with emotions I couldn't even identify was the last thing I heard…we heard, before our car rounded a corner, and began to head at a speed Chief Swan would most definitely have a few words to say on…out of Forks.

Into what…I had no idea.


	30. Chapter 18 THE FUNERAL PART 4

_This is probably one of the most pointless and yet extremely un-pointless chapters of the whole story so far…and rather short. Sorry, guys. Next chapter is long, and one after that is absolutely humungous, though, so don't get too put out :D_

***

We made our flight with less than thirty seconds to spare – a blonde air hostess glaring disapprovingly at us as we stumbled through the plane doors just before they glided closed, pounded down the aisle, and collapsed into our seats.

Bella flopped back against the generic blue fabric, panting.

"Is he…are we…where's…Edward…?" she gasped, between pants. "Where is he…now…?"

I held up a finger, also flopping back against the seat, and letting my eyes drift shut…

_Edward…the plane gliding along…the time showing on the digital clock…_

"It's ok," I said quietly in reply to Bella's frantic tugging on my sleeve. "It's ok, Bella, we're fine, he's fine, he's on the plane…ahead of us…calm down, we're here, we made it..."

Far across the plane from us, the blonde hostess reached into a wall cupboard, drew out a seatbelt, and began demonstrating the doing and undoing of it whilst a smooth, monotone voice began to explain via several speakers the correct way to "fasten your seatbelt"…

"Urgh, why can't we just take off…?" Bella hissed, shuffling agitatedly around as she struggled with her seatbelt; her fingers fumbling and dropping it twice. I reached over, having already fastened mine, and clicked hers into place. She shot me a brief, strained smile of thanks – then reached up and craned her neck to see over the seats in front of us and glare at the blonde flight assistant, now flicking her perfect curls into place and beginning to wave a large life jacket around.

I was strongly reminded of that stupid receptionist back at the archives…of the way she'd smiled at Jasper, my Jasper, my poor Jasper who I knew must even now be sitting at home, sick with worry…for some unfathomable reason I still, impossibly, couldn't see a single thing to do with my family….

"In the case of the plane being required to land on water…"

"Oh _for_ _goodness' sake_…" Bella growled, beginning to bounce up and down with impatience, her fists clenched round the armrests.

"Bella," I sighed, reaching out to place a restraining hand on her shoulder. "Remember…it's faster than running."

Bella didn't reply – just nodded in time with her bouncing, her teeth gnawing at her lower lip dangerously hard.

"_Bella_," I hissed reprovingly. "Quit that, we can't have you bleeding now, of all times -!"

"Why aren't we _moving?_" Bella moaned quietly, ignoring my warning – the blonde assistant had finished her demonstration and was back in the cockpit, chatting idly to the two pilots. Worry coiled into an ever tighter knot inside me – my visions were so vague, so unclear, muffled and distorted by a million tiny possibilities and decisions that would lead to the final outcome of this mad journey…there was no way I could even tell whether our flight would land in time for us to catch our connection…!

"Alice," Bella was moaning, her face pressed up against the window next to her seat. "Alice…can't you say something, can't you ask them -?"

"There's nothing I can do," I sighed, reaching over to slip an arm round her shoulders. "I can't speed up the take off process of a plane, I'm sorry –"

"Please check your seatbelts are properly fastened, we are beginning our take off. Thank you," the monotone voice rang out over the speakers dotted down the plane before I could finish. Bella let out her breath in a gush, collapsing backwards onto her seat again as the plane began, oh so slowly, to crawl forwards.

"_Finally!_"

I stroked her hand gently, willing her to clam down…but my insides were still writhing. We were moving now, however slowly – I had expected some kind of relief, some kind of small release from the frenzied anxiety twisting like snakes through my stomach…but there was none. The plane crawled, tortuously slow, towards the runway, the pilots chatting and laughing casually down in the cockpit, the blonde hostess sitting demurely still and quiet in her own leather seat at the front of the plane, and frowning with distain over at Bella's loud, agitated fidgeting.

"Alice…" she moaned again, tugging on my sleeve. "This is _torture_, Alice…"

"I know," I nodded, chewing my own lip in spite of myself. "I know, Bella."

She sank back against me, her head flopping down onto my shoulder. Her teeth still wouldn't leave her lip.

"Bella," I chided, seeing potential disaster caused by this action happening almost inevitably. "_Stop_ that…"

"Sorry."

Silence fell between us for a few more painful seconds. The plain crept at a snail pace towards the strip of grey concrete that stretched far into the distance – pausing to let two luggage vans glide past. I eyed the phone attached to the back of the seat in front of mine.

_Please refrain from using during take off and landing of plane. Thank you. _

Just as soon as we're up in the air…

I hadn't touched my little mobile since calling the airlines for to book our extremely last minute tickets. Briefly, whilst we drove at breakneck speed towards the airport, and then again whilst we waited in line for the security assistants to check out our bags…I had considered calling Jasper – but decided against it.

The last thing I wanted was to for him to find out what I was planning, what I was doing and where I was going…because I could already imagine to near-perfection what his reaction would be.

Jasper would be…well…Jasper. My Jasper. My overprotective fool. He would beg – insist – _order _that I come home, at once, right now – that I abandon this stupid, dangerous plan of mine and come back to him now, this instant, where he could see me and hold me and protect me and stop me from going any further…

I couldn't let that happen.

I couldn't call. Not yet, at least. When I was on the plane…once we were up in the air and gliding over the Atlantic Ocean towards our destination, half way to Italy already, impossible to go back, no point in stopping now…

Then I would call my husband…and tell him what I was planning.

*

"Hello? Hello, who is this? Alice? Alice, is that you?!"

"Jazz," I sighed, holding the phone tight against my ear. "Yes, it's me, it's Alice -"

"_Alice,_" he gasped, his voice a tidal wave of relief. "Alice…oh no, Alice…"

He took a deep breath. "Oh please, please, love, please tell me you're sitting safe and sound back at the Swan residence with Bella by your side and walls all around and not -!"

"Jazz –"

"_Tell me -!_"

"If I did," I murmured softly. "I'd be telling you one of the biggest lies I've ever –"

"- _where are you?!_" he hissed, his voice trembling with dread. Of course…Rosalie would have told him what I'd told her…_I'll be on a plane…_

"I'm…I'm…"

I closed my eyes; taking a deep breath. His reaction was already clearly imprinted in the immediate future; there was nothing left but to face it.

"I'm on a plane, Jazz," I whispered, as gently as I could. "I'm on a plane, and I'm…I'm headed for Italy."

Silence.

After a few deathly quiet seconds, I heard Jasper take a slow, deep breath in; as though desperately trying to calm himself enough to speak.

"All right, Alice," he said, very quietly, his voice trembling with forced calm. "All right…I want you to listen to me, love – when you get to your next stop, be that your connecting flight airport or Italy itself, you catch the first flight back to New York, find another call box, tell me where you are, and I'll come and get –"

"_Jasper_ –"

"I'm serious, Alice, you get off that plane, you leave _Bella Swan _alone, you leave that terrible town, and you don't move a muscle till I'm with –!"

"_Jasper –_"

"I _mean it, _Alice Cullen -!"

"_Jazz,_" I cried softly, forcing my voice to remain below a whisper but still express the defiance I needed it to. "_Stop_, please, let me explain –"

"Rosalie told me what happened_ –_!"

"And did she tell you about the last vision I had? About the plane tickets I booked hours ago? About how far I am out over America? About how Bella looks right now, sitting next to me like the dead body she should have been? About the werewolf who almost attacked me -?"

"_WHAT?!_"

Dang it. That had been going a bit too far…

"Jazz, listen, just listen to me, please, just for a second -!"

"A _werewolf -?!_"

"_Jasper!_"

"But -"

"_Jasper."_

Silence. Impossible, torturous, burning silence, crackling with what I knew what more restraint than Jasper had rarely had to use before.

I took a deep breath.

"Where's Carlisle?"

Jasper's breath came out in a gush like a giant wave breaking on a storm-swept beach.

"Gone off with the others downstairs to call the Swan's home and find out what's going on –"

"_Argh!_" I swore softly, slapping a hand to my forehead. "So that's why – idiots! Tell them to quit that right now, I can't see a thing -!"

"What are you talking about -?"

"I can't _see!_" I cried with a mixture of frustration and anger. "I can't see because of those dogs, those _mutts_…all over Bella's place..._urgh…_"

"Alice," Jasper begged. "_Please_, darlin', just tell me what's going on – why didn't you call me first, why do you have to be so reckless, what were you _thinking_ going off all alone without even telling me what you were…?!"

"I'm not alone, Jazz," I murmured – and this time, my voice was edged with guilt. "I'm…Bella's here, she's in the seat beside me, she's coming too, but don't worry –"

"_Why_, Alice? What were you thinking, letting her come, don't you realise what _they'll _think when they see -?!"

"Jasper."

More silence. Torn, this time – Jasper knew the meaning behind my quiet rebuke; knew that angry questioning was going to get us both nowhere – knew that above all, a full explanation was needed here. I heard him take another long, deep, calming breath – then let it flow out in a rush.

"All right," he murmured. "All right, then…Alice?"

I held the phone tight against my ear; the better to hear the soft, ringing notes of his deep, smooth, beautiful voice.

"Please, love…tell me _everything _that has happened to you since you…since I…since we…" His voice was strained with remorse again; that horrible, dead, hopeless remorse I knew so well from all the months I'd watched him struggle through after that terrible birthday party. "…since I behaved as unforgivably as to let you go back to somewhere I should have known would be fraught with more danger than I could ever know at the time. Everything, my love. Please. Every single detail…start at the beginning."

***

_Nice long chapter coming up next :D mostly conceding of a very, very, very long chat with Jasper. Happy Easter, everyone!_

NEST UPDATE SUNDAY

_REVIEWS ARE EVEN BETTER THAN EASTER EGGS!!!!!!!!!!_


	31. Chapter 18 THE FUNERAL PART 5

_Yes, I know these chapters are getting ridiculous. Over thirty and we've still got a hundred pages to go of New Moon. Sorry everyone. _

_Once I've finished the whole book, I WILL go over all the chapters and re-edit them, plus mould some together so the chapter count goes down a bit. _

***

Jasper stayed impossibly quiet throughout my entire explanation of what had occurred since that time back at Tanya's house, and that first vision which felt like it had happened a million years ago – though in truth, it was only a handful of days.

I couldn't believe it. Couldn't believe how much had happened…couldn't believe how much I'd done. How many problems I'd created – me and my stupid, flawed, faulty talent. My beloved future-seeing visions. Right now…it felt like a best friend had suddenly turned on me; something I loved so much…gone sour. For so many things lately, my gift had caused nothing but trouble.

I tried, surreptitiously, to skip the werewolves in the retelling of what had happened. Jasper would have to know sometime, I knew – but his impossible dead silence frightened me. I didn't want to add to whatever terrible worry and self-condemnation he would almost certainly be going through right now. Once this was all over…I would have to tell him. I knew that.

If I ever made it that far.

Finally, when the last words of my mammoth-length story had faded to silence, and the blonde hostess had begun shooting me disapproving looks, Jasper spoke.

"Tell me what you're going to do when you get there, Alice."

I didn't know where he was heading with this – but his tone was such that I didn't dare argue.

"I'm…going to have to see what Edward decides first, before I do anything," I said in a murmur. "His exact plan is unclear. At least for the moment."

"He might just go for a simple provocation…?"

"He'll ask them first," I said slowly, nodding ever so slightly to myself as the vision of the black-robed figures and the large, cavernous room slid firmly into view for the shortest of seconds. "Long before Bella and I get there, he'll ask them. There's nothing I can do to stop that, Jazz. And…and if they tell him yes…"

"…_considering the circumstances…"_

"…_want to die…"_

"…_do so hope Carlisle…"_

"…_want to die…"_

"…_give the Cullen what he wants –"_

"Alice? Are you still there -?"

"- Yes," I said quickly, shaking my head to rid it of the vision. "Yes, I'm still here – sorry, I meant…if they tell him yes…"

"And they could?" _How could he sound so calm…?_

"…yes, they could," I murmured slowly, "then…"

"Then there's no need for you to drive to Volterra from the airport," he murmured, half to himself. "No need at all…is there? There'll be nothing you can do – you can come home, you don't have to meet them, you'll be safe, and I can come get –"

"- _Jasper -!_"

"Whether it's selfish or not, Alice, it's still what you know as well as I do that it's the best for your safety!" he cried, his voice strained with what I knew, deep down inside, was a horribly twisted sort of hope. I wanted to scream at him to stop – stop saying and thinking and hoping for a scenario such as the one that I knew, truly, _was_ a possibility…such a terrible, terrible possibility…but one that would get me back to him alive…

I took a deep, shuddering breath.

"…If they tell him _no_," I began again. "Then he has some…back-up plans. Ways to expose himself quickly and cleanly – ways to end things as fast as possible. But they, the Volturi, will take a while to make their decision, of course, which will buy us some time. If we don't miss our connection, we could even be half-way there by then, and Edward's back-up plans will take time, he's so undecided, so if he leans towards something more complex, something more dramatic than simply throwing a Porsche through a wall –"

"Then you'll have time?"

"Then _we'll_ have time."

Jasper moaned softly.

"_Why_, Alice, _why_ did you have to drag her along too! Don't you know what the punishment for such explicit exposure as the one concerning Bella is? Don't you know what they could _do_ to you, when they find out you're involved, however loosely, with this flouting of the law…?"

"I couldn't leave her, Jazz," I murmured. "Not in the state she was in when she found out what I'd seen. And really…she's our biggest hope now. You know what Edward's like – he knows even if Bella was really dead, I'd be screaming out the same thoughts as I will be now, when she isn't! He'll rush into it, just to stop _me_ stopping him. But if I can get him to see Bella for real _first_ …"

"I can't let you do this, Alice."

I sighed softly; sadly. I knew him too well. "Jasper…"

"I won't let you. I can't."

"Jasper –"

"Do you have _any _idea of the danger you're flying into?"

"Yes, but –"

"Do you _fully understand_, Alice, what they could do to you when they see how caught up you are in this flouting of their most important law? When they see what you know?! What _Bella _knows?!"

"Jazz –!"

"It'll be no use denying it, Alice! Aro will have seen it for himself already, through _Edward's _mind -!"

"But -!"

"They could_ kill you, _Alice Cullen!" Jasper's voice was still quiet a whisper; but so cracked and trembling with notes of suppressed agony that it ring louder than any scream ever could. "_Kill_ you…kill _you_…Alice…_you…_"

"_Jasper,_" I begged. "Please, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I know it's not right, you being stuck at home, but I can'tcome back now, not when I'm half-way there -!"

"I'm coming after you, then –"

"_No!_" I cried in horror, earning myself another daggers glare from the blonde assistant. "_No, _Jasper -!"

"I can't just sithere-!"

"You _can,_" I insisted. "You _can _and you will_, _Jazz, that's exactly what you're going to do. Promise me. _Promise me._"

I had to make him understand. Someway, somehow, make him see how much this meant to me. How vital it was that above all, he not get caught up in this. That _he_ stayed safe. Out of danger.

That even if I died…he lived.

"Alice…"

"Promise me."

"_Alice…_" he moaned.

"What is you coming after me going to solve, Jazz? We're as good as there - you're still back in Denali. Even if you leave now, there's simply no way you can be in time to save him alongside me and Bella. You know that. But if they tell him no…"

"Alice…"

"There's a _chance_, Jasper," I said desperately. "A chance that _we _can reach him in time – a chance that _we _can stop this. Bella and I. And…" I bit my lip, closing my eyes. "…and you can't help me this time, Jazz. You can't protect me from this. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry…"

I had to convince him. Somehow, someway, I had to convince him…

I wouldn't dream of ever letting him know it – but I was, also, afraid of what he might do if he and Emmett and Rosalie followed, and _all five_ of us were too late. If we all found out the Volturi had killed our brother. I hadn't even considered how _I _would find myself reacting to the news…what I would do when Edward's killers would be standing right in front of me…what would Emmett, Rosalie, and Jasper be like…?

"Alice…"

"You _can't_, Jazz. You can't. Not this time. I'll be fine, I promise, I'll be fine – if they tell him no, if we don't miss our connection…"

"Miss your connection," Jasper pleaded in a choked whisper.

"_Jasper…_"

"Please, Alice…" He was begging, now. "Please, please, Alice, my Alice, my perfect, sweet, innocent, beautiful Alice…Alice…you truly want me tosit here at home whilst the Volturi condemn you for _Edward's_ –" he hissed the name with so much venom the hairs on the back of my neck prickled – "mistakes…for Bella's sake…for such useless, tiny things…to lose _you…?_"

"You won't," I murmured as gently as I could – but I couldn't quite keep my voice steady enough to be entirely reassuring. "You won't lose me, Jazz, I promise, I swear you won't lose me. And yes…that's exactly what I want you to do."

"I'm just about going insane with worry for you right now, love…what am I going to be like in a few hours time?" He laughed once; his voice cracked and utterly humourless. "A few _days _time?"

"In a few days time," I whispered. "We'll be together again. I'll be home. I'll be with you, Jasper - _I'm_ not the one who's broken the law, nor am I even really related to it in any way..."

"That doesn't matter to _them_," he hissed – but I could hear the fear ridden through his tone as he spoke. "You don't know what they're like, you haven't seen what they do – the very fact that you're consorting _with _the said human is reason enough for them to punish you…"

"Punish…as in…?"

"They might…might not…"

He took a deep, shuddering breath. "They might not…k-kill you," he whispered, his voice breaking over the word. "You know Aro recognizes…_power _when he sees it. He might not want to dispose of you. Waste your particular talent. He might simply allow Jane to…have a bit of…f-fun with you…"

"She's the one who can…?"

"Torture," Jasper whispered, his voice trembling with horror. "Yes. I suppose that's the most I can hope for…simply unbearable as the thought is…he might decide your involvement with the crime might not be quite worth death, just a caution, a little warning…a little pain…"

I shuddered.

I could hear Jasper trying to calm his ragged breathing; hear the creak of the phone as he held it too tight in his large, smooth, scarred hands…hear the sound of steps as he shifted from foot to foot…footsteps on wood…on concrete…voices…

…muffled voices…

…concrete…

_Edward, standing outside a tall plane on grey concrete, gazing up at the forget-me-knot blue sky…his eyes closed…the clock…the time…_

"Alice? Alice? Alice, love, are you still there?"

"I'm here…Jazz…" I murmured vaguely, the pictures flickering and fluttering like broken wings in front of my eyes. "…sorry. He's just got off the plane. Edward…he's there."

Jasper was quiet for a second – lost in the same fears I was.

He would reach Volterra soon. Very soon. Too soon. He would ask for what he wanted…and if they told him _yes_…

"If they tell him no…" Jasper was saying, slowly and quietly. "…you said he had back-up plans?"

"Several," I murmured. "Too many."

"And you still don't know – yet – which one he'll pick…?"

A bleeping sound interrupted him. Jasper swore, badly, under his breath, as a mechanical voice sounded in my ear.

_Three minutes left for maximum call length on this phone. Thank you._

The blonde assistant, standing across the room from me with one hand fiddling with something on a control panel, gave me a wide smile; reminding me, uncannily, of Rosalie. I glowered at her.

"Stupid phone…"

"Tell me quickly, love –"

"I can't be sure," I sighed, sinking back into my seat and letting my eyes drift shut, a few flickers of possible plans blurring in front of my gaze again. "I keep seeing him doing different things…"

_Edward sinking his razor-sharp teeth into the neck of human after helpless human across the city…Edward leaping at a tall, black cloaked figure in the cavernous room…a member of the Volturi…_

"He keeps changing his mind," I murmured to Jasper, my eyes and mind still half in the future – but I knew he was listening.

"What sorts of things is he…?"

"A killing spree through the city," I whispered, shuddering as the vision momentarily solidified in front of my gaze. "Attacking the guard…"

…"_attempted murder of one of our most highly-ranked members"…_

…"_punishable by death, Aro, you know that… the law…just give him what he wants…"…_

_Edward lifting a car…_

"…lifting a car…"

…_over…_

"…his head…"

…_in the…_

"…main square…"

"Things that would expose him?" Jasper asked.

"Things that would expose _them,_" I corrected. "He's knows that's the fastest way to force a reaction."

"He's right about that," Jasper muttered darkly. "Very right…_attacking _a member of the guard_…_Alice…oh Alice I can't do this, I can't_,_ they'll be beyond furious, you don't know what Caius is like and I'm_ coming – _"

"_No,_" I cried, dropping my voice as quiet as I could without it being inaudible as the assistant glared at me again. "No, you can't –"

"Emmett was planning to follow him with Rosalie anyway once they'd phoned the Swan's place –"

"Tell Emmett _no_," I hissed desperately.

"They might even have left already –"

"Well go after Emmett and Rosalie and _bring them back_," I said firmly.

"But –"

"Think about it, Jasper," I sighed, repeating what I'd tried so hard to make him understand earlier. "If he sees _any _of us…what do you think he'll do?"

"You told me this already," he growled. "He'll leap into it before we can stop him…"

"Exactly."

Silence. I heard Jasper take another slow, deep, calming breath; then let it out in a gush.

"You…truly think Bella…?"

"I think Bella is the only chance," I murmured, gentle now. "If there is a chance. I'll do everything that can be done. But…prepare Carlisle…the odds aren't good."

Jasper hesitated – then began to speak in a low whisper.

"Alice…" he said, so soft I could barely hear him. "You do know that…that Aro…"

I waited – clutching the phone so tight against me it was a wonder it didn't crumble into pieces, as if the plastic receiver would somehow bring me closer to him; near him. Near Jasper.

"You do realise, Alice…that…your talent…you don't know how powerful those visions could be…if Aro takes a fancy to you…you realise that Aro could very easily tell you that he's prepared to let you live if you join up?"

I laughed once; short, weak, and bland as the safety assistant's fake-smile.

"I've already thought of that."

More silence. Then…

"Alice, love…if I stay…if I promise you I'll stay and not follow…will you promise me something? Will you promise me that you'll get out…come back to me…?"

"_Yes_," I said at once, my relief indescribable. "Yes, I…I promise."

But the words were lies – lies, lies, lies, and we both knew it…

But what else could I do?

"Don't follow me," I pleaded softly, my voice begging him to understand. How incomparably important it was that he stay. That he stay safe.

"You promise?" Jasper whispered, his voice choked, but determinedly steady.

"I promise, Jasper," I lied again. "One way or another…I'll get out. And I love you."

I wanted to scream the words again; a thousand times over, and a thousand times louder. How much he meant to me. How much I loved him. How nothing could ever, ever mean more to me than him. How the only thing that mattered to me, now, was that he was safe.

"I love you more," Jasper was murmuring. "More, Alice. So much more. I love you. I love you. Come back to me. Please, please, my Alice, come back to me…"

A small bleep signalled that my time using this plane phone was up – and the line went dead. Silent. Gone.

And Jasper's voice gone with it.

***

_Once again, I was reading over some of my earlier chapters the other day and CRINGING every two words at my appalling writing. So…I want to say thank you once again to everyone who's stuck with me this far :D I have tried to improve since starting this story._

_Tempted to put the rest of this chapter here – but it's another three thousand words or so, which is just way too long._

_NEXT UPDATE WEDNESDAY-THURSDAY_


	32. Chapter 18 THE FUNERAL PART 6

_IN THIS CHAPTER:_

_Italic = flashbacks._

_In other chapters:_

_Italic = Alice's visions._

_Just in case you hadn't realised :D_

***

"I hate lying to him."

Bella's hand tightened momentarily around mine; squeezing with the weakest, warmest of pressures for a moment The comforting gesture did nothing to make me feel any better about what I'd just done.

I couldn't promise what I had promised. Whether the Volturi would hold me responsible for any crimes or not…I _couldn't _promise Jasper what I'd just promised.

But I had. In spite of it all…I had.

I'd lied so terribly to him.

"Alice," Bella's voice was saying urgently in my left ear as I leant back against the leather head-rest that was far too high for me, closing my eyes. "Tell me _everything _– I don't understand, why did you tell Jasper to stop Emmett? Why can't they come help us…?"

"Two reasons," I replied, my eyes still closed. "The first I told him. We _could _try and stop Edward ourselves – if Emmett could get his hands on him, we might be able to stop him long enough to convince him you're alive. But we can't sneak up on Edward. And if he sees us coming for him, he'll just act that much faster. He'll through a Buick through a wall or something, and the Volturi will take him down."

I sighed deeply. "That's the second reason of course, the reason I couldn't say to Jasper. Because if they're there and the Volturi kill Edward…they'll fight for him...."

_Emmett and Rosalie, at the very least…_

"Bella…" I let my eyes open then; gazing at her with the same desperate longing for understanding I'd needed from Jasper. Guilt filled me to the brim as I saw slow comprehension dawn on her. "Bella…if there were any chance we could win…if there were a way the four of us could save my brother by fighting for him, maybe it would be different. But we can't, and…Bella…I _can't _lose Jasper like that."

The last words were pleading; willing her to understand why I had made the choice I had. Why I'd insisted my husband not follow me…

Bella's slow nod of acceptance made me want to hug her.

"Couldn't Edward hear you, though?" she asked before I had the chance to. "Wouldn't he know, as soon as he heard your thoughts, that I was alive, that there was no point to this?"

"_If _he were listening. But believe it or not, it's possible to lie with your thoughts," I explained. "If you had died, I would still try to stop him. And I would be thinking 'she's alive, she's alive' as hard as I could. He knows that."

Bella grounded her teeth audibly; making an old man in a yellow shirt and sunglasses in the row in front of us glance round in surprise. I glared at him till he turned quickly away again. Bella's teeth moved to her lip. I fought back the urge to groan as impending disaster threatened again. So many dangers I was dragging her into…and still they continued to pile up, simply by her being _with _me…

"If there were any way to do this without you, Bella…" I said quietly. "…I wouldn't be endangering you like this. It's very wrong of me."

"Don't be stupid," Bella insisted, shaking her head – and thankfully, dropping the lip-gnawing. "I'm the last thing you should be worrying about."

I almost smiled at that.

"Tell me what you meant," she asked suddenly. "About hating to lie to Jasper."

I gave her a weak, painful smile. "I promised him I would get out…before they killed me, too. It's not something I can promise – not by a long shot."

I studied her reaction carefully; half-hoping for some sign of fear or trepidation to finally show in her brown eyes – but there was none. Only determination, worry, and pain…then the slightest trace of annoyance as she realised what I was waiting for.

"Who _are_ these Volturi?" she demanded, much too loudly. "_What_ makes them so much more dangerous than Emmett, Jasper, Rosalie, and you -?"

Several people dotted across the aisles turned to look with interest over at the sound of the noise – including the old man in the row in front. I glowered at each person in turn – spending especially long on the nosy air hostess – then turned to meet Bella's gaze with meaningful eyes. She shifted surreptitiously closer to me, and I moved my lips carefully to rest millimetres from her ear – determinedly ignoring the fresh waves of delicious scent wafting from a few inches down.

"I was a bit surprised that you recognized the name," I breathed, fighting the twinge of dry thirst that seared down my throat, speaking as quietly as I could. Above all, nobody – _nobody _must hear what I was about to tell her. "That you understood so immediately what it meant, when I said he was going to Italy. I thought I would have to explain. How much did Edward tell you?"

"He just said they were an old, powerful family – like royalty. That you didn't antagonize them unless you wanted to…die…" Her whispered voice broke on the last word – but she only shifted closer, waiting for the explanation.

I bit my lip in spite of myself. Maybe I wasn't the best person to explain all this to her…

Over the years, both Edward, Carlisle, Tanya's family, and Jasper had told me, through various short explanations and stories, who the Volturi were. And what they did.

I'd never met them – aside from the picture hanging in Carlisle's office, I'd never even seen them – nor did I know many in-depth details about them. Just what I'd heard, or been told, in snippets, from my family.

I thought for a moment – then leant impossibly closer to my friend, and breathed the story in whispers soft as Jasper's voice had been into her ear.

"You have to understand," I began slowly. "We Cullens are unique in more ways than you know. It's…abnormal for so many of us to live together in peace. It's the same for Tanya's family in the north, and Carlisle speculates that abstaining makes it easier for us to be civilised, to form bonds based on love rather than survival or convenience. Even James's little coven of three was unusually large –and you saw how easily Laurent left them. Our kind travel alone…or in pairs, as a general rule."

_Like Jasper and me at the beginning, _I thought with a small pang of homesickness. _Just the two of us…travelling alone as mates…just Jasper and me…_

"Carlisle's family is the biggest in existence, as far as I know," I continued quietly to Bella. "With…the one exception. The Volturi."

I bit my lip again, hesitating – then plunged in.

"There were three of them originally," I began, taking Carlisle's first words to me about them as a starting point. "Aro, Caius, and Marcus."

"_One rather overenthusiastic and friendly, one cold and cutting, and one silent and altogether rather mysterious…at least, Marcus seemed that way to me, during my time there," Carlisle had said. "And all unfailingly clever…cunning also. And I suppose sometimes rather too happy with their positions of power."_

"I've seen them," Bella was mumbling, much too loudly. "In the picture in Carlisle's study."

I nodded. Edward had mentioned it to me. "Two females joined them over time," I went one. "And the five of them make up the family…"

"_Aro and Caius's mates,"_ _Carlisle had explained, when I'd asked who the two females were._

"_Marcus doesn't have a…?"_

"_I found out later, from Aro, that Marcus did in fact have a mate – many, many years ago. She was killed during an early battle with the Romanians – which I suppose is one of the reasons the wives stay so confined to the tower, now. Confined…but safe. Marcus never got over losing his wife. Never."_

"I'm not sure," I continued slowly, a thought suddenly striking me. "But…I suspect their age is what gives them the ability to live peacefully together. They are well over three thousand years old. Or maybe it's their gifts that give them extra tolerance. Like Edward and I, Aro and Marcus are…talented."

What kind of talents, I had no idea – I'd never thought to ask Carlisle or Jasper. But I knew they were all highly gifted…aside from Caius, of course…

"_Caius doesn't have a talent?"_

"_He may as well have," Jasper had murmured in response to my questioning. "When it comes battle skills. General knowledge of war…strategies…of fighting. Whatever you want to call it, Caius loves it all – he is incomparable. He doesn't need a talent like Marcus or Aro's."_

"_So that's why the guard-people are so formidable? So powerful? Because of Caius's training?"_

"_So formidable…so flawless at their job of punishing, of capturing, of tracking, of killing…yes. So powerful…no. Aro hand-picks his recruits for exactly that – their power. The value of individual gifts. The guard themselves are powerful alone…but through them, Aro harnesses that for his own needs. To achieve his own ends. In truth…all three leaders love their position for exactly that; the power."_

"Or…" I murmured, thinking over Jasper's last words. "…maybe it's just their love of power which binds them together. Royalty is an apt description."

Bella was looking confused. "But if there are only five –"

"Five that make up the family. That doesn't include their guard."

Silence.

"That sounds…serious…" Bella mumbled apprehensively.

"Oh it is," I agreed, smiling grimly. "There were nine members of the guard that were permanent, the last time we heard. Others are more…transitory. It changes."

"_Why's that, then?"_

"_Depends," Edward had shrugged. "Some get bored…some dislike the restrictions placed on them…some find they don't like being used. Some find mates. Some wish to join other covens, or form ones of their own, like Carlisle."_

"Many of them are gifted as well," I explained to Bella, my voice careful now. I wanted to warn her of the danger…but I didn't want to scare her. Though I suppose she needed to be, really, to take any of this seriously. "With formidable gifts, gifts that make what I can do look like a parlour trick. The Volturi choose them for their abilities, physical or…otherwise…"

"…_otherwise?"_

_Edward had grinned at me from across the living room. "Jasper's trying not to scare you, Alice. He's trying to give you a light version of something much darker."_

_I'd sighed, smiling fondly up at Jasper's face far above mine – my head in his lap. He'd chuckled darkly, stroking my hair. "I don't know much about many of them myself. I only saw a few in action once or twice at any rate, but…to give you an idea…there's a tracker, one called Demetri – he can track anything, find anything, anywhere, anyplace, anytime, no trouble whatsoever. Nothing can disable his skills – he works through the mind, through the…inside, I suppose. There's a girl called Renata, who can protect about a handful of people from physical attack, there's one called Chelsea who can break ties, loyalties and relationships between people and build them too, there's a couple of fighters Caius hand-picked for talent in battle – Afton, I think one of them was called, and Felix…an older member called Corin, and two very young ones called…Jane and Alec."_

_I'd frowned at that – I'd heard the names before, though where I could never remember. "What are their talents?"_

"_Things you wouldn't want to cross in a million years," Jasper had murmured, his voice quiet with dread at the thought. "Jane is…in short…a torturer. She causes pain, again through the mind – unbearable pain. Pure agony. Alec's gift is more complicated. He can control the senses – blind you, deafen you, make you unable to feel…numb you. Render you utterly helpless – and he can work over groups of people at once, as many as Aro needs him to – where as Jane can only hurt individuals. They're twins – biological brother and sister. According to Carlisle, they were spotted as humans and changed a short time before he joined…"_

Bella was watching me with an odd expression on her face. She opened her mouth – then closed it again, her face wary, but decided. I nodded in understanding – there was no point, really, in telling her the specifics when we both knew our chances were so slim no matter what.

"They don't get into too many confrontations," I murmured softly. "No one is stupid enough to mess with them. They stay in their city, leaving only as duty calls."

"Duty?"

I frowned. "Didn't Edward tell you what they do?"

"No," she said, shaking her head. I glanced carefully over my shoulder, right and left, then moved to whisper in her ear again.

"There's a reason he called them royalty…the ruling class. Over the millennia they have assumed the position of enforcing our rules – which actually translates to punishing transgressors. They fulfil that duty decisively."

Bella's mouth dropped "There are _rules?!_" she cried in amazement.

"_Shh!_"

Two teenagers in the aisle opposite glanced round with mild interest. I glowered at them for several seconds, until they both looked away warily. Bella was gazing at me with disbelief and resentment clear in her eyes.

"Shouldn't somebodyhave _explained_ this to me earlier?!" she hissed angrily. "I mean, I wanted to be a…to be one of you! Shouldn't somebody have explained the rules to me?"

I laughed quietly – briefly – at her reaction. She really had no idea how simple the few laws the Volturi had lain down over the years truly were. "It's not that complicated, Bella," I reassured her. "There's only one core restriction – and if you think about it, you can probably figure it out for yourself."

Bella frowned – eyebrows furrowing in obvious deep thought. I suppressed a smile as she slowly shook her head.

"Nope. I have no idea."  
"Maybe it's too obvious..."

I threw a gaze quickly round the plane to check every other passenger was sufficiently occupied – then whispered the answer.

"We have to keep our existence a secret," I murmured, just loud enough for Bella to hear, watching her reaction.

"Oh," she mumbled sheepishly. I smiled sympathetically – remembering my own reaction to the almost laughably simple law.

"_That's it? That's all?"_

_Jasper had smiled – tucking me tighter against him under his arm. "Not quite, darlin'. There are a few other small rules – and then of course, the obvious punishable crimes such as attacking members of the guard or leaders themselves. I suppose they were thinking of the Romanians when they thought up that one. And you remember the immortal children…cases may be rare these days, but the rule still applies…"_

"It makes sense," I murmured to Bella. "And most of us don't need policing. But, after a few centuries, sometimes one of us gets bored. Or crazy. I don't know."

There was more to it, of course, but Bella had enough on her plate right now without me adding reckless newborn wars and immortal children. "And then the Volturi step in before it can compromise them, or the rest of us."

"So Edward…"

"Is planning to flout their own city – the city they've secretly held for three thousand years, since the time of the Etruscans…"

"_According to Aro, he met Marcus there, back in the beginning. Marcus's mate joined them soon after. A few of the members – Corin and Chelsea I believe were among them – were there too, and he met Caius and his mate Athendora a little while after that."_

"_And did they always hunt…like they do now? Even when there were so few of them?"_

"_No. Aro said the method was devised only much later on. In the beginning, they would take it in turns to hunt outside separately – in small groups. Later on, he told me a few handfuls of outside vampires began to talk that the Volturi were endangering the secrecy of their kind just as much as the nomads they punished – by hunting so often in their own city. Their reputation began to suffer – so he and Caius began to develop a new method. The city is safe as can be these days…"_

No harm in telling Bella that, I thought.

"They are so protective of their city that they don't allow hunting within its walls," I explained quietly. "Volterra is probably the safest city in the world – from vampire attacks at the very least."

"But you said they didn't leave. How do they eat?"

I hesitated. "They…don't leave. They bring in food from the outside, from quite far away sometimes. It gives their guard something to do whilst they're not out annihilating mavericks. Or protecting Volterra from exposure…"

I trailed off, not really wanting to go into detail. Bella was biting her lip again.

"From situations like this," she murmured, finishing my sentence for me. "Like Edward."

"I doubt they've ever had a situation quite like this," I muttered darkly. "You don't get a lot of suicidal vampires."

The sound that fell from Bella's lips was so quiet I barely heard it – but even I could tell that it was a cry of pain. I wrapped one small arm round her shoulders, hating myself. After trying so hard not to make her more afraid than was necessary...I could be so stupid sometimes.

"We'll do what we can, Bella," I told her as gently as I could. "It's not over yet…"

…_Edward running…Volterra looming, high and far in the distance…Edward pausing, gazing with hollow, black eyes at his destination, his face set…he still had a long way to go…_

"Not yet…" Bella echoed, her voice as hollow as the depths of Edward's empty eyes. "And…" She paused, a thought seeming to strike her – and a weak ghost of a smile drifted onto her lips. "And the Volturi will get us if we mess up."

I stared blankly at her for a second – her words not sinking in at first. "You say that like it's a good thing."

She shrugged – her eyes far away…_too _far away…

My whole body froze as I realised both the meaning, the relief…and the satisfaction, behind her words.

"Knock it _off, _Bella," I hissed very quietly. "Or we're turning around in New York and going back to Forks."

"What?" she mumbled innocently, refusing to meet my gaze. I glowered at her – though my stomach was sinking fast as a pebble through water as it dawned on me just exactly why she was nowhere near as worried about doing this as I was. Because if the Volturi killed Edward before we could stop them…death for her would be a mercy. She was _glad _for the easy out.

My stomach contracted. To lose first Edward…then _her…_

"You know what, Bella," I answered in reply to her, struggling to keep my voice calm. "If we're too late for Edward, I'm going to do my damnedest to get you back to Charlie, and I don't want any trouble from you. Do you understand that?"

"Sure, Alice."

Her voice scared me. So casual. So _relaxed_.

She knew now _exactly _what she had to do to get her wish if Edward was killed. I'd as good as formulated her plan for her, telling her all about them, about what would antagonize them most…

_Oh Jasper, I need you. I need you, Jasper. I need your talent. I need your calm…I need you…I need you…_

"…No trouble, Bella," I managed, struggling to keep both my fierce expression in place, and my voice steady.

"Scout's honour," she muttered.

But she wouldn't meet my gaze as she spoke.

***

_I loved this chapter. Seriously…I loved it. I know the flashbacks of Alice hearing about the Volturi weren't really necessary…but they were so much fun to do! _

_Hope you liked reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it :D _

_AND REVIEWS WILL MAKE ME LOVE THIS CHAPTER EVEN MORE!!!!!!!!!!_


	33. Chapter 18 THE FUNERAL PART 7

_**Aro is an absolute nightmare **to get in character. As is **Caius**. Actually…just the **Volturi in general**. Been tearing my hair out over this chapter, hope it's decent – my Mum liked it, at least._

_(Corin is in the BD index. Aelfric…was named for personal reasons. Read chapter to understand.)_

_(Bella's just revealed how happy she is that she'll have an easy out if they can't save Edward; the Volturi will kill her.)_

_**Nice long chapter to make up (hopefully) for going on holiday and not bothering to update...**_

* * *

I rolled my eyes, trying to cover up just how much she was frightening me – forcing a strained smile to twitch my lips. Bella continued to gaze steadily at the seat in front of her, her face unreadable.

Visions played at the edges of my sight; layer after layer, now queuing up to be viewed. I'd missed a lot whilst spending so much time talking to her. My head was starting to feel strange – not dizzy, or even aching. Just overloaded.

I glanced once at the digital clock above Bella's head to check just how much time we had left before landing…then slowly leant back in my seat.

"Let me concentrate now," I told her quietly. "I'm trying to see what he's planning."

_On top of a billion other things, too…_

She did look at me then – her expressionless face slipping into curiosity as she watched me let my head fall back against the – much too high – headrest, and close my eyes.

_Ugh. _I'd missed so much. _Too _much. I always judged it so badly – there was always so much more to see than I could ever anticipate. I reached up my free hand towards my face, pressing it against my temple as tidal wave of pouring, sweeping futures flooded my mind – tumbling over each other too fast for me to tell which was which. I waited for the mad rush to calm a little, then carefully pushed my way through towards Edward, going for his immediate future…

_Edward still running along a grassy bank this time, a packed motorway to his left, a river to his right, Volterra just slightly closer…_

I struggled to peer at the sun high above the scene, hoping for some indication of the time…

_Edward, a little farther on, his feet pounding against concrete as he entered the town via a side street…Edward, his feet against brown stone now, old stone, heading through a small market place, the hill on which Volterra stood now looming above as well as in front of him…the light a little dimmer…sunset…twilight…_

He would reach them soon. Very soon…

Something flickered at the edge of my peripheral vision – something further on.

_Edward reaching a hole, pulling back a manhole cover, climbing through…Edward entering through an odd, broken gap in piles of mismatched brick and stone…a different entrance…Edward waiting, uncertain and undecided, by the edge of a dark alleyway, as though hoping some guard member might come along and help him choose how best to approach the Volturi, and by what entrance…_

That's was it, I thought vaguely as Edward's decisions swarmed my mind like fluttering bees. He was trying to work out exactly how to go about this…exactly how to approach them...and several minutes of deliberating later…

_Edward – standing still and immobile as a statue by the black hole, the decision firmly fixed as he chose his path, the iron cover lying at his feet, gazing into black…_

"_You, there!"_

_Edward turning, the vaguest hint of apprehension filtering through the blank nothingness of his eyes…a grey-cloaked figure, followed by two more in darker shades, drifting down the ally towards him, blurred slightly at the edges because these were new people, new futures, unfamiliar to me…_

"_What do you think you're doing, hanging round here?"_

"_Hey, Corin, hold up a second…"_

"_Sir," one of the darker-cloaked Volturi members said swiftly, pulling down his hood and revealing a mop of deep auburn hair, the colour odd combined with his burgundy eyes. "I'm sure you understand what this place is, and who resides within it, so if you don't mind –"_

"_I'm sorry for drawing attention to myself." Edward's voice was only just audible; like an echo sounding hollow and dead through the inside of a tomb. "I simply came here to speak with your masters, if this is possible…"_

"_What?"_

"_I wish to speak with your masters…"_

"_Why?" The darkest cloaked woman, Corin, her small, thin face just visible under her hood. "For what reason? On whose orders?"_

"_On no orders. I am alone. I simply wish to speak with them…"_

"_What about?"_

_Silence. Edward dithering…blurred decisions…_

"_I would rather keep that between…"_

"…_I think I would prefer…"_

"…_if you don't mind…"_

"_I think our masters have better things to be doing than listen to stray nomads…"_

"_Please. All I ask is…"_

"_You are alone, you say? No coven? No mate?"_

"_I had a coven…"_

"_But you travel alone now?"_

"_Aelfric, come on –"_

"_- please, if you'll just let me speak –"_

"_- Corin –"_

"_- with your masters –"_

"_- but –"_

"_Carlisle Cullen," Edward said suddenly, and though his voice was still like that of a zombie's, an idea seeming to form in his dead eyes. "Carlisle Cullen, that's the name of the vampire who's coven I belong to, surely one of you remember him, he was here a few centuries ago, he lived with you for some time…?"_

"_Who?"_

_The word was spoken by Corin, her face creasing in a frown…she had odd skin, I realised vaguely, slightly papery…thin…_

"_Carlisle Cullen."_

"_Carlisle? The golden-eyed one? Aro's friend?"_

"_Please, if you will just allow me to…"_

"_Corin, come on, Master Caius will be wondering what's happened to us, let him come along too, is it such a problem…?"_

_Corin watching Edward with narrowed scarlet eyes…Edward staring expressionlessly back; of course, his eyes were near-onyx, Corin wouldn't be able to tell whether they had ever been gold or not…_

"_Please Corin, Aelfric, my only wish…truly… is to speak with Aro, nothing more, nothing less, I promise you…"_

"_Let him come." _

_The third guard member, a tall, silent man, speaking for the first time in minutes…and though his answer wasn't fully fixed in the vision as a possibility, it still sounded clear enough for me to hear…_

"_What harm can it do?"_

_Silence…Corin considering…the other two watching her, waiting for her to make the decision, respecting her choice above their own; she was obviously the higher ranker…_

"_We will take you to speak with Aro. Whether he listens to what you have to say or even allows you to be admitted is his choice though, understand that – we have reports to pass on to Master Caius."_

_Corin gesturing to the hole; one pale, long-fingered hand held out to signify Edward should go first…the two males nodding once at Corin, then moving to drift behind Edward, blocking both routes of escape for him down the remaining alleys…Edward's face unreadable as he stepped over and into the depths of the black hole…_

I let myself drift then; forced to accept what I'd seen. I let the visions blur together and distort the sight of Edward waiting for the rest of his escorters to follow him down, satisfied with what I'd seen. My head gave an odd kind of throb. Again, not quite an ache…just a discomfort I'd felt only once or twice before. I pressed two fingers to my temple again; forcing back a wince. _Overloaded_. _Too much at once_…

_But there was_ _so much I still needed to see…_

"_Demetri."_

_A tall, undeniably beautiful man with dark, wavy hair…I recognized the name, knew him instantly to be the tracker, the one Jasper had told me about…_

"_Corin! Finally, what took you so…oh…"_

"_This man wishes to speak with Master Aro. He wouldn't say why – only that he belonged to the coven of Carlisle Cullen – you remember him, don't you…?"_

"_Him? Goodness, not the…the…_vegetarian…?_"_

"…_do you think it would be possible…"_

"…_you, what did you say your name was?"_

"_I didn't." Edward's face was a stone mask; unreadable. "But it's Edward, if you want to know. Edward Cullen."_

"…_if you wait whilst I see whether Master could consent to…"_

"…_doubt that he'll be bothered…"_

"…_if you would wait…"_

"…_wait…"_

"…_wait…"_

Minutes went by. I lost track of time as I watched Edward slowly near the city, just seconds into the future. After almost three quarters of an hour, he began to climb the steep hill to reach the heart of the town, his footsteps slower now…his decisions turning to how he would go exactly about asking the leaders _themselves_ for what he wanted…

_Seconds becoming minutes…minutes becoming near a whole hour…Demetri entering the room and turning to Edward where he sat, limp and still as a corpse, waiting, waiting, waiting…_

"_My masters will see you now. If you would follow me, Edward…"_

My unbeating heart plummeted. This was it…this was what was going to happen, mere hours into the future, whilst Bella and I scrambled our way onto our next flight, and the next leg of our journey…

I watched as the scene focussed and began to play out with surprising clarity before my eyes.

_The giant, cavernous room, round and black stone walled – empty aside from a few stray, grey-cloaked figures, some of whom were scattered unnaturally close around three men, two seated in large, dark wood thrones, one standing…_

_Sweeping midnight clothed all three…_

I recognized them, I realised with a jolt. Of course, I would do now – I'd seen one of them already, back in Bella's garden – Aro…but the picture was clearer now, clear because I was so much more attuned, clear so I could make out faces, features, _familiar_ features from that painting of Carlisle's…

_The man I recognized turned – Aro, black-haired and red-eyed; the colour was dark with thirst, but oddly clouded, almost milky, and his skin was unnervingly frail and papery, pale as alabaster…he raised his eyebrows as Edward slowly paced down the room, guided by Demetri on one side, and a stranger on the other…_

"…_this is him?"_

_His voice was strange too – a soft sighing, wispy as the stray threads of his trailing cloak…_

_Demetri was nodding, pushing Edward forward to stand several feet from the three ancients, not even glancing at Caius or Marcus, but facing Aro with black, grave-like eyes…two bottomless holes in the head of a walking corpse…_

_Aro's face was uncannily friendly as he looked Edward up and down._

"_You are Edward? Edward Cullen…?"_

"…_have been told, but…"_

_Muffled voices…the decisions were unclear, the conversation not solid in the future as its cause depended on so many things…_

"… _Demetri tells me you come from a coven of Carlisle's, my dear old friend…"_

"_I do."_

"_Well…" He was smiling widely now…_

"…_was wondering when…"_

"…_such a lovely surprise…"_

"…_did Carlisle send you, then…?"_

"_No. I came of my own accord…in fact, I suspect Carlisle has only recently even found out where I am…"_

"…_come with a request…"_

_Decisions…an odd, wavering uncertainty I didn't understand…oh Jasper, there's so MUCH I don't understand…_

"…_Carlisle would be hunting…"_

"…_Rocky Hills Woods in Ithaca…"_

"_You don't mean to tell me…" _

_A flickering reaction…Aro's strange eyes widening suddenly with disbelief… _

"…_you can't mean to tell me that Carlisle is still feeding…like _that_…?"_

"_He has been and still is vegetarian. Along with the rest of us."_

"_The _rest _of you?!"_

I almost smiled at that. Aro's face was a picture…

"_Yes," Edward was murmuring in a monotone._

"_But…but how many…?"_

"_Seven."_

"Seven?" _the ancient gasped softly. "But that's…impossible…"_

"…_I don't believe it…"_

"…_never would have thought it…"_

"… _incredible…"_

_More blurred possibilities…Edward frowning just slightly with discomfort as he read through Aro's mind what he wanted…_

"…_suppose Carlisle has told you of my gift, Edward…?"_

"…_simply remarkable…"_

"…_would be just so wonderful if I could see for myself – if you wouldn't mind, that is…"_

_Edward still frowning, his black eyes flickering once round the room to the few members of gathered guard…Aro reaching towards him, palm upheld as if to shake his hand, his seemingly effortless smile giving nothing away…_

_My brother realising that no matter how sweetly polite Aro might sound, he didn't really have much of a choice in the matter…_

_The still smiling ancient drifting towards him and taking Edward's hand in his…_

I watched this part with interest; what had he meant, see for himself? See Edward's family? My family? Why? And more importantly, _how…?_

_Minutes passing…_

"…_my goodness…"_

"…_incredible…"_

"…_unbelievable…"_

"…_a…_human_…"_

"…_such a strange…such a bizarre notion…"_

"…_a mere human girl…"_

"…_never would have believed it possible…"_

"…_how _extraordinary…_"_

"…_and so strong, the call of her blood, and…"_

"…_and…"_

"…_unreadable…"_

"…_fascinating…"_

"…_but now…"_

_Words sifting over and around each other…a mush of possible conversations and comments from Aro…_

"_Tragic, such a rare occurrence – unique, even, had to be cut so short…"_

"…_tragic…"_

"…_but nevertheless, fascinating…"_

"…_and your family too…"_

…_absolutely enthralling…" _

"…_had no idea; _seven_ unique vampires, three separate pairs of mates, all living in such harmony together…oh Edward, so many questions I have for you…"_

"…_perhaps you could answer _my _question; my request, before you get too carried away, Aro…"_

My fists clenched tight; the question had sparked more feeble, teetering fragments of future to interrupt as Aro dithered over his reply…

"…_Edward…"_

"…_knew you must have had some reason for visiting us here, other than to bring such fascinating new knowledge to my brothers and I, but _this…?"

_The white-haired one, face obscured by uncertainty and the fact I'd barely seen him once in my life before, spoke in a voice just as feathery as his brother's – but feathers with needle-sharp points. _

"_What is it, Aro? Why is he here? What does he want…?"_

"_You know I have no option," Edward was murmuring_._ "There is no way for me to end this myself…no way for me to end _myself._ I ask this of you because I have no choice…"_

_No choice…_

…_no choice…_

Oh Edward, if only you _knew…_

"…_see no reason why…" That was Caius speaking…_

"…_highly unusual…"_

"…_what is he to us…?"_

"_Caius, dear brother, there is much more to this than you think…"_

_Deliberating…Marcus, oddly, was not saying a single word, his face obscured from my sight as he gazed off in the opposite direction…Aro considering, wondering how to explain what he needed to explain to his brother and gathered retinue…_

My hands clenched around the arms of the plane chair as the briefest glimmer of Edward's head being torn from his body by a red-eyed guard member flickered in front of my eyes…

"_Just a few seconds of your guard's time, Aro, and my request can be granted…"_

"_But Edward, you said so yourself –" He chuckled at his own words, the sound out of place and ghostly soft. "- you _thought _so yourself, that Carlisle was ignorant of your decision, and you knew he and the rest of the coven would try to stop you…"_

"_Carlisle can do nothing to stop me now," Edward said blatantly – answering the question he must have read from Aro's mind. "And whether you grant my request or not, he won't hold you responsible…I'm almost certain of it…"_

"_Almost is not quite certain enough, Edward…"_

My fists clenched the arms of the chair so hard I heard a small crack as the plastic crunched the tiniest bit beneath my grip…

…_more dithering from Aro's part…thinking…considering…_

I fought back a groan with extreme difficulty. My head was spinning; I wanted to snarl with frustration at all the stupid, stupid, _stupid _decisions, nothing but decisions, nothing but those other words like possibility, like future, like uncertain, like _undecided_…

But Aro's reply to Edward's request was clear. He would dismiss him, tell him he would discuss with his brothers what Edward wanted from them, and call him in once the decision – that _stupid_ word again – had been made. And then after that…

I'd reached the crossroads. At last.

The outcome could part in two ways. A blurred and thoroughly uncertain yes…or a vague but possible, much more possible no.

_Oh please, please, please, God, anyone, anywhere, please, please let it be a no…_

"Alice…"

A voice was calling to me…a new voice…Bella's voice….

"Alice, we have to go…"

A warm pressure against my arm signalled that Bella was trying to get me to wake up from my trance…anxious to know what I'd found out after so much searching. My eyes came open very, very slowly; the world too sharp and too bright in front of them. The digital clock up above our seats told me our plane should be landing in less than three minutes.

My head gave another small, protesting throb as I glanced out of the window to see the plane touch down with a small bump; airport buildings visible across a sea of sweeping grey concrete.

Bella was gazing expectantly down at me; her chocolate eyes a strange mixture of hope and dread. I heaved a long, deep sigh, shaking my head slowly from side to side.

"Anything new?" Bella asked urgently.

"Not exactly," I murmured, slightly reluctantly. I thought for a moment, wondering how much to tell her – then decided to go for a simple reply. "He's getting closer. He's deciding how he's going to ask."

Bella didn't respond to my useless words. Just shifted closer to my seat – and leant her head against my shoulder again, just like she had back in Forks. Her hand crept round mine again as tightly once again as the plane slowly, slowly, _slowly _crawled to a stop outside the New York city airport.

I watched Edward edge down a dark, narrow alleyway with a slim black manhole cover at the end of it, and waited for the blonde air hostess to signal the plane ready for exiting.

* * *

_For anyone who's interested…**HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!! **Off now to buy my cake and candles and spend my birthday book tokens…on a new copy of Breaking Dawn! My old one got borrowed by a friend who then went off to live in Israel (?!?!)…growl…_

_Obviously **in real life**, the scene of Edward asking the Volturi would **play out much longer **and more in depth – Alice was just skimming the surface, which was blurred enough by all the events and decisions that would lead up to it. And I think **Aro** would be a pretty **last-minute-decision **kind of person when it came to saying what he wanted to say, what with his **chaotic train of thought **and all, so I tried to factor that in. Dunno, maybe it was a disaster. Ah well. _

**_Reviews are just the best birthday presents ever!_**


	34. Chapter 18 THE FUNERAL PART 8

_Our computer decided to go berserk. AGAIN. **No internet or email for days **– v. annoying, but now it's finally fixed, so here's another chapter. _

* * *

We had to run like maniacs for our connection – me half dragging, half carrying Bella down sloping carpeted corridors and over walkways to reach the plane in time, whilst desperately trying to keep track of Edward's progress. But we made it. Just.

The meeting with Corin, Aelfric and the other Volturi member unfolded itself exactly as I had seen it – with just a few, small, last-minute decision changes. Edward was taken down to the room where Demetri waited…Corin explained to him who Edward was and why he was here…Edward was told to wait.

And wait.

And wait…

I opened my eyes an immeasurable amount of time later to find Bella fast asleep in the seat beside me. Her face was pale as death – pale as Edward – her clothes rumpled and her hair a tangled mess from tossing and turning so much. I'd tried so hard to persuade her to eat or drink something, anything, to keep her strength up – but she'd refused point blank. She hadn't wanted to sleep, either…but clearly, that was something she'd been unable to fight.

I let my head fall back in my seat again, my eyes drifting shut once more. Edward's progress flickered like a stuttering candle in front of my eyes…_just another half hour…_

_Just another twenty minutes…fifteen minutes…five minutes…two minutes…two seconds…_

I watched with fists clenched tight and teeth gnawing at my lip as Edward was lead from the room he'd been waiting in through to the huge dark chamber now horribly familiar to me…

Fifteen minutes later, I was watching the three ancient leaders of the Volturi begin to discuss the fate of my brother in low murmurs. Carlisle was right, I realised with a small smile. Right about one of the three in particular. Marcus had hardly said a word throughout their entire discussion; sitting still and silent, slumped in his throne, whilst Caius spoke urgently and with increasing irritation to his other fellow leader – both of them standing a few feet away, the thrones forgotten.

A few stray guard members – Demetri and Aelfric the auburn-haired one among them – stood a little way off from the giant wooden chairs, also murmuring in low voices about the strange golden-eyed nomad now waiting for his verdict outside in the hall. Each member wore the same flowing cloak of various shades of grey and black with plain, nondescript clothes underneath; their horribly significant scarlet eyes darkened with thirst. Those who had been with the coven when Carlisle had left were explaining to those who weren't who he was – and what he did. How he had lived – and how, according to what Aro had learned from the nomad's mind, he _still _lived.

Vegetarianism was an alien enough notion to them all for endless discussion – something Aro must have factored in, or he would have dismissed them all when he did Edward to give him and his brother some privacy for their conversation.

I sat in my plane seat, still as a statue, frozen with dread, worry, hope, fear, and a million other emotions besides, as the discussion went on. Caius was all for granting Edward's request – _"Truly, brother, what is he to us? Just a mere second and this will all be over, and we can get on with the plans for the Southern visit. Felix can deal with him, he will be pleased to have something to do…"_

…Aro, on the other hand…

"_Caius, brother…"_

…was less enthusiastic…

"_Don't you see? Don't you understand? You did not see what I saw through his mind – such a find Carlisle's incredible coven is, such a fascinating –!"_

"_Why do you worry for the coven?!" Caius's voice was a low hiss. " What difference will it make if we grant his request and he -?"_

"_That's what I am trying to explain to you, dear brother…"_

…a blur of possible arguments, possible raised voices, possible Marcus intervening flittered against my eyelids…then…

"…_now, think of the possibilities. I told you, _five _potential talents – if we grant Edward his wish, if I give the order for his death… a well-loved family member killed on our account…well, they won't exactly be very well-disposed towards us _then_, will they? Aside from the fact one of those five – Edward – would be gone and quite out of our reach already…"_

"_You said only three were truly qualifiable –"_

"_That may be so, but still, _three _with power such as theirs…don't you see how I am thinking here, brother, we must examine this carefully –"_

"_Then we shall offer a place to Edward Cullen. I do admit it, long distance hearing would be undeniably useful…but if he declines –"_

"_- which he is likely to –"_

"_We must see what he says. But Aro, if his answer is no, then let us get this over with…"_

I fiddled agitatedly with a stray thread on the edge of my seat as Caius's voice began to muffle and fade, then vanish completely…Aro was speaking again…

"_He has so much _potential_…to throw it all away, and risk upsetting Carlisle's coven also…so wasteful…"_

"_The boy said so himself that Carlisle will not hold us responsible. You saw from his mind he spoke the truth…"_

"_I saw that he believes – hopes – Carlisle will not take out any resentment on us. But dear Edward may be wrong. He can't know how Carlisle would truly react…or the rest of his coven…"_

"_And you worry that chances of recruitment from them will as good as disappear if we kill their brother?"_

"_I do. Along with several handfuls of other worries…"_

"_Marcus? What do you think?"_

Silence fell then. I focussed my vision on Marcus's blank face; the picture blurred because he was new and an utter stranger to me. He spoke so quietly I hardly heard; his tone as emotionless as Edward's. I frowned in confusion; the contrast between him and his two other fellow leaders completely taking me by surprise.

"_If death is what he truly wants, let him have it. His mate is dead. All he asks for is a relief from that. A small favour; one that we can grant him. I see nothing wrong with that."_

_Aro nodded slowly, his eyes on the marble ground, seeming to be lost in thought. Caius watched him with narrowed red eyes…_

Minutes went passed – broken only by a few more quiet words from two of the ancients. Marcus spoke no more; he gazed off into the distance, to the door Edward had left by, his face as blank as before…almost _bored_…

So I waited. I waited and watched – the unfamiliar faces becoming clearer and sharper by the second, like a lens focussing on a camera. Like Edward's new TV had looked when high definition first came out. The ancients' faces became more strange and more alien to me by the second as the features defined themselves so much better; the milky colour of the eyes, the papery thin, deathly-white skin…and even the way they moved; now I could begin to make out the drifting, surreal kind of grace they all used that was just as eerie as it was beautiful…

The smallest nudge of something like fear, hidden away beneath layers and layers of worry and dread at what the answer to Edward would be, flickered inside me. I knew, deep down, that I really had absolutely no idea what we were headed for…_who _we were headed for…

I'd never seen or met any vampires like these before. Ever. Ever…ever...

"_No."_

I jumped.

"_No."_

What? What, what, what?  
I scrambled frantically to rearrange myself; the visions flooding my mind were tumbling crazily, the future wild with the new decision, the scene dissolving and re-building, dissolving and re-building, dissolving…re-building…focussing…_focussing_…

"_No."_

_Edward's face was unreadable. Not one muscle in his face moved as he gazed with steady, midnight eyes back at the immortal who'd spoken the word. Spoken the answer. His answer. _Their _answer…_

"_No. That is our answer, dear Edward – our final and only answer. I am sorry, but –"_

"_Why?"_

_The word my brother spoke was so sudden and unexpected I blinked in surprise; a _flash_ of _the seat in front of me on the aeroplane, generic blue with a tempting fashion magazine sticking out a fishnet pouch _flickering _in_ front of my eyes for the shortest of instants, before fading back to the vision at hand…_

_Aro smiled – there was something about that perfect, smooth, effortless sweet smile I didn't like – but Caius spoke before he could. _

"_A few simple enough reasons for you to understand, Cullen. Your coven has the potential to respond badly, something we wish to avoid at all costs, and your talent –"_

"_- is _uniquely _powerful in it's capability to hear from long-range distances, and of the utmost value to me – us," Aro finished smoothly for him, with another smile – but a slightly sympathetic one now. "And I'm afraid that therefore, dear Edward, we believe that you are far precious to destroy – to waste, so very, very much."_

_Edward didn't say a word – just gazed with those cold, unseeing eyes back into Aro's dark red ones. He sighed very quietly; then leant forward from his throne, his gaze tinged with something that might have been longing as he spoke his next words._

"_Edward," he began, carefully. "You must understand that what I ask of you now…"_

…more muffled voice…odd sentences flitting in and out of possible conversations…ugh, it was all so difficult to see properly when anything could change at any moment…!

"…_your reply to our request…?"_

"_Is the same as yours was to mine. No."_

_A brief silence…_

"…_and the same goes for the others."_

_Aro stiffened – again, he hid it well – but I didn't miss it._

"_The…others?" His tone attempted to feign confusion._

"_Rosalie, Emmett, Jasper, and Alice. My answer speaks for all of us. _All _of us."_

_The expression on Aro's face was guarded now; careful. More words blurred and changed as decisions dithered…_

"… _well…"_

"…_have enough Emmett's and Rosalie's, almost too many to be of use, in fact, but one like…ah, what was his name…Jasper…"_

- my fists clenched so tight I winced as my fingernails dug into my palms -

"…_and the little future-seeing one, Alice…both of them would be simply enthralling to…examine…most desirable additions…"_

"_Never," Edward repeated quietly, but with a note of sudden, frightening steel ridden through his tone. "Never, Aro, I assure you, none of them, Emmett and Rosalie included, would have the slightest interest whatsoever. Jasper and Alice are already bound unbreakably – both to each other, and the rest of the family. They would never. Never. _Never_."  
Aro's face was unreadable. _

"_Is that so?" he murmured, very softly. _

_Silence again. _

The vision blurred; shifting as a few undecided words spoke and unspoke themselves over and over…

"…_then there is nothing left for me to do."_

_That was Edward speaking; and now his face was set with new determination and resignation._

"…_nothing left for me to say. You will not grant my request willingly…you leave me with no choice."_

_Aro sighed deeply; his face wistful. "Consider again, dear Edward, please, before doing anything…drastic. I do not want to order your death, nor do I wish to destroy your wonderful, _wonderful_ talent. Such potential you have, if only you would consider…"_

"_I have nothing left to consider. And I have nothing left to say to you. Now, if you wouldn't mind…"_

"_I will send for Demetri to show you out," Aro finished for him, his voice quiet and filled with disappointment as he turned in his seat and nodded once to a guard member…_

…_couldn't quite make out who it was, the decision wasn't yet made, but perhaps…_

…_perhaps a small figure, clothed in pure midnight, standing pensively by the door. Shock hit me hard in the face as I focussed on the small, childlike face under the hood. This respected guard member was hardly more than a boy, just a young boy, a young…_

A young…

…young…

'Two very young ones'…

…called Jane, and…

…and _Alec_…

"_See Edward Cullen out to the lift, won't you, Alec. Demetri should be waiting…"_

_The boy nodded once, a quiet "Yes, Master," slipping out barely audible from his mouth in a high, bell-like voice._

_Edward turned so abruptly and moved so swiftly over to the waiting boy that his features blurred momentarily – but Aro called him back._

"_Edward?"_

_He didn't turn around. Just replied in a voice cold and determined as his pitch-black eyes. _

"_Yes?"_

"_Just remember…" the ancient called lightly, his tone careful, but his expression still sickeningly edged with that smile. "If no law is broken…there need be no punishment. Think over what I said. And think carefully about what I know you're about to go and try to do…we will wait and watch, Edward."_

"_Goodbye, Aro."_

_Edward's voice could no longer show emotion – but if it could, it might have chosen annoyance. _

"_Goodbye, Edward. I so look forward to meeting with the rest of your coven someday. Goodbye, young friend."_

_Just a slight rustling filled the air as the several gathered cloaked figures parted to let Edward pass through with Alec pacing lightly behind him towards the doors – and a last, soft sigh from Aro's direction, which reminded me carefully that, though the best I could ever have hoped for had just happened, we still had a long, long way to go. _

But at least now, it was all down to Edward.

* * *

_Enjoyed writing this one too. Aro is actually kinda fun to write – though horribly difficult to get in character, as I said before. Sigh._

_**Note:** Some of you have been **asking** who EandD are on my profile page - they are two characters from another story of mine that I'm curently writing :D that's all I can say for now. Sorry!_

_Comments, praises, criticisms, suggestions – I'm open to all! **JUST REVIEW!**_


	35. Chapter 18 THE FUNERAL PART 9

_Apology: I hate Stephanie's dialogue. Sorry, but I just gotta admit it. I hate it. And I also must admit to a crime…I added in four little words of my own in this chapter: at, well, moment, and the. Sorry everyone. Sorry._

_And there's a little continuity error in this chapter – so sorry again. This plot is, unfortunately, full of a lot of irritating loopholes Stephanie cleverly wrote around from Bella's POV…arrggghhhhh…_

* * *

"Bella!" I hissed in a loud whisper, shaking her shoulders with both hands. "Bella, wake up, come on, wake up -!"

She mumbled incoherently in response, vaguely pushing my hands away with her sweaty ones.

"Don'twant…'sleep…"

"_Bella!_" I hissed, shaking ever harder, and trying to ignore the disproving looks both the air hostess and several bleary-eyed passengers were shooting me at my loud voice. "Wake up, I've got news, and it's _good,_ it's all right -!"

"M'tired…"

"_Bella!_"

"What's wrong…?" she mumbled groggily, her arms trailing up to push away my hands again, her brown eyes hazy and sleep-filled as she tried to focus on me.

"It's not _wrong_," I said triumphantly. "It's _right. _They're deliberating at the moment, but they've decided to tell him no –"

"The Volturi…?"  
I rolled my eyes. "Of course, Bella, keep up! I can see what they're going to say…"

"Tell me…" she mumbled, shifting closer whilst rubbing her eyes vaguely free of sleep. I opened my mouth to launch into a retelling of all the millions of visions I'd had – but a voice interrupted me before I could answer.

"Can I get you ladies a pillow?" a young male voice whispered with exaggerated quietness much too close to my ear. I hesitated – then turned in my seat to flash the loveliest smile I could muster up at the stupid attendant.

"No, thank you," I replied sweetly, feeling terrible as I thought of Jasper's reaction to this – but it worked. The man gazed blank and open-mouthed at me for a few seconds, then nodded faintly and stumbled backwards back down the aisle, his expression dazed. I turned back to Bella; my face set now.

"Tell me," she repeated, less sleepily, leaning close to me. I reached up to whisper the explanation as quietly as I could into her ear.

"They're interested in him – they think his talent could be useful. They're going to offer him a place with them…"

Well, _were_ interested in him…because I'd already seen that happen…though it wasn't happening yet, wouldn't happen for another several minutes, but it _was_ the past I'd seen it in, though the future was what I'd actually seen…

_Ugh, my head was aching again…_

"What will he say?" Bella asked eagerly. I opened my mouth to tell her – then stopped.

Did I…_really_ need to burden her with all the worries I was starting to have about both Aro and Edward's colourful reactions to both their various wants or requests…?

No. I didn't. There were more important things that needed to be said now.

"I…can't see that yet," I said carefully, keeping the grin in place without too much difficulty. I was still just about giddy with relief from the knowledge I'd just gathered from that 'no', that wonderful, wonderful 'no'…

"This is the first good news," I told her, my grin widening as a tentative smile found its way onto Bella's face as well. "The first break. They're intrigued; they truly don't want to destroy him – 'wasteful', that's the word Aro will use – and that may be enough to force him to get creative. The longer he spends on his plans, the better for us..."

Bella was frowning. "Alice?"

"What?"

"I'm…confused," she said slowly. "How are you seeing this so clearly? And then other times, you see things far away – things that…don't happen…"

I froze.

_Oh Bella, Bella, Bella, why here, why _that, _why now, of all times…?_

I knew, of course, without a doubt, what she was thinking of – but I still struggled to keep my calm expression in place as her eyes looked steadily and determinedly into mine; waiting for an answer.

"It's clear…because it's immediate and close, and I'm really concentrating," I said, carefully. "The faraway things that come on their own – those are just glimpses, faint maybes. Plus, I see my own kind more easily than yours. Edward is even easier because I'm so attuned to him."

"You see me sometimes."

Bella's face was unreadable – but both of us knew, without needing words, what she was talking about. That she didn't mean the simple, everyday visions.

Just one very particular vision.

I shook my head slowly, sadly, from side to side; forcefully keeping my expression neutral.

"Not as clearly."

_Not anymore. _

Once…now what felt like a million lifetimes ago…I had seen her. I had seen _that. _That one particular vision. Seen it so clearly…

But that was all over now. Now that vision; that flickering, stuttering glimpse of Bella as the creature she'd always longed to be, was one that took hard concentration and a lot of patience to make out clearly.

But it was still there. Impossibly…utterly impossibly…but still possibly…it was still there.

_Why was that?_ I wondered, frowning as the thought came to me for the first time. Why was it that even now, I could make out that vision; that fleeting glimpse of Bella, red-eyed and beautiful, and every bit as immortal as I was…when _that_ future was no longer a possibility? It couldn't be, not anymore…

…could it…?

"I really wish you could have been right about me," Bella was murmuring, waking me from my thoughts. "In the beginning, when you first saw things about me, before we even met…"

"What do you mean?" I asked, as innocently as I could – watching her reaction. Bella sighed, glanced round quickly to check all the other passengers were safely sound asleep, then leant close again.

"_You saw me become one of you_," she whispered, so soft she could have been mouthing – and her tone strained, suddenly, with so much suppressed sadness and longing it caught me off guard. I studied her expression, frowning. The dead brown of her eyes had changed again with her words; the blankness subsiding even further, brightening with life, with hope, with longing…that painfully familiar longing I'd seen her wear so many times before back in visions of her and Edward as she pleaded with him, begged him for what she wanted, what she'd always wanted…what she _still _wanted…

This was crazy, I thought vaguely. Crazy. _Ridiculous_. All she'd everwanted was to become one of us, and Edward had done nothing but angrily slap away all her hopes and pleading whenever she'd brought up the subject – desperate for her to be persuaded to take his view on things, and on that subject in particular. Desperate for her to stay human; for her to lead a normal, peaceful life – so desperate that, eventually, it had driven him to do the unthinkable. To leave her. Leave Bella Swan to lead her normal, _happy_ human life…

And now look where that had got her.

She still wanted it. _Still,_ months after her life had been as good as ruined for her, months after Edward had deserted her…she still wanted it. Wanted…_this_…

_Bella. Standing, smiling, with her arm round me, her eyes bright and red; newborn eyes. Beautiful, and immortal. A vampire. _

The fragments of the scene, of that one brief sight, were difficult to conjure…but it was still there. Still a possibility. Even now…a possibility. But_ how…?_

Edward was long gone. We were _all _long gone. Out of reach, out of mind, out of sight…out of Bella's whole life. She had no way to get what she wanted now, no possible way, because the vampires she'd once known were gone; left, never to come back…come back…_come back…_

Oh.

But one…_had_ come back.

_I'd _come back.

But that was impossible. The visions couldn't mean…that flash of her still standing immortal couldn't really be because of…because of…because…

…_me_…?

No. Of course not. That was impossible; I'd never even considered it, never thought once about that fact that Edward wasn't the only one Bella could be changed by, wasn't the only option, the only vampire she knew…

_She wouldn't want to be changed by you,_ I told myself firmly – but my thoughts were racing. She would have wanted Edward to be the one…wouldn't she…?

But…

…but now that was no longer an option…

…if she _did _still want it…

No. _No_. Edward would…well…kill me. Simply kill me. _Literally_, kill me. Beyond ridiculous as the situation had got…

But…

But if I…_did _do it…

Bella would have what she wanted. She would be happy again. _Alive_ again, the old Bella I'd always loved so much, my best friend, my future sister…she'd be Bella again. I could teach her everything – I could help her hunt, I could explain the other rules to her, tell her the histories…everything.

I could feel the smile creeping up the edges of my lips as the thoughts came tumbling thick and fast. I could do it_…_

_I could really do it…_

And yes, Edward would kill me. Or at least try to, if Jasper let him get close enough to me. But…

…but…

"_You saw me become one of you."_

All this passed through my mind with rapid succession, whilst Bella waited patiently beside me, her eyes glazed over as though lost in her own wonderings. I came out of my daze slowly, an answer to her question finding its way to my lips reluctantly.

"It was a possibility…at the time…"

She frowned, sensing the uncertainty in my voice. "At the time?" she queried.

"Actually, Bella…" I hesitated, biting my lip – then took the plunge. I might as well see how she reacted to the idea. "Honestly, I think it's all gotten beyond ridiculous. I'm debating whether to just change you myself."

Silence.

I glanced at her. She was gazing open mouthed at me, her eyes wide and blank with shock; looking more like I'd punched her in the face rather than simply…tell her I was considering changing her into a vampire.

Hm.

Ok, maybe there wasn't much difference in the shock-factor of those two things after all…

I waited for her to say something – but she just continued to stare.

"Did I scare you?" I asked worriedly. _Bother. Maybe I'd seriously misjudged the situation. _"I thought that's what you wanted."

"It _is!_" Bella burst out, her tone exuberant, so suddenly I jumped as her whole face, dead chocolate eyes included, lit up like the sun coming out. "It _is_, oh Alice – do it now! I could help you so much! And I wouldn't slow you down! Bite me -!"

"_Shh!_" I hissed, waving my hands frantically to quieten her. _Honestly. _I glanced anxiously over my shoulder, hoping against hope no one had heard her outburst – but secretly, inside I was glowing. I'd been right. That one suggestion…that one tiny decision I'd put to her, and her whole face had practically transformed. I knew it…I _knew _it…

Both the blonde air hostess and the male attendant with the fluffy pillow were peering in our direction again. Trying to avoid their gazes, I leant across the seat to Bella's ear again, placing one hand on her arm to stop her jittering up and down.

"Try to be reasonable," I whispered. "We don't have enough time. We have to get into Volterra _tomorrow_. You'd be writhing in pain for days." I grimaced at the thought; that was going to be hard, watching her for all those hours, if what I'd heard from Carlisle and Jasper was anything to go by… "And I don't think the other passengers would react well."

_Or the Volturi, once they found out. And we really didn't need to give them any more reasons to kill us at the present moment._

Bella's happy grin slid off her face like water. She bit her lip dangerously hard; making me wince. "If you don't do it now, you'll change your mind," she mumbled, in a small voice, but I didn't fully hear the words, as her face was shimmering, changing, fading…

…_Edward being shown into the main chamber where the three ancients sat awaiting him…listening for the response to his request to be said out loud, though he must know from their minds what is was already…mustn't he…?_

"No…" I murmured in response to Bella's words, still half in the future. "I don't think I will."

I frowned then, the truth of my automatic words sinking in. I thought of Edward's reaction to that…and winced. "He'll be furious," I muttered, half to myself. "But…well…what will he be able to do about it?"

Bella's grin was back; triumphant now. "Nothing at all."

I laughed quietly at her expression – but another, much less welcoming thought had just struck me. The fact that during the actual _act_…well…not that I wasn't good at restraining my instincts most times…but to actually bite and change a human?

I bit my lip – hard. That was entirely another matter. I thought back – so very far, far back – to that dreaded birthday party, all those months ago…blood trickling down Bella's hand and dripping onto the carpet…

My mouth watered sickeningly at the mere thought.

I would have to think carefully about this…about whether I could really, truthfully do this for her…

"You have too much faith in me, Bella," I murmured, my tone worried now. "I'm not sure if I…_can._"

I gave her a sideways look, wondering how much warning I really needed to give her. "I'll probably just end up killing you," I said, apologetically.

Bella rolled her eyes, shaking her head in dismissal of the statement. "I'll take my chances."

Her tone was so certain and so downright _casual _I almost laughed again.

"You are so bizarre, even for a human," I muttered.

"Thanks."

She shot me a grin from across the seat – and I couldn't help grinning back, in spite of myself. I'd been right. This _was _ridiculous. Utterly ridiculous…

But it was what Bella wanted. Maybe even…what she needed. And _I_ could give it to her.

If we could just live through the next few days…

"Oh well," I sighed, leaning back in my seat. "This is purely hypothetical at this point, anyway…"

…"_No. That is our answer"…_

…_Edward's dead face hearing the reply Aro was giving him, a mere few minutes into the future…any second now it would begin; Edward's new decisions, decisions even now building up, reading to storm my brain the instant that "no" was given…_

"…first we have to live through tomorrow."

Bella grimaced just slightly at my words – but nodded. "Good point."

A misty haze of some change in Edward's progress wavered at the edge of my sight then, making me sigh quietly. I wanted to keep talking with her, but now…

…_now…_

"_No."_

_Any minute now…_

"_No…"_

"…Go back to sleep," I murmured to Bella. "I'll wake you when there's something new."

"Right," she mumbled, whilst I shifted to tuck my knees up on the seat so I could rest my head on them. Edward's future seemed to have been paused mid-moment; hanging on tenterhooks, fingertips scrabbling to keep hold of a cliff. A cliff where he'd already spent long minutes awaiting the answer he longed for…ready at any second to lose grip and fall down, down into a new future, the future where matters would have to be taken into his own hands, his own thoughts, his own decisions, once the ancients had given him their answer…

"_No," Aro's voice murmured in response to my brother's request, the word pounding faintly against my skull. "No. That is our answer, dear Edward – our final and only answer. I'm sorry."_

"_Our answer is no."_

* * *

_Once again, I'm so sorry for the long gaps between updates. Been horribly ill : ( and my writing just grounded to a halt for two weeks. Not fun. _

_Please review :D_


	36. Chapter 18 THE FUNERAL PART 10

_Extremely **infuriated** by this chapter. Any **constructive criticism **will be very much appreciated. _

* * *

Edward's future was in turmoil. Utter turmoil. Mayhem. Not one scene would make sense; his every decision would last no longer than a second –

- _leaping at Aro, attacking a guard member -  
_- before dissolving into something else –

_- walking out into the sunlight, in front of –_

- and something else –

_- throwing a b –_

- or something else –

_- biting the neck of a –_

- or something else…

…something else…

…something else…

After a few minutes of pure chaos, the dizzying blur of visions began to subside. Minutes into the future, the Volturi continued to explain the reasons for their answer to my brother; whilst he stood, still as a statue, and listened. His hectic thoughts on what cause of action to take next stopped; halted in their mad flow, as he took in what Aro was saying. Momentary distraction, I supposed.

It was only when he was led out of the main chamber by Alec and handed over to Demetri to be led back up and into the city…that it began again.

_Silence. What felt like minutes, even seconds into the future, the room where Aro, Marcus, and Caius still sat on their throne was silent. Aro looked lost in thought. Caius was sour-faced as he watched his brother. Marcus looked…blank. Bored, even; his eyes glazed over. He looked a million miles away and several millenniums from the scene playing out around him. I wondered, not for the first time, why that was…_

_Decisions blurred as Aro seemed to contemplate something…_

"_Afton."_

_That was Caius speaking. A tall man, eyes almost as black as Edward's, stepped out from a corner of the room where he'd been conversing with red-haired woman in a low whisper. _

"_Follow him. Take Santiago and Corin…"_

"…_Sigurd…"_

"…_fetch Aelfric from the tower…"_

"…_any others who wish to come. Spread out. Watch him. You know what to do if he tries anything. Go."_

"_Yes, Master."_

"_Brother?" Caius had turned to Aro who still sat, chin leaning on a papery hand so frail-looking it was a wonder it didn't crumple away at the weight, lost in thought. _

"_Brother? Aro, come now. It is over. We have better things to worry about…"_

"…_he will be dealt with…"_

"…_all over…"_

"…_over…"_

…But it _wasn't _over, I thought desperately, as I watched Edward scramble up and out of the hole with Demetri close behind him. Not yet, not quite yet…

_Demetri nodding stiffly once to Edward, then ducking back down the hole…Edward standing stock still, inches from the Volturi entrance, his expression unreadable…_

_A flicker of possibilities…_

_Edward strolling out into the square, seconds into the future, grabbing the first car in sight and lifting it above his –_

_- Edward grabbing the nearest pillar holding up the clock tower, pulling it and making –_

_- Edward, hours into the future, waiting for the sun to rise so he could reveal himself –_

_- the guard tearing at my brother's body, piling pieces in a heap–_

_Edward beginning to walk, down the alleyway, out into the darkened square, the sun was only just beginning to rise, turning the sky a dark grey…_

_Guard members, strangers to me, Afton among them, climbing up and out of another entrance, streaming off into the darkness…Afton ordering them to watch…watch and wait…_

_Edward lifting a car – _

_- Edward waiting till dawn for the sun –_

_- Edward hunting…_

…_hunting…_

…_human hunting…_

My stomach contracted with absolute horror as I felt Edward's decision waver over that final, terrible option…he wouldn't…he _wouldn't…_

_Edward was walking, walking, across the square, across the street, down the road, a zombie with eyes black pits of nothing_…

I shuddered very slightly in my seat; there was no decision, no chosen path, just flickers, flickers, flickers…

_Afton and a guard member with cropped golden hair slipping in and out of sight and shadows as they and their comrades began following Edward at a safe distance, some staying behind to keep watch over their home entrance, some only an alleyway or so away from my brother…_

_Edward stopping, pausing, watching as a group of five or so men, chattering and laughing drunkenly, swaggered towards him whilst possibilities flickered, thinking, considering…_

_Blood streaming in scarlet rivulets down a gasping drunk's body as my brother fed from a wound in full view of a hoard of pubgoers…_

My stomach flipped over. Several times.

I felt sick at the sight. I didn't want to see it, didn't want to focus, didn't want to even consider the possibility that my brother might resort to that…_that_…to end his life the quickest way possible…

_I realised I was rocking backwards and forward in agitation, my head still buried in my knees – and stopped quickly…_

…_another group, a safe distance behind the drunkards, three young girls…_

_Edward dithering…head flitting from group to group as the drunkards passed him, then turned down a side-street, but the three girls kept moving, all heading towards the main square, towards the row of little shops down the right hand side…_

_Edward choosing his prey; turning and beginning to pad very softly behind the girls, Volturi members watching from behind brown walls and statues…down the street… stopping at the little shop…_

_One girl reaching into the pocket of her expensive looking white coat, bringing out a set of keys, and as the sun began to heat the sky with just a few pinkish rays of dawn, they prepared to open their delicatessen for the day…_

Edward's decision was split-second – and the vision that came with it irrepressible.

_The girl in the white coat barely had time to hold the door open for her two friends – before my brother pounced._

_Blood splashing onto the stone pavement as two girl's screams mingled with their poor friends –_

_- Edward reaching swiftly towards the girl, his hands fastening on her shoulders and spinning her round to face him –_

_- Aelfric's eyes widening as he took in the scene –_

_- both of the girl's friends crying out words of surprise as they –_

_- Edward's hands pinning the girl against the wall, his face wild as he gazed at her –_

_- but he didn't bite –_

_- didn't bite –_

_- Italian words I couldn't catch –_

_- Afton and his fellow guard members crouched –_

_- didn't bite –_

_- fists clenched, ready to spring –_

_- didn't snarl, or even hiss, just stared at his prey –_

_- and though thirst burned deep in my brother's pitch black eyes –_

_- more Italian -_

_- didn't bite –_

_- didn't bite…_

…_didn't bite…_

_And then…_

…_and _then…

_- blood trickling from a wound –_

_- her two friends tugging at Edward's arms –_

_- more Italian –_

_- Edward's eyes gazing with desperate, longing thirst, into the girl's –_

_- Corin holding one hand up to her comrades –_

_- more confused, slightly angry words from the girl's two friends, and then…_

_And then…_

_And _then…

_Then my brother, as slowly and gently as if the creature he was holding was made of spun glass, let his arms fall to his sides…and let the shocked-faced girl fall freely back against the wall of her shop. _

_His face was agonized as he stepped back, allowing her friends, still garbling in Italian, to reach their friend._

_Edward spoke then; in quiet, fluent Italian I couldn't understand. Edward's voice trembled at the edges – but his face was determined now. Two of the three girls snapped out sharp, angry replies – one just gazed with fear clear in her eyes at my black-eyed brother. _

_I caught odd words – "madman", "mistaken," "someone else," and "sorry" among them…but the rest of the conversation remained a mystery. I'd learnt Italian briefly at as school a few decades back – but we hadn't stayed there long. Jasper had had a slip…_

_It was only when all three girls looked at each other, then to Edward…and nodded once at some question he had asked, that each members of the watching Volturi looked suddenly, almost automatically towards Corin and Afton, as though awaiting an order…_

…_and received a small, sharp shake of the head in return, as the three girls turned, walked into their shop, and slammed the door behind them._

"_No crime, no punishment," Corin murmured, very softly, as my brother closed his eyes, and sank to the ancient floor of the town square, burying his face in his hands. _

_And Afton nodded. _

Neither I nor Edward moved for a very long time. My hands wouldn't stop trembling.

I knew it was stupid, knew it was over, knew Edward now, most definitely would not attempt that fate again…but I couldn't make them stop. I could hear, half in the future, half out, the sound of shades being shut one by one on the brightening windows of the plane, smell the dark, hot scent of coffee being brewed for on-flight breakfasts, knew that our flight would be landing soon now, soon, so very soon…

When Edward finally did move from his crumpled position on the cool stone ground of Volterra, the future he had chosen played out as clear and bright as the day dawning all around me.

_Just a few, much too short hours into the future. A clock was chiming, the sound ringing round and round my head; once, twice, three times, four, five…_

_Edward standing motionless as a statue, just a few feet from the mouth of a dimly lit alleyway. His eyes were closed, the rings underneath them deep purple, his arms relaxed by his sides, palms turned forward. His expression was different now, more different than I could have imagined; peaceful, calm like the surface of the sea after a storm. Serene. Maybe even tinged with a little hope. Like he was dreaming pleasant things. Pleasant maybes. Possibilities of happiness; far, far away, just out of his reach. His chest was bare – there was a small pile of fabric at his feet…I felt a very small twinge of worry for the white material; it would get all dirty and ruined lying down there on the street, and it was a _nice _shirt…_

_The clock chimed – chimed from the tower, the clock tower, just to his right, in front of which crowds upon crowds of red-dressed people were standing, chatting, laughing, completely unaware of the vampire standing feet from them, just out of sight, out of reach, out of…_

…_out of the _sun…

_Seven, chimed the clock. Eight. Nine. Ten. Eleven._

_Twelve. _

_Edward smiled. The sun beat down blinding rays of light from above the tower, so close but still just out of reach. _

_Edward took a step. Then two. Then three…out into the beams of gold that caught the diamond of his skin within seconds, glinting, sparkling, glistening, gleaming…_

_And then…_

_But then…_

I blinked hard, struggling to make out what was next; the scene was suddenly blurred, fuzzing with static in front of my eyes, and as I watched…

_- Bella, running like her life depended on it, which it probably did, shoving her way through the crowds, throwing herself at Edward –_

_- Corin and Afton stepping smoothly out from the shadows of another alley, several others helping them to throw Corin's own cloak over Edward's sparkling bare skin, my brother pulled all too willingly back into the shadows in a movement so fast I barely caught it – _

_- fire burning and crackling as Edward's head was torn and ripped by Volturi teeth from his body…_

…_but…_

…_but…_

…_Bella slamming into Edward, gasping his name between pants, pushing him back into the shadows, the shadows he hadn't quite left…_

…_Edward ripped to shreds…_

…_driving fast as the car I drove would go with Bella by my side…_

…_would have to get a fast ca…_

…_Edward's skin sparkling brighter than the sun…_

…_certain I could find something good in one of the airport car parks…_

…_Bella with her arms round her love's neck…_

…_fire burning marble limbs…_

…_me appearing at the end of the alleyway Edward had just left, all of us together, alive and together, together…_

…_but…_

...but…

It was still possible, I realised slowly, my brain taking an age to comprehend the knowledge. Still possible that we could…that we _would…_

That if we could only get there fast enough…

_The clock chimed from the tower, the clock tower, just to his right…musical, booming notes; they reminded me vaguely of Emmett laughing…eleven…twelve…_

Twelve…

Midday. We had till midday.

_Too short, _every part of me screamed. _Not long enough. You'll be too late, and just get into trouble. Bella will be in so much danger. _You'll_…be in so much danger. _

_Jasper…_

But I pushed the thoughts away. I piled them into a box and shut the lid tight; tight as tight could be. Then I watched Edward stand and walk slowly, calmly over the cobbled stones of the plaza, towards the alleyway, where he once more slumped to the ground, and leant back against a sandy wall.

Waiting.

_Minutes passing…hours passing…Afton sighing, Corin murmuring grumpily to Seeta, other members drifting off to wait and watch alone at different points around the square…_

_The hours passing, passing…_

… _passing…yes…_

…yes_…_

Just a hint of a smile reached my lips, despite all I'd seen, despite what Edward had so very nearly done, as the vision solidified itself as a thoroughly made decision. Hope bubbled up like a fountain inside me.

We had a chance. We really, truly…for the moment at least…had a chance.

* * *

_Yes, the ending is cheesy. And YES, Edward does almost hunt a human in the book. Refer to page 438 of New Moon for more info. _

_On a completely random note; who has finished **The Second Short Life of Bree Tanner**? Got my copy this morning, spent the day reading it, and LOVED it! Anyone else feel the same?_

_**Reviews** are like muffins…or cake…or cookies…or lemon tart…or hazelnut ice cream…or almond and cherry pie…or any other kind of yummy food…look, how about you just **review :D **_


	37. Chapter 18 THE FUNERAL PART 11

_**Ok, so I had a seriously hard time with this chapter XP I'm sorry. It's rather disjointed, and a bit all over the place, but passable. My Mum really liked it :D so here we go...**_

* * *

Sunlight was filtering in through the small window to the left of Bella's seat; just a few teasing tendrils of caramel colour. I shifted uncomfortably as they crept closer and closer to my bare hand, resting on the arm of my seat.

I glanced furtively left and right to check the other passengers were still asleep – then reached over my friend's lap and swiped the shade shut on the window. The sun caught my hand for the briefest of instants; diamonds flashing and glinting into view – then vanishing as the rising sun was blocked by the shade.

Bella mumbled something in her sleep and turned over, her eyes flickering open and blinking curiously up at me.

"…what's happening…?" she mumbled, voice slurred with sleep.

I stayed very still, eyes on the seat in front of me, hands folded tight as they would go in my lap.

_What to tell her…?_

I thought for a moment, uncomfortably aware of Bella's hopeful gaze watching me intently. Then…

"They've told him no," I said quietly and firmly.

A brief silence.

"What's he going to do?" Bella asked, her voice full of familiar dread.

"It was chaotic at first," I murmured, eyes still on the back of the seat. "I was only getting flickers – he was changing plans so quickly."

_Too _quickly. My head was still spinning from the crazy rush of them.

I flickered a glance at Bella – she was looking wary, like she could sense I didn't want to go into detail about this.

"What kinds of plans?" she asked slowly.

"There was a bad hour," I whispered, my hands clenched so tight it was almost painful. "He'd…decided to go hunting."

Bella frowned slightly; uncomprehending.

"In the city," I explained, voice so quiet I was surprised she heard, lips moving the tiniest amount possible. "It got very close. He changed his mind at the last minute."

Shock flashed across Bella's pale face – but she hid it quickly, turning her face away so I couldn't read it.

"He didn't want to disappoint Carlisle," she mumbled. "Not at the end."

"Probably."

I hadn't thought of that. I wasn't angry with Edward, of course I wasn't. Just thoroughly shaken. Of all my family…Edward was the last person I would ever have expected to resort to…that. Rosalie, maybe – though I felt selfish thinking it, it was the truth – Emmett too…and Jasper…yes, if it had been Jasper…

Well.

Now, at least, I knew how wrong my preconceptions had been.

I knew why he'd done it, of course, knew why he'd almost made that terrible decision…I knew why…

But he hadn't. He _hadn't_. That was all that mattered, I told myself firmly, all that would ever matter, and there was no need for Carlisle or Jasper or anyone to ever know about it…

"Will there be enough time?" Bella was asking.

I bit my lip. I didn't want to lie to her.

"I'm hoping so," I said carefully, not meeting her gaze. "If he sticks to his latest decision…maybe."

"What is that?"

"He's going to keep it simple. He's just going to walk out into the sun."

Bella nodded slowly, understanding, then turned away from me once again. The plane juddered and dipped a little, making a little boy a few rows behind us shout out in fear and his mother instantly bombard him with shushes…down towards the city airport that lay beneath us

The sound of a shade being pulled away from the window made me glance round and over Bella's shoulder. The patch of sky beyond the glass was grey, tinged with pink…

"We'll be too late," Bella was whispering, her voice suddenly choked. I started to shake my head – but inside, even I was beginning to wonder.

"Right now, he's leaning towards the melodramatic," I told her, both of us still gazing out at the breaking dawn. "He wants the biggest audience possible, so he'll choose the main plaza, under the clock tower. The walls are high there. He'll wait till the sun is exactly overhead."

_But the decision could change at any minute…_

"So we have till noon?" Bella asked, turning to look at me with eyes full of suppressed fear. I forced my expression to remain calm – and not let the swarms of increasing doubt…and fear…show on my face.

"If…we're lucky."

I felt horrible saying it – horrible watching the terror build at my uncertain words in the brown of Bella's eyes, horrible making our chances seem so slim, horrible for making it seem like we had so little hope…

But it was the truth. Truth even I couldn't deny.

A smooth voice sang out over the intercom, announcing our imminent landing.

"Alice? How far is it from Florence to Volterra?"

A hint a smile reached my lips as I remembered the visions and the plan they had signified. At least that part of our journey was clear; clear as day, decided and ready to be played out.

"That depends on how fast you drive," I replied, watching her reaction.

She frowned, obviously confused.

I glanced furtively left and right – then turned back to my friend.

"Bella?"

"Yes?"

I eyed her speculatively, considering...Charlie _was _chief of the police force…

Well. It wasn't like she was likely to say no, considering our circumstances, was she?

Drastic times called for drastic measures.

Such as…

"How strongly opposed are you to grand theft auto?"

"Four hours. We have four hours to get to Volterra."

Bella bit her lip so hard I held my breath for fear she would finally, this time, draw blood as we burrowed our way through crowds of plane-goers towards the exit.

"That's not enough, is it?" she barely whispered, panting as she struggled to keep up with me. I was half-guiding, half-dragging her along by one hand, my bag clutched in the other as we shoved our way through the revolving doors and stumbled out into the grey, early morning, flecked with sunlight. A few speckles of cold, wet rain sprinkled onto my bare arms. Maybe we'd have a rainbow.

"It will be," I insisted determinedly in response to her question. "It can be and it _will _be, Bella, I promise, now if you just wait here –"

"Can't I come too?"

I rolled my eyes, grinning in spite of myself as I pushed my bag into her arms. "What would _Charlie_ have to say about you helping me steal a car?"

She glared. "Be quick, then."

"Don't move – I'll be right back."

A brief summary of the resident parking lot cars would have been: one blue mini. Two in red. Three green, ancient looking Volkswagen Rabbits. Numerous white vans and four orange minibuses. Two people carriers in dull faded grey. And a purple convertible with a half smashed windscreen that looked like it was ready to crumble into pieces with one touch.

I stood in the centre of the packed parking lot, arms folded, teeth gnawing at my lip, and frowning furiously as I frantically scanned the rows after rows of every car imaginable. I dithered over a land rover – huge and red, it reminded me of Emmett's, and I knew his was just about as fast as you could get – but it wasn't the same make, wasn't quite the same style, and I didn't want to risk it. I could go for one of the vans – they were probably decent – but I didn't want decent, I needed fast, something fast, high-speed, something state-of-the-art, something like…like…

…like _that…_

Bella was not impressed when I finally ground my brand new, freshly stolen Porsche 911 Turbo to a halt mere feet from her beside the sidewalk. The tires screeched against the pavement – making every human dithering on the sidewalk stare.

Bella was staring too – but with a thoroughly doubtful expression on her pale face.

"Hurry, Bella!" I shouted through the open window, leaning over to shove open the door. Glancing worriedly over her shoulder like a convict checking for policemen, she made a dash for the open door and half threw herself in.

I had the car moving and shooting towards the crowded exit within seconds.

"Sheesh, Alice," Bella muttered as she tossed our bags into the back seat and flopped back against the shiny leather. "Could you pick a _more _conspicuous car to steal?"

I shot her a glare, partly because that was completelybeside the point – but also partly because of the common sense ringing in every word which I had deliberately disregarded when breaking into the gorgeous vehicle. I had known it wasn't the most sensible one to have chosen…but I hadn't been able to resist. The car was _beyond _perfect…

"The important question," I corrected. "Is whether I could have stolen a faster car, and I don't think so. I got lucky."

_Very _lucky…

The discovery of the Porsche had been a dream; too good to be true. Smooth and sleek, with stylish dark-tinted windows and shiny new paint of bright sunshine yellow, plus the giant, cushioned seats swathed in waves of elegant black leather…not only was it drop-dead gorgeous to look at, it was also pure bliss to drive. The car turned at my lightest touch, accelerated to exactly the kind of speed we needed within seconds, and flew along so smoothly it seemed to practically _glide…_

But Bella just didn't understand it.

"I'm sure that will be very comforting at the roadblock," she was muttering sceptically in response to my words, still fumbling for her seatbelt. I laughed, swerving between two coaches and shooting under the exit barrier of the airport car park inches behind a van – trying to prove my point.

"Trust me, Bella. If anyone sets up a roadblock, it will be _behind _us."

I overtook the van, dodged round a loudly honking mini, and hit the gas to full speed ahead down the now empty lane that spread in front of us in a river of grey.

Bella had always been terrified of Edward's – and therefore, the rest of my family's – driving, I knew, but today, I had no time to worry about that. The clock on the dashboard read 8:09am. According to the GPS I was following closely, we would arrive in Volterra at around 2.45pm.

Somehow, I had to get us there for midday.

Italy really was a beautiful country.

Beyond the dark tinted windows of my beautiful Porsche, the countryside speeding past us was like the front of a Christmas card, only without the snow. Fields of sweeping green and gold spread like a patchwork quilt thrown over the country all around us, dotted with little grey houses and black and white specs of faraway cows. A few horses grazed at the edges of small country lanes we practically flew down, some of them venturing onto the road – but I could foresee these, and avoid them accordingly without having to break speed.

Birds soared up ahead. The sky was misty grey-blue, but brightening with every second, flecked with fluffs of cloud and occasional gaps where the sun would peep through, throwing its rays down to the ground and onto the front of my windscreen – making me wince.

9.27am, read the clock…

The first little twist of fear coiled into a knot round the already frantic anxiety in my stomach somewhere around the time the clock reached 10:15. I shoved it away, determined not to let Bella see, keep her calm, reassured…tried to focus on the road and the scenery whizzing by the windows…

"_They have been gone for hours."_

"_They have indeed," Aro was agreeing in a murmur – but I could tell he wasn't really listening. His expression was glazed, far away, almost like Marcus's – who didn't seem to be present in this particular scene, not that he would have added anything whatsoever…_

_Caius was frowning as he shifted a pile of papers from one large oak bookshelf to another. "Demetri insists they are still close by, merely scattered amongst the alleyways surrounding the plaza – _what_, then, is taking them so long?"_

"…_is not like Afton…"_

"…_had he already made his decision…?"_

"…_perhaps we should send someone out after them…"_

"…_find out what is happening…" _

"…_shall tell Demetri to follow…"_

"…_and take Felix with him…"_

_Demetri, the beautiful dark-haired one, and Felix, a huge, hulking guard member who reminded me strongly of Emmett, only with red eyes and thoroughly disgruntled expression, scrambling up out of the hole…a buzz of voices, like bees, angry bees, sounding from the centre of the plaza, and there were people in cloaks, red cloaks…a little girl with a red balloon, a woman with a red rose-patterned scarf rippling in the wind…red flags waving…_

_Odd…maybe it was some kind of celebration, some kind of festival…_

"Do you see anything more?" Bella asked anxiously as I came out of my daze, her heartbeat pounding like a steam engine from beside me. I shook my head distractedly, still half in the future – the anxiety momentarily stalled as I edged round a loudly honking BMW and concentrated on my question.

"There's something going on, some kind of festival – the streets are full of people and red flags…what's the date today…?"  
"The…nineteenth maybe?"

Ah. That would explain it. Saint Marcus Day; celebration of the vampire vanquishing over a thousand years ago from the town, supposedly led by Marcus of the Volturi himself.

_What day to choose, Edward._

"Well, that's ironic," I muttered darkly, directing the words at Bella without taking my eyes off the speeding road in front of us. "It's Saint Marcus Day."

"Which means…?"

I laughed briefly – but the sound was strained with suppressed emotions I didn't want to think of. _Mustn't _think of. Sunlight trickled through Bella's window and danced over towards me, missing my hand by inches. I swiped it away quickly.

"The city holds a celebration every year," I explained to distract myself, repeating the words Carlisle had explained to me just a few years back, when I'd questioned about the date as well. "As the legend goes, a Christian missionary, a Father Marcus – Marcus of the Volturi, in fact – drove all the vampires from Volterra fifteen hundred years ago. The story claims he was martyred in Romania still trying to drive away the vampire scourge. Of course that's nonsense – he's never left the city. But that's where some of the superstitions about things like crosses and garlic come from. _Father _Marcus used them so successfully. And vampires don't trouble Volterra, so they must work. It's become more of a celebration of the city, and recognition for the police force – after all, Volterra is an amazingly safe city. The police get all the credit..."

Bella's voice shook just a little at the edges as she spoke. "They're…not going to be very happy if Edward messes things up for them on St. Marcus Day, are they?"

My hands clenched tight on the steering wheel as I fought the coil of fresh, twisting anxiety quickly slipping into fear inside me at the truth of the words. I shook my head sharply once.

"No. They'll act very quickly."

Bella was silent then; her teeth beginning once again to attack her bottom lip, this time with frantic desperation – but her expression was such I didn't dare tell her to stop. Guilt washed over me again as I watched her. She didn't deserve to go through this…

I tried to prise one hand from the smooth leather steering wheel to put an arm round her, but the car swerved alarmingly all of a sudden…and I knew that letting go of the wheel whilst we drove at this speed would do nothing to help her in the slightest, no matter how much I wanted to.

The sun was terrifyingly high in the pale blue sky above us.

"He's still planning on noon?" Bella asked in a voice like a rubber band being stretched to the limit; struggling not to snap. She was trying so hard to stay calm…

"Yes," I replied in response to her, weaving between a gaggle of badly parked cars and beeping angrily as a camper van swerved in front of me. "He's decided to wait. And they're waiting for him."

"Tell me what I have to do."

I let my eyes flicker shut for just a second, just to make sure, just to check…

_Bella running, running like a maniac, pounding over cobbled streets, into Edward's arms…and the path was clear, the streets I would take showed up on the GPS, I could drive close to the square, so Bella could see the tower, then all that had to happen was…_

"You don't have to do anything," I tried to reassure her, but my voice strained too high with anxiety for reassurance. "He just has to see you before he moves into the light. And he has to see you before he sees me."

_That was crucial, utterly crucial, or he'd rush into it, step out the instant he heard my thoughts, and the whole plan would be ruined faster than blinking…_

"How's that going to work then?"

I directed the car past a blur of a lorry and winced as two speed camera signs glowed neon yellow up ahead

"I'm going to get you as close as possible, and then you're going to run in the direction I point you."

_Which was going to be fraught with peril enough as it was, for someone like Bella…_

"Try not to trip," I added, flickering a pleading glance in her direction. "We don't have time for concussion today."  
She groaned, and nodded, wrapping her arms tight round her stomach like I'd seen her do back in Forks. My own stomach felt like it had the entire world's population of butterflies trapped inside – diving and twisting, tangling together…

The needle on the speedometer was just edging towards the far right-hand side with alarming speed …when we suddenly rounded a corner – and saw what lay ahead.

The city rose in towering turrets of sandy stone up on the hill before us, huge and stunningly, breathtakingly impressive. I was reminded, oddly, of a sandcastle – all that light brown stone, shaped into houses and windows and roofs, towering up and looming down on us from a hill carpeted in green grass and scattered with a few shops and tourist stands.

I thought of that for a moment, leaping at another chance of distraction from the writhing anxiety – thought of the one sandcastle I'd ever made, a huge one I'd built on a beach decades ago, back when it was just me and Jasper travelling alone. We'd come across the sandy spot completely by accident – and I'd decided to make the most of it, despite how childish I knew it was, whilst Jasper watched and occasionally gave me an opinion on the design of the shell-patterns or shaping of the turrets…Jasper…

_Oh Jazz, I wish you were here with me. I wish you could drive for me so I could comfort Bella, keep her calm, hold her hand, reassure her, and you could keep _me _calm – I'm trying so hard to stay calm, trying so hard, but I'm scared, Jazz, I'm so scared, I'm trying not to show it, but Jazz…oh Jazz…_

_Edward glancing down at his watch; the clock read 11.30am…_

I pressed hard down on the pedal.

"Volterra," I murmured, by way of an explanation both Bella and I knew wasn't needed – and began to climb the hill to the city above.


	38. Chapter 19 VOLTERRA PART 1

The sun seemed to glow five shades brighter with every minute as my wonderful Porsche shot up the hillside road to the city; the light was no longer beautiful, no longer the pretty caramel streaks it had been on the plane; it was sharp and blinding, harsh and cruelly victorious as it poured itself over the car we both sped along in. The sun was winning, so very easily. Effortlessly. Naturally following the course it always did, to the top of the sky, the peak of the day…

My elbow, leaning on the edge of my window, began to glitter. I jerked it away, cringing back into my seat to avoid the light.

Two cars beeped simultaneously as I narrowly missed crashing into both of them.

"Alice," Bella mumbled, and I wasn't even sure whether she was chiding me for almost crashing the car, or begging me to go faster as the clock on the dashboard clicked another minute further to midday.

_Sixteen minutes, twenty-five seconds till he would step out…_

My hands clenched like claws round the handle of the steering wheel, so tight it was almost painful. My insides were writhing.

_Fifteen minutes, three seconds till it would all be over…_

"Alice…" Bella was groaning, from somewhere beside me as the traffic grew more and more congested, and we slowed to a crawl. "_Alice_…"

"It's the only way in," I tried to soothe her in a voice almost as strained as hers. _Maybe we should just drop the car, get out, and run_…I could carry her, and if we were careful, and didn't go too supernaturally quickly…

"Alice…"

_I'm trying, Bella, _I moaned inwardly, honking loudly as I tried to edge round a large white van. _I'm trying…_

Should we drop the car and run? But wouldn't it be faster, really, to stay driving, no matter how slow…?

_Oh Jasper, I don't know what to do, and we're running out of time, but I don't know, I don't know…_

_Caius pacing backwards and forwards across the large room with the thrones again…Aro was back there too, sitting a few feet away, chin still resting on papery hands…_

_Caius hissing softly under his breath, the sound almost inaudible; a whisper of a caress along the deadly sharp blade of a knife…_

"_What's taking them so _long _-?_"

"_Perhaps dear Edward has changed his mind after all," mused Aro, a trace of sudden hope in his voice, as he glanced up to meet his accomplice's angry gaze. "Maybe we have acted too quickly, brother, perhaps we should reconsider…"_

"_Reconsider?" Caius's tone was incredulous. "But Aro…!"_

"_We should send someone to bring him back in…"_

"_Bring him back in? But…!"_

"…_ridiculous…"_

"…_cannot believe you could be so…"_

"…_you truly believe that…?"_

"…_send someone capable this time, then, brother, we've wasted enough time as it is!"_

"_Where is Jane?"_

"_Chelsea, find Jane, and send her in…"_

"_Have a little job for her…"_

"…_hurry, please…"_

_The one called Chelsea nodding once, turning to drift from the room, her misty curls floating behind her like golden candyfloss…_

_Jane, Aro had said…_

…_Jane…_

_Two very young ones, Alec and…_

"_Jane," Caius sighed in relief, and I watched with wary but undeniable curiosity as the tiny figure of another guard member, dressed in pure black with a silky cloak trailing from her petite shoulders, entered the room. "At last…"_

_The little person, Jane, tripped forward with dainty steps that tapped against the stone floor and echoed round the room. I did a double take at her face; despite the blurred edges of this new vision, this new person, even I could make out the soft, sweet, angelic features of a girl who couldn't be anything more than a child…her hair was pale brown, hanging neat and simple around the cherub-like face, her expression apathetic, and her eyes that same dark, glinting red as her twin brother's…_

_There was something…horribly wrong about the sight of those terrible eyes in a face so young, so sweet, so innocent looking…all wrong. Wrong. And yet, still…_

_How, then, could the little girl still look so very lovely, so endearing, so…childlike…?_

"_Master," she murmured, voice sweet and bell-like as Alec's, but with a very slight reedy edge I didn't like one bit – and her eyes were on Aro as she spoke the word, not Caius. He smiled _down_ at her._

"_Jane…"_

"…_after Demetri, Felix…"_

"…_you saw what happened before…"_

"… _tell them our minds have changed…"_

"…_speak with him again…" _

"…_want him back alive…"_

"_Yes, Master…_

"_Make that quite clear to them, my dear…"_

"_I want this kept well under control…"_

"_Yes, Master…"_

"_Make sure nothing goes wrong…"_

"_Yes, Master."_

"_And make sure he's alive."_

"_Yes, Master."_

_He nodded then, a nod half of satisfaction, half of dismissal. _

"_I shall expect you back sooner rather than later, Jane dear. We have waited long enough."_

"_Yes…Master." _

_The strange pair shared a smile for one more brief moment – then Jane was gone, a blur of gold hair and slick midnight fabric past my sight, out of the room…_

…_up and out of the hole…_

…_into the city, slip quietly into the maze of alleyways and backstreets where her fellow guard still lurked…_

_Swarms of red-dressed festival goers everywhere…_

…_walking everywhere…_

…_walking, but no cars…_

…_no cars, and there was a signpost up ahead, a minute or so in Bella and my future…Italian words, 'for the safety and enjoyment of festival attendees'…'no cars shall be allowed to enter or park in the city from this point on'…_

"Alice," _I heard Bella's voice saying urgently, from a very long way away, marred by the loud honking of another horn…_

"Alice…"

"I know," I murmured, my eyes focussing on the road crawling along in front of us very slowly, as though lifting the weight of the whole world away from them. "I know…"

The car parks we were just passing were crammed to bursting with vehicles, as were the edges of the road and pavement spaces. People were getting out and walking the rest of the way into the city…

_Eleven minutes to go before Edward would move from his position safe in the shadow of that alley…_

But if we couldn't even drive into the _city…_

_Oh no, no, no, no, no…_

I frantically dove into the future; but the visions dithered and turned in on themselves before my eyes, refusing to give a straight answer…_maybe if I drove fast enough, I could edge round the guards that I could now make out guarding the entrance…_

…_but no, Edward's body was being ripped by teeth and hands of the guard before my eyes, we wouldn't be in time, wouldn't be in time…_

If I begged the guard…

…"_please, sir, please, try to understand"…_

…_but that wouldn't work, and Edward was burning, his limbs consumed by flames, dead and gone, going, gone…_

…if I offered him money, then, I thought wildly, the panic rising with every second as the Porsche edged closer and closer – I had money in my bag, a lot of money, maybe enough money…

…_Bella leaping at Edward, shoving him back into the shadows before the sun could conquer his skin…Edward burning, we were too late, the guard wouldn't accept and we were too late…but it wasn't clear…wasn't decided…decided…_

"Bella," I hissed under my breath, winding round another few badly parked cars. "I can't see what the guard here will decide now – if this doesn't work, you're going to have to go in alone. You're going to have to keep asking for," – I glanced at the GPS, at the name, at the place – "Palazzo dei Priori, and running in the direction they tell you. Don't get lost."

"Palazzo dei Priori, Palazzo dei Priori, Palazzo dei Priori," she chanted under her breath, which was growing more uneven by the second – already hyperventilating.

"Or 'the clock tower,' if they speak English. I'll go around and try to find a secluded spot somewhere behind the city where I can go over a wall."

I saw her nod almost frantically out of the corner of my eye. "Palazzo dei Priori."

"Edward will be under the clock tower, to the north of the square – there's a narrow alleyway on the right, and he'll be in the shadow there. You have to get his attention before he can move into the sun."

More nodding.

_Ten minutes and fifty-one seconds to go…_

The car in front of us finished arguing with the guard in a blue uniform who's job it seemed to be to direct the people away from the city gates. It revved its engine, did a giant U-turn, and headed back past us to look for somewhere to park. The way was clear.

I accelerated instantly, weaving round the guard and shooting forward towards the wonderful wide open gates amid angry shouts of Italian words I couldn't catch…

_Eight minutes and two seconds to go before Edward would step out…_

But then another blue-uniformed man stepped into the road, straight in front of my Porsche – the man from the vision, the one I'd already seen, the one who I needed to somehow bargain with…

Carefully, I angled the car to a stop so that the fingers of sunlight crawled over Bella's window, but were unable to reach mine. Stamping down on the brake, I reached behind into my bag, and yanked out my purse.

_But if he felt my skin, my freezing cold skin, or if the sun were to catch it by accident…_

I delved deeper into my bag and pulled out my favourite pair of tan gloves, slipping them on just as a loud and angry rapping sounded on the window.

I wound open the window, took a deep breath – then plastered a painful smile over my lips, and turned to face the young gate guard. He was wearing a uniform jacket several sizes too big for him – and a glare.

Predictably, his mouth fell open instantly in amazement as he focussed on my face.

"I…I'm sorry…" he stammered in heavily accented English, the anger vanishing as quickly as it had come. "Only tour buses allowed in the city today, miss."

"It's a private tour," I said as sweetly as I could, flashing another agonizing smile – then, quickly as I could, I pulled all the money I could find from my purse, reached out of the window to press the roll of notes into his hand, which was still raised from tapping on the window, and folded his fingers around it. His expression was dazed as he looked down to examine what I'd given him.

Even I couldn't suppress a small pang of regret as the crisp outside note – a thousand dollar bill – fluttered in the sunlight.

The man gawped – first at the money, then at me.

"Is this a joke?" he managed to mumble weakly, eyes wide and wondering as they flicked once up and down what he could see of me. I stretched my smile an impossible touch further, and clung to all the thoughts of Jasper I could muster as I replied.

"Only if you think it's funny."

He grinned a little then, too – but still didn't move from his position against my car. I clenched my teeth.

"I'm in a bit of a hurry," I hinted, turning back to the steering wheel and fighting the urge to yell in panic as I focussed on the clock.

_Five minutes to go…_

The guard blinked twice – but then, finally, moved. Shoving the roll of money into his vest, he stepped back from my Porsche and waved his hand a couple of times to the side, gesturing for us to enter the city.

I stamped hard on the pedal, and the car shot through the open gates even before he'd finished waving.

* * *

**Please don't ask me how the guard knew Alice spoke English before he'd even spoken to her XD it's a Stephanie Meyer error, not mine! **

**Seeing as so many peeps have been complaining that I don't offer character-rewards these days in return for reviews, I think I'll try bringing them back for this chapter...**

**REVIEW AND YOU'LL RECEIVE A PERSONAL EDWARD CULLEN OF YOUR OWN, COMPLETE WITH TOUSLED BRONZE HAIR, MELTING AMBER EYES AND HONEY SMOOTH VOICE! YES, REALLY THIS TIME!**


	39. Chapter 19 VOLTERRA PART 2

**Short chapter, sorry guys. Hope it's all right, my Mum and I kinda edited it to death XP **

**By the way, what did everyone think of the Eclipse movie (aaahhh!)?**

* * *

We were in. Finally, we were in. And we had…

…_four minutes to go._

The fluttering butterflies in my stomach were feeling less and less like butterflies and more and more like wasps with every second. Still, I was trying to suppress it; Bella was panicking enough as it was and above all, I needed to stay calm and keep a clear head, even if she didn't.

Now, sitting there next to me, she was hardly recognizable. Her face was so white she could have passed for immortal any day, if it weren't for the fact she was sweating profusely as well, and her hair had turned to a greasy haystack from the number of times she'd run her hands through it. Her hands were trembling, her breathing uneven, and her heartbeat was stuttering in worrying starts and stops.

Bella looked how I felt. Sick with fear. Numb with dread. Frightened…so frightened…of what was going to happen, of what _might _happen.

The red-dressed festival goers swarmed all around us as we drove; a never ending stream of bloodycolour. Ribbons coiled and undulated in the wind, from where they'd been tied onto lampposts and on windowsills. Flags hung from every ledge possible. Banners and posters glared from shops and houses, all emblazoned with the same, startling blast of colour…

My hands shook around the steering wheel.

_Three minutes, fifty-three seconds to go…_

"Alice," Bella was moaning, her voice muffled a little by the loud music and laughter and voices that also sounded all around us as we edged along through the crowds. "_Alice_…"

"Just a little farther…" I barely whispered, then swearing worse than Emmett under my breath as a group of teenagers narrowly avoided being run down by my desperate spurts of driving. I tooted and pushed and jerked along through the crowds, the panic rising up inside me like a snake as we ground to a halt behind a little old lady…

_Three minutes, forty seconds…_

Visions blurred – _"go, Bella, go!" and a chorus of screaming and shocked yells as humans' gazes, one by one, focussed on my glinting, glittering brother's skin – _a group of tourists trampled right across our path, and a hiss slipped from between my teeth, the sound choked, broken, because I wasn't angry at them, wasn't angry at the humans swarming around me and shaking their fists at the pushy Porsche – I was angry at myself, at my stupid spurts of driving, at my terrible planning, my useless visions, so many _visions…_

_Bella scrambling out of the car…"you have two minutes, go!"…_

_But she wouldn't reach – _

_- Edward screaming – _

_- she could reach – _

_- Edward kissing my best friend over and over, in the safe shadows of the alley –_

_- she might –_

_- she might…_

I swerved round a corner and into a pedestrian walkway, sending a dustbin or two flying and a cat skittering away into the welcoming shadows – I was defying the GPS for the first time, but that didn't matter, because the map showed clearly that if we just went a little way down here, and then round here, and then over _here…_

_Two minutes and forty-seven seconds…_

Several people cried out in shock and anger as we burst out from the alley into a new street, this one wider and more packed than ever, impossible to drive through, _but _possible_ to walk through, run through, Bella running through, running, running…_

I stamped on the brake, causing the car to screech to a halt – and heard Bella shove her door open even before the car had stopped – but the sun was brilliantly sharp above us, the rays beating down victoriously over the street, and wherever the sun went, _I _could never go…

Bella's face, wild with impatience turned from her open door to meet mine. I gestured frantically over the heads of the crowd gathered in a swarm of scarlet before us –

"There – we're at the southern end of the square! Run straight across to the right of the clock tower, I'll find a way around –"

I cut off abruptly, freezing in my seat as a flicker of rippling dark fabric, followed by another, and then another, slipped in and out of sight down the nearest side-street; black, figures in black, in cloaks of black…_Volturi guard_…

"They're _everywhere,_" I hissed under my breath, half to myself, and Bella froze in place, her eyes widening in fright like a rabbit caught in headlights – but I shoved her out of the car before she could argue, then reached for my own door handle and scrambled out to melt into the shadows of the alleyway, into the welcoming safety from the sun –

"Forget about them!" I hissed over my shoulder, gesturing frantically across the square to where I knew, in the dark of a narrow alley, my brother stood. "You have two minutes! Go, Bella, go!"

Bella didn't hesitate once. Didn't pause to nod, or even say goodbye.

She turned and threw herself into the swarm of St. Marcus Day celebrators, her pale fists pounding and shoving against bodies to make way for her to burrow through, and within seconds…she had vanished.

Carefully, casually, and as slowly as I could bare, I pressed myself up against a stone wall and slipped back into the darkness of the alley, wincing as my skin glowed faintly luminescent over a patch of half-blocked light, before welcoming shadows wrapped around me again.

Then I began to run.

_The path was laid out before me –_ _I could see all the possible routes I would or could take that would eventually connect me with the alleyway my brother stood in, see the dead ends, the outcomes of the decisions, see the best way, the quickest way _as Iran, ran, ran; _and Edward's eyes closed, hands slowly, methodically undoing each of the buttons of his shirt, and letting it drop to the ground at his feet…_

With me, before me, but also behind me in some cases, Bella was running too –_ her face flushed, her lungs gasping for breath that wouldn't come, her feet tangling together, she pounded flat out across the square, doing everything that was needed to burrow through the crowds, _just as I was burrowing through and_ in_ and _around alleys and backstreets and through derelict buildings and over toppled dustbins and round corners and into more streets…_

We ran together; Bella in the future, me in the present. But even as we ran…

_Dong!_

I skittered to a halt, almost falling over, my body freezing to a standstill at the sound, horror filling me as the booming, clanging sound filled my ears…the tolling of a bell…

_Oh no, no, no, no, no…_

And I was running again, running flat out, just like Bella, but it was no use, no use, and the bell was chiming…

"_Edward!" Bella was screaming…_

_Edward!_ I screamed through my thoughts, knowing it wasstupid, knowing it was useless, but needing, hoping, wishing, if only he could hear me…

_Dong!_

…but the bell was clanging, every one of them louder than the last as they sounded over and over…

"_Edward!" _

… and Bella's screams mingled with the chimes, but I knew it was no use, Jasper, it's _no use_…

_Oh Bella, I'm sorry, Jasper I'm sorry, Edward, all of you, I can't do it, I'm sorry, I'm sorry…_

_Dong!_

And we were too late…

_Edward!_

Too late…

_Dong…!_

_Too late…_


	40. Chapter 19 VOLTERRA PART 3

**K, so this chapter was originally much longer, but I've cut it here cos the pacing just wasn't working. Constructive criticism welcome, as always.**

* * *

The final chime of the clock echoed around and around my head, a million times over, like one of those huge Chinese gongs that seem to resound in your ears for minutes after it's been hit, vibrating throughout your entire body till you can hardly stand it…

_Too late. You're too late…_

_I'm too late, Jazz…_

And for a single moment…I was sure it was true.

But then…

…then…

…_then_…

…and the outcome was one of the quickest, one of the sharpest, one of those split-second-before-it-happened ones that depend on every last moment, every last pounding run, every last scream of my brother's name…

_And Bella threw herself, gasping and screaming, into Edward's arms, shoving him desperately back into the shadows, and Edward was standing, stumbling and staggering back with Bella yanking him into safety, his eyes opening, his whole face melting from the ever familiar, ravaged mask into disbelief, then realisation, then…_

…_then pure, utter bliss…_

"_Edward," Bella was gasping…_

…and…

_Edward," she gasped again…_

…and…

"_You've got to get back, Edward…Edward…"_

_Edward…_

And slowly…slowly…

…slowly, my madly pounding footsteps began to slow, tapped to a sprint, then a jog, then a walk, and then…

My feet didn't want to obey my brain as I cautiously, warily, unable to believe it, slowed to a tentative crawl – still trembling, with eyes still half caught in the future, my vision blurred and making me sway like a drunkard from side to side…

Then I stopped altogether.

The alleyway instantly spun around me – I threw out a shaky hand to brace my body against the nearest wall, cursing as the alley dipped and dived like a rollercoaster going at full speed…

"_Edward, you've got to get back in the shadows…"_

"… _you've got to move…"_

_But he _was_ moving, he _had _moved…_

"_Edward…"_

_And he was still tripping backwards, Bella tight in his arms, his back coming up against a wall just like mine was, the texture smooth and wonderful to feel against my back as the scraps of the scene finally dislodged themselves and faded_…

And _ugh,_ my head _ached, _but…

…but we'd done it…

…we'd done it…

…_we'd done it…_

_We'd really done it…_

And Edward was smiling. Smiling like the old Edward, the happy Edward, the Edward he'd been before this whole mess had started, this horrible, twisted mess that had begun with that terrible birthday party…he was smiling…smiling…

_Oh Edward, Edward, Edward…_

I slid to the floor of the alley, and sank my head in my arms. My temples ached like nothing on earth; I drew my knees up to my chest, folding my arms around them, and buried my face in my hands.

I couldn't believe it. Couldn't believe it was over, all over, that we'd really, somehow, impossibly _been in time_…

_Oh Jasper, I did it, we did it, we're ok, we're all right, we're safe, and I'm coming home, home to you, we're coming home, and Edward's safe…_

_Edward_…

_My brother leant forward, very slowly, and trailed his lips through Bella's hair, completely ignoring her gasped out words; he was so oblivious to it all, it was almost funny…_

"_Amazing," my brother murmured. "Carlisle was right…"_

And I almost laughed. Edward thought he was _already_ dead, truly in the heaven he had never believed awaited him at the end of his immortal life – a heaven none of us had ever really thought was waiting for any of us, Jasper and I included…but at that moment, I was ready to believe anything. It felt like the heaviest weight on earth had been lifted from my shoulders, relief pouring over me; I could have sat there, in that warm little alleyway forever…forever…almost…but…

…but not quite, because….

Because…

…we weren't quite…

…out of the woods yet…

"_Death, that hath sucked the honey of thy breath, hath had no power yet upon thy beauty," my brother quoted Romeo quietly, several alleyways away – and his voice was velvety soft, warm with love…_

And the thought came to me slowly, so slowly, my brain muddy bliss that didn't want to be interrupted as my head rested against the cool stone of the wall, but it wasn't over yet, wasn't over, and I should have realised, I should have known…

"_Come on," Felix was muttering. "Jane said bring him back alive, let's get to it and go fetch them both back in…"_

…and I shouldn't have stopped to rest, stopped to think, oh Alice, you idiot, you _idiot_…!

"_You smell just exactly the same as always…"_

And then I was off the floor, my limbs like jelly and the future still plastering itself over my gaze, but I was running again, running and running because they would come, they _would, _and I had to be there to support Bella, Edward too, had to speak up for them, stand with them, and though Afton's lot were still thoroughly confused by the events that had transpired, Felix and Demetri…

"_I agree," Demetri was murmuring in reply to Felix's suggestion. "Yes, let's get to it, come on –"_

_And_ _round the corner I ran, second turn on the left –_

_- avoid that sunlight stream and through the deserted beer garden –_

_- over the rubbish heap, round the alley end, past Jane, into the –_

_- into the –_

_- past –_

_- past Jane, and…_

… _Jane…_

…_Jane…_

…_JANE –?_

– _CRACK!_

I slammed back into the present with a violent jolt as my body smacked suddenly into a wall, making it tremble and bits of rock crumple off it. Cursing quietly – _stupid visions!_ – I stumbled backwards, whipping round to frantically scan my surroundings; the premonitions were plastered over my eyes, a blindfold I couldn't remove, no matter where I looked, that sight of Jane…

…of Jane…

…of_…_

Oh…_no…_

And it was only then that I realised what I was seeing now was no longer anything to do with the future…but the present.

The little black-cloaked girl stood silent and still as though she were carved from stone across the alley from me. Her face was in shadow, safe inside the silky folds of her cloak, but her eyes…red and glinting in the half-light…were visible, watching me with unwavering intentness from under the midnight hood.

For a few seconds…I couldn't move. Frozen with horror, I stared blankly, uncomprehendingly at the tiny figure, my hands still half-raised to push myself away from the wall I'd collided with, unable to move…

Jane watched me unblinkingly, her head tilting just a touch to the side. Like a little coiled snake sizing up its prey before striking…

"_Greetings, gentlemen," Edward's voice cut suddenly into my sight. "I don't think I'll be requiring your services today…"_

Oh no, no_, no, _they'd already found him, Demetri and Felix…

"…_very much, however, if you would send my thanks to your masters…"_

"You, there."

_Oh help, help, help, she was calling to me, Jasper what do I do, what do I do…?_

"…_shall we take this conversation in a more appropriate venue…?" _

"You, there, can you hear me?"

…_need to get to Edward_…

"Answer me, who are you, what are you doing…?"

…_Alice, you need to get to Edward…_

"…you there…!"

_Get away from her, Alice, run…_

"…where do you think you're going…?"

_Run…_

"…stop…!"

And there were footsteps behind me as I made a dash for an escape through a hole in a nearby fence, but Jane had given chase almost instantly, chasing after me, _chasing…_

"_Aro simply wishes to speak with you again…"_

_Run…_

But there was Afton, just down that lane there_, _and maybe, _maybe_ Jane would –

"_I don't think so…"_

Run, Alice, come on, _run_…

"_Felix," Demetri's smooth, slick as water voice was murmuring chidingly, and a flicker of my pursuer played at the edges of my mind, as Jane turned at the sound of Afton shouting her name… _

"_Felix, not here…" _

_And Afton was calling to her, and she was stopping, impossibly,_ impossibly_ stopping, turning to speak with him…_

Oh thank you, Afton, thank you, thank you, _thank you…Edward I'm coming, wait for me…!_

_But both the Volturi members were already beginning to steal closer to Edward, blocking the mouth of the alley to avoid a scene, forcing him backwards…_

One more street and the future shifted suddenly…

_Skipping down the alleyway towards both of them, Edward's amazement and shock showing on his face…_

…and I rounded the final corner, and turned into the alley, and…

...and I was there.

* * *

**CLIFFHANGER! OH YEAH!**

**So I guess most people know what will happen now. Alice ran into Jane, who in turn chased after her, got diverted by Afton, but will soon give chase again, and follow Alice's scent to Edward, Bella, and the rest of them. So…I guess you could argue that it's Alice's fault they ended up caught by the Volturi. Ah well. **

**What did everyone think of the backstories/flashbacks (Jasper, Rosalie, and the Quileutes) in the Eclipse movie? I though the Quileute one was a bit on the overdone side, but Rosalie's was good and I loved Jasper's, though I wish they'd kept in the meeting-in-the-diner scene…**

**REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW**


	41. Chapter 19 VOLTERRA PART 4

**Excuse: Builders are demolishing our house again, this time to build a kitchen, and we're eating/sleeping on and off at our grandparents' house, so I can't even write, let alone update anything. I'm so sorry the wait has been so long. **

**And another thing…I love Stephanie insanely, of course. Who couldn't? But ARGH she writes some dialogue which is just near-impossible to work with…be warned…**

* * *

There in front of me, half-way down the darkened alley, stood Bella, flat up against a wall with Edward crouched protectively in front of her. It was the first time we'd come face to face in months, I realised with a jolt…

_Hi Edward. _

He glanced up in shock as I came round the corner and into view, his jet-black, thirsty eyes wide with realisation as they met mine – as did the two tall, cloaked figures in front of him. Felix and Demetri's faces were in shadow, just like Jane's had been; safe from the glaring sun inside their hoods, but also like Jane…the eyes were still visible.

Trying not to shudder at the two pairs of deep, crimson irises that narrowed in suspicion as they rested on me, I tripped as fast as I could over to Edward and Bella's side.

"Let's behave ourselves, shall we?" I suggested, frowning with pointed disproval at Edward's dumbfounded face. "There are ladies present."

The two Volturi guard straightened up. I glanced at them out of the corner of my eye, curious in spite of myself; Demetri was just the same as ever before, only so much sharper, more focussed – and beautiful – in real life. Felix was clearer, too – and all the more foreboding for it. He towered over us all.

Both of them looked me swiftly up and down, taking in my miniscule size. I clenched my fists.

"We're not alone," I reminded them coldly, nodding over Demetri's shoulder. A small human family, dressed all in scarlet with flags and ice-creams in hand stood a little way off, whispering and pointing to our converged group.

Felix glanced from them, back to me. A few visions flittered in and out of focus as he contemplated attacking my brother and me now that both our sides were even. His face soured.

"Please, Edward," Demetri was saying fervently to Edward, in his liquid-smooth voice. "Let's be reasonable…"

…reasonable…

…_and some decision, close by, not far away, just a few alleys to the left, little figure in black, tripping towards us, deep dark hole, corridors Edward had walked just yesterday, that cathedral like room, three thrones lining one curved wall…_

_Aro's exclamation of both surprise and delight as the three of us entered the chamber with Jane tripping lightly just in front of us, and…_

…_and…_

…and the whole future gave a sudden, almighty _shift._

I fought back a gasp.

"Let's," I heard Edward say in reply to Demetri, his tone icy.

…_Edward…?_ I managed to choke out mentally. _Edward, the future, our future, please listen, someone I ran into on the way here, she's…_

"And we'll leave quietly now…"

_Edward, please, I'm sorry, she's following my scent, she's coming to join us…!_

"…with no one the wiser…"

…_she'll be here any minute, Edward, she's running…!_

Demetri sighed in frustration. "At least let us discuss this more privately."

…_Edward…!_

"…No..."

Felix grinned.

…_Edward! _

"Enough."

Oh no.

All five of us, Bella included, turned in unison to watch the small, dark – and to me, familiar_ – _shape of the little girl prance towards us down the alley.

Edward stiffened…and then sighed very deeply; both in recognition…and resignation.

"Jane," he said quietly, in a defeated voice.

I stayed very still, watching with thoroughly apprehensive eyes as the girl in the midnight cloak came to stand before us. Taking in her tiny size, I wondered if I might possibly, possibly be a good match for her if things came to a fight.

Under the midnight cloak, her dark clothes were as plain and simple as the other guard and, strangely, of the same maturity as well. Not clothes for a child – though that was what she was, truly. She couldn't be older than twelve, if that…

She saw me looking. Her blank little face, shockingly lovely, gave nothing away as her gaze met mine; but there was something in her glinting, horribly knowing scarlet eyes that sent trickles of ice up and down my spine. Memories of how many immortals Carlisle said he'd watched scream for mercy before this particular guard member filled my mind…

I tried not to shudder. She really didn't look like much…but looks could be deceiving. I knew that very well.

Demetri and Felix were looking smug.

"Follow me," Jane said plaintively, in her sweet voice – but I could hear the edge better now, that thin, reedy edge, even more pronounced than it had been in my visions, lacing the ends of her words. The sound was all wrong, coming from the mouth of the little girl. Unnatural.

But it was a voice neither me nor Edward was stupid enough to disobey.

Felix smirked; and gestured for us to go first. Slowly, and without a word, all six of us – five vampires and a single human – began to move, faster than I knew would be comfortable for Bella, down the alleyway.

The music and rumbling voices of the celebrating humans behind us, muffled already by the thick stone walls, faded from earshot within seconds as we walked. I glanced warily behind us. Demetri and Felix hulked like great giants a hand stretch behind me, blocking the mouth of the alley from view. Blocking our only escape from view.

From _reach_.

Edward caught my eye over Bella's hair, jerking his head to the side; questioning.

_You all right?_ the gesture asked.

I thought about that for a moment.

_I'm…ok, _I replied, carefully.

Then I glanced behind me again at the hulking shape of Felix – and suddenly I wasn't so sure.

This was bad, bad, _bad_…

"Well, Alice," Edward murmured conversationally to me as we paced quietly along. "I suppose I shouldn't be surprised to see you here."

"It was my mistake," I replied equally quietly, guilt twisting into a little knot inside me once again at the truth of my words. It was true. It _had _been my mistake. My own stupid, _mutt_-induced mistake. "It was my job to set it right."

"What happened?"

I thought for a moment, carefully mushing my thoughts – it felt odd; it had been so long since I'd had to worry about that kind of thing – as I debated how much to tell him.

"It's…a long story," I said finally, eyes flickering to Bella. "In summary, she did jump off a cliff, but she wasn't trying to kill herself. Bella's all about extreme sports these days."

_And that's not the only extreme thing she's into right now…I haven't even begun on the brand new budding werewolf friends…I can assure you, _my_ place has been well and truly taken…_

Around Bella's waist, one of Edward's hands clenched into a stone fist.

"Hm," he said, very quietly, causing Bella to flush scarlet, the blood rushing to her cheeks – and I heard Demetri sigh wistfully behind me. Both he and Felix eyed Bella hungrily with dark, smoky-red eyes…

…_Aro greeting us, down in that same chamber…touching hands…what was with all this touching hands?…Caius speaking, "the law claims them so"…"cannot be allowed to go on"…fire burning and Bella screaming…_

_But another future, more possibilities…_

"_We will visit you"…"certainly, no problem"…"free to go"…Edward's look of triumph as he glanced at me over Bella's shoulder…up a dark hole and out into daylight, but the decision hadn't been made yet…_

_Fire and blood, Bella's blood, and…_

…_or…_

_Free…free to go…_

We didn't have to travel far. After several more minutes of silent walking – and on my part, watching; desperately trying to work out our chances from the mad blur of new and unmade decisions…we met a familiar dead end, and an ample-sized hole sitting black and seemingly bottomless in front of us.

Like the cliff dive – so horribly, _horribly_ like the cliff dive – I stepped forward into nothing over the hole, and then I was falling, down, down, down, the cool air rushing past me, damp and musty. I landed lightly on more stone ground, my eyes blinking to adjust to the gloom. Jane stood just a few feet away, watching me, her expression disdainful.

"It's all right, Bella. Alice will catch you…"

_Oh I will, will I? _I thought doubtfully in Edward's direction, realising what he wanted me to do. _That's going to be easier said than done, you know…_

"Alice?" I heard a trembling voice call from somewhere far above me. Jane smirked. I glared angrily at her, biting back a hiss.

She smiled.

Suppressing a shudder, I turned back to call up the hole. "I'm right here, Bella."

"Ready?" Edward's voice questioned.

"Drop her," I called back as soothingly as I could up at the tiny circle of light that was the opening. Bella's large brown eyes, wide with terror, peered down through the gloom, searching for me. Then down she fell, mouth clamped shut as though holding back a scream, through the rushing blackness – and into my arms

I tried to catch her as lightly as I could – but she still gasped and winced at my hard, marble-stone catch. In the dark of the passage, her face was very white and very, very scared. Pausing only to give her hand a quick squeeze, I set her down and moved out of the way for Edward to follow. Jane turned towards the waiting passageway winding away into the gloom before us, and we began to move once again.

The sound of something metallic sliding shut over the hole behind us echoed around the passage with terrible finality.

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**I know I said it was a long chapter, but then my Mum came along and pointed out that I really didn't need four thousand words of describing things like the wall and Bella's heartbeat…so I cut it down. Quite a bit.**

**And I've got to throw this out there: ALICE AND JASPER IN THE ECLIPSE MOVIE! Have you ever seen any couple more adorable? Their little teasing play-fight…Jasper trying to steal a kiss halfway through...talking of which; their PERFECT kisses…the 'my apologies, ma'm' line…them both leaping in to protect each other during the battle...I really could go on all day :D**

**Virtual Jasper-kiss to anyone who reviews...come on, you can't resist...press that lil' button...Jasper's waiting for you...mwahaha...!**


	42. Chapter 19 VOLTERRA PART 5

****

By the way: Italics = Alice's visions (and sometimes her thoughts too, or occasionally sound effects. Complicated XD sorry!)

Thanks for all the lovely reviews from last chapter!

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The passageway Jane led us down then seemed to get colder by the second as we walked – Bella's warm, human breath fogging into mist in front of her. The walls were black beside us, water trickling in damp rivulets down the edges and dripping onto the uneven floor beneath our feet…

_Drip…drip…drip…_

I shuddered. The passage seemed to be getting narrower by the second – though I knew that was stupid; the walls felt too tight on either side of me, grazing against my arms. Dark was all around us, swathing us in its cloak, just like Jane was swathed in hers. Midnight. Pitch. Black pressing down, horribly claustrophobic, pressing like I'd pressed so hard at the wall blocking Bella's future, like the blankness of those _mutts _like I couldn't see…

I let my eyes drift shut again, blindly feeling my way forwards whilst searching further, much further, trying to see our exit, our escape, our way of getting out alive…of getting _Bella _out alive…

_Edward…Bella…Bella with her hand clasped in Aro's, _another _one of these stupid hand holds I didn't understand…_

_And then faint…so very faint…_

_My own pale, meek little hand, looking horribly small and delicate next to Aro's thin, long-fingered one as we reached to clasp them together…_

I shook my head in confusion and frustration alike as the scene dissolved as quickly as it had come – this was _impossible_, nothing was making sense…

After what felt like hours of silent walking, we passed through a metal grate and finally reached a large, ornately carved wooden door, leading into a hallway. Still following Jane, we crossed the hall, and stepped into an elevator waiting open for us.

_Of all the things I expected, this has got to be the most bizarre_, I thought in Edward's direction as the doors slid silently shut behind us. He snorted under his breath.

Both Felix and Demetri let their hoods fall back upon entering the lift, their upright stances relaxing as it began to move. I pressed myself tight as I could up against the right hand wall next to Bella, as far away from the red-eyed immortals as I could. The dark, velvety colour of their unblinking gazes were making me think of things I didn't even want to go anywhere near at this moment…

"_Sister…" Alec greeting us, dressed in a pearl grey suit, reaching for his sister so they could kiss each other's cheeks…_

"_Good afternoon, Jane…"_

_A human woman with green eyes and dressed in a hideous purple jumper greeting us…_

…_human…_

…human…?

A hand nudged sharply against my shoulder – Edward's. My eyes snapped open just in time to follow him and Bella out of the lift and into a warmer, much more welcoming hallway – my thoughts racing.

_They had a human in their midst as well…_

The room we'd stepped into took me by surprise. The floor was carpeted in thick, soft green, like grass, only the flowers that should have scattered it stood upright and stiff in pretty, delicate looking vases on various tables around the room. One gust of wind and they'd topple, I thought with a vague twinge of annoyance. Whoever had styled this room needed serious instruction on how to organize things…

The whole space reminded me, oddly, of an office reception area – the posh, uptight sort, smelling strongly of new leather and something faintly sickly sweet and flowery. The room was empty, aside from a few spotless white sofas and a tall woman with green eyes, like a cat, sitting behind a mahogany counter across from us. I suppose she was pretty, really, for a human…

But that was just it. _Human. _

"Good afternoon, Jane," she murmured in accented English, as we passed the counter. She didn't even look twice at the company following behind the little guard member; the soaking-wet human who was trailing water all over the clean green carpet with every step, the shirtless and glowering Edward who still had her clutched to his side, and me…small and out of place next to the dishevelled couple, and trying not to stare as we passed her desk.

Jane nodded once, her expression apathetic. "Gianna."

I shook my head slowly from side to side in bewilderment. _What_ was someone like her doing in the midst of the Volturi? Didn't her being here, amongst the immortals, break the rules just as much as Edward and I had with Bella? Was this our chance, then? Would they let Bella leave with us, unharmed, as they too had a human in their midst? Was I really worrying about nothing, after all…?

_But the rules…the rules had always said…_

Edward shot me a dark look. I meaningfully moved my gaze to the human woman and back again; questioning. Edward jerked his head once to the side; _later, _the gesture indicated. _I'll explain later._

I swallowed a lot of new questions with difficulty – but nodded once, as through another set of double doors and into a final room we walked, where there was someone – this time, immortal – waiting for us.

Alec stood at the end of the room. I couldn't deny it; he was every bit as lovely in real life as he had been in my visions; small, slight, and dark-eyed as his fellow guard, with hair just a shade different from his sister's, and lips not quite as full…but other than that, they were alike as two peas in a pod.

I tensed automatically as he came forward to greet us with a smile, and reached for his sister.

"Jane," he murmured in a strangely soft, sweet voice, a few childlike inflections woven oddly through his speech.

"Alec," his twin responded, also smiling. They kissed each others cheeks – Alec eyeing Bella curiously over his sister's shoulder.

"They send you out for one, and you come back with two…and a half," he noted, quiet sarcasm lacing his words like that reedy edge laced Jane's. "Nice work."

Bella's heartbeat, already pounding like a steam train, stuttered and sped almost out of control as Alec smirked at her. I glowered, whilst Jane trilled a bubbling, sparkling stream of a laugh, Felix sniggering along from behind me.

"Welcome back, Edward," Alec said smoothly, moving his gaze to meet my brother's. "You seem in a better mood."

"Marginally," Edward growled. Alec raised his eyebrows, glancing back at Bella's trembling form.

"And _this_ is the cause of all the trouble?"

I reached up on tip-toes to wrap an arm round Bella's shoulder as she shook so violently it was a wonder she was still standing. Edward only smiled contemptuously for a moment – then froze.

"Dibs," Felix called casually from a few feet behind me.

_Crap. _

Snarls erupted from Edward's chest – shoving Bella behind him, he whipped round to face Felix with fury raging through his expression, crouched _to_ spring; _spring and pounce on the guard member _–

- "_Patience_," I hissed desperately, grabbing Edward's arm before he could move. _Stop, Edward, just stop for a second and think, come on, think, what will happen if you lose your control now, look at what will happen…_

…I let the flickering vision drift to the front of my mind...

_Stop, Edward. Please. I can't see what's going to happen, it's not clear, so many decisions depend on it…Aro's going to talk with us, question us, and maybe more, we'll have to see, but you've got to _stop_ this. The best thing both of us can do for Bella now is stay calm and civil…seriously, why am I the one telling you this? You've a much better idea of it all, of what's going to happen. So come on. Calm, Edward. Please…let's see if we can get through this…_

…_And home to Jasper, _I added quietly to myself, with a pang of sudden, overwhelming homesickness. _Oh Jazz…_he must be going just about insane with worry…

Felix shot me a bitterly disappointed look as Edward nodded once in reply to my pleas – causing Alec to follow his gaze. The small boy's eyes met mine for a brief moment, his head tilting to one side in a mildly curious sort of way – the gesture was bizarrely identical to what Jane's had been upon first seeing me. I looked quickly at my feet.

"Aro will be so pleased to see you again," Alec commented.

"Let's not keep him waiting," Jane suggested – and I could hear the smile in her voice.

The twins both turned in eerie synchronization to lead the way down the rest of the final hallway – this place was like a rabbit warren – then, turning left, Jane slid aside a piece of panelling to reveal a plain wood door, the handle of which she reached for.

Edward's eyes met mine over Bella's mop of brown hair. She was still wrapped tightly against his side, and shaking like a leaf. I wanted so badly to wrap _my _arms round her too – protect her, shield her, show everyone she had two people on her side, that we wouldn't let any of them, laws or no laws, anywhere near her without a fight…

I didn't.

_Edward? Look, you know I don't know what's going to happen. We've…just got to stay civil and hope for the best, I guess…I'm sorry. _

I wanted to snarl with frustration and shame alike. It wasn't often – it was _never, _up until a few days ago – that I was rendered so…completely useless. Ugh.

Edward nodded the tiniest bit, his lips reaching to brush over Bella's hair once, gentle and loving as a whisper. I looked away, a horrible aching pounding inside me at the sight. _Jasper. _I wanted Jasper. So badly. At that moment, I almost…_almost_…wished I'd brought him. So that he could have held me like Edward was holding Bella now.

But…

No. No, I didn't really wish that. Because wherever Jasper was now, he was safe. That was what mattered.

Edward and Bella entered first, in front of me. Then I followed close behind.**

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**

**CLIFFHANGER! MWAHA! REVIEWS ARE THE ONLY THING THAT WILL MAKE ME UPDATE FASTER!**


	43. Chapter 20 VERDICT PART 1

**Aro has got to be ****The Most Complicated And Impossible To Write Villain Of All Time****. Seriously, he's got to be. How did Stephanie come up with him? Cos she's a genius…yeah…good answer…**

**Ok help, here goes with the big Volturi talk…*hides under computer table*…**

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The space we stepped into was, oddly, perfectly round – the walls curved like a dark stone-walled and floored castle turret. I looked up automatically as we entered. The ceiling was curved too, like a cathedral, though not really that far up, dotted with a few slits through which streaks of sunlight streamed down onto us, lighting the room and the people that stood in it.

My eyes flickered from face to pale face; the guard members stood in small groups dotted round the chamber, just like I'd seen, red eyes curious as they turned to rest on our little group. Whispers faded to dead silence within seconds as we entered, broken only by Bella's loud, uneven human footsteps.

I recognized some of the guard – Afton, with the rest of the little retinue who'd watched Edward all last night, and Corin…there was Chelsea, with her misty blonde hair, another I remembered as Aelfric, and one who stood near the far end, Reneta, that must be, as she was standing right next to –

– oh. Of course…right next to Aro.

He stood across the room from our approaching group and close by to those three large wooden chairs I remembered from the visions, like thrones, which sat flush with the curving stone walls. He glanced up as we neared him; his alien features, so pale it was unnatural even for an immortal, were familiar to me just like the other Volturi, but still so strange…like no other immortals I'd ever seen; from the translucent skin to the odd, clouded film over his dark burgundy eyes.

I was glad now that I'd been prepared for the sight – unlike Bella, whose jaw dropped as the ancient vampire approached us, moving with shockingly elegant, flowing steps across the room towards us.

"Jane, dear one, you've returned!" he exclaimed, in that same odd, high, soft-sighing tone that was also familiar to me from the visions, his face splitting into an impossibly delighted smile as Jane moved swiftly in front of us and tripped towards him. He reached for her, cupped her face in his papery hands, and…

…bent to kiss her, once, on her full lips.

I raised my eyebrows so high they disappeared into my hairline. Ok, then…clearly, I'd been right. There was more to this little girl than met the eye. Much, much more.

Hm.

Jane's face was full of something disturbingly like adoration as she stepped back from the ancient vampire.

"Yes, Master." She smiled like an angelic child. "I brought him back alive, just as you wished."

"Ah, Jane," Aro sighed fondly, his hands falling from her face. "You are such a comfort to me."

He drifted back a step, his eyes falling on group converged behind her – and the smile brightened; became ecstatic.

"And Alice and Bella too!" he exclaimed, clasping his hands together. "This isa happy surprise. Wonderful!"

He turned to our hulking escort. "Felix – be a dear and tell my brothers about our company. I'm sure they wouldn't want to miss _this_."

_Edward? _I questioned tentatively through a single thought. _Edward, what's going on? Is this…genuine? Is he really that delighted to see us all? Was I right – is there going to be no bringing up of broken laws and stuff after all, because _they've _got a human too…?_

If that was the case…but…

…there was something that just really, really didn't ring true about it all…

My feet shifted another step closer to Bella of their own accord.

"You see, Edward?" Aro sighed in a pitying, almost grandfatherly way, turning on my stony-faced brother. "What did I tell you? Aren't you glad I did not give you what you wanted yesterday?"

"Yes, Aro, I am," Edward answered quietly, his arm tightening round Bella's waist; she huddled against him. I watched uncomfortably as Aro's strange, misty eyes darted between the two with fascination that was impossible to hide; like they were rare museum pieces Jane had brought him specially for examination.

"I _love_ a happy ending," he stated rapturously. "They are so rare. But I want the whole story – how did this happen? Alice?"

I froze in shock as he turned to me. Me? What about me? What did I know? Why was he…

…but if…

…but he couldn't know about…

…that was impossible, but…

…but...

But Aro was still smiling, this time down at me, with a horribly knowing look in his velvety red eyes, and something was telling me that impossible or not, somehow…somehow…he _knew…_

"Your brother seemed to think you infallible," he commented. "But apparently, there was some mistake…?"

He trailed off into silence; every red eye in the room was on me now. I glanced nervously around at the array of ghostly faces all turned down to mine, scrambling to think of an answer whilst still trying to hide my shock, my disbelief – I remembered from those visions, back on the plane, _'the little future-seeing one'_ Aro had said, I had seen it myself, but how…how…_how did he know about my visions…?_

…_Dang it, Edward, what did you tell him…? _

"Oh, I'm…far from infallible," I replied as lightly as I could. I attempted a smile – then wished I hadn't, as Aro's already unnervingly huge one widened impossibly back at me. "As you can see today, I cause problems as often as I cure them –"

"You are too modest," Aro chided, practically cutting me off in his haste. "I've seen some of your more amazing exploits, and I must admit, I've never observed anything like your talent. Wonderful!"

I stared at him blankly in confusion for a second…then felt a frown crease my forehead. _Observed _my talent…_seen _my exploits…

I felt my fists clench – who had gone blabbering about my visions, _my _visions, to him, of all people?

I shot Edward a very pointed glower – Aro didn't miss it. He wasn't missing anything, I noted, with a further twinge of uneasiness…

_I don't like this, Edward, I really, really don't like this… _

"I'm sorry," Aro cut in sympathetically, before Edward could speak, seeming to sense my discomfort. "We haven't been properly introduced at all, have we? It's just that I feel like I know you already…and I tend to get ahead of myself. Your brother introduced us yesterday, in a peculiar way. You see, I share some of your brother's talent, although I am limited in a way that he is not."

I glanced at Edward in surprise – he smiled grimly back at me.

"And also exceptionally more powerful," he added. "Aro needs physical contact to hear you thoughts, but…he hears much more than I do. You know I can only hear what's passing through your head in the moment…Aro hears every thought your mind has ever had."

_Oh. _

I glanced back to Aro's still smiling face with new eyes; wary now._ That _explained a lot. If he could hear those thoughts from your past too, things like memories, everyone you knew, everything you'd seen, done, said, been…the idea sounded horribly intrusive, I thought, horribly intrusive, but…

…but…

…_everything you'd done, said, been…every thought…every memory…_

Every _memory_…

…then…

…then even the ones…you yourself…couldn't remember…?

But that was impossible. Silly. Stupid even to have considered it.

But…

…but…

And it was too late for me to stop myself now. The thoughts poured into my mind, smashing down all the barriers I'd constructed so carefully against them in the past months, flooding in tidal waves I was useless against – those internet searches, long into the night, that visit to the archives, those asylum sheets Jazz and I had checked through, that name scrawled at the top, faded writing, _Mary Alice Brandon, _and the parents, _my _parents, my little sister, and Cynthia...Cynthia...

The life I had no memory of, yet it must still be there, buried somewhere in the depths of my mind, unreachable for me, but it had happened, it was a memory, the thoughts must have passed through my mind, however long ago, and for Aro…maybe, just _maybe_ for Aro…

Very slowly, Edward turned his gaze up to meet mine – and his eyes were suddenly full of so much pity.

Then he shook his head once, briefly; side to side.

The bubble of hope inside me deflated so fast it was like someone had flicked a switch. I bit my lip hard.

_Are you…sure, Edward? If I could just ask him, just see – he wouldn't mind, I'm positive he wouldn't, and it would only take a minute…_

Another glance; this time warning. Aro's gaze was flitting between us with curiosity wild on his face – and a hint of frustration…craving to know what was passing between us that he couldn't hear.

"But to be able to hear from a distance…" he reflected quietly, almost to himself. "…that would be so _convenient_."

Footsteps suddenly sounded from behind. All heads in the room turned automatically to see who had entered – and I forgot all about the incredible, overwhelming possibility that there might still be a way left for me to retrieve some precious human memories I needed so badly, as through the door at the end of the room drifted two more people; one white haired, and one dark. I knew them instantly.

"Marcus, Caius, look!" Aro sang by way of a greeting as the pair entered, gesturing one pale spidery hand towards us. "Bella is alive after all, and Alice is here with her – isn't that wonderful?"

I watched with further trepidation as the two new leaders glided towards us. Both were as different from the other as it were possible to be, and yet again, straight from my visions; Caius stubbornly ignored his fellow leader's enthusiasm, striding across the room in the direction of his throne like chair and pausing only to throw a thoroughly sour look in Bella and Edward's direction.

Marcus, on the other hand, looked as blank and uninterested as ever, drifting slower than his fellow leader across the room towards Aro – like he was more smoky-black vapour than vampire. I watched in confusion as he paused to touch Aro's right hand briefly with his own; the movement listless, almost routine-like…yet it looked faintly familiar to me. Where had I seen it before…?  
Beside me, Edward stiffened.

"Thank you, Marcus," Aro murmured, releasing Marcus's hand. "That was quite…interesting."

Edward snorted quietly. I threw him a questioning glance.

_I don't understand, what was he…wait…was he…was he letting Aro see into his mind, like you did? What did he need to tell Aro, then, that was so important? Edward?_

_Edward…?_

"Amazing," Aro was murmuring, clearly enthralled as he glanced to and fro between my brother and Bella, again like they were that same pair of rare museum pieces. "Absolutely _amazing_…"

_Edward! _I moaned in frustration. _Please!_

Edward sighed. "Marcus sees relationships, Alice, he's surprised by the intensity of ours."  
Aro smiled his huge, unsettling smile – it was becoming almost sickly – and nodded in a satisfied kind of way. "_So _convenient," he repeated, directing the words at Edward this time. "It takes quite a bit to surprise Marcus, I can assure you."

Over Aro's shoulder, I saw Caius lift a skeletal hand to his mouth to hide a smirk. Marcus, sitting dead-faced by Caius on one of the three throne-like chairs, looked everything _but _surprised. His face was utterly lifeless, drained of emotion, his eyes blank and unseeing. I wondered with a small twinge of pity what on earth could have happened to him to leave him in the state he was now. A living corpse. A walking zombie. Like Edward had been without Bella…and she without him…

"It's just so hard to understand," Aro was musing, shaking his head slowly from side to side in wonder as he watched Edward nestle closer against Bella's mop of matted hair. "Even now…how can you stand so close to her like that?"

Edward smiled sardonically. "It's not without effort."

"But still…_la tua cantante_…what a waste!"

"I look at it more as a price."

Aro raised one thin black brow in obvious scepticism. "A very high price."

"Opportunity cost."

He chuckled at that; the sound soft, ghostly peals of bells. I suppressed a shudder. "If I hadn't smelled her through your memories, I wouldn't have believed the call of anyone's blood could be so strong. I've never felt anything like it myself. Most of us would trade much for such a gift, and yet you…"

"Waste it."

Aro laughed again. "Ah, how I miss my friend Carlisle! You remind me of him…only he was not so angry."

_I'll say, _I thought ruefully. _Calm, remember, Edward…_

"Carlisle outshines me in many other ways as well," Edward replied stiffly – but his tone was tinged with just a hint of impatience now, and I had to admit, I was starting to feel the same – what was Aro trying to get to, here…?

"I certainly never thought to see Carlisle bested for self-control, of all things," Aro was saying, contemplatively. "But you put him to shame."

Edward and I exchanged glances. My frown matched his; yes, his control was nothing short of incredible, but…Carlisle was something else altogether. And we both knew it. The whole family did. Nothing and no one could beat Carlisle.

"Hardly," Edward murmured in reply to Aro's statement – answering for both of us. _Thanks, _I thought silently.

"I am gratified by his success," Aro continued, as though nothing had passed – but he hadn't missed the exchange. "Your memories of him are quite a gift for me, though they astonish me exceedingly. I am surprised by how it…_pleases_ me, his success in this unorthodox path he's chosen. I expected that he would waste, weaken with time. I'd scoffed at his plans to find others who would share his peculiar vision –" – he looked to me, then, inclining his head – "– yet somehow, I'm happy to be wrong."

Edward said nothing. I scanned the future worriedly, but Aro seemed still to be debating exactly how to continue, how to steer the conversation in the direction he wanted it.

"But _your _restraint," he continued, finally. "I did not know such strength was possible – to inure yourself against such a siren call, not just once but again and again…if I had not felt it myself, I would not have believed. Just remembering how she appeals to you…"

He flicked filmy eyes beyond Edward, resting them on Bella for just a little too long than seemed natural – then chuckled once again. "It makes me…thirsty."

I froze.

"Do not be alarmed!" Aro laughed, as Edward's whole future dissolved into a million panic-induced break-for-it escape possibilities. "I mean her no harm. But…" He paused then, as though a highly interesting thought had just struck him – but what followed was far too convenient for the conversation to have led us here by pure chance. "I am _so _curious, about one thing in particular…"

He eyed Bella with sudden, hungry curiosity. "May I?" he asked, eagerly, reaching out a thin, long-fingered hand towards her in a gesture I recognized instantly with a rush of realisation and dread.

"Ask _her,_" Edward managed to growl, through gritted teeth.

"Of course, how rude of me," Aro laughed. "Bella?"

He turned to her, eyes glancing down to her right hand, which lay trembling by her side; dark burgundy eyes, I noted – terribly, dangerously dark. Dark with _thirst._

"Bella," he addressed her again, adopting a kindly tone. "I am _fascinated_ that you are the one exception to Edward's impressive talent – so very interesting that such a thing should occur. And I was wondering, since our talents are similar in many ways, if you would be so kind as to allow me to try…to see if you are an exception for _me_, as well?"

_Bella's screams echoing round the dark room, Edward's head torn from his body, followed by his legs, his hands, his torso, in too many terrible pieces to count, Bella drained and limp, both of them dead and silenced forever…_

_It was still there_, I noted with a shudder of horror as the grotesque images flickered on and off through my mind. Still a possibility, despite all Aro's smiles and syrupy tones, despite all these good wishes and polite questions…ugh. It was all so fake, this whole stupid, happy, friendly set up was fake…

Beside me, Bella slowly and gently detached herself from Edward's chain-like arms, and crept – practically tiptoed – across the no man's land that lay between Aro and our little group; raising her hand in front of her. It was trembling.

Aro stepped closer, as did the rest of the Volturi, moving with him almost automatically – a shudder of claustrophobia ran through my body. _Surrounded._

Aro's excitement was almost uncontainable as he leant forward eagerly to take Bella's hand in his.

_Would he be able to hear her?_ I wondered. Carlisle had never understood why she seemed to be the only exception to Edward's talent, yet still I could see her – _most_ of the time – and Jasper still affect her emotions…what about Aro's gift, then?

I pushed away an answering vision, wanting to see it for real – the ancient's face was still turned down to Bella's, the smile still plastered over his expression, but…it was a little too wide now, a little too reassuring, and even as I watched, it began to slip, confusion creeping from underneath the charade, then disbelief, incredulity…wonder…

"So very interesting," Aro breathed, releasing Bella's hand. I tried hard not to smile as Bella half-ran back to reach Edward, who was looking just about as smug as I felt. Across the room, Caius's eyes had narrowed into slits – whilst Aro seemed to be thinking.

"A first," he murmured slowly, contemplatively, after almost a minute of silence. "I wonder if she is immune to all our talents…Jane, dear?"

* * *

***creeps out from under computer table***

**So…how did I do? Please don't shoot flames at me *holds up fire extinguisher* but constructive criticism is always appreciated.**

**REVIEW to receive a virtual…uh…tight, crushing, protective Jasper hug of your very own? Come on, you can't say no to an offer like that…press that lil' button…**


	44. Chapter 20 VERDICT PART 2

**Random fact of the day: My little baby sister just managed to recite all the names of the Twilight books off by heart. I'm so proud of her :D**

* * *

"_Jane, dear?"_

It took almost a whole second for me to understand.

"_No!_" Edward snarled furiously, shoving Bella behind him with such force she almost fell over. "No! _No!_"

_Edward! _I pleaded desperately, biting back my own hisses and grabbing his arm in panic, but he shook me off angrily – and Jane had skipped forward, her ruby eyes on her master, hopeful and smiling…

"Yes, Master?"

"_No!_" Edward roared again, the word distorted hideously by his snarls – the whole gathered group of the Volturi muttered uncomfortably amongst themselves in response, embarrassed by Edward's reaction – all that is except for Caius, who glanced up, abruptly much more interested, leaning forward in his throne…

Aro turned to speak fondly down to Jane, entirely unfazed by what had passed. "I was wondering, my dear one, if Bella is immune to _you._"

Jane smiled; the beatific, angel-smile of a little child…and turned her gaze on Bella.

"Don't!" I cried frantically as Edward threw himself out of his crouch and leapt towards the smiling girl, snarls ripping from his chest, visions blurring and…

…and…

And instantly, impossibly, Edward collapsed to the floor, crumpling into a heap at my and Bella's feet, his body convulsing in on itself, his hands reaching up and clutching into white-knuckled fists against his hair, his mouth moving round silent screams, his face contorted in agony…agony…

_Pure agony…_

I couldn't move. Frozen with horror, I stared uselessly down at Edward's crumpled form, twisting and writhing before the little girl, whose angel's face had split into a wide smile of pleasure, a happy child's pleasure as she played an ever-familiar game…

"_Stop!_"

Bella's strangled cry jerked me out of my trance just in time as she too threw herself past me and towards the happy little girl –but her eyes were on Edward, and wide with a very different kind of agony; the agony of watching him suffer. I grabbed both her arms, but she hit out at me furiously, oblivious to the danger, still shouting out desperate pleas…

"Stop! _Stop -!_"

"Jane," Aro's voice murmured tranquilly – and though the single word was spoken so quietly and with such indifference it was a wonder any of us could hear it…it had an instantaneous affect.

Jane's terrible gaze, still edged with that sweetly smile, vanished from my brother's crumpled form, snapping up to meet her master's with a hint of disappointment in her eyes. I almost bit my lip off trying not to snarl.

Aro smiled pensively back at his little guard – and nodded to the human still enclosed in my arms.

The urge to lift Bella up in one swift movement and bolt from the room was almost overwhelming.

I couldn't bare to watch. I caught Bella's hand, squeezing it as tight as I could without hurting her as Jane turned her burning gaze towards us both; willing, pleading, begging, hoping against hope as I pressed my eyes shut…

…_but it was all right…Bella was all right…_

…"He's fine," I murmured quickly in Bella's ear as she made another desperate reach for Edward…

…_and it was all right…_

…_Bella safe, still safe, enclosed in my arms…_

… _Jane hissing in frustration…_

…_and Bella safe…_

…_safe…_

The relief was like a waterfall; crashing, flowing, washing over me blissfully – _it was all right, it was ok, Bella was going to be ok…_

A sudden tap on my arm made me glance round; Edward was by my side again, his arms held out for Bella, and looking thoroughly shaken.

_You ok? _I demanded anxiously. He nodded grimly in reply, pulling Bella back tight against him…but he was trembling. I had to clamp my jaw together again to stop myself hissing.

Aro started to laugh.

"Ha, ha, ha!" he chuckled, triumph that was sickening to listen to woven through his voice, like a scientist who'd just proved some incredible theory. "This is wonderful!"

Jane let out a hiss; the sound was like spitting poison.

"Do not be put out, dear one," Aro sang, reaching glide a power-light hand over Jane's shoulder. "She confounds us all…"

Jane shook her head in furiously, her upper lip curling back to reveal tiny, razor-sharp teeth as she glared at Bella – who shuddered. I let go a very soft, warning hiss in return; she would _not _take this out on Bella…

"Ha, ha, ha," Aro chortled again, though whether at the discovery he had just made or the seething looks Jane was now shooting me_, _I had no idea. "You are very brave, Edward, to endure in silence. I asked Jane to do that to me once, just out of curiosity…" He trailed off dreamily, shaking his head in wonder – whilst Jane glowed.

I sent a mental picture of myself pretending to vomit in Edward's direction, and saw him cover his mouth quickly to hide a smile.

"So," Aro said, turning back to the three of us with a small sigh. "What do we do with you now? I don't suppose there's any chance that you have changed your mind, Edward…?"

He hid it well; but I could hear the hope, the longing, even, in his voice as he looked at Edward, just barely disguised under the layers of formality. "Your talent would be an _excellent _addition to our little company..."

He gestured around and behind him to the retinue of cloaked figures; little Jane, hulking Felix, beautiful Demetri, misty-haired Chelsea, her golden curls floating behind her as she slid forward one small step…

Beside me, Edward shuddered.

Then shook his head abruptly, from side to side, as though trying to shake something off.

I frowned. _Edward? You all right?_

He didn't reply – but when he finally answered Aro's question, he seemed to weigh each word with extreme care. "I'd…rather…not."

"Alice?" Aro turned to gaze down at me with a wide smile, his tone becoming even more impossibly honeyed. "Would _you_ perhaps be interested in joining us…?"

And something…very strange happened then. It only lasted a moment, so faint, and so very brief and easy to dislodge, to ignore; a tugging, cloying, almost sticky sensation, thick and muggy, creeping over me…I shook my head from side to side, trying to clear it; it was trying to muddy everything, trying to fog my mind, memories, my family's faces, their names, Carlisle, Bella, Edward, trying to wrap round them, though the attempt was feeble, nothing against Emmett and Rosalie and Esme, and…nothing, nothing, _nothing _against my husband…against Jasper…

"No," I said quickly, quietly, in reply to Aro's question – trying not to frown. _What was wrong with me? _"No, thank you."

And the muggy feeling vanished.

Gone.

Disappeared.

Like it had never been there.

_Edward…what…on…earth…was that…?_

"And you…" Aro was saying, turning briskly away from me and smiling warmly instead at Bella. "…Bella?"

Edward hissed, low under his breath, whilst I gritted my teeth – but to everyone's surprise, the voice that answered came from far across the room, close by the three massive throne-like chairs...

"_What?_"

Every head in the room turned automatically at the sound of the new speaker – Caius had risen, his face demanding as he stared over at Aro.

"Caius," Aro sighed, affectionately. "Surely you see the potential? I haven't seen a prospective talent so promising since we found Jane and Alec. Can you imagine the possibilities when she is one of us?"

Caius frowned, casting cold, suspicious eyes over Bella, who shivered in response.

"N-no, thank you," she squeaked, her voice breaking in fright. Jane smirked.

"That's unfortunate," Aro sighed. "Such a waste."

Edward snarled under his breath. "Join or die, is it? I suspected as much when we were brought to _this_ room; so much for your laws -!"

_- Edward! _I moaned in horror –

"Of _course_ not," Aro cut in before Edward could reply, looking appalled at the very idea. "We were already convened here, Edward, awaiting Heidi's return. _Not_ for you."

Edward glared, looking thoroughly unconvinced.

"Aro," Caius hissed, drifting to stand close behind his fellow leader with a glare on his face. "The law claims them."

"How so?" Edward demanded – but he knew as well as I did what Caius was referring to.

"_She_ is a liability," Caius hissed, jutting a skeletal finger at Bella's terrified face. "You have exposed our secrets."

"There are quite a few humans in on your charade here, as well," Edward said through gritted teeth, directing a significant look at me – and I remembered the green-eyed human behind the counter, and my reaction to her.

"Yes," Caius nodded once, and his alien features twisted into a new expression – something I thought vaguely resembled a smile. "But when they are no longer useful to us…they will serve to sustain us."

_Poor woman, _I thought.

"That is not your plan for this one," Caius continued. "If she betrays our secrets, are you prepared to destroy her? I think not."

"I wouldn't –" Bella began, her voice barely a wisp of sound – but Caius silenced her with an icy look.

"Nor do you intend to make her one of us," he went on. "Therefore, she is a vulnerability – though it is true for this, only her life is forfeit. You may leave if you wish."

The last words were said rather regretfully – as though he were hoping this wouldn't be the case. Edward bared his teeth.

"That's what I thought," Caius said with a satisfied smirk.

"Unless," Aro interrupted, looking unhappy with the way the conversation had gone without him in control of it. "Unless…you _do_ intend to give her immortality…?"

Edward's face went very still.

My heart plummeted. _Of all things to ask Edward to promise…_

Slowly, I watched the mask creep calmly, smoothly back into place on my brother's face; his features carving themselves from stone once again as he looked steadily at Aro.

"And…if I do?" he said slowly, voice quiet with dread.  
"Why, then you would be free to go home and give my regards to my friend Carlisle," Aro said pleasantly, sounding thoroughly pleased with himself; he had us backed in a corner now. "But I'm afraid…you would have to mean it."  
He held out one hand with a wide smile.

Oh _no…_

Edward's gaze darted back and forth between Bella and Aro so fast his features blurred; lips tightened in a fierce line, hands clenched into fists at his side. I could almost see the battle raging inside him, see the agonizing decision he had been thrown into. The one he was most likely torturing himself with.

Beside him, Bella turned her gaze up to meet his; alight with new nope, a faint, flickering flame of it, her eyes pleading as they met his.

"Mean it," she whispered. "Please."

_But he couldn't_, I thought, the panic rising inside me again, he _wouldn't…_and the vision was there for the hundredth time; _Bella, dead and battered on the floor, Edward having tried to make a break for it with her in his arms, caught and ripped to shreds, consumed by flames…_

If Edward wouldn't promise…

_No, no, no, no, no…_

It couldn't happen, not now, not when we were so _close, _so close to escaping, so close to getting out; _please, Edward, please, come on, don't be an idiot, we're almost there, so near to getting out and home to Jasper…Jasper…_

_Please, Edward…_

* * *

**Yes, so I know the Chelsea bit (if you caught it) is kinda random, but the idea came to me a few weeks back in the wee hours of the morning after a sleepless night and I just COULDN'T not write it, then…and anyway, Edward mentions it in Breaking Dawn.**

**Jasper's staring right at you with a wide, knowing smile, reaching out to press his palm down your cheek, sending you wave after wave of warm, happy, smothery emotions…and he's pointing to the review button…c****ome on, you can't resist Jasper's power…reevvviiiiwwwww…**


	45. Chapter 20 VERDICT PART 3

**"_Aro knows you as well as you know yourself." – Edward, to Alice, Eclipse page 304._**

_

* * *

_

There was no escape.

We didn't stand a chance. Neither Edward or me would last five minutes against Felix, or Jane, or even Afton…that is, if Alec didn't blind and deafen us all first…

There was no escape. Absolutely none, no way out, unless…unless…_unless…_

I looked at Aro. At his raised hand, his wide, knowing smile as he watched Edward's struggle, and…I let that faint, flickering vision of Bella, standing pale and red-eyed and perfectly immortal, in the distant but ever more certain future, float to the edge of my mind…

Oh…_oh…_

And I knew what to do.

Slowly, cautiously, I stepped out from my huddled position next to Edward and forward towards Aro. _For Edward's benefit only, _I told myself firmly, as I walked, _so that he wouldn't have to promise, to buy him time, just to get us out of here as quickly and safely as possible…_

…but…

...but…I had another reason. _Now_ was my chance to ask, to see if Aro could reach those memories for me…and Edward couldn't stop me now.

Trying not to meet my brother's wild-eyed gaze, I raised my hand in front of me, palm upwards like I'd seen the others do, out towards Aro – inviting.

Aro surveyed me curiously, eyebrows raised high; sceptical at first, then surprised, then…enthralled…

Then he reached out, and took my hand in his – watching my expression.

The oddest sensation came over me.

Some strange awareness, not quite graspable, only really half there, of his power present in my mind began. I frowned; it wasn't a nice feeling, not quite substance, not quite tangible – more like vapour, like the very edges of feathers, gliding so softly you could hardly feel them. Like tendrils of smoke, maybe. Drifting inside of the exact same place my visions would always pass through, through my mind, my thoughts; cold and instantly, horribly unnatural.

I stayed very still, forcing away instincts which screamed at me to tear my hand away and fight the intruder out of my mind – pushing what I wanted him to see to the front of my thoughts…

_Bella. Standing, smiling, with her arm round me, her eyes burning scarlet; newborn eyes. Beautiful, and immortal. A vampire. _

The strange, drifting sensation curled round the thought, holding it steady to examine it with a cool and feather-light touch. I suppressed a shudder. Ugh. It was a horribly…exposed feeling. Bare. Weak. No secrets, no privacy, nothing belonging just to me anymore…everything was now his, too.

_There. You see?_ _There is no danger. No possibility that she will expose you. The vision is solid, set. You don't need Edward's promise, don't need him to…'mean it'. _I'll_ change her, if I have to. I promise. _I…_mean it. _

Aro didn't move or react to any of my thoughts. His face was composed into its mask; utterly blank, impossible to read, eyes closed in concentration…

_Now was the time to ask…_

Slowly, tentatively, I pushed away the scene of vampire-Bella, and let a new one drift to the front of my thoughts; the blank, empty memory that consisted of everything before my transformation, the nothingness of my human life…

But…

…but…

…but even as the question floated to the front of my mind, even as I timidly revealed to him what I wanted to know, how badly I was hoping he could help me…

…I could see, already…that it was going to be no use.

Aro moved curiously over the nothingness of human memory, still there, still thought, still part of me…still something…yet nothing at the same time. Memory I couldn't remember. Thoughts that were thoughts…but empty. Thoughts of nothing. Black. Blank.

Like Marcus's dead face.

Aro could hear them, yes, but all he could hear…was silence. No scenes. No images. No nothing.

Nothing.

_Nothing._

My shoulders sagged. Misery closed over me like a blanket. So…Edward _had_ been right. There was nothing and no one on earth that would ever be able to retrieve that human life for me. Retrieve my parents, my sister…retrieve…

Retrieve the true reason why I had been locked up in that asylum in the first place. So I could know, know for certain…because I had still hoped, pathetically, _stupidly _hoped, even after that graveyard visit, even after the truth had become almost, _almost _impossible to deny…I had still hoped so much.

But that hope was all gone now.

There was nothing left to do, now. Nothing left for me to show.

But…Aro didn't seem to agree with me. I pulled a bit my hand, as carefully and politely as I could, hoping for release…but his grip wouldn't loosen.

It tightened.

I shifted uneasily – I'd _shown_ him what he needed to know, what else was there he wanted to see…?

He answered my question almost instantly; gliding away from the blank human memories, forward into others, replaying scenes for me before I could stop him; _my home, my family, my husband, my life…husband…Jasper…Jasper calming Rosalie down from a strop, flowing love into me as we kissed softly on our bed together, Jasper's talent…power…his power…_

I clamped my jaw together to keep back the hiss that threatened to slip through.

_You keep away from him._

My free hand was clenched in a tight fist now. _Private, _every part of me was screaming. _Not yours to look at and examine however you want. Mine. My thoughts. My memories. My Jasper…_

_You keep _away_ from my husband._

The hand around mine shifted slightly; an uncomfortable, half-response of acceptance; and he drifted quickly away from any thought or memory of Jasper, diving back into the flow of my visions, past and present; tiny, split-second-before-it-happened scenes, the way the future shifted as a decision was changed, the way some visions were solid, some vague with uncertainty, the blank spots from the werewolves, the clearness of my family, past and present, old and new, the most secret, private parts of me, things I'd seen and never let even _Jasper_ in on, replaying them so fast I could hardly catch a word or sight, yet he seemed to understand them all, every single one…so many hundreds…thousands…

…_millions _of tiny predictions I'd been through. Watched.

With my talent.

He pushed to the edges; the maximum of how far into the future I could see, how soon I could predict something before it happened, how I could find people using the future as a guidance, how infallible I was in battle, how useful to my family in so many hundreds of ways, things I didn't want him to see, not one bit, like how I could warn them and help them and guide them and fight with them…everything…

_Everything…_

The horrible feeling of exposure intensified till I could hardly bare it.

_Please, _I began to plead silently. _Please, they're getting impatient, your guard as well as my family, please…_

I couldn't bare this, couldn't bare it, my right-hand hand was a clenched fist round his fingers and I _had_ to pull away, _had _to and a vision sprang to the front of my mind –

_- me trying to snatch my hand away, him trying to pull me back, me tearing it off him and succeeding, Caius snapping out, "disrespectful, insolent" –_

– but just as the scene began to solidify –

– Aro opened his eyes.

The future shifted as his decision changed, shifted inside my mind…and he saw it all. Saw how the scene shimmered like rippling waves in front of both him and me. Saw how it changed, how I could see it. We could see it.

I was still trying to wrap my head round this impossible, horrid new realisation as Aro turned his wide-eyed gaze up to meet mine – and his expression was utterly enthralled.

I felt like I was coming out of a dream – or nightmare – as Aro began to laugh softly, delightedly.

"That was _fascinating!_"he chuckled, his eyes brighter than ever, practically glowing, face beyond ecstatic as he gazed at me. I shuddered in reply, the movement shaking through my whole body; that thin, skeletal hand was still clawed round mine…

_Small, bare, no secrets, no privacy, ugh, ugh, ugh…_

Painfully, I managed to force a smile back at him.

"I'm glad you enjoyed it."

"To see the things you've seen – especially the ones that haven't happened yet!"

"But that will," I reminded him, carefully. I'd almost completely forgotten the reason for my invitation in the first place. His eyes glittered in delight as he heard me say the very thing he'd foreseen me say through a brief, flickering vision in my mind.

"Yes, yes, it's quite determined," he almost sang. "Certainly, there's no problem."

He gave me one last rapturous smile – and released my hand.

_Finally._

I hid my colossal relief, forcing back the sudden urge to bolt from the room as fast as my legs would carry me. Lowering my eyes quickly to the marble floor, I stepped back and took my place once again by Edward's side – trying not to meet anyone's stare. I could still feel Aro's gaze on me; watching every step, every movement, every look I flittered uneasily around the room to the faces of his thoroughly confused guard…

_No secrets, no privacy, small, bare, all those visions, all he now knew, so many millions upon millions of visions …_

…_ugh…_

It felt like icy water was being trickled down my spine; I was shivering again before I knew it. I stared at the floor and quickly wrapped my arms tight round my chest, curling in on myself to try and seem as small as possible – _Jazz, Jazz, Jazz, I need you, I need you now, now, now…_

"_Aro,_" I heard Caius moan, frustrated.

"Dear Caius," Aro sang, and I could still hear that horrible smile in his elated tone. "Do not fret. Think of the _possibilities_…they do not join us today, but we can always hope for the future. Imagine the joy young Alice alone would bring to our little household..."

I peeped up from my gazing at the floor. Aro's eyes met mine again; bright now with anticipation, hope, desire…a very different kind of hunger from the one he'd stared at Bella with…

…_Edward? Does he always…look through so much whenever he touches someone…I don't know, but that felt like so much, too much…all those visions…_

I glanced at Edward, hoping for a silent response of some sort. His thunderous expression didn't change – but his head jerked infinitesimally to the side; _later_, the gesture said. _Later, when we're alone._

"Besides," Aro continued, as though nothing had passed. "I'm so terribly curious to see how Bella turns out…"

* * *

**Ok, so I guess that quote (see beginning of chapter) kinda went to my head, and another one too (_Aro's never wanted anything more than he wants Alice." – Edward, BD)_. I struggled a ton with this chapter XP trying to make Aro's power original, which is surprisingly difficult...and hard not to make cheesy...anyway. P****oor Alice. Really didn't know what she was getting herself into : ( I just want to get her home and back to Jasper, now…**

**REVIEW and your very own virtual Jasper will climb through your bedroom window tonight, sweep you up in his arms, and carry you away into the moonlight with one long, deep, melting, irresistible kiss…reevvviiiwww…!**


	46. Chapter 20 VERDICT PART 4

**...um...hey everyone?**

***dead ring silence of lost reviewists***

**...oh help...**

**Ok, I know. I know, guys. It's been three months. Maybe even more. All I got to say is: real life has completely taken over. GCSEs simply rule my life (American readers - if you don't know what GCSEs are, don't worry. You don't want to know.) and I have so little time to work on any of my writing, let alone Twilight fanfiction. I'm so sorry. There's nothing I can do about it.**

**For this reason, I'm afraid I also have no idea when my next update will be. Three days, three months? Who knows. **

**Again, I'm so sorry. Thank you to everyone for the continuously lovely, kind, wonderful reviews!**

**On a happier note: I ****know my Jane seems to really loathe Alice, but in Bree Tanner, it says she hates her ten times more than Be****lla (jealousy, Stephenie revealed in one of her latest interviews; Jane actually hoped to kill Alice in Eclipse :O) so…her hatred is justified, I think :D or as justified as anything can be, when it comes to Jane's demented little mind…**

**

* * *

**Caius was looking bitterly disappointed – a feeling he seemed to share with Jane. The rest of the gathered Volturi still all wore identical smooth expressions; unmoving, impossible to read. Most seemed to have stayed to watch simply for something to do.

Beside me, I felt Edward take a deep breath.

"Then…we are free to go?" he questioned in a voice trembling just a little at the edges with barely suppressed hope.

"Yes, yes," Aro sang. I realised I'd been holding my breath – and let it out in gush. _Was he serious? _"But please, visit again. It's been absolutely _enthralling_."

He nodded pointedly in my direction. I looked quickly at the ground, trying to lose myself in a vision; _pacing quickly behind Edward and Bella, out into the dark night, a car, a plane, airport, Jasper…_was this it, then? Was it actually possible we were going to escape this unharmed, despite everything? I could hardly dare to hope…

"And we will visit you as well," Caius's icy voice drifted to me through the scraps of new future. "To be sure that you follow through on your side. Were I you, I would not delay too long. We do not offer second chances."

Edward's teeth clamped together – the sound was uncomfortably loud in the silence of the room – but nodded.

Caius gave both he and Bella one last contemptuous look, then turned and glided swiftly back towards the three thrones, taking his seat by dead-eyed Marcus again.

From across the room, Felix groaned.

"Ah, Felix," Aro chuckled. "Heidi will be here at any moment. Patience."

"Hmm." Edward's voice had a new edge to it. "In that case, perhaps we'd better leave sooner rather than later."

I threw him a questioning look –_ who was Heidi?_ And how was her arrival connected with Felix missing out on an easy snack? At least, I assumed that was what his groan was about…

"Yes, that's a good idea," Aro was agreeing with Edward, his voice less exuberant now; velveteen sweetness again. "Accidents _do _happen."

He eyed Bella then; the same wistful, hungry look that Felix and Demetri had worn before now crossing his face too…hungry…thirsty…

…_thirsty…_

_My hand clasped round Bella's, all three of us exiting the chamber, Demetri close behind us…greeting a tall, stunning, dark-haired woman, "Heidi" and "nice fishing"…and with her…chattering and murmuring…_

…_a chorus of loud, clumsy feet, feet like Bella's…human feet…human voices…human scents…_

…_human _blood…

Oh…_no…_

"…please wait below until after dark, though, if you don't mind," Aro was saying pleasantly to Edward, but I could hardly hear him over the thoughts swarming my brain, the horror, the impossible, hideous,vile, _evil_…all those humans…

Those poor, poor, _poor _humans…

My stomach contorted.

"Of course," Edward's voice cut through my racing thoughts, agreeing with whatever the ancient had instructed him on.

"And here," Aro said, suddenly eager, turning to beckon Felix forward with one finger. He reached behind him, whipped off the smoky grey cloak the guard member wore, and tossed it lightly to Edward. "Take this. You're a little conspicuous."

Edward chuckled without humour – and pulled the cloak on in one swift movement. I forget the humans for a second, taking in his new look doubtfully; grey _really _wasn't his colour…

Aro sighed wistfully. "It suits you."

I scowled. _It doesn't, _I thought reassuringly to Edward. _Don't worry. _

Aro hesitated for a moment…and his gaze moved to rest on me. He looked me up and down, glanced at the large table-cloth like shroud Edward now wore…then at Jane's midnight black – and far smaller – cloak.

I shifted from foot to foot, uncomfortable again – he reminded me horribly of the way I used to scrutinize dresses and Bella in the same way. Jane was looking mutinous.

"Thank you, Aro," Edward spoke up then, effectively putting an end to the ancient's assessments. "We'll wait below."

He glanced fearfully over his shoulders – and I understood why, now. I could hear it too – the faint sound of uneven footsteps and muffled voices, quiet but growing louder with every second, just a passage or two away from this chamber. Of course…Edward would want to get Bella into safety out of the way before she could see, and understand…what was about to happen to those people the footsteps and voices belonged to. My stomach flipped again, and I clenched my jaw tight together, forcing the thoughts away as Aro waved Demetri forward again to lead us out…

"Goodbye," Aro's feathery voice called out as we turned towards the door, Demetri stepping in front to lead us once again…and it was only then that it really hit me for the first time. What Aro had just said, that we were…free…free to go home…

Home…

…_home to Jasper…_

"…goodbye, young friends!" the ancient was still calling, but I hardly heard him.

"Let's go," Edward hissed, close to my ear, and urgent now, his face set as he half-dragged a confused and still white-faced Bella hurriedly across what was left of the room and out the door, me following quickly behind – I didn't want to be present when those humans arrived any more than Edward did – Aro's sugary goodbyes still ringing in our ears…

It was only when I was halfway through the open door – _almost _there, almost out, almost safe – when I paused to glance back once over my shoulder.

The room was still, and silent; every dark red, thirsty eye of the Volturi either staring expressionlessly after us…or beyond us, to the sound of the humans, the burgundy of their gazes bright with anticipation. _Ugh…_

Far across the room, Caius scowled at the floor from his throne, looking thoroughly disgruntled. Beside him, Marcus stared at nothing, his face tilted slightly upwards towards the rounded ceiling, where sunlight still fought to stream down onto the scene through the few glass windows. Chelsea stood by Marcus's side, candyfloss curls rippling over one shoulder…one hand casually resting against the arm of his throne. I wondered vaguely why that was.

Jane stood a little way off, close to her beloved master, still glowering in my direction – though she probably meant the look to be for Bella.

And Aro…Aro was watching me. I met his gaze briefly, warily; he gazed back at me as intently as he had just a few minutes ago with those same fathomless, milky-dark eyes…his expression unreadable.

And the scene shimmered…changed…and I could feel a new vision flickering at the edges of my mind, entirely new, and so blurred…out of focus…a faint maybe…me…_myself…added to the scene of the watching Volturi like someone had stuck a cut-out sticker of me over the whole thing, so wrong and out of place with my gold eyes_,_ standing with a silky little cloak as dark as Jane's draped over my shoulders; Edward's outline faintly visible on my left, Bella's uncertain flicker a little way off, Jasper blinking in and out of sight in a distant haze…Aro's skeletal hand wound round mine…_

_Oh Jazz, Jazz, Jazz, I need you, I really, really need you…_

I took a slow, deep, shuddering breath; trying to calm myself.

I would have to think about this later. But _not yet, _my mind pleaded with itself._ Not now. Not till we're out. Not till we're safe again._

Not till I was home.

Home…and safe with Jasper.

With Aro's eyes still on me, I turned and tripped after Edward and Bella and out of the chamber as fast as my feet would carry me.

_Not fast enough._

I realised that was true almost the instant we were out of the curved-walled chamber – the sounds and scents of the humans were growing stronger, the trampling footsteps, the chorus of what must be over forty voices, some low, anxious murmurs, others loud and overconfident…

Edward's footsteps were growing faster and faster by the second…

"Not fast enough," I murmured out of the corner of my mouth – and it was true. Edward barely had time to shoot me a desperate look before, up ahead, a flood of people rounded the corner – and began to trample towards us.

Demetri sighed, then motioned with one pale hand for us to make room.

I watched blankly, hopelessly, my stomach somersaulting in silent horror, as the humans filed slowly passed us, looking ridiculously clumsy and disorganized after the grace and flow of the Volturi and their ancient leaders. A tall youth with a bald head and his arm round his blonde girlfriend strode along in the very front, both of them glancing interestedly up and around the hall as though surveying an exhibit in a museum…

"Well, _this_ is unusual…" The sound came from the centre of the group; slightly nervous, trembling at the edges, a small lady with half-eaten chocolate bar in one hand, and a camera in the other…

"So _medieval_," another said shrilly from further back, their voice muffled by the cheap looking Italian-phrase book they held like a shield up in front of them, hiding their face from view – several others held similar books and pamphlets, some of which they were flicking through with confused expressions, glancing uncertainly round at the stone walls and floors, as though the story that had led them here wasn't entirely making sense anymore…

"Welcome, friends!" I could hear Aro's bright, lilting voice sing from the chamber we had just escape from, warm with deadly reassurance. "…welcome to Volterra…!"

From beside me, Bella's heart skipped a beat. She must have realized what all this was about, where these humans were headed for, how it was all about to end for them…

I felt suddenly sick.

And then in front of me, a young couple moved aside, revealing two much smaller figures skipping along just behind them…two little children, barely older than infants, their round faces smiling and entirely oblivious to what was happening around them as they clasped chubby hands together in a mini thumb-war game, their giggles ringing round the hall and mingling with Aro's lilting voice as they entered the black-walled chamber we had just escaped…

I closed my eyes.

I couldn't watch anymore.

A minute or so passed before Edward's arm began to tug sharply on my shoulder again. Taking a deep breath, I swallowed hard, once, to dislodge the lump that had collected in my throat…and let my eyes drift open, as Demetri led us forward, through a gap in the slowing flow of humans and down the remainder of the hallway, pausing only when a final – immortal – person rounded the corner.

"Welcome home, Heidi," he murmured in his smooth voice – smiling as the stunningly dressed woman glided passed us with a few swift footsteps, high heels tapping against the floor, mahogany locks flowing out in a river of chocolate behind her.

"Demetri," she greeted him silkily, her eyes sweeping with faint curiosity over Edward and Bella…who had tears pooling in her horror-struck, bloodshot eyes. I couldn't blame her.

_Oh Bella, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, if only I'd planned ahead, so you didn't have to watch that…I'm sorry…_

"Nice fishing," Demetri was complementing Heidi, with a satisfied nod at the tourists still filing dutifully through the open door and into the chamber.

"Thanks." She flashed a dazzling smile. "Aren't you coming?"

"In a minute. Save a few for me."

She nodded, then ducked through the door with one last curious look at Bella…slamming it shut behind her. I heard a key turn in a lock, followed by two sets of bolts.

_No escape. No escape for anyone._

And then Edward's hand was clamped round my elbow, dragging me into a run down the remainder of the hallway, Bella crushed against his other side, his face chiselled from ice as we sped faster and faster, and I knew what he was trying to do, what he was trying to run from, get us away fast enough…

But I already knew it was no use.

We didn't even make it to the end of the hall before the screaming started.


	47. Chapter 21 FLIGHT PART 1

…**hi?**

***deafening silence***

…**erm...yeah…so…anyone still interested in reading this story after I disappeared under a glorious mound of schoolwork, discovered 'Wicked' the musical fanfiction, and abandoned you all for months on end? **

***crickets cheap***

**Ah. Right. Oh dear. Well…here's another chapter, in case by some miracle anyone out there's still reading…**

* * *

"Do not leave until dark," Demetri's velvet smooth voice warned upon entering the receptionist's room again – still complete with the same white leather sofas and sickly smelling flowers I remembered from before. Bright, harmless music tinkled from hidden speakers; the sound mingled sickeningly with the continuing screams of the dying humans ringing from behind us.

It seemed like an eternity ago that we'd traipsed through here last to enter the room we'd just left – just escaped from – only this time, led by tall, beautiful Demetri, not perfect, smirking little Jane. My head ached from visions, temples throbbing fit to burst; I'd been through so much, so many millions of premonitions and scenes – or, I suppose, had them sorted and sifted through against my will – and now, my brain had just about given up. My body, never able to really tire, was longing to just sink into an armchair, a bed, someone's warm, comforting arms…

One pair of arms in particular…

Demetri cast one last, bemused look over Edward, Bella and me, – then turned and darted from the room, in the direction of the screaming. I could hear other sounds now, too, I realized – hideous, stomach-churning things I didn't want to focus on, every member of the guard feeding, every one of those forty men, women, and children's bodies slowly drained from…

My stomach convulsed for the thousandth time.

"Alice," Edward's voice was at my ear, too low for Bella to understand. "Are we all right? What do you see -?"

He cut off abruptly, eyes flashing back to Bella at the same time mine did as a choked little sob broke through her lips – her face, now I focussed on it properly for the first time, was contorted, her whole body trembling, shaking from head to toe…

_Oh Bella… _

This was all myfault – if I'd just been sensible enough to search ahead earlier, then we could have planned ahead, made it so she wouldn't have to watch…!

"Are you all right?" Edward was asking her anxiously, velvet voice oddly rough.

"You'd better make her sit before she falls," I murmured – and my voice sounded odd too, strained and far away, dream-like, almost as though it were somebody else speaking. "She's going to pieces."

_State the obvious. _Bella swayed alarmingly, almost falling over – I reached to slip a supporting arm round her waist, but Edward batted my hand away, his own arms gathering her up and sweeping her across the room to another couch, as far away from the sound of the screams as possible.

"Shh, Bella," he whispered under his breath as she whimpered, sinking down onto the snowy leather cushions. I followed suit, perching awkwardly beside them. From down the corridor, sounds I couldn't stand to listen to still rang loud and clear. I pressed my eyes shut; furiously trying to pretend to myself that I couldn't hear the shrieks and cries, the humans being slaughtered…

Worst of all…I could smell the blood, too, now. Warm, sweet, fresh – ugh, it smelled so _good_. And I knew Edward had caught it, too. His body was curled in on itself, ridged, his eyes pressed shut, face buried deep in Bella's hair to disguise the scent. I bit my lip.

_That's probably not the best idea, Edward, she smells pretty good too, especially when you're thirsty – believe me, I know…_

"Shh," he murmured, but whether to me or Bella, I didn't know. "It's all right, you're safe, now, it's all right…"  
He chanted the words over and over, sounding like a stuck record, but it didn't help. Bella only sobbed harder, even louder, almost wailing.

"I think she's having hysterics," I spoke up, suddenly remembering the time a few decades or so ago when Carlisle had explained the symptoms to me. "Maybe you should slap her."

Edward shot me a withering look. "_Not helping, Alice,_" he growled under his breath, low enough so as Bella couldn't hear.

_Just a suggestion, _I mumbled mentally back. He ignored me, tucking his grey cloak around Bella's trembling body and swaddling her against him – then turning away so I couldn't see her face.

_Hm._

I sighed quietly – but didn't try and press him. I did understand, really. This was their moment – I shouldn't interrupt it, not now, not when he hadn't seen her for almost six months, after all…_six months…_

The idea of being separated from Jasper for any longer than five minutes after what we'd been through these past days was beyond unbearable. My chest ached and throbbed with longing at the mere thought._ Jasper, _I moaned inwardly, for the hundredth time, _Jasper, Jasper, Jasper…_

If only I hadn't dumped my phone along with the rest of our bags when I'd dumped the Porsche. I'd hidden them behind a dustbin…surely they'd still be there, now? Maybe if I was careful and didn't let anyone see me, Aro might let us – let _me _– run and fetch them, my phone was in the back pocket, and if I had the phone…

_If I could call Jasper…_

The ache in my chest pounded and burned at the thought – but Edward, glancing back over his shoulder at me, shook his head darkly…and I was sensible enough, _this_ time, to know he meant it.

Bella was still whimpering.

"All…those…people…" she choked, barely audible even in the near-silence – even though humans' screams were subsiding now, along with her sobs.

"I know," Edward murmured, voice dead of emotion – but his eyes were dark with fresh fury. I knew exactly how he felt.

"It's so…_horrible…_"

"Yes. I wish you hadn't had to see that."

_Me too, _I murmured, but only mentally. I wasn't going to interrupt them again. Bella would probably be happier if she could forget I was here, anyway.

Across the room, however, the receptionist – Gianna – didn't seem to be feeling quite so considerate, and had stepped out from behind her desk. I sighed in annoyance as she began to tap towards us, emerald eyes on Edward.

"Is there anything I can get you?"

_Yes, _I groaned, directing the words at Edward. _A phone!_

He frowned at me, shaking his head again, then turned to the woman.

"No," he answered, coldly, making no attempt at politeness. She nodded, smiled once at Bella, then turned and paced back to her desk, disappearing behind it.

_How could she sit there and listen to all those innocent people being slaughtered, day after day, week after week, month after month…?_

I stared at her in a kind of horrified wonder. _How could she…? How could she _stand _it…?_

Beside me, Bella was speaking again – this time in a low whisper.

"Does she…_know…_what's going on here?"

"Yes," Edward answered, just as quietly, and there was a dark edge to his voice now – I wondered warily what things he'd been reading from Gianna's mind. "She knows everything."

"Does she know they're going to kill her someday?"

"She knows it's a possibility. She's hoping they'll decide to keep her."  
Bella paled – the little colour that was left in her bone-thin face vanishing completely. "She wants to be one of…_them?_"

He nodded darkly, his eyes very careful as he watched her reaction.

"How can she want _that?_" Bella was whispering, with the same horror and bewilderment I'd felt just seconds ago. "How can she watch those people file through to that hideous room and want to be a part of…_that…?_"

…that…

…_that…_

_Airport, a car coloured red…Jasper…shifting, broken shards of new future…Jasper…_

_Frantically, desperately, I fought to keep the picture together, to not let the sight slip away before I could run my eyes over every inch of him, blurred as he was in the uncertain vision; his dark, pure onyx eyes, his honey locks of hair, his thought-scramblingly beautiful face…his ravaged expression, crazed with worry…_

_Oh Jazz, Jazz, Jazz…_

_The clock, any way to tell the time…I pushed ahead, focussing; Jasper sitting in a grey plastic chair with Carlisle by his side, the airport reception, the huge clock positioned high on the wall, the hands, the number…the time…_

_Just under twenty-four hours away…_

"…what's wrong, Bella?"

"Is it…really sick for me to be happy right now?"

I heard Edward sigh quietly. "I know exactly what you mean. But we have lots of reasons to be happy – for one, we're alive…"

"Yes, that's a good one…."

"And together. And, with any luck, we'll still be alive tomorrow…"

I blinked when I heard that – it was almost physically painful to push the sight of Jasper away, but I forced myself to all the same – focussing back on Edward and Bella, wrapped around each other across the sofa from me.

"Hopefully," Bella was murmuring against Edward's shoulder, in answer to his words.

"The outlook is quite good," I murmured, half to myself – not wanting to interrupt them, but still, this wasn't something Edward was too likely to mind me interrupting with. I couldn't keep the private, strained little half-smile out of my tone – less than a _day_ away, and we'd be together again, there at the airport…

"…I'll see Jasper in twenty four hours."

Edward shot me a small, rather pitying smile – and I couldn't help grinning back. The expression was strange– it felt like a million years since I'd used it. And so wrong…so trivial, selfish, almost, when less than a room away so many people had just lost their lives…

…although, the meal did seem to be over now. The smell of fresh blood, still making my throat cry out in longing – _stop it, stop it, stop it! – _was fading, little by little, and the voices – the musical lilts of immortals, mingled with the feathery sighs of the ancients – now sounding louder, brighter, more cheerful than before…satisfied.

I was starting to feel sick again – and swallowed hard, turning my attention back to Edward and Bella's conversation.

"You look tired," my brother was murmuring quietly, to Bella.

"And you look thirsty."

_I'll say, _I thought ruefully.

"It's nothing," he insisted – whether to me, or Bella, I didn't know. I was so out of practise with our usually effortless connections.

"Are you sure?" she questioned, suddenly anxious. "I could sit with Alice…"

"Don't be ridiculous," Edward sighed softly. "I've never been in better control of _that _side of my nature than right now…"

Minutes passed in silence between us all. Bella did seem to be beginning to calm down, though; gradually, her ragged breathing began to slow; her hiccoughs and sniffs to subside, her heartbeat to thump back into its regular pace. She heaved a last, deep sigh…and then sank back against Edward, her eyes fluttering closed. But though her body relaxed, her heartbeat slowing even further…her arms, twined round his neck, didn't loosen in the slightest. She clung to him like she was planning to never let go.

_Oh Bella_…

Edward's eyes closed too, then – but only for a moment. I could see his decisions flickering now Bella was calmed down; all the things he wanted to say, the emotions he couldn't describe, the half-formed questions and reluctant thanks he was wondering about giving me…

I smiled slightly to myself. Well, at least he was _thinking _about it. Better than nothing. Better than what I'd expected for being the start of all of this, me and my stupid, mutt-muddled visions. At least – as far as I could see, and the future was pretty clear – he wasn't planning to rip my head off or tear me to pieces for the mess I'd created...yet. Hm. Maybe if I was lucky, he'd hold it all back till we got home. Till I could hide behind Jasper, at the very least…

…oh Jasper…

_Just less than a day left, and I would see him_, I tried to remind myself, but somehow, that didn't seem to make any difference. It still couldn't numb the ache that throbbed, pounded deep in my chest with the absence of him. My hands clasped and unclasped themselves together uselessly, longing for his touch, for his rough, scarred hand to be round mine again, warm and gentle, but still as tight and protective as always…

The memory of the last hand that had wrapped around mine with that very same tightness and intensity as Jasper's – the cold, skeletal, bone-thin one – played at the edges of my mind. I shuddered. Ugh,I just wanted to forget it all. That whole mess of visions and memories and power and fear and humiliation from all those secrets, private moments, thoughts I'd never wanted anyone to know as long as I lived…

Why oh _why _had I been so stupid, _why_ hadn't I listened to Edward…?

At least it had worked out in the end, I reminded myself. And Bella was safe. We all were. That was the most important thing.

I tucked my knees up onto the sofa, holding them against my chest and resting my chin on them. Yes, there were good things which had come out of this. Like the fact that Bella would have months, _years _now, to make her final decision, and I'd be ready and prepared when she did. I'd ask Carlisle for help, I decided, for instructions on how to go about it, and maybe even Edward himself would have some advice for me…there was no point in hiding the plan from him now…

And that was good, too. That Edward knew. No secrets, everything out in the open. And he'd have to accept that it was necessary for me to return to Forks, now, that I _couldn't _just stay away from my friend for his sake, I had to go back at least a few times, and once most definitely, for the transformation…except…

Except of course, Edward was coming back home now, with us, wasn't he? Wasn't he?  
_Wasn't he…?_

The future drifted, hazed, mushed… no, it was impossible to tell the outcome, nothing was concrete, nothing decided yet…

But he couldn't. He _couldn't,_ I thought desperately, mind blank with horror at the thought – after all this, after everything we'd been through together! Hadn't the last few months proved anything to him? Hadn't my thoughts – the scenes I'd shown him, intentionally or not, of what I'd found left of Bella upon returning to Forks three days ago – taught him _anything_…?

I flopped back on the couch, eyes closing as I rested my head against the snowy leather of the sofa. This was impossible. There was only one thing for it – to ask Edward himself.

I glanced uncomfortably across the sofa at my brother, still wary of disturbing his moment alone with Bella. His lips were still buried in her mop of mussed-up hair, but his onyx eyes met mine over the top of Bella's head.

A horribly awkward silence fell between us.

_Bother_. It'd been so long since I'd spoken to him, even over the phone; weeks…_months…_

I took a deep breath. Then…

"Edward –"

"Alice –"

_Bother – _

"You first," he interrupted, smiling his perfect, gentle, familiar smile – the expression was so unexpected, so unlike any I'd seen him wear for the past months that I could only stare…_wow. _To see him smile again, though rather strained, just to see him look like that, so…simply…_happy. _I felt my own lips twitch into their own tentative grin at the sight. He smiled back at me, eyes lighting despite their colour…

…his eyes were so _dark, _I thought worriedly, not for the first time. So utterly, unfathomably pitch black, pure onyx, empty graves. The bruises underneath were awful just to look at, thick and wide, harsh grey, like someone had punched him in the eye over and over, like he hadn't slept for weeks…

"You look awful," I murmured, not unkindly – more concerned than anything else. Edward rolled his eyes.

"Thanks, sis," he said, sarcastically.

I grinned. "You know what I mean – _thirsty. _Just look at yourself, you must be starving! When was the last time you hunted?"

"Too long," he sighed, grimacing into Bella's hair – and then he glanced up at me with a sudden, teasing half-smile.

"You don't look so great yourself, I must say."  
My turn to grimace. I reached behind me for my bag, intending to find my little fold-out mirror – realized both bag and mirror were still hidden behind a stack of dustbins in the city far above us – and shuffled round to peer instead into the glass of the vase perched on the table beside the sofa…bracing myself.

Oh…_help…_

I looked _terrible. _Sandy smears of Volterra's dusty dirt had turned my white top a dull sort of beige, torn on one sleeve, with my jacket hanging limp half-off my shoulders. My jeans were stained beyond recognition – I'd _liked _those jeans! – my hair sticking up in every direction, sanded and thoroughly in need of a good wash, the worst it had ever been.

I moaned quietly – making Edward chuckle.

"I must say it's exceedingly odd to read your thoughts and understand I'm seeing Alice Cullen wearing the same outfit _three days_ _in a row_…"

"Ugh,don't remind me!" I groaned, fiddling with a knotted strand of midnight black hair – how could hair as short as mine get _tangled_, for goodness' sake…? "I can't believe it…_three days…_"

"You smell rather strange, too, I'm afraid," he went on, sympathetically, a note of faint wariness entering his voice for the first time. "A whole mixture of things, things I haven't smelled in…too long. Bella, Charlie…and is that…_oriano leather_…?"

"I stole a car," I admitted, not meeting his gaze, and trying hard to keep the smug note out of my voice – I knew he wouldn't approve. Edward never had. "A Porsche. 911 turbo. Yellow."

I grinned at the memory. "It was_ gorgeous._"

Edward chuckled under his breath. "I'll bet it was. A _Porsche…_honestly, of all cars…"

He looked steadily at me, eyes less humorous now, more wistful. "I've missed you, Alice."

I stared at my feet, unable to meet his gaze.

"I've missed you too," I murmured, and it was true. "We all have. You've no idea…"

"Don't let's talk about that now," he murmured fervently, shaking his head. "None of it matters anymore. It's over."

My head snapped up at that. Did he mean it…? Was it really all over, all over in the way I thought, in the way I was hoping so much…?

"You're coming back," I murmured, hardly daring to make the words a statement rather than question. He met my gaze with a small, sad smile.

"Yes…I'm coming back. For better or for worse – even now, I'm not so sure. But yes…I'm coming back, Alice."

That was it. Before I'd even made up my mind what to do, I had thrown myself forward, arms clutching around my brother's neck to crush him against me as tight as I could, burying my face in his shoulder, smile so huge it felt like it was going to split my face in half…

…_I'm coming back, Alice, coming back…coming back…_

He laughed quietly against my own shoulder, embracing me back gently.

"I really have missed you. All of you – Carlisle and Esme, Emmett and Jasper…even Rosalie, to some extent."

I frowned at that, fists clenching as I thought of Rose, the last time I'd spoken to her…all the trouble she had caused. _I _had caused. We had caused together.

"It's not your fault, Alice," Edward murmured in response to that thought, mussing my already ruined hair affectionately with one hand. I batted it away, growling and patting my black spikes back into place as neatly as I could. He chuckled again – but stopped abruptly, his whole body going suddenly very still.

"Edward? What's up?"

"Another scent," he said, and all humour was gone from his voice now. "Your hair. Is that…dog…?"

My turn to stiffen. _Bother. Stupid mutts._

Edward drew back at that to frown at me, his face suspicious, now.

"That's what it is? The werewolves?"

"Jacob Black," I muttered, low and disgruntled. "Yup. We had an…um…argument. A bit more than an argument, actually."

Silence.

Edward's face was unreadable; smooth as marble, perfectly calm and collected as he read the thoughts I was struggling so desperately to keep hidden from him; Jacob Black snarling at me on the stairs, his huge arms tight around Bella, his disgusting scent mugging the air, the way every vision blanked out to nothing when he was around…when _any_ of them were around…

When Edward spoke again, his voice was deadly serious.

"Tell me everything, Alice. Everything I've missed in the past three days. Everything you saw, everything you and Bella did, everything about the werewolves, about Jacob. And let me see it, too. Show me, and tell me…start at the beginning."

* * *

**Reviews always make my day. I'm sorry, I can't promise when the next chapter will be up, but rest assured, I am fully intending on finishing this story…someday. If only to get Alice back to poor Jasper…**


	48. Chapter 21 FLIGHT PART 2

**Thank you to everyone for all the lovely reviews! They mean the world to me. Once again, I'm afraid I can't say exactly when the next chapter will be up - five weeks till GCSEs, so schoolwork still rules my life! - but I've already drafted it, so I'm hoping...maybe I'll put it up on my 16th birthday, this April 27th? We'll see. Thank you again, and enjoy...**

* * *

"_Show me. Tell me. Start at the beginning."_

And that was exactly what I did.

It took almost a whole hour for me to explain to Edward every detail of what had happened in the past three days, from that first vision of thatcliff dive, right down to the moment before Bella had thrown herself into his arms outside the bell tower, whilst I wound my way desperately through the back alleys of Volterra to reach them both before the Volturi did.

Edward stayed calm and silent for most of the story – interrupting only occasionally to ask a question, to chuckle at my growled explanations of why I couldn't see past mutts, hiss under his breath as I told him about Jacob Black…about how impossibly close he and Bella had become in our absence…

…how…as much as I hated this horrible, alien new power he and his friends had acquired over my visions…I had to admit, he wasn't as bad as I'd first thought he was. That maybe…maybe…it might even be a good thing that he and Bella had become such close friends, that the wolves harboured no enmity towards her at all, that Jacob had smoothed things over there; that they'd all been protecting her just as hard as they could from Victoria, whilst we'd been away…

We owed the wolves, no matter what anyone said, no matter how easy it would be to hate them, to ignore what they'd done for us. We owed them big time.

* * *

The rest of the day passed quickly, quicker than I'd expected. Edward told me a bit about his failed tracking of Victoria, and his brief – and pretty uneventful – exploits in South America. We discussed how on earth we were going to manage to get flights home at this short notice, and ended up opting for bribery – I'd given nearly all my money to the guard at Volterra's gates, but I had my credit card, so if I could just find my and Bella's bags again, we'd be ok.

"We'll need another car, though, won't we?" I'd piped up hopefully when we'd finished finalizing the plane travel side of things. Edward frowned, bronze eyebrows knitting over eyes still the colour of slick black oil.

"I'm really not sure any more car theft is going to be necessary, Alice..."

"_Please_?" I pleaded, putting on my best, most heartbreaking pout. "Volterra's way too far away from Florence for us to run – the roads are all open countryside, too, so there's an even bigger risk that someone will see us. And anyway…a car would be better for Bella, wouldn't it?"

Edward's frown deepened, whilst I smiled triumphantly at my faultless logic – he knew he was cornered. Anything that would make getting home easier for Bella, he couldn't turn down…

"Fine," he sighed eventually, defeated "You run on ahead when they let us out of here, get us a car, and meet us outside the gates. A nice _normal _car, Alice, a Peugeot or a Honda or something. No more Porsches."

_Bother. _I pouted again, dissatisfied. "Why…?"

"You _know _why, Alice. The answer's no. Don't push it, sis."

We argued playfully on the subject of cars for a while – before I remembered something I'd wanted to ask him back in the chamber, about Aro's Italian words on Bella. _Singers _or something…

"What was all that about singers?" I asked Edward, almost as warily as curiously; after all, it could have meant anything. Edward had always had a gift for languages, and he'd taken almost as much Italian as Carlisle – but I'd never studied it enough.

"_La tua cantante,_" Edward murmured, his voice accenting the words to perfection, soft and lilting – an imitation of Aro's voice that was almost too perfect.

"Yes, that," I said, quickly, and then mentally, _what does it mean? And what does it have to do with Bella…?_

Edward shrugged, as though the meaning was less of a big deal than I seemed to think it was. "They have a name for someone who smells the way Bella does to me. They call her my _singer _– because her blood _sings_ to me."

I laughed at that – and Edward smiled. The receptionist, Gianna, shot me a dirty look – making me quickly smother my giggles with one hand. _Idiot, Alice. Now you're going to offend them, get us into even more trouble, and we're so close to getting out…_

We were close. Closer than I'd ever have expected. It seemed like less than an hour or so later when far away, down the corridor that led to the death chamber we'd just escaped from, came the creaking sound of a door opening and closing, followed by quick footsteps.

Edward and I fell instantly silent – Edward stiffening, his arms constricting around the still half-drowsing Bella automatically, whilst I flitted uneasily between present and future, preparing myself for whatever was coming.

But when the figure finally rounded the corner and came into view, it was only little Alec, his pale grey suit still crisp and spotless as ever, despite the afternoon feast. His eyes were now flaming scarlet – a sickening reminder – and his full lips were curved up in a smile.

"You're free to leave now," he murmured from across the room from us, his tone surprisingly warm, but I knew better than to trust it. "We ask that you don't linger in the city."

_Except to steal a car…right Edward?_ I thought hopefully in my brother's direction, and received a silencing frown from him in return.

"That won't be a problem," he replied stiffly to Alec, his eyes as cold as ever as they rested on the small boy – but he only smiled mildly, nodded once, and turned to dart back down the corridor from which he'd come.

I jumped up from the sofa, eager to get going, now. Together, all three of us, Edward supporting Bella with my help, headed for the door through which we'd come through so many hours ago it seemed, now.

Gianna glanced up as we passed, smiling widely.

"Follow the right hallway around the corner to the first set of elevators," she trilled, ignoring Edward's returned stony-face. "The lobby is two floors down, and exits to the street. Goodbye, now!"

Her voice was too high, too bright, like a candy floss seller at a fair – yet somehow flat too, mechanical, as she reeled off the directions. All empty soap bubbles, sweetness…like the laughter of those two little children, following innocently behind their parents as they were led into that terrible room where they would witness horrors no child should ever have to face, not ever, where they would be murdered like every other one of those humans…

I clenched my fists, stomach flipping again. Gianna's bright, smiling eyes met mine – but I couldn't have smiled back for all the yellow Porsches in Italy.

Yes…a candyfloss seller who wished to join this coven of murderers, join _that_, be _that, _who obviously, impossibly, had no problem watching thousands file past her to meet their deaths day in, day out…

Before, I'd felt only pity for her.

Now, I suddenly wanted to slap her.

* * *

Edward's hand was abruptly twined round mine. I hardly noticed as, still supporting Bella with one arm, he pulled me quickly along past the desk, out of the pale, sickly-smelling reception room, and down the new exit corridor Gianna had directed us to.

"Forget it, Alice," he murmured, low against my ear so Bella couldn't hear. "There's nothing we can do. Forget it. Come on. Let's get out of here."

I nodded, and shook myself, trying to focus.

_Sorry. _

He squeezed my hand reassuringly, pulling me faster as we continued to move down the dimly-lit exit corridor.

_There's just…one thing I want to check…_

"Don't," he murmured, seeing what I wanted to do even before I'd finished thinking it – but I plunged ahead anyway, drifting my eyes shut, searching, pushing my way into Gianna's distant haze of future…

"– Alice –"

…I resurfaced as quickly as I sank. No. No, her fate was as horribly crystal clear and firmly set as Caius's words had been back in the death chamber. _'When they are no longer useful, they will serve to sustain us'…_

No…no, I couldn't even hate her, not really, for whatever madness must have intercepted her mind to allow her to sit tight and watch all those humans die one by one, group by group, meal by meal, day in, day out…

One day soon, very soon, so horribly, horribly soon, she would join them.

_Poor girl, _I thought, over and over, trailing behind Edward and Bella through passageways and luxurious rooms back towards the exit and crowded streets of Volterra we'd torn through so many hours before. _Poor, poor, poor girl, to think they would keep her, to think she wouldn't die at their hands like every one had before her…_

_Poor Gianna. _

* * *

Back up in the streets of Volterra again – _free, free, free! _I kept chanting to myself, over and over, feeling like cheering that we were finally out and on our way home again – Edward's grey cloak didn't stand out quite as much as it might have on any night other than St. Marcus's. As we made our way back through the darkened city, it became apparent very quickly that his wasn't the only cloak being worn that evening – they were everywhere, cloaks and robes too of all kinds, in all shades of red and black and grey, as were many of the plastic vampire fangs I'd seen on a couple of children earlier.

_Ridiculous, _I thought, rolling my eyes.

"Ridiculous,"agreed Edward, next to me, and even Bella, eyes blinking blearily around at the sights and sounds of night time Volterra, smiled a bit too. I squeezed her hand encouragingly – _we'll be out of here soon, Bella, really soon, I promise, we'll get you home safe…_

A car engine revved to our right, making her jump. I looked to see a red BMW pulling out of an alleyway, accelerating fast as it turned onto the supposedly still-closed streets with a _vrroomm_...

I glanced at Edward hopefully.

He rolled his eyes, but nodded all the same, and turned to gently guide Bella towards the alleyway the car had just pulled out from. He hadn't let go of her once since Jane's futile attack, I realised.

"Be quick about it," he muttered in my ear as he passed, too low and fast again for Bella to hear. "Remember to fetch those bags. We'll meet you by the gates in twenty minutes. And be _careful,_ Alice – at least leave your poor victim a wad of cash, or something…"

"Will do," I sang, grinning, then darted away from them both back across the darkened square, concentrating hard on following Bella's scent leftover from this morning.

* * *

It took me less than a minute to find our bags, safe and sound, still stashed away in the shadows behind the dustbins. I got some money out, then set off on my car-hunt, beginning with the biggest – and mostly empty – car parks we'd passed on the way into Volterra, though, sadly, the BMW was long gone...

…and after almost fifteen minutes of searching, it honestly seemed like every other half-way decent car was long gone with it. I stood in the centre of a dark, ghostly silent shopping square, hands on hips, glaring at the empty parking spaces, then grabbed the handle of a small, _brown_ mini. Sigh. Of all colours. It was parked dreadfully, wheels half up on the pavement, encrusted with grime; obviously ancient and the complete and total opposite of the fabulous car I'd zoomed gloriously along in with Bella earlier.

The happy memories of the Porsche cheered me up a little as I sputtered along at an infuriatingly slow pace in the little car, which protested loudly whenever I tried to get it over sixty. I drew up outside Volterra's main gates, and sank back in my torn and dirty seat to wait for Edward and Bella, wondering dejectedly how long it would take us to get to the airport in this piece of junk…

"I'm sorry," I sighed to my brother when he and Bella showed up a few minutes later. "There wasn't much to choose from".

_And not a single Porsche in sight, _I added grudgingly in my head.

"It's fine, Alice," Edward smiled – of course, he would be all too pleased I hadn't been able to deprive any poor Italian of his expensive new car, but this piece of scrap metal instead. "They can't all be 911 turbos."

_A 911 turbo…_

I sighed longingly at the name, remembering the rush and glamour of the Porsche. The leather seats. The perfect, smooth little _purr _of the engine…

"I may have to acquire one of those legally," I said aloud, trying to keep the dreamy note out of my voice – Edward was looking amused. "It was _fabulous_."

"I'll get you one for Christmas," my brother murmured, making me turn to beam at him in surprise and delight through the dark.

"Yellow," I said, in case he hadn't remembered. _Gorgeous, bright, sunshine_ _yellow_, I thought, lovingly. Flashy, super-fast, and yellow_..._what would Emmett think of _that?_ I grinned at the thought.

Thoughts of my lovely Porsche helped to pass a good part of the journey from Volterra to the airport. Bella was unwaveringly stubborn – refusing to get some sleep, though it was late evening by the time we finally reached Florence. I parked the car in a dark side alley – this country was just overflowing with them – and jumped out first, holding the door open for Edward so he could keep hold of Bella as she climbed out. She gazed briefly at me; bleary-eyed, but determinedly still awake, still nestled close against Edward under his cloak, head resting against his bare chest…

…his _bare _chest…

Hm. That wouldn't do.

I glanced quickly round the street. A fish and chip shop, a closed-down laundrette…and a small clothes shop, impossibly still open, down at the far end of the road…

_Shopping…_

I caught Edward's eye hopefully. He rolled both of his exasperatedly back at me.

"Alice…"

"There's just no way you can walk into the airport like that," I interjected in a swift whisper, "St. Marcus day or no St. Marcus day."

_And it looks all wrong on you, _I added in an uncomfortable mental mumble._ I don't like it, Edward. Please, just let me buy you something normal – I'll only be a second, I promise!_

He sighed, rolling his eyes again – but then nodded.

"I'll get rid of the cloak, and take Bella to the bathroom. Meet us in the lobby."

He turned towards the alley, beginning to undo the fastenings on his smoky shroud one-handed, Bella still curled sleepily against his side. She caught my eye questioningly; I gave her a brief, reassuring smile, then turned and set off towards the shop.

* * *

**Reviews are better than Easter eggs!**


	49. Chapter 21 FLIGHT PART 3

**Ceiling high pile of exam revision = late update. I'm so sorry, everyone.**** Now, we've got a bit of airplane conversation, and then she's finally back with Jasper! Yay! Shout out to anyone who's stuck with her and me this long, all the way to Volterra and back – you've been unbelievably patient!**

**And…happy sixteenth birthday to me, in case anyone's interested :D**

* * *

They didn't have much in the cheap little store. I flicked through the shirts rack – trying hard to ignore the awed gaze of the male assistant at the counter. He obviously hadn't dealt with vampires before. Poor guy.

After several minutes of browsing, I picked out a gorgeous royal blue-coloured long-sleeved shirt. It had small black buttons, and intricate stitching round the collar. _Perfect._

* * *

Bella somehow managed to keep awake for the entire plane journey from Florence to Rome. I was amazed she hadn't collapsed yet from total exhaustion – and she was _still_ awake when we boarded our plane for Atlanta, blinking furiously against her drooping lids. This plane was more crowded than the last – Edward and Bella took seats together, while I took one in the row behind them. The instant the plane took off, I pulled out my phone.

_Jasper. _

I'd wanted to scream when the first plane we'd boarded had announced upon take off that the use of mobile phones was prohibited. It had been torture enough waiting this long to speak to him again – now, I honestly didn't care whether my phone would be allowed or not. Jasper's number was dialled before I finished thinking the name; my fingers punched the numbers too hard, splintering the plastic, but that didn't matter – nothing mattered now, nothing, but speaking to him, hearing his voice again, the ring starting in my ear, _once, twice, three times…_

"Hello? Alice? Who is this? Hello…?"

His voice…hearing his voice…urgent, desperate, and fraught with worry, but still utterly, undeniably one-hundred percent Jasper…

_Jasper…_

"Jazz…" I heard myself whispering, felt my lips moving round his name. "Oh Jazz, Jazz, Jazz…

"_Alice?_"

"It's me, Jazz," I whispered, struggling to keep my voice from trembling, from sagging with relief, with love, with the reverence of being able to say his name and know he could hear it – speak to him, and hear him speak back. "It's me."

"_Alice…_"

"Jasper…"

Neither of us spoke for several moments. Silence stretched; stretched as we both struggled to take in the realisation, the comprehension that we were safe, alive – _together,_ in the closest way we could be, speaking to one another…I listened to his soft, ragged breathing, imagining him clutching the phone to his ear, seeing his dark amber eyes, his unkempt honey-coloured hair…

…_Jasper…_

Then, finally, he spoke.

"You're alive. You got _out_," he breathed, the words a half-statement, half-question. "I don't believe it. Oh Alice, love, I was so worried…" He laughed briefly, bitterly. "_Worried._ There's the understatement of the century. Of _many_ centuries."

He continued on, fast, his words blurring together, tumbling over one another, as though he thought I might disappear again at any moment. "More like paranoid,_ frantic – _thought I was going insane, I couldn't sit still, I drove Rosalie mad, I couldn't stop moving, jittering about, couldn't _bare_ it, not knowing, knowing if I would even see you again, and Emmett kept saying not to worry, the idiot, I felt just hideous, _hideous_ sitting at home, safe and sound whilst you were facing goodness knows what _without me_ to protect you from –!"

"_Jazz,_"I interrupted his frantic steam of words. "Don't, it's ok, I'm fine, I'm safe, I'm all right…!"

"Alice, you have to tell me everything, _everything _that happened – did they really just let you go? And _Bella_! What did they think of B –?"

"_Jazz_. Shh, please. It's ok…I'll tell you everything…"

In truth, I had loved every second of his panicky sentences. Not that I'd listened very hard to the actual words – just enjoyed the sound of his voice; low, smooth, beautiful, southern accent inflecting a few words here and there…the most wonderful sound on the planet.

_Oh Jazz, I love you, I love you, I love you…_

* * *

I told him everything. From the moment Bella had tumbled, sobbing, into my arms from the doorway of her house, right up the blue shirt I'd bought for Edward from the tiny clothes store. It had suited him perfectly, just as I'd thought – I'd made a mental note to myself to buy him royal blue stuff more often, the colour looked _fantastic_ on him. It definitely called for another shopping trip, just as soon as we were home…

Jasper, unlike Edward, interrupted constantly throughout my story to comment, to question, to demand more information. I could almost see him rolling his shadowy gold eyes at my explanation for Bella's cliff diving 'sport', could almost imagine how his fists would clench as I told of Jane torturing Edward – and I heard his hiss easily through the phone, as I explained about Aro's praising of Edward's talent, of mine, and of his offer to us to join him – and about that bright, far-off vision of Bella as a scarlet-eyed newborn vampire, that I'd shown Aro.

I was careful not to let him know about the other visions – those millions upon millions of others, piles upon piles of memories, of thoughts and feelings and wants and fears and all else besides…of the fact that the master of the Volturi now probably knew me better than any other person on the planet…

That thought frightened me much more than I could ever let Jasper know.

"I can't believe Edward let them take you down there…" Jasper was growling, an incredulous, outraged snarl building in his voice, now. "What had _you_ done to disturb the peace of the city? And even when it was just Felix and Demetri, he didn't even raise a finger…!"

"_No,_ Jazz," I said quickly, seeing where this was headed – I would _not_ let him blame Edward. "It's not his fault – there was nothing we could do, nothing _any _of us could do, you know that …"

Jasper didn't reply – but I cold hear him breathing fast on the other end of the line.

"Calm, Jazz. Please. _Calm. _Taste your own medicine."

He gave a short, strained laugh. "I'm fine. I still can't believe you're really – oh…wait a moment, they're all back! Carlisle! Esme! Rosalie, Emmett come quickly, it's Alice on the phone!"

I heard a thundering chorus of footsteps, followed by a crash.

"Emmett!"

Esme's reproachful voice carried down the phone. I laughed quietly as a few more crashes that sounded like chairs being toppled sounded down the line, followed by a muffled kafuffle as the phone was pulled and pushed by several pairs of hands. A tiny bleep indicated Jasper had hit the speakerphone button.

"Alice?"

"Alice? You there?"

"How'd you get out?"

"Where's Edward?"

"Were you on time?"

"- what about Bella -?"

"Where are you now?"

"- tell us everything, Alice!"

The last voice was Carlisle's, which silenced Emmett and Rosalie's frantic stream of questions. I smiled, sighed quietly, and then launched once again into my story. They all listened in silence, more composed even than Edward had been. I was nearing the end, just rattling off our flight number to Carlisle, when suddenly –

"_Excuse me,_ madam?"

I swore quietly into the phone, and turned round to face the glaring female assistant at the edge of my aisle.

"Phones are prohibited for the comfort and safety of passengers of this aircraft. Please refrain from use of your telephone until we reach our next destination. Thank you."

You could tell she'd been programmed to say this.

I gave a sulky nod to the lady, then turned back to the phone. "I've got to go – I'm sorry. Aeroplane rules – I'm getting a telling off here."

Jasper growled. "If you just pass me over to whoever is telling you that rubbish for a second –"

"_No, _Jazz," I interrupted him, smiling in spite of myself at his furious tone, whilst the waiting assistant tapped her foot irritably "I'll be back soon, so soon – flight lands half-eight, ok?"

"We'll be there," Esme interjected. "Waiting for you. All of us."

"Thanks." I smiled. "I'll see you soon. And I love you. All of you. So much."

I pressed end call. The sudden silence at the end of the phone was deafening, horrible. I closed my eyes, sinking slowly back in my seat, feeling like a huge weight was pressing down on my from all sides. _Half-past eight. _

* * *

Just a few more hours, and I would be with him. Just a few more hours to endure…

After what seemed like a century of waiting, the plane began to oh-so-slowly make its long descent to the ground. When we finally touched down, I was out of my seat before Edward and Bella had even moved. Bella had a row of used soda glasses on her little fold-down table; she'd obviously been drinking non-stop to keep herself awake…awake, and with Edward.

_She still believes_, I thought sadly as we trudged through the luggage collection area. _Still believes that he doesn't want her. That he's going to bolt at the first chance he gets._

What a good job Edward had done. What a horribly good job.

We made our way through crowds upon crowds of grumbling, jet-lagged people, down a stairwell, through the red-and-white striped exit barrier, and out the other side. I craned my neck frantically over the seemingly endless flow of people that surged in front of us for what felt like miles, desperately searching for the one face, the one man, the spot at the far end of the lobby by the information booth where I knew from my visions that he would be waiting for me…

_Waiting…kept me waiting…a long time…_

…such an agonizingly, unbearably long time…

_I'm sorry, ma'am…_

And that was it. I was running; ignoring Edward's warning frown, following my visions, forgetting entirely the humans pressing in from all sides, because it didn't matter, nothing mattered except getting back to him, having him hold me, crush me in his arms, safe and home and Jasper, Jasper, _Jasper…_

And then a large woman in a pink dress just in front of me stepped aside as I ploughed towards her, and I could see him. See him for real. And I was positive, _positive_ there was only one other time had he ever looked so beautiful, so wonderful to me – and that was nearly sixty years ago, far, far away through both time and space, across the room of a little diner…

I very nearly lost it then; my every muscle, already stretched to breaking point with the effort of holding back the supernatural speed that would get to him so much faster was suddenly screaming for release; shrieking at me to let go, break free, so I could run and leap and pound my way so quickly, effortlessly through the fragile barrier of humans that lay between us.

I didn't even notice Carlisle and Esme, grouped together by the edge of the waiting area, or the row of trolleys being pushed by a young man right across my path. I ploughed my way through the humans, shoving the barriers aside, stumbling under a information podium, frantically struggling to catch a glimpse of him again through the wall after wall of pointless people, searching, _searching_…finding his gaze, his eyes; deep, dark-gold gazing back into mine with an intensity that blocked out all other things as he too ploughed through the people to reach me…

And then we were through. And together.

My hands reached for his at the same time he did; our fingers met and twisted together, twined round the other, fitting like the two jigsaw pieces they had always been, so that I couldn't feel who's were who's. The way it was supposed to be.

I didn't move. Neither did he. We didn't need to. Inches apart…but unable to shift another centimetre, millimetre, even. Gazing at each other; relief and longing and love and a million other emotions I couldn't name burning from his eyes in searing, smouldering waves. Molten gold. So beautiful.

Jasper.

Jasper.

No words were needed. No kisses or hugs wanted. Nothing…

Just Jasper and Alice. Him, and me. Together.

Safe…home…alive_…_

…together.

Together.

At that moment, nothing else mattered.

* * *

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	50. Chapter 21 FLIGHT PART 4

**Just a little filler chapter, family reunions and such :) thank you to everyone for all your lovely reviews!**

* * *

Minutes could have passed, or even hours – centuries – and I wouldn't have noticed…but finally, finally, after an immeasurable amount of time, Esme's voice reached my ears, calling to us both.

I blinked; refocusing on the sight in front of me, of my husband, of Jasper, Jasper,his face still lost, gazing at me, his fingers iron clamps around mine…

"Jazz?" I whispered, the sound coming out half a question; soft as a breath. He didn't move. He didn't seem able to. But his eyes changed; softened, calmed, a mask not that unlike Edward's old one slipping into place over the beautiful lines of his face, sinking into the burn of his suddenly unreadable eyes; composing every feature into smooth, collected calm; but calm that simmered underneath. Like one touch would make every inch of it collapse. Shatter. Crumple.

And then I was up in his arms; crushed against his chest so tight I couldn't have breathed even if I needed to, his face buried against my hair, his hands clutching at me, desperate to hold me tighter, closer, safer…

"Alice...!" a voice was calling somewhere to our left, muffled by Jasper's shirt, as though the sound was part of a reality I couldn't wake up to, wrapped in a dream with one person and one person only…the only one that really mattered...

"Alice…!"

"Esme…" I mumbled against Jasper's shirt, only half sure I was saying what I wanted to. "Esme…Jazz, I need to –"

"_Alice,_" my adopted Mom's voice sagged with relief as she neared us from behind, and I felt new arms round my waist, not pulling me away – Esme wasn't stupid enough to even try and separate me from Jasper when he looked liked he did – but hugging me tightly, lovingly, her face pressing against my shoulder.

"Oh Alice, honey, I was so worried_…_"

"Esme – Mom," I murmured, adding the pet name I knew she loved, and pulling just the tiniest bit back from my Jasper – his arms loosened just the smallest amount, letting me reach round to hug Esme back properly. "It's ok, Mom, we're safe, we're home…"

"If you _ever _do that to me again –" she said fiercely against my ear, her voice choked and trembling.

"Esme, dear," Carlisle's low murmur interrupted her – and I saw him smiling gently from over her shoulder; blond hair smoothly combed into place as always, gold eyes warm as they met mine. "Let me have a hug too. How about you go back to Edward and help him with Bella…"

"Carlisle –" I heard Jasper start to protest from behind me, but Carlisle had already reached for me.

"Alice," he murmured, pulling me into a tight embrace. "Thank goodness you're all right."

I smiled blearily, burying my face in his shoulder.

"Welcome home," he murmured. _Home, _I thought, and sighed, long and deep, feeling suddenly lighter than I had in days. _Home at last…_

"Thanks," I whispered back – and he drew away, letting Jasper gather me up against him again. I didn't have time to see where Carlisle went – my face was against my husband's shoulder again as he held me close, but gentler, this time, his grip less frantic, lips nestling my hair softly.

"Alice," his voice murmured over and over, "Alice, Alice, Alice…"

"Where are the others?" I murmured quietly. "Rosalie and Emmett – where are they, Jazz…?"

"By the cars," he mumbled, lips at my neck, now, then pressing a kiss to my shoulder – seeming to forget that we were still in the middle of a crowded airport. "Carlisle and Esme are going to join them, with Edward and Bella."

"We should catch them up," I murmured, suddenly longing for one of Emmett's bear-hugs. I drew back to read Jazz's face. He met my gaze blankly, features still masked into calm…but nodded, slowly, in agreement.

He still wouldn't let go of me, even as we made our way out of the airport, and over to where our two siblings were waiting by two cars – Emmett grinning, of course, Rosalie grim-faced and nervous looking. In spite of everything…everything she'd done…I felt just awful for her as Edward started to growl under his breath, glowering at her stunningly beautiful face as we approached.

"Don't," pleaded Esme in a whisper. "She feels awful."

"She should," Edward said sourly, the words loud enough that Rosalie heard – she bit her lip hard. Bella garbled something under her breath, a mush of 'not her fault' – and I smiled. _So _to the end, ready blame herself as readily as my husband was…

"Let her make amends," Esme begged Edward gently, laying a hand on his arm. "We'll ride with Alice and Jasper."

Edward didn't look convinced, but he directed no further growls in Rosalie's direction as he approached the car, and quietly began to help Bella into the back seat.

Jasper steered me to the other vehicle, still refusing to loosen his grip on me even for a second. One of his arms held my hand, the other half-clutching my shoulders, as though terrified I was going to make a run for it at any moment. The idea was so beyond ridiculous to me…didn't he have any idea, any ncontemplatio at whatsoever, of how much I'd missed him…?

* * *

The journey home passed quickly. It was only when I happened to glance at the GPS on the dashboard that I realised we weren't heading back to Ithaca, but…

"…Forks? We're going to Forks?" I said blankly, disbelievingly, and Esme smiled at me through the car mirror.

"We sort of set up camp there – to be near to Charlie, you know, and wait for you to phone. We brought over quite a bit of the furniture too – we didn't know how long we'd have to wait for you to call, if ever, and…well…" She shifted in her seat, her eyes anxious again. "If anything had happened to you…to Edward…Forks was where we wanted to be. And I suppose we rather hoped…I mean…has Edward said anything to you…about poor Bella? About that whole…situation…"

"Oh – yes!" I said eagerly, kicking myself for forgetting completely – _how could I have forgotten _that? - and feeling a smile split my face again as I remembered.

I spent the remainder of the car journey filling them in on Edward's and my conversation back in the Volturi's reception room. Esme was ecstatic at the news. Even Jasper smiled just a little through his grim mask, his fingers dusting my cheek, my hairline, my neck, as we drove on through the dark woods and winding roads that led to Forks.

We pulled into the driveway of our home – our _real_ home – at around midnight. Despite the length of time we'd been away, the garden was spotless, the windows bright. A large skip stood at the entrance to the driveway, filled with what looked like truckloads of junk, rubble, and gardening waste. _Wow._ They must have all been busy during the time Edward and I had been away…

Esme noticed my scrutiny of the newly pruned flowerbeds lining the driveway, and smiled.

"We needed something to do. Something to distract us, keep up busy, whilst we waited. Poor Rosalie, and Jasper…well…it was better than sitting around and doing nothing."

Jasper's arm tightened, impossibly, around my shoulders, lips ghosting over my forehead again, as though checking I was still there, still real, still solid, still with him…

I hugged myself impossibly closer against him, and wished for the hundredth time that we were alone, and in the privacy of our own bedroom.

Carlisle sighed deeply as the car juddered to a stop.

"Well. At least our Bella has a little more time, now. She needed that; time to decide what she really wants, what she's really ready for…"

I thought back to Bella grappling at me on the plane on the way to Italy, face lit up with excitement, begging me to bite her…and couldn't help grimacing. Yes, maybe it _was_ better that she had more time, no reason to rush into choosing her path. She was too impulsive, too reckless – way too ready to throw her whole life away for immortality – for that.

And I'd be ready, I thought determinedly; practised, prepared, for when she did choose. I wouldn't let her down. I would make sure, make certain that she would be able to trust me absolutely, before I did it.

Carlisle was still speaking, half to himself, now.

"They do seem to have been fully reassured, for now…the Volturi, I mean."

_Odd_, I thought, hearing Carlisle talk about the black-cloaked, misty-eyed ancients we'd just escaped, and know…_he _had been a part of all that, too, just a couple of centuries ago. Hm. I tried to imagine Carlisle in a long, silky-black cloak…and failed dismally. No. Whatever Aro might have said, Carlisle could never belong with the Volturi. Never.

I suddenly felt like hugging my adopted father, too – but Jasper's arms were more iron-band like than ever around me, and I knew I couldn't have moved even if I'd wanted to.

"She'll be free to make her own choice when she wants it," Carlisle was still murmuring. "That is…unless the Quilutes decide to make any form of protest…but I doubt that. I'm sure they will understand, understand that is Bella's decision, not something she is to be forced into _or _out of, in any way…"

"Somehow I don't think she'll exactly need forcing," Jasper said quietly, dryly, speaking for the first time since the airport. "It's Edward who will be the difficult one."

Esme sighed very sadly, her face wrought with anxiety again. I bit my lip, thinking of Edward's tortured expression when Aro had asked him to promise him, swear to him Bella would be joining him in immortality one day…

I probed future absent-mindedly, wondering when he would be getting home, if he was going to stay at Bella's house for the night – I hoped so. Bella needed him more than anything, right now…_Edward, face stretched in a smile, moving across Bell's bedroom...the two of them sprawled on her bed together…Edward's lips on hers, his hands twisted in her hair…_

I smiled, and backed out quickly to give them some privacy. "Edward won't be back for a while – maybe not even till tomorrow, five-am-ish. He's…got some explaining to do."

"He certainly does," Esme murmured.

_Our dining room…Bella sitting at our table, brown hair tousled…"Alice promised"… "Become one of you"...a smashing sound…Edward's face, furious and terrified as he gazed at Bella…Bella's blissful, triumphant smile…_

Hm…so, we weren't going to have to wait too long to hear Bella's decision. And the verdict, apparently.

Poor Edward, I thought.

* * *

As we clambered out of the car, a rumbling noise signified Emmett and Rosalie also returning. I turned to see the black Sedan screeching to a halt a little way down the driveway from us, and then Rosalie, face tense but determined, climbing out and headed swiftly towards us.

"Alice," she mumbled as she approached me, "Alice, I'm…I'm…"

She didn't finish her sentence – before I could even blink, she had toppled forward and was suddenly hugging me, awkwardly but firmly, gabbling the rest of her speech under her breath so the others couldn't hear. "Alice, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I was stupid, I was an idiot, callous and selfish and just plain awful, rushing into it, thinking I was so high and mighty and telling him would be the best thing for all of us, when all I really wanted was –!"

"Rose!" I interrupted, resting my head against her shoulder and resisting the urge to roll my eyes. "It's ok, don't worry, it's not your fault…"

"Rosalie –" Jasper's voice protested from my left, his tone strained, hands grasping at me, trying to pull me back into his arms.

"I really am sorry, Alice, I mean it –"

"I know you do." I smiled, pushing her gently away. "Come on, let's forget it, let's talk about something else – where'sEmmett –?"

"- finally!" my big brother's victorious voice sounded from just behind me. "Gotcha!" His huge arms caught me from behind, swinging round in a quick half circle before burying me in an enormous bear hug.

"Don't you freak us out like that again, little sister," he muttered in my ear then, notes of real seriousness in his words – odd, coming from _Emmett, _of all people. He ruffled my hair into even more chaotic spikes with one huge hand; a gesture he'd copied from Edward.

"And for goodness' sake," he muttered, grinning. "Check your _blank-spots_ out properly next time Bells tries to commit suicide, right?"  
I punched him lightly on the shoulder. He laughed as he set me down – and I felt Jasper's arms instantly curl around me again.

"Hunt with me?" he murmured quietly in my ear, gesturing towards the trees. "Please. I want to talk to you alone."

"_Talk?_" Emmett snorted over his shoulder as he and Rosalie set off down the drive towards the house. "Yeah, right!"

Jasper snarled quietly over his shoulder – the sound wasn't feral, just irritable, driven by embarrassment – and pulled me towards the forest.

"We'll be back later!" I called back over my shoulder towards Carlisle and Esme, who were entering the house, "in time for Edward, when he comes back!"

"Have _fun_!" Emmett shouted, still laughing.

"Let's go!" Jasper's voice was furiously impatient now.

He pulled me into a run as we entered the forest.

* * *

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	51. Chapter 22 THE TRUTH PART 1

The two of us ran, hands entwined, for almost a whole minute, deep into the pitch black trees of the forest. I wondered vaguely where he was taking me…and why. Talk, he'd said. Alone.

But something…still wasn't quite right with Jasper. His face was still just a bit too composed; so similar to Edward's stony mask he'd worn for so long back in Volterra…his eyes unseeing, lost in his own thoughts. Miserable, wretched thoughts, they looked like – I didn't like it, didn't like this dark, brooding side of him I knew only too well, had seen so many times before…

Guilt. That was what it was, what it _always_ was, with Jasper. He was blaming himself, just like he always did – blaming himself for the stupid mess I'd gotten myself into, blaming himself utterly, torturing himself with guilt. And I wasn't going to let him, this time. I _wasn't. _

"Jazz!" I called over the skimming of our feet across the forest floor, the creak of the dark trees, the speeding heartbeats of the terrified animals fleeing from our predatory presence. "Jazz! Wait, let's stop a moment – Jazz? _Jazz?_"

No answer. He wouldn't stop, wouldn't even turn to look at me, his face buried away from mine…

"Jazz!"

No answer. I tried to slow my running, to pull him to stop with me – he didn't want to, didn't want to slow even the slightest…

…his shoulders were starting to shake, though, his feet stumbling as he fought to keep running, dragging me along with him…

"…_Jazz…?_"

* * *

That did it.

Without warning, abruptly Jasper skittered to a stop. I almost didn't catch myself in time – the pause was so sudden.

"Jazz? What's wrong, what is it…?"

He wouldn't look at me. Still wouldn't look at me. I reached up to touch his shoulder; both of them were trembling now, shuddering, his hands twisting together, his face turned away, refusing to meet my gaze even as I tried to turn him back to me, hands around his...

"…Jazz? Jazz, look at me, please! Jasper? _Jasper?_"

He took a deep, shuddering breath, a tremor running through his whole body. Then he turned, slowly, to face me.

He face was still composed. Just. Teetering on the edge. But then his eyes met mine; took me in, really looked at me, for the first time since the airport…and that was it.

The whole oh-so-carefully-constructed façade crumbled. Collapsed. His face twisted with emotions that made my heart clench with horror – and suddenly I was in his arms again, feet off the floor, crushed against his chest…his body shuddering against mine with tearless sobs.

_Oh Jazz, Jazz, Jazz…_

"Don't," I murmured to him, hands reaching desperately for his hair, to caress his face, touch his cheek – anything, _anything _to comfort him. "Don't – oh Jazz, don't, please, it's ok –!"

"Never again," he choked, his voice trembling so much I could hardly understand the words, as he fought against dry tears. "Never, Alice, I swear to you, never, _never _will I let you be in that kind of danger again, never will I let you go alone, never without me, never be afraid, _never_…ohAlice, Alice, Alice…"

"_Shh,_ Jazz…" I murmured trying to extract my arms from his vice-like grip to pull back and see his face – but he wouldn't let me, struggling at all costs to hide his face, his weakness, his vulnerability... "I'm safe, Jazz, I'm _safe_. We're home. We're together. And I love you, I love you, I love you so much…"

I didn't get to finish my sentence. Jasper drew back, drew back minutely – just enough to crush his lips against mine with an almost frantic urge. There was a desperate, borderline frenzied edge to them, to the way his hands clutched at my face; once again, it was as though he were terrified I would vanish, disappear from sight, dissolve into thin air, at any moment.

I sighed quietly, hopelessly; letting my arms wind around his neck too, but meeting his urgent kisses slowly, comfortingly, trying to calm him down…

Several far-too-short minutes passed before he finally drew back and away a little, pulling me over to the very same log I realised, with a jolt of déjà vu I knew had nothing to do with my visions, we'd sat on all those months ago, after that disaster of a birthday party…

…_wow. _So much had happened since then, it was dizzying…  
Jasper was still talking, streaming out promises, self-condemnations, words I could barely catch as he gathered me up onto his lap and against his chest again.

"Jazz, don't, don't, please, don't –!"

"If they'd _done _something to you," he choked, lips against my forehead, my cheek, "if they'd…if they'd…_hurt_ you…

"But they didn't," I murmured, stroking my hands over his hair soothingly.

"You couldhave been _k-killed_," he choked, voice breaking as he tried to stem the dry sobs. "And it would have been _my _fault…"

I shook my head desperately, hating this, _hating _how he was finding ways to blame himself for everything. "Jazz, you know that's not true…!"

"It's true," he choked, lips at my throat, my shoulder, my collarbone, and then up again, brushing over mine. "You have no idea…" he whispered brokenly, breath cool, so sweet as it danced against my lips. "No idea what I went through whilst you were gone…"

My eyes closed, guilt bubbling up inside me this time like a fountain. Why, why, _why_ was it always him? Why did my husband have to be so…so…_good_; so unconditionally selfless, always taking the blame for anything that happened to me or the others around him…?

What happened in Italy could have ended in ways I could hardly begin to imagine…but none of that mattered anymore. I was safe. And I had to reassure him. No matter how much I hated, _hated_ lying to him….I had to try.

Slowly, tenderly, I leant very close to my husband, closing my eyes to lean my forehead against his. His fingertips traced every plane of my face, soft as a whisper, as though my icy immortal skin was the most precious and delicate thing in the world. Like a single brush would shatter me; break me; smash my feeble body into a million unfixable pieces. His hands still shook.

"Jazz," I murmured softly, opening my eyes to meet his gaze, so close to mine. "I…I was never, _never_ in anydanger, I told you, I promised you…"

He was shaking his head even before I'd finished; slowly, hopelessly, almost pityingly, his fingers still tracing my face with a feather light touch.

"Don't lie to me anymore, darlin'. Please. I know the truth. I know you lied on the plane…I know why you're lying now…and I know why."

I bit my lip, eyes on the forest floor; his hands cupped my face to gently tilt it back so he could look at me.

"It's ok, darlin'. You don't have to reassure me; I can accept it. You…all of you, could have been taken from me foreverby those…_people_…in more ways than one. It would have been my fault. There is nothing more to it. I was the coward too stupid and too afraid to return to Forks with you. I was the unprotective idiot who should have started worrying about you long before you got on that plane, or at the very least should have insisted – or even _ordered_ – you to come home, just as soon as you touched down at the next airport. I'm the one who should have been there, somehow, with you, no matter what you told me or the others to do, no matter what happened, no matter who's fault it was – I should have been there, been there to protect you, to stand at your side, and I wasn't, I _wasn't_, and you had to face those _vile_ Italians all alone…!"

"Jazz, I had Edw –!"

"_Edward _wouldn't have protected you!" he burst out, his voice breaking into a near shout, eyes blazing with a horrible mixture of fury and pain as he gazed at me. "Don't you see Alice, love, can't you _understand_? If he'd had the choice to protect you, or _Bella_ –" – the name was a snarl – "- think of whom he would have chosen! You had no one, no one, because all _your _protector, your mate, your _pathetic _husband -!"

"Jasper."

He stopped at my interruption, breathing fast and uneven. There was the briefest moment of silence between us – before his arms pulled me once again against his shoulder, holding me so tight I could hardly move. I tried to reach a hand to squeeze his, to stroke his cheek, to draw back from his shoulder to speak, to kiss him – but he wouldn't let me move.

"Jazz…" I sighed.

"_No_," he growled, his lips grazing my ear. "No, Alice…no…"

His voice was choked again – I could hear the dry tears threatening, and Jasper's steadfast determination to hold them back. His arms clutched ever tighter around me…and then his lips were at my ear again, tender this time as they moved around soft words.

"I love you, Mary Alice Brandon," he breathed, so quietly it was barely audible…the words were for me, and only me, to hear. I closed my eyes at the memory of the name, burying my face against his neck. "More than I will ever be able to explain to you. More than you will ever be able to understand, to comprehend. To lose you…I would never be able forgive myself, fault or not. Never."

My breath came out in a soft gush. "Jazz…"

"I love you."

I closed my eyes, drawing away a little to lean my forehead against his again, my insides melting, smouldering, burning…

_No matter how many times he said that, it would always feel the same way…_

"I love you," I whispered, lips a whisper of a brush against his.

We kissed once; chaste and feather-light, and sweeter than any blood I could ever have dreamed of tasting.

* * *

When we drew apart, Jasper's face was better. Calmer. Less wrought with guilt, with that horrible, familiar self-hatred and condemnation…and when he spoke, his voice was more like its old self; he spoke very gently, now.

"Did they frighten you, love…? Scare you at all? Hurt you in any way? Did they try to fight you…?"

I sighed quietly. "No, Jazz. No, of course not. I told you…"

"You've been lying to me about a lot of things, darlin'."

That stung. I knew he hadn't meant it that way…but it stung. I bit my lip hard, unable to meet his gaze. "I know. I'm sorry."

He shook his head, tilting my face back to his so he could kiss my forehead softly. "Don't be. It's all right. I just want to be sure, be absolutely sure…after all…_they_ are never anythinglike they appear to be…"

I shifted uncomfortably, not liking the re-entry of the subject – I really, _really _didn't want to talk about this now…

"It's a _lie,_" Jasper was murmuring in a dark whisper, face set into hard lines – but the hand swept and stroked the coal-black hair back from my face as he spoke was gentle as a breath. "All of it, a lie; a perfectly constructed façade, an Oscar-worthy performance…but you haven't seen what I saw, love, or heard what I heard, back when…back with…Maria –"

– he stumbled over the name, making me clench my own fists automatically –

"- the things she told me, what she'd seen them doing, how they act, how it all works…Carlisle saw it too. You don't know how rare it was for them to let talent like yours and Edward's and a _human _who knows all the secrets and near-exposer of our kind just slide past with no trouble! They killed over _forty _innocent newborns without thinking twice about it back with Maria – I saw it happen! For them to let the three of you go…oh Alice, you have no idea how lucky you were..."

I was silent at this – I didn't know how to answer…and part of me didn't quite trust myself to. I let him pull me close again for a moment – then pull back to meet my gaze, his face was suddenly so tender as he cupped my face between his scarred, ruined hands.

"I'm sorry," he murmured, his voice very serious, but with sincerity ringing in every syllable. "I'm so, so sorry, darlin'. For everything. I promise you, I won't ever let it happen again. Ever. I'm so, so, so sorry…"

I stopped him with a kiss. Another. Another. I could have gone on all night and well into the next day – _and the next, and the next, and the next, _I thought inwardly – but there was something I needed to say, too. Something…_I_ had learnt from this, from what had happened, something I knew now I could never, never go through again – something Jazz most definitely couldn't…and something I needed to promise.

"It won't," I whispered against his lips, "happen again, I mean. Not ever, ever again. Because next time…we'll be together, Jazz. I promise. I promise you…I'll never go any place on earth without you again. Never."

His breath came out in a gush – a long, steaming…colossal sigh of relief.

"Thank you," he sighed, arms encircling me, drawing me against him. "Thank you, darlin'_, _thank you, _thank you_…I love you…"

"…I love you…"

We were kissing again before I could finish my sentence.


	52. AUTHOR'S NOTE

**Author's Note:**

**I've been nominated in the Hopeless Romantic Awards 2011! **

**Firstly - thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you from the bottom of my heart to everyone who nominated me. I seriously cannot stop grinning like a Cheshire cat, having heard this news. Thank you!**

**Secondly - voting. It would mean the world to me if you could take just a minute out of your lives to follow this link to the Hopeless Romantic Awards website, and vote for me:**

**www dot hopelessromanticawards dot blogspot dot com**

**I'm not going to threaten/bribe any of you all in any way over this - but if you could place a vote for me**, **that would be just awesome :) **

**Thank you again to all of you for nominating me, as well as continuing to review and read my stories. Next chapter will be up as soon as I'm back from Asia! Hugs, cookies, and virtual Edward Cullens to you all!  
**

**Merina  
**


	53. Chapter 23 VOTE

**Yes, I am still on holiday in Asia! I've just been lucky enough to access a computer temporarily out here for long enough to write/post one more (lovely and long!) chapter. Don't expect any more till I'm back, ok? Thanks for being patient, everyone. Wish I could give all of you cookies and a virtual Jasper Cullen ;)**

**You guys asked for fluff – so here comes fluff. And you asked for family moments – so here comes family moments. Oh, and the voting scene :) enjoy! **

* * *

"I could stay here forever."

I curled myself impossibly closer into Jasper's embrace, nestling my face against his shirt. We were curled together up against the log we'd spent the past several hours on – _time had flown by just so quickly…_

The moon was up, the forest silent and inky-black around us; swathing us, enveloping us together in our own little world, our own little clearing. My lips felt permanently stretched into the hugest, goofiest of smiles. Every part of me felt warm, every muscle relaxed, all tension gone, from head to foot. I hadn't felt so…so _happy…_so completely content in weeks – _months. _It was the easiest thing in the world to imagine staying here, safe in Jasper's arms, hidden away in our woody clearing forever.

"Mm-hm," I murmured in reply to Jasper's question. "Yep. Me too."

"How long do we have?" he murmured. "Before Edward comes back, I mean."

I paused mid-kiss to grimace, and he chuckled.

"That much? Bother."

I pecked his lips. "Not long. A few hours, maybe…?"

He was silent for a moment, eyeing me – then bent to kiss me deeply, lovingly, _adoringly, _his lips warm and probing.

"Long enough, then," he murmured, not suggestively, or even hopefully, just…thoughtfully. A statement of fact.

I smiled, hands reaching to twine with his. "Emmett will tease us _rotten_."

"Emmett will tease us rotten anyway," he mumbled, a hint of a growl to his voice, now. "The idiot…I swear he gets more infuriating every day."

"But he will tease _less,_" I pointed out, truthfully. "And if Edward comes home any earlier with Bella too, and he might…we can't miss them, Jazz, we can't. Later, ok?"

He nodded, understanding. "Later," he agreed, and bent to kiss me again.

We set off back towards home again at around dawn – _home, home, home!_ I still couldn't stop chanting blissfully in my head – just as the sky was starting to turn faintly grey amongst its sea of glistening stars and pale white moon. Jasper still wouldn't let go of me – I didn't want him to, either – so we moved slower than normal through the now faintly-green trees, arms around the other.

Emmett was waiting for us by the edge of the trees.

"Waiting for the ambush," Jasper muttered darkly against my ear as our brother approached us, grin emblazoned across his face.

"Well, good evening,you two!" he called loudly. "Though, guess I should be saying _good morning, _now, shouldn't I…?"

"Em, please, don't start," I pleaded, pushing past him whilst he laughed, eyes on Jasper, who was growling – _oh great, _of course, Emmett knew as well as I did that he could rile him up better than he ever could me.

"Ignore him, Jazz," I muttered, towing him determinedly towards the house, but Emmett only bounded along behind, grin still gloating upon his face.

"Had a good hunt, then, I take it? You must have gotten practically a whole herdof elk to have taken so _incredibly_ long…!"

"Emmett, please," Jasper growled under his breath, whilst I pulled him up the steps to the front door. "The whole of Forks will hear you –"

"Oh yeah, sure, and you two are so worried about _privacy_ -!"

"I'm warning you, Emmett, don't push it –"

"- ah, now _there's _a phrase just begging for the most spectacular innuendo -!"

"_Emmett_ -!" I burst out, unable to stop myself – but it was too late. Jasper had wrenched free of my clasp and was on top of Emmett in seconds, tackling him to the driveway ground with a crunch.

"_Jazz!_"

"Aw, give us five minutes, Alice!" Emmett called, face triumphant with glee as the two of them rolled over and over on the granite, arms flailing as one tried to get a hold of another; a blur of honey-blonde hair and black curls, pale skin and brand-new, designer jeans I'd picked out for them both only _last week_…

I sighed, feeling a smile creep onto my face in spite of myself. _Ok, fine,_ _let them fight, _I thought. We had time, at any rate, before Edward was due to turn up.

I sank down onto the top porch step to wait, curling my knees up and letting my head fall into my lap to rest…drifting…

…"_I'm going to your house."_

_Edward's face creased in confusion, lips a tight, wary line…_

"_Ok. I'll give you a ride."_

"…_isn't just about you anymore." Bella's face, alabaster pale with dark bags under her eyes; exhausted, but determined. "If you're going to bring the Volturi down on us over something as stupid as leaving me human, then your family ought to have a say."_

I felt a smile stretch wide across my lips. _You tell him, Bella._

…_Edward's face, suspicious now, eyebrows pulled together. "A say in what, exactly?"_

"_My mortality." Bella's smile was triumphant. "I'm putting it to a vote."_

* * *

"Who won?"

Jasper, face impossibly smug, shot a wide smile over at Rosalie from across the living room.

"I did. Three out of five. Your husband kept insisting on rematches."

She laughed, the sound a thousand sweet chiming bells, standing up to glide into a thoroughly disgruntled Emmett's arms as he slouched through the door behind us, all swagger gone now Jasper had taught him a lesson. Carlisle glanced up from his desk.

"How long, Alice? Before Edward returns?"

All eyes in the room turned to me – even Rosalie and Emmett broke apart to watch me hold up one finger, closing my eyes…

"…_not a purely social visit…"_

…_the clock chiming on the mantelpiece…_

"…_vote…"_

"…_me…"_

"…_becoming a vampire…"_

I grinned.

"Half an hour," I concluded, in reply to Carlisle's question. "He'll be here in half an hour. And Bella's coming with him."

* * *

Half an hour it was. The doorbell chimed, and downstairs we all trooped to greet Edward and Bella, the latter of whom was looking just exactly like she'd just got out of bed to visit us at four in the morning. My hands ached to grab the nearest hairbrush and attack her hair from the second she walked through the door – _how could she stand to leave it like that for even five minutes? – _but now wasn't the time for hair fixing.

This was Bella's moment. That much was clear from the second she greeted Carlisle.

"Welcome back, Bella," he smiled at her, warmly. "What can we do for you this morning? I image, due to the hour, that this is not a purely social visit?"

Bella nodded, her face set with fierce determination. "I'd like to talk to everyone at once, if that's ok, about something important."

Carlisle took one glance at Edward – and I could see that he knew, already, what this was about.

"Of course," he replied courteously to Bella, and gestured to the dining table. "Why don't we talk in the other room?"

He led them to Esme's favourite, polished apple wood table he had given her as an anniversary present two decades back, and held out a chair for Bella. I headed for the seat closest to her, next to Edward, catching her eye to grin so she knew I was _in on it. _And on her side, one hundred percent. _You can count on me, Bella._

Carlisle waited until every one seated – then nodded encouragingly towards the single human in our midst.

"The floor is yours."

Bella swallowed, glancing nervously at each of our faces in turn. I reached for her hand under the table, but Edward beat me to it. _Oh well. _She took a deep breath.

"Well…I'm hoping Alice has already told you everything that happened in Volterra…?" she began, tentatively.

"Everything," I reassured her.

"And…on the way?"

"That, too."

She nodded, satisfied. "Good – then we're all on the same page. So. I…have a problem. Alice promised the Volturi that I would become one of you. They're going to send someone to check, and I'm sure that's a bad thing – something to be avoided."

I tried to picture some of Aro's ghostly, grim-reaper-garbed guards paying a check-up visit to Forks, milling amongst its residents…and shuddered. Yes. Most definitely, something to be avoided. Avoided at all costs.

"And so, now," Bella went on, "this involves you all. I'm sorry about that. But if you don't want me, then I'm not going to force myself on you, whether Alice is willing or not."

I opened my mouth at the same time Esme did – but Bella held up a hand.

"Please, let me finish. You all know what I want. And…I'm _sure_ you know what Edward thinks, too."

Emmett suppressed a smirk, causing Edward to kick him under the table.

"I think," said Bella, "the only fair way to decide is for everyone to have a vote. If you decide you don't want me, then I guess I'll have to go back to Italy alone."

The silence that followed was tense, as everyone considered that.

"I can't have_ them_ coming here," Bella murmured, very quietly. I felt Jasper's hand creep protectively around mine as though unable to help himself.

"Taking into account then, that I won't put any of you in danger either way…I want you to vote yes on no on the issue of me becoming a vampire," Bella finished, with small, shy half-smile.

"Just a minute," Edward cut in. "I have something to add before we vote."

_Of course you do, _I thought dubiously in his direction – earning myself my own good-natured kick from him under the table.

"About the danger Bella's referring to," he explained. "I don't think we need to be overly anxious."

Two pairs of eyes stared disbelievingly back at him following this statement – Bella's and mine. _Didn't need to be overly anxious? What?_

But Edward was deterred – he leant forward across the table, eyes on me as he spoke. "You see," he began, "there was more than one reason why I didn't want to shake Aro's hand there at the end. There's something they didn't think of, and I didn't want to clue them in."

"Which was?" I prodded, still thoroughly sceptical.

"The Volturi are overconfident. And with good reason. When they decide to find someone, it's not really a problem. Do you remember Demetri?"

Carlisle and I nodded. Bella shivered.

"He finds people – that's his talent. Why they keep him. Now, the whole time we were there, I was picking their brains for anything that might save us, getting as much information as possible. So I saw how Demetri's talent works. He's a tracker – a tracker a thousand times more powerful than James was. His ability is loosely related to what I do, or what Aro does. He catches the…flavour? I don't know how to describe it – the tenor, of someone's mind, and then he follows that. It works over immense distances. But after Aro's little experiments…well…"

"You think he won't be able to find me," said Bella flatly.

Edward grinned; smug. "I'm sure of it. He relies totally on that other sense. When it doesn't work with you, they'll all be blind."

"And how does that solve anything?" Bella demanded.

"Quite obviously, Alice will be able to tell when they're planning a visit, and I'll hide you. They'll be helpless – it will be like looking for a needle in a haystack!"

"But they can find _you!_" she cried incredulously, voicing my own thoughts for me.

"And I can take care of myself."

Emmett laughed delightedly – of course, _he_ would warm to the idea – extending a fist across the table towards Edward.

"Excellent plan, my brother!"

"No," Rosalie hissed.

"Absolutely not!" Bella agreed, furious.

"Nice," Jasper murmured.

"Idiots," I muttered.

Esme just glared at her three grinning sons.

"All right, then," Bella cut in, before Edward could rally any more of us to his cause. "Edward has offered you an alternative to consider. Let's vote."

Edward was, naturally, the first person she turned to. "Do you want me to join your family?"

His answer was instantaneous – and expected. "Not that way. You're staying human."

Bella nodded curtly, and turned to me. "Alice?"

"Yes."

We grinned at each other. Edward glowered.

"Jasper?" Bella's voice was warier, now, her heartbeat accelerating just a touch as she turned to my husband. His eyes just barely strayed from mine as he spoke his answer.

"Yes."

I worried for a second that he might be simply agreeing with me, like he always did – but no…his expression was sincere. He really meant it.

"Rosalie?" Bella was asking, even more timid, now.

Rose hesitated, her eyes darting to Edward's, Carlisle's…back to Bella's…

"No," she half-whispered.

Hurt spasmed across Bella's face for a split second before she controlled it – making Rosalie hold up both hands in desperation.

"Let me explain – I don't mean that I have any aversion to you as a sister. It's just that…this is not the life I would have chosen for myself. I wish there had been someone there to vote no for me."

Bella nodded, understanding – and turned to Emmett.

"Hell, yes!" he chuckled, making her smile at last. "We can find some other way to pick a fight with this Demetri!"

_Typical Emmett_. Bella turned to Esme.

"Yes," she said, at once. "Of course, Bella. I already think of you as part of my family."

"Thank you, Esme," she murmured, flushing a little as she faced the final one of her voters – Carlisle.

All eyes turned to him, our family's leader. His vote would count more than anyone's; cancel all others out, regardless – and Bella knew it. But he wasn't looking to her.

"Edward," he murmured, eyes pleading as they rested on his son's already half-snarling expression.

"_No_," he growled, hands clenching the sides of the table so tightly I saw Esme wince.

"It's the only way that makes sense," Carlisle said, hopelessly. "You've chosen not to live without her…and that leaves me no choice."

Edward was out of his seat and away into the living room before he'd even finished speaking, snarls ripping from his chest; the sound was broken, ugly, livid with fury. _Oh Edward…_

Carlisle sighed. "I guess you know my vote."

Bella grimaced sheepishly.

"Thanks," she mumbled.

Everyone except me – who saw it a split second before it happened – jumped as a shrieking, shattering _crash _of broken glass and crushed plastic sounded from the living room. _Ouch. _That would be Emmett's new flat screen he'd gotten in Denali just two weeks ago…

Bella was biting her lip now, guilt twisting her features; but she jutted her chin up defiantly, determined to hold on to her victory.

"That's all I needed – thank you," she said, gazing at each of us in turn. "For wanting to keep me. I feel exactly the same way about all of you, too."

Esme pushed out of her seat to throw her arms around her new daughter-to-be.

"Dearest Bella," she breathed.

I caught Bella's eye over her shoulder, and grinned. _We did it, _I tried to convey to her jubilantly._ We won him over, and you've got it, Bella – got what you wanted, at last! _

She seemed to understand. After hugging Esme tightly back a few second longer, she gently disentangled herself from the embrace, and turned towards me.

"Well, Alice," she said, business-like all of a sudden. "Where do you want to do this?"

I stared blankly. _What?_

Wait…she didn't mean…she _couldn't _mean for us to do it...

…right _now?_

But…but I wasn't ready! I wasn't safe, wasn't practised enough! I wasn't prepared to even consider -!

- "_No!_" a roar sounded from the living room, and in charged Edward again, knocking chairs aside as he reached for Bella's arms, his face wild. "No, _no, NO_!"

Jasper was suddenly in front of me, arms spread as he slid into a half-crouch; ready to defend. Even Emmett shifted uneasily as Edward snarled like an enraged lion, inches from Bella's cringing face.

"Are you _insane?_" he almost bellowed. "Have you utterly _lost your_ _mind -?_"

"Um, Bella!" I managed to call, peeping around Jasper's forearm. "I – I don't think I'm _ready _for that – I'll need to prepare –"

"You promised!" she glared around her own mate, voice accusative now. I chewed my lip frantically.

"I know, but – seriously, Bella! I don't have any idea how to not kill you!"

Emmett laughed – the sound was too loud, fraught with nerves.

"You can do it," Bella encouraged. "I trust you!"

Edward whipped round to snarl so horrifically at me I couldn't help but flinch – _don't, Edward, don't, please stop –_ cowering behind Jasper whilst he hissed softly, warningly under his breath…

"- Carlisle!" Bella suddenly burst out, her face alight with new hope as she swung round to face him.

"I'm able to do it," he nodded. "You would be in no danger of me losing control."

"Sounds good."

I opened my mouth to protest – _no, _I wanted to insist, _no, this was my job, my promise to Bella, what we'd agreed on the plane together! – _but Jasper's hand covered my lips.

"_Please,_" he breathed against my ear. "Please, darlin', don't – don't antagonize him any further. I don't want to have to fight him – but I will, if it comes to that. Let Carlisle deal with it. Please, love_._"

My shoulders slumped in resignation. "Ok," I mumbled.

"Wait a moment," Edward suddenly spoke up, a new thought seeming to strike him. "It doesn't have to be now –"

"There's no reason for it _not _to be now," Bella growled, clenching her teeth in frustration.

"I can think of a few."

"Of course you can. Now let go of me."

He let her loose, settling for folding his arms and simply glaring down at her instead.

"In about two hours, Charlie will be here looking for you. I wouldn't put it past him to involve the police."

"All three of them," Bella muttered, but he ignored her.

"In the interest of remaining _inconspicuous_," – here he directed a pointed look at Carlisle – "I suggest that we put this conversation off, at the very least until Bella finishes high school, and moves out of Charlie's house."

Silence, for a few moments. Visions shifted, flittered, floated in and out of focus – the future was changing again…

"That's a reasonable request, Bella," Carlisle was saying, gently. She pursed her lips.

"I'll…consider it."

Everyone relaxed, visibly, as Edward's fists unclenched and he let his breath out in a gush. He was obviously just about satisfied – for now.

_Anything to delay the inevitable, _I thought teasingly in his direction. He rolled his eyes, reaching for Bella's hand.

"I should probably take you home. Just in case Charlie wakes up early."

He was in a hurry to get out, now. We could all see it. But Bella wasn't done quite yet. She turned one last time to Carlisle, fixing him with a steady, unwavering gaze.

"After graduation?" she prompted.

Carlisle smiled, inclining his head. "You have my word."

I stared at the ground, trying not to grimace. _She's got what she wanted, _I reminded myself determinedly, _that's all that really matters, isn't it? And Carlisle will be able to do it better than you ever could. You know that. _

I sighed. Yes, I did know that.

But disappointment still stung.

Bella took a deep breath – and then she too smiled, wider than she had all evening; a smile of triumph.

"Ok," she said, and then to Edward, "You can take me home."

He did just that – scooping her up in his arms and darting out the back door before she could settle any more deals he disapproved of with any of us.

Emmett chuckled as the door slammed shut behind them.

"Awesome. That was _awesome._"

Rosalie elbowed him. "Not for Edward, it wasn't."

"Yeah, but still, her face at the end there! Priceless!"

He chuckled again. Even I felt myself starting to grin. "Yup – she won him over."

"And about time too," he agreed, clapping my shoulder with one huge hand as he passed on his way out to the living room, Rosalie close behind him. "Though…yeah, I guess it does kind of suck for Edward. Pun intended."

Jasper groaned at the terrible joke.

"Come on, Alice," he murmured. "Let's get out of here, escape the idiocy –"

"_Oh!_" Emmett's cry sounded from the living room. "Damn – he's wrecked it! Smashed it to bits!"

Carlisle passed a weary hand over his face, smiling in spite of himself.

"I think," he murmured, his gentle eyes on his wife. "That it might be time for us _all_ to escape and retire for the evening. Esme?"

They left the room arm in arm, just before Jasper and me, stopping at Carlisle's study whilst we headed on up to our bedroom. Jasper's arms were still so entwined around me it was difficult to climb the stairs.

"_Jazz,_" I smiled, turning to face him halfway up, "you've got to stop this. I'm _here_. I'm safe_. _Everything's ok now."

He only smiled wordlessly back, arms tightening all the more to pull me into an embrace.

"Let me carry you," he whispered, soft against my ear. I let him.

Our room was a mess, when we finally entered it – everything jumbled in disorganized piles – but for once…I didn't notice it. And when we finally made it down onto our bed and a shaft of moonlight streaking in through the open window illuminated a stack of the clutter…I was far too preoccupied to care.

It would be a many, _many _hours before this room got the tidying up it needed from me…

* * *

**For nearly two years now, I've harboured a sort of 'secret dream' of reaching 1000 positive reviews on this story. I never dreamed it would be possible - but now, thanks to you guys, I'm less than 30 away. **

**All I can say is: thank you, thank you, _thank you _everybody! ****And now, with just two more chapters to go...could I ask that you leave me just one more review so I can reach my goal? Thank you!**


	54. Chapter 28 EPILOGUE

**So...it's been nearly three years since I began this, and some of you are still with me, even after all this time. To those insanely, incredibly loyal readers – I take my metaphorical hat off to you. You've the patience of a saint. **

**But to everyone, even those just joining the party today, with the posting of this final chapter – thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Thank you for reading. Thank you for reviewing. Thank you for taking time out of your lives to follow Alice's New Moon. **

**A last review from you all would be wonderful. I'd love to know your overall thoughts on the story, and any requests you may have for what I write in the future. **

**Thank you, and goodbye :) over and out, and here we go with the last chapter…**

* * *

Everything was back to normal. Almost.

Carlisle was welcomed back to the hospital with open arms – they'd suffered badly without him, and were only too willing to take him on again, no problem.

School was back – it hadn't changed one bit since last year, but then, I doubted Forks High School _ever_ did – and started that Monday. Bella's circle of friends welcomed me right back with as wary but polite a manner as they always had, Angela being the politest of all. I liked Angela. And Jess.

But Bella was my real friend – now, even more so than ever. I didn't mind – not in the slightest – because in just less than four months, if all went according to plan…we would be sisters.

_Sisters._

I couldn't _wait!_

"You're joking," Jasper had said, blankly, when I'd first told him about Edward's proposal, having witnessed the whole thing myself with squealing excitement whilst out hunting with him one morning. "I can't believe it…all the deals Edward has made with her over this…you're saying he offered to change her, on condition she marry him first? Just so he can be the one to do it? Really? _Really?_"

"Really," I affirmed, rubbing absentmindedly at a tiny speck of blood that had somehow or other made its way onto my new floral-patterned skirt. _Bother. _Brand-new it had been, too! "And college thrown in the mix, if she comes around. Talking of which, we really need to get our applications done, don't we?"

Jasper wasn't listening.

"Insane," he muttered, shaking his head in disbelief at the elk he'd just drained. "Those two really are just…impossible. _Impossible._"

Someone I knew would most definitely agree with Jasper was Charlie. He'd grounded his daughter – "_Forever,_" Bella had announced to me dejectedly on Monday at school – and only let Edward visit during certain designated times.

"But you, Alice – you come round whenever you want to, ok?" he'd assured me when I'd called for my friend that Saturday morning to take her shopping. "Don't feel you need to stay away just because…well…you know. You come over when you want. Door's always open."

And he'd given me a smile; his awkward, lopsided Charlie-smile, and it had been just like after the whole James fiasco all over again. Edward in Charlie's bad books, me in his good – when really, it should have been completely the other way round. But I wasn't complaining. I liked Charlie, too – it was nice to know that he still liked me. And it was great having an excuse to visit Bella as often as I wanted.

There was only one thing that kept normal life from resuming as completely as before. Something I knew Bella was still tearing herself up over…and it wasn't really that hard for anyone to guess what.

_Jacob Black. _

The name was still sour in my mouth whenever I spoke it. I tried, tried, _tried _not hate him – not to mind the fact that half the woods around Forks simply _reeked _of dog stink, or that no matter how many hours I spent with my best friend, I knew, deep down, I would never be able to compete with the friendship she and Jacob had shared…

That thought always brought the silliest, stupidest little lump to my throat, no matter how hard I tried to stop it. I wouldn't hate him. I _wouldn't_. Even after the way he was treating Bella these days – never answering her pleading phone calls, ignoring her passed notes, blanking her so completely.

It couldn't end well, that was for sure, when Jacob Black finally diddecide to make himself available to Bella again. Oh help…and how would Jasper react when he found out how close I'd be coming into contact with him when he started hanging around Charlie's house – where _I _so often was – as well…?

It was a small headache. Just one problem unsolved.

But for everything else…our life in Forks picked up right where it had left off. Everything back to normal.

Almost.

* * *

It was the last day of March. Twilight was just falling; the ruby sun sunk low in the sky, shadows settling over the trees of the forest below me, fading light warm on my back as I bent over my sketchbook, stack of unfinished English homework sitting abandoned next to me.

I'd never been anything like as good at drawing as Esme, what with all her renovation and design work – but I'd followed through enough fashion degrees to become pretty decent. Anyway, this sketch didn't need to be perfect. It was just a rough draft. A possibility. A faint maybe…

"Alice?"

I jumped – my pencil skidding across the page in a clumsy zigzag. _Dang it._ I swung round on my perch to see Edward closing the balcony door with a click, his face curious as he approached me.

"Are you drawing something?"

I grinned. "Yup. Want to see?"

"I'd love to."

He hitched himself up on the railing next to me, leaning across to examine my sketch. I held it out to him – careful to guard my thoughts so it would be a surprise – still grinning. _Wait till he saw it…_

Edward took one look at the pad – and went very still, curiosity freezing into shock on his face.

"A wedding dress," he said, blankly.

"Mm-hm." I stroked the edge of a pencilled sleeve affectionately. "What do you think?"

"It's beautiful."

I pouted. "_Just…_beautiful?"

He chuckled, ruffling my hair. "All right, then – _exquisite. _Absolutely perfect. I take it you have someone in mind to be wearing this work of art, then…?"

"Oh _yes._" I beamed. "Definitely. Thought…it's not completely decided yet, I know. It's just in case. Better to start planning early, right?"

He rolled his eyes. "As long as she's all right with it. Bella isn't one for the parties, you know, Alice – she might prefer a more private ceremony, something quiet and informal."

I frowned thoughtfully down at the pad, trying to fit the words 'quiet' or 'informal' to any part of my beloved creation…oh dear.

"I'll…make some adjustments," I mumbled, after a few minutes, making Edward laugh again.

"All right," he said, shifting closer to me along the railings. "Alice, I'm afraid I must admit…I didn't exactly come to talk to you about wedding dresses. There's something else."

His face was serious, now, his eyes intent as they gazed into mine.

"I need you to do something for me. For Bella too, but…me mostly. It's my mind that needs to be set at rest, not hers. And you're really the only one who can do it, do…this. I'm sorry about that."

I shook my head, oblivious. "What do you want me to do?"

_Aside from planning you the most spectacular wedding Forks has ever seen, that is?_

Edward didn't smile. He hesitated a moment – then shifted even closer, taking my hand and lowering his voice, almost as though wary of someone overhearing us.

"We aren't out of the woods yet," he murmured, slowly – and I knew at once, of course, what he was talking about. The 'woods'.

_The three 'woods' in particular…_

One – the Volturi. Waiting and watching for the promise we'd made to be fulfilled, planning their dreaded visit to Forks to ensure that we did…set to destroy us all if we didn't…

"Not _all _of us," Edward muttered, voice dark with a bitter sort of humour. "Aro would spare my life, if he had any hope of persuading me to _join up. _And he'd never in a million years lay a finger on you even if you begged him for death on bended knees…"

I shuddered. _Way to put the mood down, Edward. _Because he knew as well as I did that if Bella and Jasper and the rest of our family had already been…dealt with…death was just exactly what I _would_ be begging for.

I shoved the thought away, shaking my head. I didn't want to talk about this, not now. _Moving on…_

Two – the wolves'. Angry, unsettled wolves, _a whole pack of them,_ ready to break the treaty the second we did, regardless of any choice Bella made or not…

And three – Victoria. Always the murderous, raging, revenge-crazed Victoria…

_Which was worse? _I wondered. Rampant werewolves? Volturi execution? Or James's vicious, bloodthirsty mate…?

The evening suddenly seemed very cold and dark around us. The forest below the railings was thick with black. Unfathomable. I suppressed a shiver.

"Yes," I murmured, voice as quiet as Edward's, now. "I know. Not out of the woods yet."

Edward nodded, his face very grave. "As things stand with _Victoria_," – the name was a low growl, his jaw clenching tight – "we need to know when she next decides to make an appearance. The same goes for the Volturi. And it wouldn't hurt to have Charlie on our radars too, just in case, plus Bella herself, of course, and maybe the wolves' too, though I know that's near-impossible…"

He trailed off, watching my expression. I smiled ruefully, tucking my knees up to my chest and resting my chin on them.

"You want me to watch them."

It wasn't a question. Ok, to be honest, I'd expected something like this – it wasn't really news to me. _Once the Cullen family watchdog, always the Cullen family watchdog…_the thought made the evening seem a little brighter around me again.

"Yup. I can do that, for sure."

It would be tough, keeping tabs on _all _of them…but I could deal with that, couldn't I? I'd been through worse. Finding Jasper all those years ago, for one thing – nothingcould be harder than that.

"It's just the triggers, the decisions," Edward was saying, quickly. "Nothing more. Could you manage to watch the wolves' in the same way?"

My turn to clench my jaw.

"No. I can't see _anything _when it comes to them. Blind as a bat." I glowered at the ever-darkening forest beneath us. "Stupid werewolves," I muttered, and then wished I hadn't. Bella wouldn't like me to speak about them that way, I knew…speak about her best friend, her Jacob, that way…

Edward chuckled.

"All right. You could manage Bella though, couldn't you?

I nodded. "Oh yes – easy." Then I smiled. "One of my favourite channels, remember?"

He grimaced at the memory.

"Don't worry," I said. "If anyone so much as _touches_ her…I'll know."

He nodded, letting out his breath in a gush.

"Thank you, Alice," he murmured, squeezing my hand tight, and I could see that he meant it, really meant it,. "Thank you. I owe you."

_Yes_, I grinned. _You do. _Big_ time. For bailing you out with Aro in Italy, too._

"And for coming to save me from myself in the first place," he agreed, nodding grimly to himself. "Yes…Jasper was right. I owe you a great deal, Alice."

I frowned. _What had Jasper been telling him?_

But talking of owing great deals to people…

"…how about that yellow Porsche 911 Turbo for Christmas?" I suggested, and he laughed, pulling me into a brief, one-armed hug.

"Definitely."

We stayed silent a moment then, arms around the other – till the bedroom door creaked, groaned, swung open behind us.

"Jasper's looking for you," Edward murmured, unnecessarily. He knew as well as the rest of the family how Jasper had barely let me out of his sight in the past few weeks. If anyone was coming to search for me, it would be Jasper.

"Alice?" my husband's voice called me, a second later. "Alice, where are you?"

"Out here!" I called, pulling away from Edward to hop off the railings. I darted to open the balcony door, Edward close behind me.

Jasper almost collided with us both.

"Thank goodness, there you are," he sighed in relief, worry draining from his expression the second he saw me. "I couldn't find your scent, not anywhere – I was starting to think you'd gone off somewhere without –"

"Shh_,_ Jazz," I mumbled, slipping my arms around him, only too aware of Edward's amused smile behind us both. "I'm fine, just sketching – took the shortcut up the roof to the railings, that's why my scent –"

"I know," he sighed. "I know, I didn't think…at least Edward was with you…"

Edward started to chuckle. I buried my face against my husband's chest in humiliation. _At least you can thank your lucky stars Emmett's not here, he'd be unbearable…_

"It's all right, Alice," Edward smiled, understanding. "Bella has to put up with just the same."

Then he turned to nod seriously to my husband. "Your wife was quite safe with me, I assure you, Jasper."

I rolled my eyes, drawing back to gaze up at him fondly. "Overprotective fool."

He only smiled in response, kissing my hair. Edward sidled discreetly past us both to the balcony door.

"I think I'll leave you two in peace…thank you again, Alice. See you later."

He gave us one last smile. Then he was gone.

Neither one of us said anything for several minutes. Really, though…there wasn't anything much to _be_ said. No worries to mull over – all our problems were far off, in Italy or La Push, miles from striking our family anytime soon. And I would see them coming, long before they did…

Jasper's arms lifted me carefully; setting me on the railings once again. He pulled himself up beside me in one swift movement, arm protective around my shoulders, turning to face the forest and endless night sky beyond our home. Still, we didn't say anything.

Inky-dark trees rustled and shifted beneath us in the wind. Leaves fluttered. All black; dipped in oil, in darkness. Night was really falling now, settling over everything. I could hardly even see Jasper's face.

His lips traced my forehead, my cheek, nestling under my ear.

"I'm going to miss this."

My lips found his. We kissed softly for a moment, precarious on the railings.

"Miss what?" I murmured.

"This." He kissed me once, chaste, then ducked his head to the forest, gesturing with one hand. "Forks. Washington. This house. Our home. Even the high school…"

I stared at our entwined fingers, all kisses forgotten. Of course. I hadn't thought – we _would _have to leave, wouldn't we? And soon, too – graduation, if Carlisle kept his word. Of course we would have to flee Forks. Bella would be newborn; wild, dangerous to control in even the most remote of places. And Charlie would need to be protected, saved from ever finding out the truth, or the Volturi would take _him _down, too. Not to mention the wolves – had the treaty ever had a limit on distance? I would have to ask Edward…

"…you never know," I murmured, tentatively. "Maybe we'll get lucky. Maybe Edward was right. Maybe the Volturi will leave us be for a few decades. Maybe Victoria will give up. Maybe the wolves will decide to let Bella make her own decision, treaty or no treaty…"

"Maybe."

But he sounded even less convinced than I was. I sighed.

"Who knows what the future might bring," I murmured. Jasper chuckled, his arms tightening.

"I think I know someone."

_But that was just it. _I didn't. I _didn't_. We'd reached a crossroads; paths in every direction, a thousand signposts to follow, routes to take. I was as clueless as to what awaited us next as anyone else. At least for now, things were settled. Safe. But who knew what was waiting for us in the coming weeks, months, years? Not me, certainly. Not yet…

…_who knows what the future will bring…?_

I shook my head, smiling to myself. _Who indeed…_

Beside me, Jasper moved.

"Come on." He scooped me up, sketchpad and all, setting me down beside the railings so he could scramble off himself. "Let's not talk about it anymore. Graduation's still a long way off, but it'll be here before we know it."

He brushed a ghost of a kiss to my lips, then drew back to smile.

"Let's make sure we don't waste a single second more of our time here."

_A single second_. Yes. That was exactly what it felt like, now – like a clock had started ticking. Sand through timer. Petals off a flower. So many things waiting, watching. Bella's days as a human numbered. Time running out, for all of us…

…_who knows what the future will bring…_

"Alice? Are you coming?"

Jasper stood watching me from the door. Amber light illuminated him, flooding from our bedroom. Warm. Welcoming. _Home. _His expression was very gentle, his hand held out to mine, outstretched and open, just like always, just like always he had, always did…

…_just like Aro's…_

The thought came out of nowhere –irrational, unwanted, _horrible. _I batted it away, shuddering. _Stop it. Stop it, Alice. _That was over, done, a past mistake – _I wouldn't think of it,_ I wouldn't, _wouldn't_…

And suddenly, all I wanted was to be in Jasper's arms. I didn't answer his question – didn't say a single word – just darted across the balcony to him as fast as my legs would carry me.

"I love you," I whispered, the words tumbling out – and then I was kissing him again, clinging to him, clutching him, crushing myself against him – _nothing could make me leave him again, nothing, not ever, I wouldn't let it, I _couldn't_ let it…_never again. No matter what.

Jasper held me very carefully, unmoving and silent as the forest below – and I knew he'd sensed something more to this, something beyond my franticness. His hands – _his _hands – warm and heavy and ravaged with battle-scars – cupped my face, light as feathers, parting my lips from his.

"I don't know what's coming," I blurted.

"I know. I know, love." He smiled sadly, tracing my features with scarred fingertips. "But you know…neither do I. Neither do any of us. Neither do _most _people."

I ducked my head against his shoulder, nestling. Jasper's lips were at my ear.

"It'll be all right, Alice. It will." He kissed the hollow under my jaw line, lips a whisper against my skin. "I love you."

I kissed his shoulder. His neck. His cheek.

"I love you."

Nothing more would be said between us till morning.

I had only one last thought as he scooped me up in his arms a final time to take us inside. And it was thought that, in spite of everything…made me feel better. Just a bit.

_Yes…who knew? Who knew what the future would bring?_

But nothing should ruin _this_ moment. Nothing would ruin _now_.

Now…we were safe.

Now…everything was in place.

Now…everything was almost perfect.

Now, I really shouldn't…_couldn't_…have been happier.

* * *

_Who knew…_

…_who knew what the future would bring…_

I smiled.

* * *

_I would find out soon enough. _


End file.
